how do you think the ASGZC would do if they played "Among Us"? I think Angeal is the guy who never suspects anyone and when he is the impostor he outs himself immediatly, Cloud is the guy who is never the impostor but always is suspected cuz he gets nervous easily, Zack is the one who always gets killed in every game cuz he's too trusting, Gen loves playing the impostor and playing innocent, Seph is accidentally the best player cuz no one can ever figure out if he's the impostor or not.
Oh god lmao. Okay.
Angeal: likes the idea of a game about performing tasks, but will absolutely out himself as imposter. It would be dishonorable not to. Also
Genesis: Hates not being the imposter because the idea of performing tasks, even in a game, sounds terrible. Sabotage, however...
Also Genesis:
Sephiroth: totally the best player because no one is ever going to best that poker face, but also may or may not have any idea what’s going on or what exactly he’s been roped into. Also
Cloud: Nervous at first, which is kinda sus, but once he gets the hang of things he can be a right smug little shithead.
Zack: Too trusting, will legit out himself and offer to kill people who are suspecting Cloud, but also
You know what? Fuck it, everyone in Shinra has a Twitter/Instagram account (but the Turks have finstas because they're spies, y'know?) Hojo's got links in the dark web. Zack tries entering the deep web by going in incognito mode and typing "drugs" in the searchbar. Genesis is starting Twitter beef for whatever reason, Sephiroth's account is virtually nonexistent, Kunsel's a tea account, and everyone likes Angeal because he's unproblematic
(Anon, I want you to know I was on the phone with my grandmother when I read this. And I hit the Zack bit and lost my fucking shit ugly laughing ahdhsjdjd he.
I’m gonna try to expand on this but I highly doubt I’ll be able to match your god tier takes lmao.)
—o—
President ShinRa — has an account on Twitter but refuses to let a PR person run it. Accidentally Horny on Main Incident Counter: 3 (so far)
Cloud — Hates social media but has one at Zack’s insistence. Has a random username with like his birthday in it but it’s so forgettable you’d think it was just an auto-generated one he didn’t change. He only posts obscure photos, never selfies. Zack is the only one that follows him until he convinces the firsts to do it and starts posting photos of the blonde and tagging him. The rest is history.
Zack — Kind of really fratboy-ish on his accounts. Lots of photos of him in cut-out muscle shirts, megawatt grin in place, etc. It’s broken up by cute, soft pictures of him and Cloud or like Cloud sleeping or smth. He tags Cloud in them, too, and that’s how Cloud’s own follower count explodes, despite having a fairly empty page (Seph is sympathetic).
Also. He totally went on what he thought was “the dark web” on like Angeal’s tablet or smth. He’s currently running laps until he fucking dies.
Angeal — The most unproblematic and fun person to follow. Has the prettiest Instagram by far given his interest in photography. Accidentally aesthetic. Not really a selfie person and rarely posts to twitter.
Trouble in paradise only happens when a shirtless photo of him in some low-riding sweats that are clinging just a little too tight from exercise pops up on a rapidly growing tea spill account. It’s made worse when Gen reblogs it like 6 times and even fucking Sephiroth likes it. He can’t even look at his DM’s anymore.
Reno — Secretly has a personal insta that he think he cute about, and no one will ever find it. But Tseng knows. Because he always just knows. He just doesn’t say anything because he uses it as a quick way to keep tabs on what infraction(s) Reno has committed at any given time.
Tseng — Runs the top secret Turk ‘kawaii’ finsta + twitter used for spying purposes but does, at times, enjoy looking at some posts. Waterscapes are a favorite.
Scarlet — She’ll post stuff that’s either interesting or aesthetically pleasing, but like every 5th post or so she’ll post some wildly misinformed or straight up shitty “hot take” a lose a shitton of followers.
Genesis — Honestly just fucking loves drama and posting his semi-lewds somewhere. Adores attention. Starts shit for the fun of it if he can’t find anything to insert himself into. Loves to pick fights with Scarlet over her shitty takes.
And yes, he has used a copy of LOVELESS as a makeshift censor bar before.
Sephiroth — Accounts have millions of followers but like. They’re basically empty. If the default picture has been replaced, it’s by like a blurry photo of... something... but a black, gloved thumb is blocking half the lens.
(Also why do all these people keep asking about his hair?)
Hojo — Welcome with open arms on the dark web, IP banned on every social media site. Truly a mystery. Go figure.
Kunsel — Has not just a tea spill page, but the tea spill page. The one that has almost eclipsed all three famous 1sts + Zack combined. Literally no one knows it’s him, either. Not even Zack.
Communicates regularly for info trades with different accounts, one seemingly harmless kawaii account tends to trade him some really good dirt, more often than not.
(He also knows it’s you, Tseng.)
Lazard — keeps everything professional but you best believe he keeps checking the tea spill page frequently. He is not immune to enjoying drama.
