there’s no devil on one shoulder and angel on the other they’re both kevin telling you to lock tf in

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there’s no devil on one shoulder and angel on the other they’re both kevin telling you to lock tf in
I think Epitaph Andrew would eventually end up following in the same footsteps Pastor did tbh, possibly with an even worse mental break.
ONCE outfits tend to be bittersweet in a lot of ways, having one problem fixed while ultimately also going no, this does not fix their fatal flaw, just doesn't set them on a path which leads them towards a murder manor. Epitaph only has the immediate problem taken care of. His grave is spoken for when he dies, and that alleviates the need of needing to do backbreaking work and body snatching to 'earn' his place in heaven (Which also allows him into the community he's ostracized from).
Pastor is much the same. They've got everything core Andrew could ask for. A leadership position and influence in their community, no need to do any hard labor, none of the same scars he bears. It's theoretically everything Andrew wanted, and everything Epitaph achieved in being accepted into the Laz, but it still wasn't enough. Pastor still killed their uncle out of a spiteful rage, and killed Zinaida too out of paranoia and fear of exposure. Epitaph won't be able to escape their past self, or even their Current Self, no matter how much they try to distance from it.
It was never about entering heaven, or even about earning acceptance (though those things are Heavily ingrained in Andrew's mind as one and the same). Andrew's ultimate goal is becoming something which *isn't* him, larger than himself so he can forge a new identity. Become someone who is 'real' and 'human'.
Which he's never, ever, going to be able to achieve.
when andrew decides to pick up reading to pass the time on roadies in the pro leagues, that man is not reaching for litfic or ya. the first book he picks up is pride and prejudice and zombies
Oh my god.
“maybe my god isn’t an omnibenevolent god, but an omnimalevolent god who has a hyperfixation on making me suffer daily”
YOU
i love you
y’all Andrew is teaching another class in the summer should I take it??