#angt

[rpmusings-galore]

i did everything for you

gave you everything

sacrificed so much

i ran myself ragged for your sake

only to be met with your quiet and cruel indifference

you don't love me

you love what i do for you

[homohair]

(@iloveoda) THIS IS THE TIKTOK I CRIED OVER

KAAUAUAUAHAH WHYYY *sobs, vomits, crys, balls eyes out, curls into a ball* (Video not mine! Belongs to rightful owner: @wtfdunkys

Bonus funny thing to cheer you up:

[287aus]

#yeonbin ੈ♡‬༉ ・ jealousy, love confessions (1.6k)

yeonjun isn’t giving soobin the reaction he wants. he wants to be chased after. wants an ounce of his attention. but what yeonjun says leaves soobin more confused than ever.

or: where yeonjun says, “like i care, do whatever you want. go out all you want. at the end of the day, you’ll come back to me. and when you do, i’ll make sure you never forget why it’s me. always me in the very end.”

# semi toxic, semi idiots in love, semi crack

There’s an eerie silence between them, an unsettling thickness that makes Yeonjun feel lightyears away. Soobin always has doubts—not anything to do with Yeonjun directly, but himself. If he makes one wrong move with Yeonjun, that could be it. It’s not long until he’s bound to do something that will make them grow sour towards each other. They’re long past the phase of getting to know each other, but they aren’t exclusive either. It seems easy for Yeonjun to leave without reason. It is what Soobin fears for most.

So the heaviness? Maybe it’s just all in his head. He hasn’t done anything wrong—not that he knows of. It must truly mean there is nothing wrong. And yet…he feels it. Still feels it. It’s not in his head is it?

“Yeonjun?”

Yeonjun hums but the glow of his phone screen still reflects on his entire face. He doesn’t spare any of his attention towards Soobin.

Soobin decides to shift, giving them room on the couch until he’s bumping against the arm rest.

“Do you not want to spend time with me?” he says when Yeonjun doesn’t acknowledge their distance.

With a small sigh, Yeonjun pockets his phone into his lap and finally gives Soobin the eye contact he’s been longing for since he first stepped foot into the apartment. Yes. Yeonjun did not spare a glance at Soobin the entire visit. He simply kissed Soobin’s cheek and gestured him in before closing the door. Soobin became a host for himself, grabbed his own glass of water and invited himself onto the couch and tuned into whatever Yeonjun was already watching.

“What are you talking about?” Yeonjun huffs, one leg crossing over the other as he seems to shift uncomfortably.

“I don’t—you…I don’t really understand what we’re doing anymore.” It’s Soobin’s fears speaking for him. He’s been walking on eggshells for weeks. In the middle of the dozens of street vendors, under the moon and stars, Soobin found him. Truly realized that he wanted Yeonjun more than he’s ever wanted anything in his entire life. Maybe since then, he’s been more vulnerable, voicing out his truths and worries around Yeonjun, more clingy, kissing every inch of Yeonjun’s face—just so fucking in love. Yeonjun must know, must want to break it to him easily. That he doesn’t feel the same way.

“Well what do you want to do, Soobin?” Yeonjun says, in a way that’s cold and snarky, like he wants this conversation to die out already.

Soobin ignores one question for another, “Why are you so busy these days?”

“Hardly busy.”

“Are you seeing other people?”

“Do you think I am? What if I am?”

It’s like he can hear it. The way his heart stops beating, followed with thorns in his throat. “Are you?”

“Am I?”

Soobin clenches his fists, simultaneously with the way he squints his eyes, refusing to let the prickles in his eyes turn into full grown tears. “Why can’t you answer normally? Stop beating around all of this. I’m already trying to talk to you clearly.”

“And if I said I am?”

“Then I’m going out,” Soobin argues while getting up, already pulling his jean jacket from the edge of the couch, flinging it over his shoulders as he punches his hands into the arm holes.

“Where could you possibly be going on a Friday night, at what…midnight?”

“Where would I go? Where do you think we met at this hour?” Soobin retorts snarkily. He doesn’t know what compels him to state such vile words—to spit lies. He hardly wants to be anywhere tonight but in Yeonjun’s arms. He does not want to go to their favorite vibrant bar where he met Yeonjun, without Yeonjun. He definitely does not want to hook up with anybody else. And somehow he still utters, “See someone else. Right?”

Yeonjun doesn’t even look at him, scoffs at his lap, “Like I care, do whatever you want.”

“Really,” Soobin says with a ginormous gulp. If it wasn’t clear to him earlier, now there’s nothing in between them. Soobin sees Yeonjun for all he is. He never meant anything to Yeonjun and it’s always been crystal clear.

Yeonjun finally gets up, circling the couch and stands before Soobin. Everything around them is drowned out, a thousand times more than moments ago. It’s just static noise and the dimness from the television. Yeonjun’s pointed eyebrow looks fierce as his nostrils flair with irritation. Soobin’s hands are clammy and he just wants to escape this darkness in exchange for an intimate crying session in his car.

“Yeah, go out all you want, you’ll come back to me. And when you do, I’ll make sure you never forget why it's me. Always me in the very end.”

