#askjill

[extravertinginfj]

hey hey what's your enneagram?

I think Im probably a 4w5 or a 5w4, but honestly I haven’t done enough research into enneagram to really stick to anything yet. Im intending to learn more in the near future though.

[extravertinginfj]

I have an esfj (I believe) in my life that I have a huge crush on and I may have all sorts of feelings too. How would you describe the relationship between an esfj and an infj?

OH dear, good luck haha. My art teacher is an ESFJ, but the only typed ESFJ i know, so I’m going to rely a lot on my experiences with him. Since both ESFJ and INFJ have high Fe, you can easily start building a friendship on just that. Letting the other know you are interested in getting to know them is a good thing. I think both the ESFJ and INFJ value open and honest conversation, and the ESFJ is more likely to do more talking with their Si and Ne running, but then occasionally letting the INFJ, who usually happy to just listen a lot, to add their input and twist the conversation their way again with Ni.

So theorizing and conversations may be fun and exciting for this pair, but when it comes to actually doing something, one type is going to have to give in to the other in some way. Personally, I have grown up in a family of Si users and a little sister who has undeveloped inferior Se. Sometimes I feel stifled by the inclinations of Si users, they have less motivation to just go out and GO AND EXPERIENCE THE NATURE. I mean they just don’t in the same way a Se user desires, but this is just a personal pet peeve. Doesn’t mean they won’t go out and do crazy stuff, but they may have a different idea of it than you would. ANYWAY LOOK IM RANTING.

I’ll just stop here unless you have more specific question, but think each of the type’s functions play off each other very well, I think there is A LOT of potential for friendship or something more intimate, as long as the ESFJ doesn’t wear out the INFJ and the INFJ doesn’t stick in one frame of mind too long. That’s all, Thanks!

[extravertinginfj]

How do I find my type??????? -',

Okie dokie here we go!

Most people initially find their personality type and learn about MBTI by taking an online quiz. However, these quizzes vary in accuracy and reliability, so the only reason I would take it would to give an estimate of where to begin finding your true type.

In my opinion, learning the functions is the best way to learn your true type. They give a solid foundations to how each type really works. You can explore my “cognitive functions” tag to start delving into that, or if you have more specific questions, or want more resources, you can just ask :) Honestly though, it takes years to start truly grasping what these functions are and how they work and reveal themselves in everyday life. Im still learning and exploring it. It just depends on how much you want to explore the theory. If you just want to take the test and be done with it, great. If you want to sell your soul and be part of the MBTI fandom, great.

[extravertinginfj]

Hey there! How do you know a person's mbti personality (without knowing from personality test of course)? Can you do an elaborate thing of that? :)

Ahhh, my friend, this question is disastrous ;) If you decide to go further into MBTI, you may never come back out! Many would argue that Carl Jung’s cognitive functions are the backbone of MBTI, and would also help you type yourself and others more accurately. Cognitive Functions are how the brain processes information and the way it is expressed in individuals. I will give you a short explanation to this theory and then send you to some places where they are discussed in much more detail.

The functions come in four types and are subdivided into extraverted and introverted. So there is Extraverted Sensing (Se), Introverted Sensing (Si), Extroverted Thinking (Te), Introverted Thinking (Ti), Extraverted Feeling (Fe), Introverted Feeling (Fi), Extraverted Intuition (Ne) and Introverted Intuition (Ni). Each MBTI type is going to have four main ones they use, for example, I am an INFJ and my top four functions are Dominant Ni, Secondary Fe, Tertiary Ti, Inferior Se. There are specific rules about how functions are ordered, but I won’t go into that right now.

Though they are kinda ordered based on how much you use them, but there order also tells how you use them. Like, I “see” the world with my dom Ni, and I communicate with others through my secondary Fe. If you take lots of time to learn how the functions through watching people explain them on youube or explanations on tumblr. It really takes a lot of time to learns them though, like years. So don’t get frustrated if you can’t figure it all out right away, there is always something new to learn.Ok, so I was assuming you didn’t know about the functions, if you did, I’m sorry. But here is the answer to your question either way: 1. learn the functions and how they apply in real life. 2. Find someone you are interested in typing and  get to know how they think/act/live. 3. Practice your skills by figuring out what functions they use and find a type that seems to fit them. You can also use stereotypes and common traits of the types to help figure out your muse.

Here are some helpful posts about cognitive functions Here and Here.

If you have more specific questions, you are welcome to ask!

[extravertinginfj]

Hey I love your blog! The question I have is, do INFJs have a stronger tendency to form deep, unexplainable attachments to certain people, and keep them secret? I'm an INFJ, and find myself getting attached to seemingly random people, and, because of my secrecy, that person never knows about it. Often, I am content to invest a large amount of mental and emotional energy into someone without them ever knowing how much I really care for them. It's strange, and I hope this makes sense. Thank you!

Hahaha, I read this aloud to my INFJ sister, and we both agree this is definitely an INFJ thing. It has to do with Ni/Fe. Our introverted intuition loves figuring out people and taking interest in them, but our Fe stops us from actually approaching those people out of the blue. I have some friends that I persistently care a lot about, even though I don’t feel they feel the same way. I have those random people in my life I have silently watched as the years gone by. I have those random fb friends, tumblr people i follow, twitter people, that I feel like I know, without them knowing me. However, the secret attachments are most revelant to my crushes. I’ve liked certain boys for years and on and on, but I wouldn’t tell them, cause I was sure I wouldn’t get a good response. But yes, in general, this occurs with us other INFJs too. Those people we find intriguing will never know what we think, yet we can’t stop it! It’s a hard life, lol.

Also, side note for INTJs:

They like to figure out people as well with their dominant Ni, but instead apply it more practically with auxiliary Te. For instance, my INTJ friend finds out a lot of specific information about lots of people “just in case he needs it”. If you ask him for someone’s number, he probably has it…. or knows someone that does!