An account from when I documented some feelings around having my daughter in October 2019. Nov 2019: 'Before I had my youngest daughter I had plans to embroider a mermaid and wave middle marker on this wrap and to add these acorns or cowrie shells to the hemstitched ends. I chose the acorns because they are made from clay and acorns signify growth to me. The shells were chosen because we live by the sea. I would in one way like to collect shells from the seashore and use those but I’m not sure how I feel about personally drilling little holes into creatures homes to attach them. It’s not been the easiest time since having my daughter and this has impacted on my motivation to complete the finishing touches on my wrap. I think a combination of a sudden major move 4 hours from home during my pregnancy, health complications for me before and after she was born and her not being okay during labour have added up! I think fear has a huge effect on the brain. There were points where I didn’t think I would survive and ever be able to parent my children like I did before. I was so so scared. I have definitely not felt very much like myself since having her. Some days are better and others are really bad. I’m hoping that ‘making’ myself sew, embroider, dye yarn and weave again will be therapeutic. I absolutely LOVE what I do. After my children and their father, the greatest joy in life for me is textiles! In fact the thing I’ve found hardest since having my children (other than parenting obviously haha) is juggling time! For a while my page will be focused on the things I do to beat Postnatal Depression and hallucinations alongside my weaving and wrap making as I think it’s so important to talk about mental health.' Things continued to remain challenging and I started wondering how to document my feelings in a way that could examine how society actually treats mothers, putting under spotlight the woefully inadequate services available to help with maternal mental health.