Soobin takes a step back when Yeonjun advances a step. His hand invades the space in between Soobin’s nape and shoulder, palm resting firmly on his collarbone as the fingers pry into his back. “Go then.”

Soobin is frozen in place. Despite Yeonjun’s demands, he can’t utter a single action. Yeonjun always had this way about being unclear. He was never great at expressing himself, but it was the many reasons Soobin easily fell for him. It felt as if Yeonjun was a constant challenge that Soobin was working so hard to solve. Little by little, Soobin revealed Yeonjun’s interests, struggles, passions and stories. Soobin lived for unraveling Yeonjun this way. Sometimes it’s too much, but that’s what makes loving Yeonjun so, so worth it. What does he mean right now? Soobin still wants to find out. He is afraid he will always hurt himself by discovering parts of Yeonjun that he doesn’t need to know.

“So you want me to go?” Soobin breaths out quietly.

Yeonjun shrugs. “If you’re going to find someone that’s gone spend time with you, fine, goodluck. I doubt you’ll find anyone half as interesting as me. Probably wouldn’t fill you up the way I do.”

“Yeonjun—“

“He won’t know your body the way I do. Won’t touch you the way you need. Won’t know how you like it, how you deeply need it, baby. Not long until you come running back to me afterwards.”

“And if I don’t?”

Yeonjun tilts his head, eyes filled with concern despite the sick, mocking grin.

“What if this time…I don’t come back?”

“Then I was wrong. You aren’t meant to be mine.”

It’s different. He says it with sorrow. All the arrogance vanished, leaving Soobin to stare at a man with the same sullen eyes, minus his wicked smirk.

Soobin shoves Yeonjun’s hand off his body, stomping away because he doesn’t want to be anywhere near Yeonjun—one who keeps giving Soobin mixed signals. “Yeonjun for once, can you please, please tell me what you are feeling?”

“How do I make you stay, Soobin? I’m not sure.”

“Tonight? Just hold me…talk to me. I just want—“

“No. Forever. Always. What do I have to do to keep you?” Yeonjun is fixated on the ground, as if the carpet is more amusing than having an entire conversation with Soobin.

“I love you, Yeonjun but you’re always pulling back.”

“Me? You’re the one who’s started replying slower, canceling our dates, talking to other people. It’s best I keep my distance too, right? To see what I mean to you. I need to understand what I am to you.”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to do!” Soobin snaps, raising an accusatory hand, finger digging into Yeonjun’s chest. “I’ve been pulling away to see if you’d come after me. But you’re going off telling me to just fuck somebody else until I realize they aren’t you? What the fuck is that?”

Yeonjun laces his fingers around Soobin’s and gently brings it down. Soobin doesn’t try to pry away but he doesn’t link their fingers together either.

“Soobin…can you say that again?”

“What? Say what again, you’re—ugh!”

“Soobin, you love me?”

Soobin stares in complete confusion. “Yes. Yeah, I’m making a fool out of myself, aha. Yeah, I love you so much. But I suppose you want me to say that to a stranger’s face then expect me to come back and come on yours.”

“No, no…” Yeonjun near-cries. “Soobin, I seriously love you. I mean, I love you, too. I love you back! I’ve been dying here trying to figure out why or how we’ve grown apart.”

Soobin’s stomach erupts with this whirlwind of happiness, but he can’t help but remain frustrated at their stubbornness. “I shouldn’t play games with you. I see that. But you shouldn’t voluntarily pull away either.”

“Says the one who also tried to pull away as a test.”

“Says the one who told me to fuck someone else, even though they loved me, as a response to my test.”

Yeonjun looks cute again. Eyebrows furrowed and lips pouty in confusion. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

“You don’t either. I am always trying to decode you. I keep spending many of my days just trying to understand you. It’s infuriating. But somehow, it makes me love you so, so much.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. Forgive me?”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re lucky I confessed first. I really wouldn’t have come back, Yeonjun,” Soobin expresses deeply.

Yeonjun releases a heavy sigh before planting a tender kiss on Soobin's cheek. “Mine?”

“Of course, idiot. Now…will you do something to really make me stay?”

“Strip, then bend over the couch armrest,” Yeonjun says with a spank to Soobin’s ass. “Better be ready by the time I come back with some lube and a condom.”

“Make up sex, yay!”

“How about we pretend it’s still angry sex?”

Soobin perks up at, beyond eager to undress. “Yes!”

[littlegodzilla]

Hi everyone!! Yes, it's me again.

I'm here again with a new story, like I said in the masterlist post, I come with a story about John Rollins from Norman's movie Messengers 2: The Scarecrow.

I'm a little nervous because it's the first time I'm writing about John and more a mini-series like this, it's a little shorter than my previous Daryl mini-series "Your Name."

I apologize in advance if the story sounds strange or boring, the first few chapters are a bit of a set up for our man, but after that, I hope, the story is a bit more entertaining and interesting.

I'll make a little note at the end too to explain few things about the chapter.

I hope you'll like it.

Enjoy!

The Farmer Masterlist.

*************

The Farmer.

