Sakura: Naruto learned how to fold origami penguins from Sasuke the other day. I told him, “I feel a little bad for the penguins, it’s hot here”, and the next day he put them in the fridge.

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@fandom--incorrect--quotes
Sakura: Naruto learned how to fold origami penguins from Sasuke the other day. I told him, “I feel a little bad for the penguins, it’s hot here”, and the next day he put them in the fridge.
Naruto, writing in a letter: "I'm going to kick.. your… ass." Naruto: THERE. Now send it. Shikamaru: Dude, your handwriting's terrible, are you sure you want to- Naruto: JUST DO IT! later Suigetsu: So what does it say? Sasuke, reading the letter: He says he’s going to "lick my…." Suigetsu: Sasuke: Suigetsu: Gross-
Alyss: So what are your political beliefs? Will, awkwardly trying to impress her: Well, I think Pikachu would be a lot more powerful if he had a gun.
Luffy: Didn't you die?! Sabo: That was years ago, dude. Things change.
Ace: How are we supposed to put a tracker the size of a penny on Luffy without him noticing? Sabo: Hey, Luffy, I bet you 5 bucks that you can't swallow this penny. Luffy: takes and swallows tracker Pay up, loser. Ace: …
Horace, to Halt: When was the last time you let someone hug you? Halt: thinking Halt: The fight with Thorgan. Will: Thorgan…? Halt: Yeah. I almost died and it really freaked Crowley out so I let him hug me.
Marcille: so what’s for d-
Laios, already grabbing the nearest monster:
Me every couple of months when I remember I have a blog where people read my dumbass posts (I love you all)
Kid Ace, laying in bed: Get out of my room. Kid Luffy, standing just outside of the door frame: I’m not in your room.
Itadori: Made you all playlists! Itadori: megumi, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul. Itadori: nanami, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression. Itadori: And gojo has the ABBA Gold album.
itadori: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel. gojo: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel. nobara: A realist sees a freight train. megumi: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.
Newt: How the hell did you crash the car?! Crowley: So I was just driving today, right? And my navigation told me to go straight. Crowley: I was like "woah, that's homophobic". Instead, I went gay. And, THAT'S when I got into an accident. Newt: ... Aziraphale, with a proud smile: And THAT'S who I'm in love with, ladies and gentlemen.
Arthur: You disgust me. Gawain: *eating a kitkat sideways* I realize this and don’t care.
Sasuke: *spits mouthful of blood onto floor* You’ve become far more powerful since we last crossed paths. Dentist: Please stop, there’s literally a sink right next to you.
crowley: I don’t even use tubberware anymore. aziraphale: What are you saying? Say it again. crowley: Tubberware. aziraphale: Say it again. Slow. crowley: Tubberware. aziraphale: Slow, very slow - actually, say the first syllable. crowley: Tub. aziraphale: Wrong. crowley: What do you mean, wrong? aziraphale: I thought I caught that. You’re saying tub. It’s P. crowley: What are you talking about? aziraphale: Tupperware. Tupper. crowley: It’s tupper! aziraphale: It’s tupper, always has been, always will be. crowley: I thought it was tubberware because it kind of looks like a tub.
Aziraphale: You look good in that jacket. Crowley: You know where else I'd look good? Aziraphale, zero hesitation: My bed. Crowley, at the same time: By you're side- wait, what?
Halt: I'm a reverse necromancer. Arald: Isn't that just killing people? Halt: Ah, technicality.