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Halt: I'm a reverse necromancer. Arald: Isn't that just killing people? Halt: Ah, technicality.

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*The gang is learning CPR on a test dummy* Gilan: So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing? Will: No, Gilan. They are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs. Gilan: No, that’s not part of it— Will: Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what kind of quality of life do we have there? Arald: I would want to live with no legs. Will: How about no arms? Gilan: All right, well, lets get back to it. ‘Cause you’re losing him. Will: *pumps frantically* Gilan: Okay, too fast. Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of a 100 beats per minute. Will: Okay, that’s uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour? Crowley: How’s that gonna help you? Will: I will divide and then count to it. Crowley: Right. Gilan: Okay. Well, a good trick is to pump to the tune of ‘Staying Alive’ by the Bee Gees. Do you know that song? Will: Yes, yes I do. I love that song. *clears throat, begins to sing* First I was afraid, I was petrified.

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ranger’s apprentice characters as customers i have served

[endearingly, pt. 2/2]

HALT I am terrified to serve. He looks aggressive and high-maintenance. I try to plan stuff in such a manner that I don’t have to serve him but my boss doesn’t fall for it and leaves it up to me regardless. Turns out, he is really nice, very patient and kind and tips well.

CROWLEY has “experience in serving” and decides to “help me” by stacking the plates etc. I take them, thank him, and turn around to try and stack them differently on my card so I can work more efficiently. He doesn’t notice. PAULINE does. I think she told Crowley off, because he doesn’t do it during the next course. Still, he’s extremely helpful (genuinely this time), because he tells everyone to hand me the stuff I can’t reach. It really does make everything easier for me.

Sometimes, PAULINE and SANDRA will come together, usually straight from work. Sandra was there during my first day already, like literally the first day, I hadn’t even been hired yet and my boss introduced me to her as “the new employee”. Big stress but she’s literally the sweetest. It’s very busy one night, so I decide not to prioritise them because at least they won’t yell at me. I apologise constantly for taking so long but they don’t mind, they’re really kind and I get them some extra drinks. Sandra once crocheted me a heart keychain. Pauline talks with me about European politics.

ARALD has trouble picking a topping for his icecream dessert. Finally, he picks one. I put the order in and charge him for the one topping. I ask my boss to give him the other topping as well. When I serve him his dessert, he looks like the happiest man in the world.

BERRIGAN and FARRELL come together occasionally. They don’t interact much with me - obviously this is just their standard night out with good food and good company. They gossip and have lots of fun without disturbing other guests.

PRITCHARD is also a regular. He’s old, though, not very mobile anymore and very forgetful. He knows me and remembers me but is constantly surprised I can “anticipate” his order (he orders the same thing each week). We have the exact same conversation each week, but it’s okay because he’s also always equally excited. When I serve him his second drink and go get his food, he raises his glass at me and tells me he’ll “toasts to [me]”. When I went out at the restaurant with own family, I went to say hi to him. He didn’t remember me. I haven’t seen him in a few weeks and just hope he’s okay.

DAVID and DUNCAN called to make a reservation for late at night and apparently asked my boss if I was working. She says yes, but it’s a quiet night and I’ve had a long day before work, so I’ll probably be gone by the time they come. So they decide to come earlier???? We talk for a few minutes. I remember their faces obviously but that’s about it. I honestly even forgot they knew my name. One of them says “Rosalie knows what we like, we don’t need to order it” and so I panic because I’m tired and a little forgetful sometimes and absolutely do not know what they like. The other laughs and still repeats the order thank goodness, my boss helps me remember the rest when I send the order to the kitchen. They make some bad server’s jokes but it’s in good faith so I don’t mind. They remember my whole ordeal with getting a driver’s licence and ask how that’s been going. I still leave early but not without going back in to tell them goodbye.