John Rollins(40)x FemReader(30).

Mini series. John POV.

Chapter 1.

Warnings in the whole story: Not wife, not children al least not like the film. Mentions of alcohol abuse. AA reunions. Domestic habits. Fluff. Smut.

Warnings: New beginings, mentions of past alcohol abuse. A.A reunions.

Words: 4000 aprox.

N/A: this film is from 2009 so Norman at that time was 40 years old, so John will be that age too.

N/A2: I'm not going to make a taglist for now, if you want me to add you to the story, let me know!

Summary: John left his life in the city just to start again.

**************

Part 1.

*********

John stops the van at the entrance to the house. His eyes squint due to the sun as he looks out of the car towards the house and the land that opens up before him. He sighs a long sigh before turning off the engine and getting out of the van. It's been a while, but he lived much of his childhood and youth on a similar farm with his parents, of course at that time he had to worry about a lot less things, but it couldn't be that hard.

It has been a long trip there, with tiredness he looks at the back of his car and feels some sorrow, all his life fits in a couple of suitcases and a sports bag, no doubt it is something sad if he stops to think about it, but he needed that. He needed to leave, to change of scenery, to give another sense to his life. To start from scratch.

He sold his house in the city, with that he could buy that old house next to the land and he still has something saved from his savings from his own work and an extra from the sale of the house, until he finds a job and to prepare the land.

"You're leaving?" His mother's voice sounded concerned when John went all the way home to tell them of his plans.

"I need to..."

"John, you know if you have any problems, we can give you a hand."

"It's nothing like that, but it all reminds me of... what I was before, I need a fresh start." He shrugged and his father nodded in understanding.

"Do you need us to help you with the move or something?"

"No, it's not necessary, I sold the house and they gave me a little extra for leaving the furniture there, so... I'll just take some clothes and the van, I need the car to load with everything I'm going to buy for the land..."

"Do you know if you have machinery there, if there is furniture in that house?"

"I don't know, Dad, I'm not worried now, really, I'll be fine." He scratched the back of his neck and shrugged.

"Okay, I'm sorry, I don't mean to pressure you, I'm just worried."

"I know." He nodded and hugged his mother warmly.

John grabs his bags from the van heading straight for the house, he pulls his keys out of his pocket and carefully opens it, the door creaks accompanied with his push to get in. The house is huge, he has to admit, a house divided into two floors, upstairs there are four bedrooms with a full bathroom, downstairs, linked all by wooden stairs, he has a living room, a dining room next to the kitchen, a guest room and a small bathroom, the porch surrounded the large part of the front of the house and in the kitchen he has a back door to the back garden. The land is large and he has a little sketch in his mind of how he wants to partition each space for his own consumption and sale. Next to the house is a barn where John hopes to find tools and some machinery to help him plow the land.

"This is huge..." He whispers leaving the bags with his clothes in the guest room, for the moment he will only use the first floor of the house.

He investigates a little, he is not in a hurry, the house in general is fine, it needs some repairs, but nothing exaggerated, nor too expensive, so he is calmer. He leaves the house walking straight to the barn. He opens the huge doors and sighs with relief, there is a tractor inside, also tools, somewhat old, even some rusty, but he doesn't care, he can work with the tractor for the moment.

"Alright buddy, tell me things about yourself." He talks to the vehicle opening the hood to make sure it's all right.

John has previously worked in a shop repairing cars and motorcycles, a tractor is a little more complicated, but he recognizes what he's doing, so he hopes he can make it work.

The engine roars, black smoke billows from the exhaust and John smiles in satisfaction as he wipes the oil from his hands with a handkerchief, old and years out of use it was a bit clogged, but finally it has come back to life. He stops the engine again and leaves the barn glancing at his watch, it's still early, maybe he could take the opportunity to do some shopping and investigate a little around town. He washes his hands at the kitchen faucet and is thankful that he has already been given the water and electricity for the house.

He drives to the nursery where he can buy everything he needs for his land, in addition to requesting the water supply so he can irrigate everything he starts to cultivate and take care of. He parks the van in the parking lot of the store looking around, it is a fairly large greenhouse, not only do they sell grain for planting or vegetables, they also have fruit trees, shrubs and ornamental trees, flowers and pots for gardens. An older man walks past him carrying a box and a long list of everything he wants to buy and John smiles, he must hurry or he will be left with nothing.

"Good morning." He greets as he enters the store and you lift your head from your papers. Your gazes connect and you smile kindly.

"Good morning, can I help you with anything?" you offer politely.

"I'm John Rollins, I've moved into the old Moonson family farm." He explains and you nod. "I'd like to know where I need to apply for irrigation water discharge and how the rates work for crops?"

"Of course." You smile again and introduce yourself as well, dig through some drawers and hand him a form. "Here, you have to fill this out for me for the water issue, we can manage it from here if that's okay with you and I'll go talk to my boss for a moment about the rates."

"Great, thanks." He takes the form and steps aside so as not to disturb the people shopping.

You leave it there going to your boss's office who is on the phone with some supplier, you wait a few minutes and when he looks at you, you move forward a few steps.