Reeve — Relatively unknown account with a small amount of followers until some movie about an assassin who’s dog gets murdered comes out. Then, holy shit, does his popularity explode. Turns out, ‘looks hot in a suit and cares about the environment’ is a lot of people’s ‘type’.
Rufus — Hes one of those rich kids of Beverly Hills type instagrams as a teen and then sort of grows out of it as an adult. Takes too long to retort on twitter and when he does, it kind of feels like something he’s practiced saying in a mirror for quite some time. Kind of feels like he read 50 Shades and is trying to impersonate the main dude, sometimes. The much better public face of the company, though, but a few too many food selfies.
Roche — Also kind of fratty but like 60% of his photos are centered around his bike. Makes the mistake of calling Cloud a ‘hot piece of ass’ and saying some pretty... suggestive... things about him in a photo Zack took and posted of the blonde when they were in Costa del Sol.
Two possible Scenarios: A) Sephiroth hired an orchestra and a choir that follow him everywhere and play when he's in a fight or B) he sings his own theme song
Genesis, slowly losing his mind, trying to explain his these new theories to ASZ&C in an emergency meeting he’s called:
Angeal, Sephiroth, Zack, and Zack’s cadet that he brings everywhere:
Sephiroth internally and apparently now channeling Hojo:
Still shook at how much of an absolute unit Sephiroth is. Like he's forced to appear onscreen tiddie first and I think he's as tall as Barret in the remake??
Ahahdhsjdjd I’M SO GLAD PEOPLE ARE FINALLY SEEING THIS. You have no idea. For so long, people have dismissed the top four SOLDIERs/famous Firsts — Sephiroth and Genesis in particular here — as being bishōnen/pretty boy protagonists/antagonists and like....
Yes. They’re very pretty, if not straight up beautiful, men. But they are not small men by any means. Like:
Genesis is estimated to be around 6’2” and 160-170 lbs. (various sources)
Sephiroth is estimated to be around 6’3” - 6’5” and 190-200 lbs. (various sources)
Angeal is estimated to be around 6’4” - 6’6” and, going by the builds of athletic friends in real life, someone that muscular at that height could reasonably be anywhere from 210-225 lbs.
Zack isn’t small either, by any means. He’s listed as 6’3” and, again, from real life comparisons, probably clocks in at around 175-185 lbs. to have the build he has.
And it’s wild to think about in comparison to our beloved blonde main protagonist, who is canonically around 5’7” and about 135 lbs.
I started watching ffvii remake let's play recently and the hand message scene killed me(should not have read that smut before). How do you think our 1st class soldiers would react to see Cloud like that?
Ah, the Slutty, Slutty Wall Market adventure gets everyone. 😌
Sephiroth (sane, of course) would have an r/whoosh type moment and would either A.) be adding his two cents on the benefits of massages/some technical aspect of it to the point he’d totally not pick up on the atmosphere, and/or B.) spend the back half of the whole ordeal carefully schooling in his face to look as painfully neutral as he always does, bangs obscuring his eyes, while he internally wallows in his own embarrassment.
He’d straight up ask if Cloud got his happy ending with absolutely no malice or suggestive tone in his voice — it’s just Seph trying to make small talk.
—o—
Genesis would be equal parts amused and completely enthralled at Cloud’s little spa treatment — he’s oddly in his element, here, so the atmosphere (or the delightful little noises Cloud makes) don’t bother him in the slightest.
When the massage runs long, though, he ends up removing his gloves and examining his own impossibly perfect manicure, smirking victoriously as he caught Madame M herself glancing over at him enviously.
Huh. If only the world wasn’t always trying to tear itself apart. He could make a fortune doing this (not that he needed it.)
—o—
Angeal would be the most respectful, and would turn his head away from the scene despite not seeing much of it to begin with. Still, though, it gets to him after a while—even if only the people that knew him would know to look for his reddened ears.
(He has no plans on acting ‘till he’s behind closed doors, thank you very much. Ex-SOLDIER or not, he’s dead set on maintaining his image.
Not he’s not highly tempted to— Huh.
Trust Genesis’ exhibitionism to start rubbing off on him at the worst possible time.)
—o—
Zack would just straight up fucking die.
(Well, Almost, anyway.)
He initially wants to yank Cloud out of there and sprint out of the entire market at breakneck (Ex-)SOLDIER speed, but then the absolutely sinful noises the little blonde is making start inching their way into his brain, looking for a permanent home.
(He’s more than happy for them to make themselves cozy on the sofa in his mind.)
Evil little thing, his brain is — it wasn’t long after Cloud followed Madam M back that his initial dicomfort at the whole situation inevitably starts turning into his personal discomfort (Gaia below, why did he have to wear the tightest jeans he owned today? He was going to die from the friction at this rate, wanting nothing more than to fireman carry the smaller man back to their shared room at 7th Heaven and lock them in there for a few days. And nights. Or a long weekend.
