being a domestic abuse and sexual assault survivor does not give you a free pass to abuse and assault others. in fact, it kinda makes it even worse that you did. because you know why it’s wrong and how horrible it is, and then you did it to your friends anyway.
every time someone calls robara "gender" i feel immeasurate disgust like how does the partner abuse and serial sexual assault not immediately soil everything about even joking about associating yourself with him
doppelganger playlist + reasons for adding the songs!
trying to get used to playlist posts even though i haven't gotten any reqs for them yet [/lh] sooo here! everything's under the cut except for the playlist, which is linked here!
very quick color guide:
doppel - arle - some asshole who i won't directly name
Star of the Show - GHOST:
clowns? check. gay ass? check. feelings of being below someone who sees themself so highly when in reality they're a total bitch? check.
i think if doppel knew what kinning was she'd kin the funny clown laindividual
Pokemon glitch songs - Various:
once i listened to one of these and thought 'oh hey if i remixed this a bit it'd totally be a doppel boss battle theme lol' which actually led me to making the playlist more or less
L.A. - Crumb the Band:
"Where have I gone?
I've been gone so long
Where have I gone?
I've been gone so long"
Theo - Omoi:
we needed a hopeful song on this playlist okay
From the Gallows - IDKHOW:
based off of a roleplay that completely shaped my opinion of her. she's in/she was in a horribly unhealthy relationship with a guy who had hurt both her and blue arle (kare) a lot but he is/was the only person who ever showed her actual love and affection at all so she felt she had to stay with him and do whatever made him happy because otherwise she'd be all alone again
Last Dance - Ev e:
healing song! 'that relationship was shitty' she said to her grandkids 'don't get in shitty relationships if you can avoud them'
Waltz No. 2 - Dmitri Shostakovich:
i just think she'd like this song a lot
Icicles - The Scary Jokes:
"You've become art,
How could they even start to see?
Beyond your presentation
'Cause they've got no imagination"
"And I admit it would be easier
To be relieved of all this shame and not have to
Wear it on my sleeve
But I imagine it's quite nice for you
To have so many chances
Have so many ways to be redeemed"
she feels like the only way she can be 'redeemed' after trying to replace arle is just to let herself be entertainment for her [ex-]boyfriend.
she ends up feeling even worse after finding out he got away from both responsibility and guilt after assaulting both arle and his brother while she will never be 'free' from her own feelings of guilt for even trying to replace/fuse with arle
Tained Love - Gloria Jones:
"Sometimes I feel I've got to
Run away, I've got to
Get away from the pain you drive into the heart of me
The love we share
Seems to go nowhere
And I've lost my right
For I toss and turn, I can't sleep at night"
"Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I run from you (Now I run)
The tainted love you're giving
I gave you all a girl can give you
Take not give and that's not nearly all
Tainted love"
she has. unhealthy relationship
Vault Sideways Piano & Vault Battle - Mike Morasky:
the latter sounds very vaguely like her theme/something that would be her theme and both fit her well imo
Boss Battle - Einosuke Nagao/Tsuyoshi Matsushima [Madou Monogatari: Hanamaru Dai Youchienji OST]:
Clown - Junichi Yoshida, Koji Onari, Kazuaki Nagai [Puyo Puyo~n]:
it's literally her theme /lh
Blood from the Concrete - The Scary Jokes:
.she's constantly putting herself (and sometimes even kare) down to please her [ex-]boyfriend, feeling like if she doesn't basically become the perfect in entertainment and care and love then she'll never be anywhere close to 'redeemed' in anyone's eyes
something sort of heartbreaking, too, is singing this song from her POV would show how much she believes her boyfriend's lies - "he's always been so supportive to me, and nothing but! he's always been kind to me! he really thought i was the real arle!" [all things he actually said in the rp to try to manipulate her into staying with him]
another thing is she's been trapped for so long she hardly remembers how to give affection or treat anyone right, leading her to try way too hard to please this guy to make up for it.