"Robert, a new customer has come in, he says he has bought the Moonson's farm and wants the discharge for irrigation water."

"Good, you know how it works, show him the irrigation schedule, explain how it works and make him a farmer's rate." He drafts you and you nod mentalizing it. "Does he come alone? Wife? Children?"

"I-I didn't notice..." You stammer as you haven't noticed if he's wearing a ring or not.

"I hope so, for if he's alone we won't have much benefit. Remember him to give you a bank account, no paying in cash."

His words surprise you, you never thought your boss saw people as mere numbers. You apologize to him and leave him to his business to go back to the store. John has finished filling out the paperwork and you gesture for him to join you at the side of the counter.

"Okay, so this is the watering schedule." You explain showing him the papers and taking the form. "We can give you water on Tuesdays and Fridays...you don't need to turn on the water every day if you don't need it, the rate doesn't vary..." You explain and he nods.

"Okay, no problem, I have a raft with which I can dose the water."

"Perfect, I see it's not the first time." You joke and he smiles.

"My parents had a farm, I helped harvest, but I never worried about...well, the paperwork."

"I understand." You smile again and write down on the side of the form some numbers. "Are you going to work the land for consumption or...?"

"For both, I don't have anything prepared yet, but I wanted to get everything ready for when I started moving everything." You nod. "I want to put some corn, fruit tree and for my consumption a vegetable garden with vegetables. From what I make from the corn and fruit I'd like to be able to sell some things."

"Okay, in that case we'll make you a farmer's rate, you'll get a discount for trees you buy and if you want to sell your harvest here we'll give you a percentage of the profit."

"Great, sounds good, I hope I don't kill it all on the first day." He jokes and you let out a gentle chuckle.

"Don't worry, if you need help, near your farm is the Greene's, Hershel is a very kind man and I'm sure he could let his worker Jimmy help you with the field." You offer and John smiles gratefully. "Well, on the other hand I would need a bank account... the other stuff there is no problem paying cash when you buy it, but the water fee should be by bank transfer."

"I understand, I can give you my details tomorrow, it's all new and I don't have it here..."

"No problem, you can take the form home and bring it to me tomorrow, it's Wednesday, so if you bring it to me tomorrow, by Friday you could already have water if you need it." You explain and John nods. "Anyway if you should have any problems and need water outside of your days, you call us and we give notice to whoever is on that day with the water and then call you back so you can use it."

"Alright, I'll keep that in mind." He feels a little relief that things don't seem too complicated, at least at first. "One more thing, it's not about the lands..."

"Sure, tell me about it." You look at him worriedly.

"Do you know where I can find an A.A. group?" he asks you in a whisper and you're surprised for a second, but then bite your lip hesitantly.

"I think there are meetings like that at city hall...you can ask there about schedules, s-sorry, I don't know much else."

"No, no, that's okay, the city hall?" He insists and you nod. "Okay, I'll stop by there now, thank you very much."

"Take it easy, and welcome Mr. Rollins."

John looks at you for a second, but then nods goodbye and walks out of the greencenter with the papers in his hands. He's been checking the place out while he's been waiting for you and has discovered some things that look interesting to him, he's looking forward to getting the soil ready and getting everything ready to start growing. He sits in the van and his heart skips a beat when his phone starts ringing. He rolls his eyes as he reads the name on the screen and picks up.

"I'm fine..." He greets squeezing the bridge of his nose.

"I know, but you haven't called me, you told me you'd call me as soon as you got here." Another man's voice slips through the new farmer's ear.

"I just got here a little while ago." He lies biting his lip. "I've been dropping off the bags at home and...some things."

"You're getting the farm ready already?"

"Sort of, I've fixed the old tractor and just got out of the garden house, discharged for irrigation water, well, I'm on it..." He explains and starts the truck pulling out of the parking lot.

"What about the meeting, do you know anything about that?"

"I'm on it too, I asked a girl who works at the garden center and she told me to go over to city hall." He says again and hears a murmur on the other end. "I'm fine, Mark." He shrugs even though he knows the other man can't see him. "I'm just taking it easy, that's all."

"I know you need your time, John, don't get me wrong, but you need those meetings."

"I know, I'm on my way there, okay? But I needed to do this first, I'm... I'm happy about this." He hones in and hears the man sigh.

"Call me, okay? With anything, you know I'm always here." Mark says again. "If you find another sponsor..."

"I'll let you know, but I don't feel ready for that right now." He reassures him by parking near city hall.

John says goodbye and promises to call him when he leaves the first meeting and then enters the huge building. He looks around the room, there is a woman at the front desk who greets him with a friendly smile, which he responds to and walks over to her. The woman settles into the chair as John reaches her desk.

"Good morning." He greets and she reciprocates. "I wanted to know if you could direct me to the A.A. meeting times." The woman's gesture changes dramatically and John swallows feeling like an animal about to be bludgeoned. She reaches into her drawers for something and hands him a sheet of paper with the program times and days. "Thank you very much." He waves goodbye walking away

"Why do they always have to be the best looking ones?" He hears her say before the door closes behind her back.