Until the cows came home, essentially.
(Good thing Midgar didn’t really have cows.)
For the moment, though, Zack ends up leaning against the wall, shoulders and posture hunched, wanting nothing more than to plug his ears and start sings-songing about how he can’t hear them.
All soldier boys in a huge crazy party? How do you think they would act? I seriously think Genesis would be like making moves on every person and Zack would be hanging from the ceiling lol
OH BOI I HAVE SOME THOUGHTS.
—o—SOLDIER attendees—o—
Zack: Party organizer extraordinaire and general instigator. The party looks like something out of a LMFAO video and there’s more tacky neon than you than one’s eyes should probably ever behold at one time. Oddly enough, the neon/glow-in-the-dark aesthetic he establishes works really well with bright glow-in-the-dark quality that SOLDIER eyes have.
He’s absolutely and without a doubt the life of the party, unsurprisingly. Like. Up on the table, amateur pole dancing type life of the party, much to Angeal’s absolute displeasure and Cloud’s embarrassment (he’s the guest of honor, after all).
Genesis: He’s definitely flirting with everything with a pulse, much to A&S’s chagrin. Makes a sort of competition out of being the center of attention with Zack... even though Zack has no idea it’s a competition. For the most part though, he’s harmless and his natural charm fits the party going atmosphere well. He does overdo it with Zack’s cute little friend and sends him fleeing into the kitchen, but there would be another time.
Now if only Angeal would stop looking like he was about to dole out an honor lecture.
Angeal: Surprisingly, he mellows out. Like. A lot. Still honorable, of course, but less intense with a slight buzz. He ends up enjoying himself even if he says he’s just there to keep Zack (and Genesis too, tbh) in line. He ends up striking up a conversation with Zack’s little blonde friend (who he later finds out is the guest of honor — it’s his birthday) and immediately takes a liking to him. They talk of home, supporting their moms, their dreams. He could have talked with Zack’s friend all night if he hadn’t practically sprinted away once Genesis started flirted with him.
He’d have to ask Zack about him later, if they didn’t get the chance to speak again.
Sephiroth: Absolutely out of his element, and ironically looks tame and normal in comparison to almost everyone else and their bright colors. He doesn’t mind people watching though, and A&G seem pleased that he’s agreed to even come to something this informal. So it’s not all bad. He mostly keeps to himself in the kitchen though, mildly annoyed at his own awkwardness.
However, when he spots an unfamiliar face looking to avoid the cowd the same way he is, he takes his chances at socializing. He recognized the trooper as Zack’s friend, but the two had never really spoken.
Kunsel: General making a ruckus with Zack but not quite to the extreme he is. He’s making the rounds and gathering the latest gossip.
—o—Non-SOLDIER attendees—o—
Reno: The only Turk that got invited. He’s shithammered by 8:22 p.m. and has traded his goggles for light up shutter shades. He’s the DJ and he only plays his favorites (read: dubstep).
And no, he does not pass the aux cord.
Cloud: Isn’t sure why Zack invited him or why he agrees to come. This isn’t his scene at all. He’s super uncomfortable and, even though Zack comes to check on him, he kind of shies away to a quiet corner in the kitchen — the same one the General himself happened to be occupying.
The blonde is instantly apologetic and offers to get out of the silverette’s space, but he declines. The two, while starting off on an extremely awkward foot, hit it off well. Cloud is comforted to know that someone who has achieved as much as Sephiroth has, deals the the same issues he does.
(Maybe he really could do the same, too.)
—o—Party Crashers—o—
The (rest of the) Turks, eventually. Unfortunately they have to tell the rest of the partygoers to turn it down, because all of the rattling from the noise and movement rattled some ceiling plaster loose and directly onto Hojo’s head.
Tseng does not miss the malicious gleam in Sephiroth’s eyes at the news, even when dragging Reno out there, kicking and screaming.
What do you think of what AGSZC's music preferences will be? I felt like cloud listens to country unironically. Also western
I have done ASGZC’s music preferences before, here, and I can’t say there’s a lot I’d change my opinion on.
That said: I could totally see Cloud unironically enjoying totally cheesy old school country & western music, sometimes. CC!Era Zack just passes him the aux chord while they’re driving through the middle of nowhere, and that’s what Cloud picks because he is In A Mood. But Zack doesn’t have the heart to tell Cloud “you better not play trash” because he doesn’t want Cloud to clam up on him again. So the entire trip is just Like That.
myers-briggs personality type/enneagram hcs for agszc?
I feel like that’s pretty on the money for Myers-Briggs. I never got into enneagrams (I’m not really one to looks into personality types very much), so I assume those are at least somewhat accurate.
