summer had barely started before fishie began asking to go to the amusement park. it started over breakfast one morning when she mentioned that one of the girls in her class had gone the weekend before and ridden a roller coaster for the first time. by dinner she’d already asked three more times if she was finally tall enough for the bigger rides. after scrolling for a minute he smiled and said, “i think you’re probably tall enough for quite a few now.” the little girls eyes immediately lit up as she leaned over the table. “really?” she asked excitedly. anton nodded. “i think so.” you looked up from your plate and forced a smile before suggesting, “or we could spend the whole day playing carnival games.” fishie blinked at you before asking, “and never go on the rides?” you nodded, "exactly."
you hated roller coasters and anton assumed fishie probably would too. she was usually quiet and cautious. he’d assumed all of the excitement was just talk and she’d take one look at the giant coaster before deciding she’d rather stay safely on the ground with you. he was very wrong.
by the time you walked through the entrance that saturday morning, fishie was practically vibrating with excitement. you smiled along with her but every single time one of the giant roller coasters came into view your eyes instinctively drifted somewhere else. most people never would’ve noticed but anton always noticed the small things about you. he’d known about your fear of heights since you were dating. you’d never hidden it from him but it also wasn’t something you talked about very often. everyone else saw the loud, confident version of you who never seemed intimidated by anyone or anything. anton was one of the only people who knew that the moment the ground disappeared beneath your feet all of that confidence quickly disappeared with it.
the moment fishie spotted the coaster her entire face lit up. she grabbed anton’s hand without a second thought and tugged him toward the height requirement sign. excitement replaced every bit of her usual shyness. “appa,” she said eagerly, “i think i’m tall enough now.” the employee smiled as fishie stood as straight as she possibly could against the measuring stick, stretching every inch of herself. after checking twice the employee smiled and nodded. “you’re tall enough.” fishie’s eyes widened in disbelief before she looked back at the two of you. “really?” she asked. when the employee laughed and repeated, “really,” your daughter spun around so quickly she nearly lost her balance. “i can go!”
you stared at her for a long moment before slowly looking up at the roller coaster towering over the park. she turned toward you with the brightest smile on her face. “mama,” she said, “we can all ride together!” your smile froze almost instantly. “all?” you repeated weakly. the little girl nodded enthusiastically. “all three of us!” anton looked over at you the second those words left her mouth. your eyes had already continued wandering upward and followed the tracks higher and higher. he saw the tiny swallow and the slight tension in your shoulders. before you could even think of an excuse anton crouched down beside fishie and smiled. “how about you and i ride first?” he suggested gently. she tilted her head. “what about mama?” she asked. anton glanced back at you before answering, “she can take pictures of us.” fishie looked disappointed for all of two seconds before nodding. “okay!” she agreed happily, already looking toward the entrance. as she skipped a few steps ahead you looked at anton and quietly mouthed, “thank you.” he simply smiled back before mouthing, “of course.”
the line wasn’t terribly long but it was long enough for you to become increasingly anxious on behalf of both of them. while fishie bounced excitedly beside anton, asking how fast it went, you stood beside them behind the gate. every few moments his eyes drifted back toward you. you’d gotten noticeably quieter. your arms stayed folded tightly across your chest. every time the coaster roared overhead your shoulders tensed.
anton stepped closer to the fence where you stood. “you okay?” he asked softly. you let out a little laugh that didn’t quite sound convincing. “i’m not the one getting on that thing,” you replied, trying to joke your way through it. he smiled softly. “i know.” you nodded once. “i’ll be fine.” anton studied your face for another second before reaching over to gently squeeze your hand. “you don’t have to pretend. i know you like the back of my hand,” he reminded you quietly. you looked up at him for a second before your expression softened. “… i know.” he leaned down to kiss your forehead and gave your hand one more reassuring squeeze before following fishie toward their seats.
your own heart was racing harder than either of theirs. fishie looked completely unfazed but you were gripping the fence so tightly your knuckles had turned white. as the ride attendants motioned for them to board you couldn’t help calling out one last round of instructions. “remember to hold on,” you reminded fishie, who nodded enthusiastically. “don’t stand up,” you continued, earning another confident nod. “and don’t let go.” fishie giggled a little before reassuring you, “mama i know.” then you turned your attention toward anton. “and you.” he smiled knowingly. “what?” you narrowed your eyes. “watch her.” “i will," anton nodded, giving you a thumbs up. "don’t let anything happen to my daughter." “nothing’s going to happen," anton said. you opened your mouth to argue again but the ride had already started moving.
you watched the coaster slowly climb the first hill. your eyes never left the tiny blue seats carrying your husband and daughter higher and higher into the sky. every click of the chain lift seemed louder than the last. as the train reached the very top anton glanced over at fishie expecting to see nerves. instead she was smiling so hard her cheeks looked like they hurt. you immediately shut your eyes as the ride went down the first drop. you couldn’t watch it even standing safely on the ground. your stomach flipped the second you heard the screams echo across the park. your heart stopped. a few minutes later, when the ride rolled back into the station, you finally looked again.
fishie was laughing. the safety bars lifted and fishie was talking before she’d even climbed out of her seat. “appa did you feel that first drop? and then it went really fast around the corner! can we do it again?” anton couldn’t stop smiling at her excitement. “did you like it?” he asked, even though he already knew the answer. fishie looked at him like the question itself was silly, "i loved it.” “mama!” she called happily as she hurried over to you. you couldn’t help smiling at her excitement, "did you have fun?” you asked. fishie nodded, “it was awesome!” you blinked. “awesome?” she nodded so enthusiastically her ponytail bounced, “it was the best ride ever!”
you slowly turned toward anton in complete disbelief, “she enjoyed that?” you asked, gesturing toward the coaster behind him. he laughed quietly, “a lot.” before you could even process that answer fishie was already pointing toward an even taller ride on the other side of the park. “i think i’m tall enough for that one too,” she said. you stared at the ride, then at your daughter, before finally looking back at your husband. “she’s definitely your kid,” you declared. he raised an eyebrow. “mine?” you nodded firmly, "she clearly didn’t get all this from me.” anton looked down at fishie who was still happily explaining which loop had been her favorite. “maybe not,” he admitted with a smile.
fishie slipped her little hand into yours. “it’s okay mama,” she said sweetly. “you don’t have to ride them.” your heart melted instantly. you bent down to kiss the top of her head before smiling at her, "thank goodness.” fishie smiled right back before looking over at anton. “appa,” she called out, “can we go again?” you laughed before anton even had the chance to answer. fishie tugged impatiently on his hand. “come on, appa,” she urged. he looked over his shoulder at you with an apologetic smile. you waved them off with a grin, "have fun you watched the two of them disappear into the line together, your quiet little girl practically dragging her father toward another roller coaster without a hint of hesitation.