John goes back to the farm to finish filling out the form you gave him earlier at the garden center. He has to look up the number of his new bank account, even that has changed, when the day came to buy the house, after paying the Moonson sons he went to the bank and opened an account right there to deposit what he had left over from the purchase then he had put the bank book in the glove compartment of the car and had almost forgotten about it. Biting the cap of the pen, he writes the numbers in the corresponding boxes and looks at the form several times. There is a small box marked 'remarks' and John jots down a couple of things. He takes a folder out of one of the suitcases and keeps the form there and leaves it on the table, first thing tomorrow morning he will go back to the nursery to get it all sorted out.

His eyes travel to the A.A. program, he picks it up and reads it several times, there are different meetings almost every day, for the moment John is not tied to a particular schedule, so he can come whenever he needs to, that evening, at six o'clock there is a meeting, so he writes it down in his head and gets up from the sofa. He has to eat something, it's almost time.

*******

He leaves the van in front of the supermarket and when he enters the store the stares fall on him. He gets goose bumps, he knows he will end up getting used to it, after all he is new in town and everyone knows it.

He's not a master chef, but he buys enough to get by for a few days, the good thing about being just him is that if he burns something, he can't complain. A small smile tugs at his mouth at his own thoughts before he drops a tray of meat into the cart he pushes absentmindedly through the aisles of the supermarket.

"Jimmy's bringing a friend to the farm this afternoon, do you want to come?" John hears a voice and stops his cart in time before he crashes.

"Oh, sorry." You apologize, you were talking to Beth and you weren't even coming where you were going. Realizing who it is, you smile. "Hello, Mr. Rollins."

"Please, John it's okay, I'm not that old and I don't think we have much of an age difference." He jokes and you laugh with a nod. Beth looks at you curiously.

"Excuse me, Beth this is John Rollins, he's the one who bought the Moonson farm. John, this is Beth Greene, I told you about her farm this morning." You remind him and he nods.

"Right, it's a pleasure." He smiles kindly and shakes hands with the young blonde who seems to blush.

"Have you settled in at the farm yet?" you ask curiously.

"I'm on it, yes, I didn't think the house would be so big when I came to buy it, but it's fine, it's all very quiet."

"I'm sure you and your wife will soon fill it up and your children will enjoy the land." Dares Beth to say, you give her a sidelong glance as you watch the man's countenance change.

"Yeah, sure, someday." He smiles forcedly. "For the time being I might get a dog or two to keep me company." He tries to take the tension out of the moment and you both let out a chuckle.

"They're good company too." You joke at the same time and wave goodbye. "Let's keep shopping or your dad will send Jimmy after us. See you John." You wave goodbye and he waves his hand.

"See ya." He waves goodbye to go on with his own shopping, changing aisles.

"He's pretty cute, don't you think?" Beth's voice reaches his ears, but not your response, a small amused smile forms on his mouth as he continues to push his cart. His finger caresses his ring finger and he averts his gaze to his own hand.

He's not married, he tried, but things didn't turn out well. John is not stupid, he knows it didn't go well because of his problem, everything started to twist and fall apart, he could have tried later, when the program saved his life, but no one waits for so long and he didn't ask for it either, so that was also one of the reasons he needed to get away from everything he knew. Now, after several years alone, he is not worried about his singleness, he is at peace with himself and is still learning to value himself so he is in no hurry to find someone.

*****

He's nervous, it's like the first time he stepped foot in a meeting, only now he can stand and his breath and clothes don't smell of cheap beer and pee. He sits in one of the chairs when the doors open and shakes his leg nervously as he fiddles with his hands. The group consists of about fifteen people, both women and men greet and talk to each other, that place is safe for everyone and it is clear that many have been going to these meetings for a long time. An older man of more than sixty years old gets on the lectern and speaks for everyone, he makes a short introduction explaining how it all works, greets the usual people and mentions the newcomers, then he tells some things about himself and gives way to other companions. John listens to each story curiously, chewing his inner cheek, debating on whether or not he needs to come up himself.

"What if the new guy shows up, are you ready, son?" The man's voice brings him out of his thoughts and he hesitates for a second, but finally nods rising from his chair.

Apparently they've decided for him.

He walks over to the lectern and stares at the people, no one is looking at him with suspicion and disapproval, there is curiosity and confusion, but they are not judgmental stares, everyone there is guilty of something, so everyone is open minded, or trying to be. John clears his throat before speaking.

"Hi, I'm John and I'm an alcoholic." He introduces himself and everyone greets him. "I...well as you all may know, I'm new here; not only to the program, but to the town as well. I bought Moonson Farm and I'm trying to start from scratch." He recounts and bites his lip again. "As I was listening to your stories I was debating whether I should say something or wait for another day, but I guess thinking like that is what brought me here, thinking that tomorrow would all work out better than yesterday and finding out that tomorrow was no better option if nothing is done to try..." He whispers and sees some people nod their heads in understanding. "I didn't know whether to speak because... I'm calm, I'm starting a new life, after five years sober I've decided I need this, it's a big step and I'm fine, I feel calm." Some applaud and congratulate him. "But I think that's what I'm afraid of; the calm, what will happen when I'm home alone, what will happen when my head starts to think too much and there's no one there to tell me what to do? I know I'm not a child, that I can decide and act for myself, but this disease..." He pauses for a second and sees that his fingers are scratching the wood of the lectern and realizes how nervous he is. "I'm afraid that this calm is the announcement of a storm that I myself won't be able to stop and everything will disappear..." He finally confesses and steps down from the lectern looking at the tips of his sneakers. He feels his chest going a mile a minute, but his men relax, his body is no longer so heavy, as if he has been freed from a burden.

