Natasha: This line is reserved for emergencies only
Scott: No fucking shit! Do I sound like i’m ordering a pizza?!

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Natasha: This line is reserved for emergencies only
Scott: No fucking shit! Do I sound like i’m ordering a pizza?!
Scott: so you’re the one taking my daughter to prom
Prom date: yeah I-
Scott, whispering: if you hurt her, I will staple dead birds to your car
[Steve returns to the compound after a mission]
Scott: Captain America is back! Chest bump me!
Steve: You don’t wanna do this, man. It hurts you every time
Scott: No I know but I’m fired up! The adrenaline will carry me through!
Steve: [Chest bumps Scott]
Scott: [Slams into the floor]