matthew, mateo, or mallow | he/him | awab (assigned windclan at birth) | main
i call people babe platonically, lemme know if it bothers you
don't call me bestie if you're on anon
icon and header is art of morningsky, done by @just-like-beart.
all old pinned posts are archived under #pinned. they may not contain accurate information.
fun facts, things you might want to know, and (regrettably) discourse notes below the cut.
i don't have a dni. (i believe dnis are inherently ableist.) however, here are a few things so you can make an educated decision on if you want to follow me:
i'm an adult. this blog is usually sixteen+. make an educated decision.
i rarely tag triggers. this includes whatever common trigger you assume i tag: i almost definitely don't. you can request i tag something, but i probably won't be able to accommodate you.
i'm anti-harassment. no exceptions.
curate your experience, because i won't do it for you.
some fun facts about me and questions people ask a lot:
i have "multiple people in my head" disorder. sometimes i use we/us. sometimes i talk abt myself in third person. sometimes i talk to myself.
used to be that i was constantly writing but it turns out that was "serious mental illness," so now i write sometimes and don't others.
if a post is rebloggable, you can reblog it.
dovewing, mistyfoot, and feathertail are some of my favorite characters.
mallowstep is an old OC who was originally a self-insert but stopped being one a long time ago.
a few discourse-y things:
this section exists because i do occasionally dip my toes in discourse, and because people occasionally kvetch about me. but this blog is not a discourse blog.
anything related to shipping discourse (commonly called pro/anti) is tagged #shipcourse. discourse in general is tagged #discourse.
if you're going to block me, i appreciate it if you block my main at the same time. it's linked above.
my formal and official stance is that my opinions are whatever you want. no one listens to me when i describe them, so i've decided to lean into it.
The key to writing good fanfiction is to harbor a deeply humiliating desire, and the trick there is that even pretty basic and societally-accepted desires like “being held” and “being wanted” CAN and WILL be humiliating if they’re intense enough. Become so estranged from human connection that the idea of someone playing with your hair fills you with yearning so deep you feel like you’re going to throw up and you will write some banger fanfiction. It might have some other consequences too but idrk about that.
I just think people write out of obligation too often.
"How do I motivate myself to write through the boring part of my story?"
"How do I make this boring scene not boring?"
Don't write it.
Don't write boring things just because you think the structure of the story demands it. I promise it doesn't need to be there.
If your characters need to have gone shopping for a later part of the story to make sense you can just have a sentence about how they went shopping and move on.
You are not obligated to write the boring parts. No matter what those parts are.
You are not obligated to make the parts of your story that you're not excited to write interesting somehow.
You can just write the fun and interesting parts and gloss over and summarize boring things.
Your audience will thank you and you will thank yourself.
i've posted about this before but i think a lot about how dandelionkit died when she was two moons old.
dandelionkit isn't like her siblings. sparkkit has so much energy squirrelflight often sends her to help briarlight, just so she can sleep at nap time. alderkit is calmer, but that doesn't mean he can't keep up.
she can't.
no one thinks she'll be a warrior. (if she were a little older, she would know: no one expects her to live that long.) the elders don't complain if she chases their tail, and the warriors never chastise her for playing too close to them. squirrelflight pulls her closest at night, and bramblestar takes her into the forest once, tucked tight under his paws, just so she can see.
she's just a kit. she doesn't know she's going to die, doesn't know every day she doesn't get stronger is a day she gets weaker. squirrelflight starts telling alderkit and sparkkit to be gentler with her. jayfeather and leafpool talk to squirrelflight and bramblestar outside the nursery, as they wait with cinderheart. she thinks it's getting harder to breathe, but maybe it's just the weather.
dandelionkit sits with briarlight, wondering if she could help in the medicine den when she's older. briarlight purrs, nuzzling the top of her head, and says nothing. jayfeather chases her out, telling her to stop getting under their feet and to go bother her littermates instead, with none of his usual bite. she watches sparkkit and alderkit wrestle and decides to nap on bramblestar instead.