After people say their goodbyes, John helps clear the room, setting up the chairs on one side of the room as he munches on a sandwich someone has prepared for the meeting. He almost feels as if nothing has changed, as if he's in a meeting with his usual buddies.

"Hello." He hears next to him and the older man, Hershel, looks at him with kind eyes. "So you've bought the old farm."

"That's right... I still have a lot to do, but I really hope it's not as hard as it looks." He jokes and the man hums.

"If you need help, my farm is a little down the road from yours, I can send some of my guys to help you." He offers.

"Thanks, but for the moment I want to try it alone."

"Of course, I didn't mean to offend you...if you ever need to talk, outside the program and outside the farm, I'd be happy to share you a cup of coffee."

"Thanks, Hershel, I'll keep that in mind."

John says goodbye to the group and leaves the building lighting a cigarette, it's the only drug he can afford, he's not a regular smoker but when the smoke sears his lungs he feels a little better, he savors it before letting it go out very slowly between his lips. He still feels his hands shaking a little as he picks up the phone and walks to the van. She only has to wait two rings until Mark picks up.

"I thought you were going to ignore me again." He waves him off and John rolls his eyes.

"I told you I'd call you after the meeting, since when are you so dramatic?"

"Since forever and I'm offended that you don't know it." He jokes and the two men snort. "How did it go?"

"Fine, I think, I'm still shaking." He hones in by putting his hands free and tossing his cigarette out the window. "I'm still a kid learning to walk..."

"Give yourself time, John, you've made great progress these past five years and change is always hard on us."

"I know, but I decided this change, that's supposed to make it easier."

"It's supposed to, but it's different for us." She tries to cheer him up a little. "How did it go?"

"Well, things don't change, I guess, but it's been easier than the first time, certainly." He hears Mark laugh on the other end of the line. "I've been offered help with the farm and to have a coffee and a chat, in case I need it."

"That sounds interesting, any girls?"

"What, no." A laugh escapes him. "Hershel, I think he's the oldest in the program. His farm isn't too far from my house." He explains and parks the truck as he pulls up.

"Well, that's good, always look for the oldest to give you the best advice."

"I already did that with you." He jokes. "I told you I don't plan on getting someone else at the moment, if I can call you when I have a crisis..."

"You know I'm always available, John, you don't have to ask."

"Thanks Mark."

He says goodbye to the other man on the phone and gets out of the van. As he opens the door to the house he feels a cold, empty silence greet him, it's still too much for him alone, but he really hopes he can get used to it soon and feel it like home. He spends a couple more hours hanging around the house, he calls his parents to keep them quiet, he is forty years old, but in a way he is also part of the program, his father doesn't ask for too many details, but his mother gives him a lengthy interrogation that leaves him mentally exhausted. Promising to send them some photos of the farm, he bids them both farewell and settles down on the sofa.

His cigarette lights up as he prepares dinner, after all the travel and movement during the day his body feels heavy as a slab. He leaves the empty plate in the kitchen sink, throws the cigarette butt in the ashtray and closes his eyes, settling into the sofa. He doesn't know at what point his brain stops working at full speed and he finally falls asleep.

**

To be Continued...

***

If you've made it this far, I'm glad and hope you liked it!

I decided to include John in an A A meeting because in the movie they give small details that he had problems with alcohol some time ago, they don't talk much about it but it caught my attention and well, I wanted to include it.

We will also see Mary and Lindsey but later on, as I said above that their relationship would be different.

Well I think it's all..

I hope you liked the chapter!

See you in the next stories and chapters!!

[emilycollins00]

Hey! I'm wondering if you can make a continuation of sakyo cheating on the reader if it isnt too much to ask for? Thank you for taking time out of your day to read this!

Sweetheart thank you for taking the time to write! 💕 I’ll be honest though, when I read your request I stared at it for a while. Never would I have thought anyone would want a continuation of the cheating prompt!

I had no clue if you might have asked for it because you wanted a happy ending. If so I apologize because honestly cheating, imaginary or not, is not remediable in my book, so… you guys got this. It was super interesting to write though!  So let’s see what guys think.

Part 1 here!

Sakyo cheating on reader- Part 2

-

‘Mankai company presents its Autumn troupe 3th performance: Ginji the wanderer. Get your ticket!’

You stared at the poster for a few seconds, not sure how your eyes had even distinguished him with such dim lights. To say you were surprised was an understatement.

You approached it slowly. He wasn’t wearing his glasses, but you could recognize those moles anywhere. You averted your eyes quickly, along with a pang in your stomach.

