Nov 16, 2024
having no object permanence is like:
socks are in the drawer, paint is in the box under your bed, also your boyfriend loves you, even tho he's not in the room with you rn
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having no object permanence is like:
socks are in the drawer, paint is in the box under your bed, also your boyfriend loves you, even tho he's not in the room with you rn
A loooong requested audio episode on ADHD and dating.
I cover common problems faced and advice to face them.
There’s advice for the ADHDer and the partner.
You can also listen to it on:
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/abcsofadhd/adhd-and-dating-common-problems-and-advice
Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/abcs-of-adhd/the-abcs-of-adhd-basics-for-adult-adhders
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7bepHNmR27UP25AySyoIwk
Apple podcast: <still being dicks>
I was wondering if you had any advice on dating someone with ADHD. Most of what I know is just from first-hand experience, but I think my boyfriend is predominantly hyperactive. He also definitely has difficulty with emotions and mood swings. I’ve always been hesitant to ask because I don’t want to think of ADHD as being his defining factor, but as someone with ADHD what would you want a significant other to know/do in a relationship? I want to be there for him in whatever way I can.
Ok, my advice will cover few most important factors:
Don’t baby him. You will see this as a common complaint/problem online, where relationship with ADHDer becomes like an unhealty co-dependant parent/child dynamic where the partner starts to pick up too much slack for the ADHDer. This is incredibly common due to the nature of ADHD (happened to me too). You just helping him out can quickly turn into you doing things FOR him.
Be straightforward. ADHDers are bad with emotions so I would follow similar advice as dating someone with ASD. Don’t expect him to pick up on how you’re feeling; tell him directly. You also have to remember to-
COMMUNICATE. ADHDers can be bad at communication. So remember to set time aside to speak your mind and how you feel atleast once a week. Things that need to be said have to be said.
ADHDers are hypersensitive so be careful about how you say things. And understand that his immidiate reaction may just be RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria).
And most importantly, DON’T SACRIFICE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH FOR HIS SAKE. Look out for number one, ie, yourself. If you can’t handle it, you can leave him. It’s harsh but it has to be said. You can be fully supportive but if your partner is not interested in being helped, you don’t have to stick around.
Good luck :)
I have ADD and I'm in a relationship (I'm a senior in high school), do you have any info, helpful tips, or things that I should be mindful of? (I know that this is kind of vague, but I didn't know a better way to articulate it)
Absolutely. I have given advice on being with an ADHDer so the advice for an ADHDer would be the opposite:
Remember that they are your partner, not a parent
Tell them how you feel, even the insecure and anxious thoughts
Make time (atleast once a week) to COMMUNICATE
Keep in mind that we have RSD and have a tendency to feel things harder, so what you think they mean by something might not be what they actually do
And most importantly, don’t ask or expect them to sacrifice their mental health for you
I tend to get bored of my relationships, even when I know I still like the person I'm with a lot! Is that an ADHD thing?
This is 100% an ADHD thing! Even if you are in love with the person, you get bored. But that is not you being bored of the relationship, but being bored and being in a relationship.
Do relationships between two ADHDers work? I’m so fed up, I cannot live like this anymore. Maybe we’re just not meant to live together, the house is full of stuff he’s supposed to throw away but never did. Full of wrappings of food he eats. I’m ADHD too ffs.
stopping an hour into making out w/ each other to find out whether dalmatian spots/patterns are genetic (we both have adhd)
Is it Social Anxiety or Adult ADHD
The Link Between Social Anxiety and ADHD Image Source Deposit Photos 36174233 You get a call from an unfamiliar number and automatically hit end so you can avoid picking it up. Calling to make appointments you need, seems like an insurmountable task. You rehearse your drive-through order over and over while waiting in line so you don’t accidentally mess it up. You’re mysteriously ill every time…
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