Holding hands to balance out each other's temperatures
So...yeah. Just a thought. ;)
here's a short little snippet! ~ 1k for a little saturday morning writing exercise; i think i'll crosspost some prompt fics to ao3 in a little collected work on another day, but for now, here this is!
from this list; still accepting!
Intimacy, Jyn has come to learn, is becoming fluent in an entirely unique language, one built on moments and all contained within them — sighs, steps, shifts in posture, brushes of hands.
She's not sure when, exactly, becoming fluent in Cassian had turned so automatic, so nearly effortless, but for all that he doesn't say — still can't bring himself to sometimes — he fills in the spaces for her. There's a certain sigh that means he's irritated, a certain knit to his brow and set of his mouth that indicates disapproval, a certain wide vulnerability in his eyes that shows the fear he wouldn't admit beyond closed doors; there's also a certain subtle twitch at his mouth that always betrays his amusement, the way his genuine smiles crinkle at his eyes when those for a calculated purpose never do, the way his touch is always gentle and seeking, like he can’t believe it’s happening, even now.
And at the end of this particular day, when their respective tasks are done and they’re alone, she knows exactly what it means to see him hunched in on himself like he is, head tucked and gaze barely even flicking up from the floor toward her direction, both hands stuffed in the front pockets of his parka.
Jyn has been in enough shitholes across the galaxy to confidently say that Hoth is the worst one she’s encountered yet, and so far, she hasn’t found anyone to disagree with her; frankly, anyone who doesn’t think this planet is some kind of fucking torture device needs their head checked. But she knows it’s worse on Cassian than it is on most — one, because his clear hatred of the cold in general had been obvious to her within a short time of knowing him, and also two, because on the really cold days (which is, well, every fucking day on Echo Base), his back noticeably stiffens, his steps become short and tight, and no matter how hard he tries to hide it from her, she can’t miss the way his jaw is clenched.
It’s hard, looking at him like this, holding herself back and giving him his space until the right time, when she wants nothing more than to rush in and do something.
He’s been pacing their quarters for close to half an hour now, in those tight, slow, agonizing steps that broadcast his flaring pain, and neither has spoken a word. It’s not as if there’s been total silence — he’s let out at least two of those certain irritated sighs, and she can’t pretend that she hasn’t done the same at a few points — but he hasn’t initiated a conversation, and she hasn’t pushed it. Patience isn’t as easy as the language she’s come to learn from watching him, but for Cassian, she tries.
(They both try, in their own ways. When making herself as difficult as possible has helped her to survive on her own well more than once, it’s second nature to turn those weapons on argument rather than throw them aside, and she’s seen the way he sucks in a sharp breath through a clenched jaw and takes some time before finding his words for her in return. They’re not perfect — they’ve both had their fair share of giving into baser, worse tendencies in ugly moments and saying things they regret — but they try. It’s what they can do.)
Even if it takes another hour, or more, waiting is the best thing that she can do for him now.
Fortunately, though, it isn’t another hour; it isn’t even another five minutes.
When he gets to the edge of the bunk on this round of pacing, Cassian suddenly stops moving completely. His hands are still in his pockets, he’s still hunched in on himself, but in a sidelong glance, Jyn can see that he’s regarding the bunk with the kind of intense, focused gaze that means he’s thinking. Truly considering. She keeps her distance, not intruding with words or otherwise just yet; it’s better, she knows, to let him come to a conclusion on his own, without any outside input from her or anything else.
After he exhales a long breath, he sinks down onto the mattress, slowly, painstakingly. He doesn’t do anything else, not even look at her, but the invitation he’s giving is clear.
Though a part of her is itching to rush across the room, she keeps her steps soft and quiet until she reaches the bunk, and slowly lowers herself onto it in much the same way that he had. He doesn’t jerk away from her presence, instead staying completely still, so Jyn takes that as a sign to move just a little closer, until their thighs are touching.
Beside her, his breaths are uneven, and the way he’s still holding his jaw tells her, maybe more than anything else, that nothing has improved.
If she can’t take away his pain, she thinks, she can at least do something to make the cold a little bit more fucking bearable — for him, for the both of them.
She knows exactly the kind of deflecting, minimizing bantha shit he'll say, so it's not worth wasting the time to even allow him to start. No, she shifts on the mattress, which creaks like it always does under the weight, and without warning, she tosses her glove off to the side and reaches for one of his hands still tucked into a pocket, wrapping hers around it tightly, firmly.
His fingers are ice cold when they first touch hers, but after a minute, she feels that begin to ebb.
"Better?" she ventures into the silence with an actual word for the first time, shifting only just enough to get a better look at him.
Cassian still doesn't quite meet her eyes, but he nods, so she'll consider that a victory.
Leaning in to press a gentle kiss to his forehead, she lingers, letting him take her warmth through more than just her hand; it's what he'll never ask for, but she'll always give without question or hesitation all the same. "Good."
Your tags on my post about Prospect made me laugh. I also do not have a Google Drive (though not including that movie on that non-existent drive — I was lucky to get a DVD). Just making sure all options are known because I really want people to see it! 😉
Oh for sure! I also have a physical copy (I got the 4k ultra hd collectors edition from Vinegar Syndrome a couple years ago) but the thing is. I don't. have a bluray player . so i have My Own Copy if you catch my drift lmao
But yeah tbh I didn't even realize it had gotten taken off netflix which shows how in the loop I am 😭 but honestly you're doing the lords work bc everyone on earth should see that movie. I forced my dad to watch it at one point. like. it's so good. the score makes me Feel Things
i love this gif. thank you so much for sending it over and thinking of me (sorry it took me a while to get back to you - I was watching the GG ceremony!)
He always just looks like he's having such a good time when he's being himself and that's fantastic.
🤔 Are there any new characters you want to write about?
No plans for new characters in terms of Pedro Characters. I feel like I’ve written for the ones I’m really drawn to already.
🥵 Any plans to write steamy or spicy content this year?
Not really sure. I feel like I put a lot of pressure on myself to write it and it kinda of just falls flat here. Maybe I’m just not a smut writer. I’ll see where the year takes me in terms of steamy or spicy stuff.
