#asdkdkdksdajdknf

[venussheglows]

me: I literally have no motivation to do art requests

my brain: jortspheus

me: please no

my brain: JORTSPHEUS

me: NO

also me:

[venussheglows]

Orpheus: I’ve got it, the song that will fix the entire world! I’ll bring back the seasons! 

 Eurydice: Wait, what is it? 

 Orpheus: *inhales* fOUR JEWS IN A ROOM B I T C H I N G

Eurydice: N O

[venussheglows]

The wapera the wapera!!!! Stop throwing your ass back we'll miss the curtain...

[venussheglows]

Ok but,,, Eva Noblezada as Anatole 

[venussheglows]

Hadestown as shit the shreklets have said

Hermes: choo choo motherfuckers

Persephone to the workers: Lmao y’all are coming over to my loud no electricity house we’re gonna eat canned goods and wear studded collars

Hades: one time i tried to sing i’m breaking down but couldn’t remember words so i just sang “i’m breaking down... i’m breaking down!” for three minutes

Eurydice: what up I'm eurydice I'm 22 and I never learned how to fucking take care of myself

Hades talking about Orpheus: He puts the bread in the middle of his fucking sandwich

Hades: *lifts capri sun shot glass* raise a glass to poet boy getting decked

Persephone in Chant: when they say hey to deez town? idk man I'm not a rick riordan fan ://

Persephone, drunk: communion is voring jesus

Orpheus and the workers during If It’s True: screaming bitch: a new album by Da Boiz

Hermes: and the train was comin and the train was comin and the train was comin and the train was comin and the train was comin and the train was comin and the train was comin and the train was comin

Eurydice: I freaked my cat out today because i was watching a male cat lose it over his owner petting someone else

Persephone: Im just a shapeless blob who likes dresses

Persephone: shut the fuck up                                                                    Hades: I'm a fuck up, and I'm here to be shut

Eurydice during Hey, Little Songbird: I'm ya sugar baby I'm ya sugar baby something something

Orpheus (but literally any of them): my skull is full of beans

Orpheus: I’m a very big disaster and can’t cook to save my life

Persephone: I would not want to fuck a ghost JUST BECAUSE theyre a ghost  The Fates: Nah I really want to fuck a ghost

The Fates: I’m the biggest bitch

The Fates: nuts and balls nd balls and nuts                                                      Persephone: poetry                                                                                          The Fates: i’m more of a prose kinda gal but i accept the compliment

Persephone: what do I say besides bitch and fuck

Hermes: I have sexy shoes

Eurydice, going down to Hadestown: (through muffled sobs) do it for the vine

[venussheglows]

Great Comet as shit the shreklets have said

Pierre: (tearfully) is that a tanooki or just a really fat raccoon

Natasha: Arsenic? We're feeding you something that all pedophilic priests love

Helene: listen man i may be denser than a corn muffin but at least i don’t claim that natasha rostova is straight so ive got that on leo tolstoy

Sonya: one time i tried to sing i’m breaking down but couldn’t remember words so i just sang “i’m breaking down... i’m breaking down!” for three minutes

Anatole: Lmao y’all are coming over to my loud no electricity house we’re gonna eat canned goods and wear studded collars

Old Prince Bolkonsky: i’m kin with george of the jungle

Marya: can’t spell kaleidoscope without kale

Pierre: my autobiography will be titled: knees giving out unexpectedly in the kitchen section of ikea

“Pierre & Anatole”: beating you over the head with a fifteen chord Oscar Schmidt autoharp (ASMR)

Anatole: the last time i threw it back was absolutely catastrophic

Pierre: shape if you, the philosophical take

Andrei coming home from the war: and the train was comin and the train was comin and the train was comin and the train was comin and the train was comin and the train was comin and the train was comin and the train was comin

Sonya: sure you may be “cool” or “successful” but can you eat an entire bag of rainbow goldfish in twenty minutes?

Dolokhov, getting shot: the tables table yet again

Natasha: I'll drink to that *sips capri sun because she’s underage*

Pierre during The Duel: straight up goes to a bar and orders capri sun shots

Natasha, poisoning herself: mmmm tasty salmonella

Dolokhov: Fucking little dumbass slut shitty bitch fuck up hoe ass fucker dick

Mary: i pinned my two braids to my head and immediately i feel like a pious unmarried woman of russian nobility

Pierre: i’m simultaneously baby and a 73 year old man living in a lighthouse with nothing but his monthly shipments of bourbon and his leather bound journal

Sonya: yall ever just ✨anck sie ity✨

Marya: i am a vegetarian but. i will cook biphobes and feed them to the gators in my backyard

Anatole: IM TRYING TO ELOPE WITH NATASHA BUT IM DUMMY THICC AND THE CLAP OF MY ASS CHEEKS ALERTS MARYA DMITRIEVNA

Old Prince Bolkonsky: ginger men are disgusting they smell like mustard

Helene to Marya during the Opera: peg me ma'am

Dolokhov: !p whistle flo rida 10 hours

Sonya: (tearfully) HEWWO???? HEWOOOOO??????? 

and finally, Balaga: Nothing compares to taking a shit in a camper while listening to 1812 overture on repeat

[venussheglows]

HI YES I’M SCREAMING

[venussheglows]

DEAR GOD N O

(edit done by @lalalalivy​!)