What was that about?

It hadn’t even been more than a year since you had found him cheating on you and he had already turned his life around so much? You were wondering if it was supposed to be some type of joke.

Theatre? Sakyo?

Never would have guessed it. He had always been so serious, always thinking about money and doing shady jobs.

But you had grown to love him.

Yeah, you scoffed out loud at your own thoughts, That ended well for me.

In a weird mood, you wandered around Veludo Way, hoping to entertain yourself with some window-shopping to take your mind off the news. Soon night fell, and you were just thinking of going back home when someone had the nerve to come up to you. “What’s with that sad face, you alone? Is this world crazy?”

You stopped and sighed, glancing at the drunk old man as people turned to the interaction. He kept walking and talking to you and you cursed your luck today.

“I’m okay sir, if you’ll excuse me.”

“Don’t lie to me! You deserve much more,” he laughed drowsy, his hand moving towards yours “I could help-“

You pushed him. The whispers that followed were obvious, people stopping now, listening. Why was no one saying anything? “Don’t touch me.” 

“What... did you say?” the drunkard narrowed his eyes, obviously offended. He raised his hand as if to slap you, but his hand never came.

“Leave them alone.”

Dammit.

You could recognize Sakyo’s voice anywhere.

Looking up, the blond was grasping his wrist in a tight hold “I’m going to let go of your hand the same way I hope you do of my sight.” he growled, gaze unwavering.

The man frowned. “Y-you... you think you are something? I bet-”

His expression grew colder. “You have no idea what I’m capable of”

Swinging his arm hastily, the old man scanned the rest of the street and finally left. Many people turned away mumbling after the situation had been handled.

“…People might have thought it was a street act,” was the first thing he said to you. “There are many around this area”

“I could have handled that.”

“I was not-”

“Not going to thank you.”

You wanted to turn away from him. You weren’t prepared. This was more than an ex cheating on you. You had genuinely loved Sakyo, and from the way he had acted you thought he was going to be in your future.

His shocked face and that woman’s in his sheets appeared again in your head.

“Y/N,” he called you out of your thoughts. “Please- I’d like to talk. At least once, if you have time” 

...Stupid bastard knew you didn’t like to make scenes in such crowded places.

Even though you were sure you would get angry at yourself later, you followed him wordlessly to a close bar. You both sat down at the counter as he ordered two drinks to the bartender. An uncomfortable silence made his way between you two.

“You started to do theatre,” you noticed him staring at you the moment you made the comment. “Saw the poster a few blocks away, didn’t know you liked acting.”

“…It wasn’t something I liked to talk about at that time.”

“But now you are a lead?”

He sighed. “Many things happened over this year.”

You hummed. The waiter appeared with your drinks and you grabbed yours, entertaining yourself with its decorations “I’m sure you’ll do fine. You showed me how good at acting you were”

Sakyo frowned, looking at you intently. “I wanted to apologize in person at least once.”

“Okay,” you stated back plainly. “I can’t forgive you.”

The blond waited for you to at least make contact with him. Minutes passed, and he finally turned to his drink, taking a sip.

As you had predicted, every bone in your body was screaming at you to leave, to stop drinking with that excuse of a man. You remembered the first time you saw his subtle smile. How warm it made you feel. How he was stern but at the same time the most caring person you had seen.

Now, all of those memories brought nothing but pain.

“I really loved you, you know.” you finally spoke, screwing being the bigger person. You noticed him tensing at those words “Now I can’t look at you without having the need to punch your face.”

“I know.”

“It was the most coward, disgusting and unbelievable thing I’ve ever seen in my life”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t know, Sakyo.” you felt your heart rate rising, but urged it to calm down. “Why kiss me and tell me you loved me when you had someone else warming up your bed?”

“I’m sorry Y/N,” the man looked anguished. “There were-”

“What. What can you possibly have to say to me now?”

“I want you to allow me to try again,” his violet eyes bore right into your own, determined and sure of his previous statement. Had he hit his head?

He paused, sighing again as he pushed his glasses up, looking at his own drink. “I was having many personal conflicts at the time... and got drunk at that work party. I… it didn’t come to anything more than that damn night.”

You huffed and took a sip, not giving credit to what you were hearing. Since you found him in the apartment with that person in his bed, you only got calls and messages but never had you heard about that.

“I don’t care at this point,” you shook your head. “I can’t believe how selfish you are.” 

“I know.”

“Stop saying that.” 

“Y/N, I love you,” Sakyo stressed, but you wanted nothing to do with him.

He had broken your heart enough. There was no way you would let him back in your life. No words, no excuses, absolutely nothing that the blond could say would make up for how terrible you felt for months. You felt a lump in your throat.

“…I’ve had enough.”

Sakyo called your name, but you hardened your expression before turning away.

Time had passed, and little by little, you had learned to smile and laugh again,  although the pain still appeared in bitter flashbacks. 

“I was having many personal conflicts at the time...”

If only he had confided in you, shared whatever burden he had been carrying, would it have been different?

No.

It didn’t matter anymore.

Overwhelmed at the thoughts running in your head, you made sure you had all your stuff before standing, “I have to go. It’s late.”

