i'm not trying to be pessimistic or insecure but the truth is I'm ugly. Guys don't date me, I'm almost 20 and I've never had a bf, and I find it really hard to make friends. Years of experience have taught me that I'm just not as physically attractive as other people. I'm willing to accept this and I think it would be better if I did cause then I won't have to keep feeling like I did something wrong...
(conti)…Well anyway, being ugly is really effecting my everyday life. So i need some advice on how to cope with not looking socially acceptable. How can I make friends when my looks usually turn people away? How will I ever find a boyfriend? Should I settle for a boyfriend and if so, how? I know this sounds really sad but it’s becoming such a problem. Guys that I try to date are usually too embarrassed to bring me around their friends and family (this has happened with more than one guy)… (conti)…I find it hard to make friends because I always just seem so awkward and out of place and when I do make friends im always left as a third or fifth wheel which really sucks too. And I’ve gotten comments like “I would never like someone like you” “to be honest, you’re kind of the ugliest one in the group” “I’m not attracted to you” “People can’t know I like you” “I’m a little embarassed of you” and the list goes on. Please help.
_______________________________________________________
The truth is your beautiful. And I know it’s hard to believe because of the amount of jerks you have had putting you down but I can promise you that you are beautiful. I am going to use the same example I use all the time but my cousin didn’t have her first boyfriend until she was 25 or her first kiss until then either so honestly it’s a lot more common than you think and just because these people that put you down have told you that you aren’t beautiful it doesn’t mean someone else isn’t going to come along and think that you are the most beautiful girl on this planet. People are attracted to different people and that doesn’t make you any less beautiful. You might not be attracted to someone that your friend thinks is hot but that doesn’t make that person any less beautiful. The same goes for you.
If it is effecting your everyday life I do recommend going to see a counselor or a therapist who will be able to help you with your confidence issues and any thing else that you are feeling.
If someone doesn’t want to be friends with you because of the way that you look then you be thankful that they don’t because why would you want friends like that who judge people on the way they look and not for who they really are. They aren’t the right friends for you so you go out and find those real friends. It took me 5 years to find my real friends and I am so glad that I stuck with finding mine than just allowing myself to stick with a bunch of fake friends not to be alone. I would rather be alone than be unhappy in a friendship group.
You will find a boyfriend believe me. I am 17 and yes I have had about 3 boyfriends but they weren’t serious they were more relationshits than relationships and it feels like I have never had a boyfriend because of how bad they were! Love tends to come when we least expect it. So go out and have fun! Go to clubs and just try and find the man of your dreams. I am not saying to go out with the sole purpose of finding a man but maybe if you make a bit of effort a man just may come along. And no definitely don’t settle for any boy! It won’t last if you are 100% not in it. The right person will come along soon and that will be a much better feeling than someone who you have just settled for. And if all those previous people you have dated have been ashamed to show you off to their family then honestly they aren’t the right boy for you. And you’ll know when the right boy will come along. Don’t be so sad about the fact it didn’t last with them it just means better things are about to come along.
If those people are saying that to you it’s because they are horrible, judgmental nasty people. And if they were your friends they wouldn’t put you down like that and wouldn’t judge you on your looks because you are much more than that. So I really urge you to go and find some new friends ones who appreciate you. Everyone is beautiful in their own way and their personality makes them ugly if they treat people like that so don’t listen to them you are beautiful! And it’s about time you stood up for yourself.
Now I want you to turn all those negative things people say into positive things. So I want you to tell yourself that you are beautiful and that you will get a boyfriend. Look in the mirror and appreciate everything about you even your flaws because they make you who you are! Love yourself and treat yourself like you’d treat a best friend because you wouldn’t put them down so why put yourself down. Remember all the compliments someone has given you and remember them and tell them to yourself over and over again! Dress and do your hair however you want! Do it so it makes your comfortable and happy because the more comfortable you are the more happy you’ll be and the more self confidence you’ll have.