A Mannequin Adrift - The Scary Jokes:
"Come on, let us see you smile
Stop crying and let's see you smile
There
You're much prettier that way"
"It's so hard to function
I feel like my body has died with my soul trapped inside
This cold death rattle in my chest feels just like pennies in a tin can"
Last Decisive Battle - Unknown [Puyo Puyo~n]:
another one of her actual themes
Honey I'm Home [8-Bit] - Youtube user Saidan No Hitsugi (original by GHOST):
i just think it'd be something she'd listen to
BROADCAST ILLUSION [Music Box] - Youtube user Avenir / lysterhein (original by GHOST):
another thing where the original doesn't really fit her (disregarding the manipulation stuff) but i still think that she'd listen to it
The Moon Will Sing - The Crane Wives:
"Tell me once again
I could have been anyone, anyone else
Before you made the choice for me"
"All those empty rooms
We could have been anywhere, anywhere else
Instead I made a bed with apathy
My heart knew the weight
Ten years worth of dust and neglect"
starting off, listening to this song actually made me cry, both because of remembering bad stuff and because it fits her so terribly.
one of the biggest and worst tiny moments in this awful rp she was in was one where she doubted her boyfriend's love for her.
this wasn't her plan, it just wasn't. she wanted to regain what she lost, catch up with what she missed. she wanted her friends, she wanted "her" friends. was this really what she wanted?
she lied to herself and said yes, this is what i wanted, but she knew it really wasn't; it felt so forced to her, to want it.
another thing is the last line - ten years worth of dust and neglect - fits in so terribly well with a song i made for kare about her experience with doppel's boyfriend
"No but seriously, I’m too scared to face you but believe me
I had to go to therapy for ten years ‘cause of this shit"
(i know the lyrics are bad i made it in one go-)
Truck Stop Tiger - Roar:
"You stayed with me like glass between my teeth
We'll burn the house before anyone gets out
When life loses meaning, there doesn't need to be a reason"
"When you're stuck in this position
It's like training for the wrong conditions"
"You've been training for the wrong conditions"
.doppel being with her boyfriend hurts her so much. she can hardly handle staying with him, she just wants to leave but he won't let her and he just won't go away!
training for his favorite sport, boxing, isn't something she wants. she doesn't like boxing, she doesn't have fun, but she can't do what she wants without disappointing him. she tried telling him it was too much several times, but he just didn't listen!
{shout-out to my awesome friend tsu for giving me this song to add to the playlist}
Safe Ship Harbored - The Crane Wives:
"Watch me give up, honey, watch me give up
I swore I never would
What we've been wishing upon ourselves
Things that I forgot I cannot do"
"Where does your faith fall?
Where does your faith fall in me?
Don't break the bottle
Don't waste your blessings on me"
"I ain't proud
I wasn't born a safe ship
Something wore me down"
honestly i could put the entire song here but i'm keeping it to just those lines
she wasn't made to box, she wasn't made to bend over backwards for a guy who only kisses her when she wins a match, she wasn't made to only be with one guy who's only with her because kare refused to even look at him after he assaulted her
she constantly tries to give every part of herself to him while receiving quite literally nothing in return, and it's not working out
Hope - Roar:
"Do I need a reason to wake up lonely all the time?
I don't want to see you, but I don't know where to hide"
"Swim in circles, water fills your lungs
And why should anyone else offer their help?
I mean, just look at the way I never took care of myself"
"I'll be numb, but I'll be free
My friends will keep me honest"
"You won't mean a thing to me
Now, that's what I call, "progress""
i think a lady did stab a guy with her hatpin once? he was beinf a creep and deserved it tho.
oh it def happened a lot. men are, and have been, like that for all of history
im so firmly pro women (and everyone tbh)-wearing spiky and sharp accesories and using them to beat creeps off. get those sharp cat keychains or carry a heavy bag that you know how to swing
the funniest part of q slur discourse is the ppl vitriolic that anyone would dare trigger tag the q slur. like ok you use it as identity or whatever. have you considered that other people's triggers is something you need to care about? do you just not tag anything? would you not tag blood or knives or needles or mentions of assault? like regardless of how YOU feel about the word, it's triggering for other people (because it's a homophobic slur lol) and it's just polite to tag things other people are triggered by lol.