Sakyo followed your figure, clear pain written all over his face. “I’m sorry for hurting you, Y/N.”

“…Good luck with your acting, Sakyo.”

____________________________________________________

What just happened??? I don’t know. This was a wild ride. I’m so curious what everyone thinks about this

Have a wonderful day! 💕

[kings-out-of-pocket-hell]

Another pain with howzar

Angst- fallen captain

Howzar walked eleni syndila to the ship where her husband and daughter was waiting

He breathed slowly trying to relax

They got to the ship

"Thank you howzar"

He nodded slightly and saw the glint in one of the shiny bits of metal on the ship

He darted in front of the family feeling the bolt hit him

"MOM!"

He fell forward

And eleni fell backwards into her family the ship took off

Howzar coughed rolling onto his back watching the ship go

He gurgled slightly on his own blood

He heard foot steps blinking up at commander Crosshair

He gritted his teeth

"You are a traitor to the empire and must be dealt with"

Howzar tensed up and swing his leg with the last of his strength sending the sniper to the ground there was a hard thunk

He watched as he held the side of his head

Howzar gasped for air his skin going cold

And it went black

Cross blinked pulling his helmet off slowly putting a hand to the burn

He blinked a few times and looked at the body

He scrambled away from the fallen captain trying to breath

Tears started to fill his eyes

What has he done?

[teetkmost123]

so? I haven't updated in a while? but I got like... tests and assignments and shits... But!

I got a bunch of ideas, I promise I will do, like, at least five of it?

And you will get to know the titles and what it's about, well, kind of get to know what it's about.

here we go:

From my old unfinished work:

Red, black and blue. chapter 2. are almost done. mostly just Mari adjustment into the manor.

Marinette is on coffee, you should start running. chapter 2 is on the go. Mari and a classic fairytale lover Akuma.

It's went wrong. And now she gone. The communication between the bats and bug ain't good, but she'll make it. This one might take a while tho.

What can go wrong will go wrong I got to admit, my oldest story and I dunno what to do with it. Will take a long while.

My new series and sequels:

A choice, to forget. Some of the readers on ao3 been asking, don't worry hun, it's coming alright. A sequel you and I both been waiting.

your fault, my choice. Include the sequel of A choice, to forget. and many more angty stories.

Prince Timothy and his adventure. This one is an incoming Tim Drake-centric series, like the title, and just like good old memes about the princess!Tim. Ft Batfam, hero community, villain community, Janet Drake and many more.

the series currently included:

A story in the wood.

Moonlight over his highness.

I got five dragons in the Drake manor right now.

Adventure awaits.

Sleep through the days.

A healing song.

...A fairy found me, okay!?!

Oh no, I hate apples.

Magic is not my cup of tea. Still Tim-centric, but in a more magical Timothy life:

An Adam he! (Very original, you see)

The little door got left open. (Some of you might recognize it on ones of my prompts, very unoriginal)

I'm familiar with the Beldams. ( The sequel for TLDGLO)

Am I a witch? Yes. Just not one with a pointy hat.

I got issues with magical creatures.

Tim and weird-shit ain't mix well:

Truth serums and Red Robin never end well.

Fear-toxin is not very effective.

Magic turn Tim into what???

A weird toxin dose.

Lost of senses.

all are unfinished.

I kinda... not prioritized any of it yet so a lot are just left unfinished, can you please help me by telling me which you prefer to be finished first?

[threshasaurus-writes]

Love, Monsters & Mischief

Chapter 1: Taxi Troubles

When Doctor Doom abducts Hawkeye and Captain America, it sets off an unstoppable roller coaster of events for the Avengers. 

An impostor, unrequited love, power outages, arc reactor mishaps, super villain scheming, Hulk rampages, Deadpool tirades, wedding proposals, and a very unexpected new addition to the family all feature as the heroes do their best to weather the storm of Love, Monsters & Mischief!

(This is The Big One—our Marvel fic from back in the day, now lightly revised and ready for the world to read at last! The finished fic will be 90+ chapters (not a typo), with at least two chapters posted each week. ♥)

Rated Mature, will be at least 475k, Stony, Thorki, Hulkeye, Spideypool, Eventual DevilSpideyPool, Loki & Bruce Banner Friendship, Steve Rogers & Thor Friendship, Implied/Referenced Sex, Magical Mpreg, Pregnant Loki, Fluff and Angst, Domestic Avengers, Plot Twists, Friendship/Love, Emotional Baggage, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Feels, Everyone Is Gay, Steve And Tony Are Basically Peter’s Adopted Parents, Genderfluid Loki, Daniel Way Deadpool, Teen Peter Parker, Blood and Injury, Hurt Tony, Hurt Loki, Hurt Clint, Protective Thor, Protective Steve, Arc Reactor Issues, Norse Mythology Loki Lore, Guilty Tony, Guilty Loki, Angst Muffin Peter, Tired Bruce, Supervillains, Polyamory Negotiations, Marriage Proposal, Step-Sibling Incest, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Everyone Needs A Hug, Longfic

Chapter 1 is here on AO3!