#alma bonnet

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

Happy Father’s Day to Stede “absent father” Bonnet

[five-very-happy-years]

For her 14th birthday Alma asks to dye her hair.

Ed drives her to the appointment at the salon.

Alma comes home with bright bubblegum pink hair as expected. Less expected are the matching pink strands framing Ed’s face.

For 15 they choose blue, 16 is purple, for 17 they go green, 18 is red.

At 19, when Alma’s away at college, they facetime as she applies a box of orange dye in the dorm bathroom while Stede carefully paints dye into Ed’s slut strands in the middle of their kitchen.

Before they wrap up the call Ed takes the brush and gives Stede a little streak of orange too.

~This idea brought to you by the beautiful transfem person with long pink hair I saw on the subway last night 💖~

[crimson-and-clover-1717]

This little flashback scene from the Pilot continues to haunt me.

Stede’s separated from his family physically reflecting his feelings of isolation, but I also think there’s a further psychological theme here. It’s a play within a play, and Stede is the audience. He’s watching a version of childhood which he never received.

Mary is a nurturing mother. She is interested in her children’s opinions. She asks questions, listens to their answers, and validates their responses. Children’s worlds are different to adults’, so discussing a favourite horse might seem trivial, but to a child it’s important, pitched at their level. Mary understands this and engages appropriately.

Alma’s response is a lovely one. She likes Halifax best because he’s ‘very pretty and very fast’.

Mary validates Alma’s response, but Stede doesn’t or can’t do this. It’s not that a parent shouldn’t offer their opinion here on a favourite animal, but it’s how Stede does it. He interjects in a way that interrupts Mary and almost overrides Alma’s answer. In fact, the way he just shouts out, is more in keeping with how Louis might respond, agewise.

I think there’s two things going on here. Stede never had this kind of parenting, it’s never been modelled to him. No one ever sat around a dinner table when he was a boy and asked him his favourite animals. Nobody asked Stede his opinion on anything. So when he sees his own children being nurtured, the broken child within him jumps in awkwardly with his own response. It’s an arrested development as well as possibly being linked to neurodivergence.

The second interesting thing is his answer. Stede perceives himself not to possess the qualities of being ‘pretty’ (good-looking) or ‘fast’ (athletic), but I think he knows he is ‘kind’, or has the potential to be. And so his favourite animal displays those qualities or is projected to have them. It’s an attempt at self-validation. But further, it’s what Stede is looking for too. He is yearning for kindness in life. His blurting out is a cry for help. And so a fun conversation becomes all about Stede’s trauma.

The family stare at him, not so much because of the answer, but because it is such a gut response, out of sync with the tone and power dynamics of the conversation, with Stede aligning with the children. Stede, as many broken people do, has moved the conversation away from his own children and onto himself and his unmet needs. Not because he’s selfish, but because he’s hurting and traumatised.

Mary doesn’t know what to do; so after a stare of contempt and confusion, she ignores Stede, and redirects back to the children with a conversation about favourite pigs.

And Stede’s just left hanging. A still broken child. A stranger in his own life.

Link to how Stede wins at life in the end

[41protons]

Alma and Izzy’s Sword-Fighting Lesson

They’re having fun my liege, I swear. Pay no attention that one of them is a blood-thirsty pirate and the other one is a tweenage girl

[kiwistede]

OFMDWEEK2023 - Day 3: Recurrent themes/symbols - The Petrified Orange -

[smudgeandfrank]

Mary, Alma, and Louis kitties are a happy lil’ fluffy family (without Stede kitty present)! 💖🐈‍⬛✨ The kittens have adjusted to their father’s absence far better than expected, and Mary cat has started her painting career! She knocks over paint and walks through it. 🎨🐈‍⬛✨

[celluloidbroomcloset]

Stede Bonnet, absolutely wracked with guilt: I’m such a bad father. My kids are probably so fucked up.

Stede Bonnet’s kids: Happy, thriving, wealthy, safe, living in a loving household, loved by three parents, would be adored by Uncle Edward.

The fandom: Obviously Stede is a bad father.

[beansprean]

[ID: 1. Mary Bonnet is painting at her easel in a sunny studio while her daughter Alma crouches on the floor in front of her wearing a blouse and trousers. Alma calls, "Here, Stede!" and a fluffy light tabby cat comes trotting into her outstretched arms. Mary looks around her easel with a small smile, questioning "Stede?" 2. Alma stands up with the cat cradled in her arms and replies with a smile "I named him after Father because he's stupid and runs away if you let him outside." The cat, tongue out and green eyes pointing in opposite directions, certainly looks stupid. In the foreground, Mary's smile turns a little strained as she replies "Oh.." uncertainly. /end ID]

For the July #AsACrew Challenge Day 19: Cat

5th graders are so brutal tbh