things that helped me to really love myself
i have written this post in an inspired way (besides i have come up with many others) and this is honestly what has helped me to improve my self-esteem and to reinforce it these last few days so i want to share these tips with you and with all my love hope they will also help you 🤍
change my mentality, understanding some things that i learned during my process of loving myself:
understand that if you focus all the time on the negative of the situation it will only attract more of the same, so try more and more to see the good things or not to pay attention to what you don't like.
it's all a matter of perspective. what i think or believe only belongs to me so i can't react badly to a situation or behavior of someone that i don't like. the power is in changing the focus of that and turning it into something more positive, or even if it's difficult at first to something neutral.
we all see the world in different ways, which we experience it differently and this we can change if we want to.
beauty is subjective. although there are beauty canons, each person has their own tastes, even body goals. each person is unique and not everyone likes the same things. for example, when it comes to getting a cosmetic job, our features are different, so we can not pretend to look like a celebrity of the moment.
we are unique as we are and accepting ourselves does not mean doing nothing to change, on the contrary, if we love ourselves and want to improve, the change flows much better towards us.
comparisons are useless because we each live a different life and have different goals to achieve.
it is useless to reach perfection. we are already perfect because we are human. if we look for perfection it means sacrificing our whole life and happiness to please others. besides, it is something that changes with time and you don't want to be changing yourself every few years to be accepted?
although we have heard it many times beauty is on the inside, it is true and this belongs to a principle called the principle of correspondence. as inside is outside, that is how we feel inside is going to be reflected on the outside, either in our physical appearance or in our life, depending on what it is. so if we focus more on improving that which is preventing us from loving ourselves it will be reflected in our life. we can work at the same time our interior and exterior, but we can not focus only on one of them.
the negative things that others say about us are only a reflection of them. so if someone has ever said something to you that offended you, the problem is not really with you, but with that person.
If we work on a good self-concept about ourselves, many of our insecurities will go away, and others we will be able to accept them and change them with love.
our value has nothing to do with our physical appearance, social status, race or any of that and much less comes from what other people think. the value we have is attributed to ourselves and as i mentioned before, how we feel on the inside will be reflected on the outside. so if you don't feel a valued person start doing it and you will see how everything changes around you.
self-love is the engine of our life. if we have confidence in ourselves everything will be much easier. there will be difficult situations but we will be able to overcome them and learn from them.
we can't change others, but if we can change ourselves, then our surroundings will change and many people will start to behave differently with you, both from your environment and unknown people. and this has to do with what i mentioned before, the principle of correspondence, as it is inside is outside and even the self-concept has to do with this.
how we perceive ourselves internally will be reflected on the outside, even if it is not true, you are believing it as truth, so it is a truth for you. so if we think that a person is not as we would like or that he changed or anything, we can change this, changing the concept that we have for example of relationships.
relationship failures are not always the other person's fault, it is the reflection you are projecting of that person because of what you believe. my boss is mean to me but not to others? my parents prefer my siblings?
If you don't believe me, then why are there people who behave super well with some and with others they are the opposite? surely it has happened to you, surely you are like that with someone.
well, everything is in changing the thoughts we have about those people so that they will behave the way we want them to behave towards us.
to abandon "earthly thinking" is what i call it, that is to believe that everything we see in our "3d" or reality is the truth and cannot be changed, when this is not so. we are creators of our own life and when we understand this and apply it, everything starts to work.
it is useless to believe in the law of attraction and try to manifest if you don't really believe that your mind is what is creating all these good or bad experiences that you are experiencing right now.
when a bad situation comes along it is very easy to get frustrated, cry and blame ourselves, but that doesn't help. if we recognize ourselves as creators we can turn that situation around even immediately, just by taking control of our thoughts and assuming that everything is going to get better.
this last has helped me a lot to reduce anxiety and situations that were very painful for me before changed completely when i changed my thinking and I am not talking about days, i am talking instantly.
an example to understand well the "earthly thought"
when something bad happens in your life, when someone tells you no, anything that you take for definitive, you keep thinking that this is a resounding NO, that this will not change, you are clinging to an earthly thought, you are blocking the flow of new possibilities in your life. however, if you do not accept that situation and you do not identify with it, you have all the power to change it. and how to change it? by assuming what you want to happen. it seems easy to say, but it is. just change the thought. they told you no? well for you it is a yes. apply it to the situation you want.
habits that helped me to love myself.
having a routine is fundamental because besides organizing our days and keeping us more focused on certain activities makes us feel happy and proud of ourselves. i always say you don't have to copy anyone's routine, but create one for yourself adapted to your current life or goals you want to achieve.
affirmations. affirmations are not a magic technique. for you to understand better, the recurring thoughts that you have in your mind, that you repeat to yourself, are affirmations, but negative affirmations, so if you use positive affirmations you will replace those beliefs. this will transform your reality.
i use affirmations daily. i repeat them out loud and i also write them down.
writing self-love affirmations repeatedly has made a very powerful change in me and it seems like a simple thing that doesn't work for some people, but it really does.
you can choose an affirmation and repeat it daily about 100 times. for this the affirmation should be short, for example "i love myself".
the 55x5 method has also helped me. in this case, i again chose an affirmation to reinforce my self-love and self-esteem and from there things started to come to my life, it made me change my perspective and understand many things that were necessary for my growth and to learn to love myself.
you can use the use of affirmations to sleep all night long, this has also given me incredible results. my recommendation is that you play the audio very quietly, you don't hear it but your subconscious does.
affirming in front of a mirror has also helped me. this is very powerful. in times of anxiety or stress, you can stand in front of a mirror and affirm that everything is okay, that you are okay and that the situation is okay. it does work.
you can also say your affirmations in front of the mirror or remind yourself that you, love yourself. at first, it will be uncomfortable until you get used to it.
retrospecting. this is after the affirmations, something that has helped me to love myself.
this is a practical exercise (i'll make a more detailed post about this) and is necessary to improve. in fact, it is one of the exercises i like the most, because it is a good way to put into practice what we are learning.
ask yourself questions about your life, about your situation, about what you would like to improve, about how you want to feel, and develop them.
it will help you to see things more clearly and calmly. in difficult moments you can revisit them and read them out loud.
this is a very effective guide to redirect our thoughts to more positive ones and also to realize what we really want and what we should work on.
another thing i do is something i made up. i write a list of things "i won't do today" and things "i will do today" and give two examples from my notebook.
"things i will not do today".
react to what i don't like
because it's my perspective and i may be wrong. i don't know the situation so i can't get ahead of myself.
because there are no real reasons why i have to feel bad, they are just some of my thoughts, but they are not the absolute truth.
i wrote more but i wanted to show you an example and to do this you just have to adapt it to your situation and make a list of the things you are not going to do and the things you should do instead.
another example could be to not judge others and its counterpart to be kinder to yourself and others.
another very powerful exercise is to write down things that are part of your old version, that is to say, what you want to improve about yourself and next to it what you are going to do to improve or what belongs to your new version.
i am going to give you some examples from my notebook:
things to do when you feel:
sadness > write affirmations
worrying > do something else that keeps me busy
thinking positive and turning the situation around
"it's my fault" > " i feel good about myself, i trust that everything is going to be okay"
"i am not enough" > " i love myself and approve of myself "
this is what it is all about, as always applying it to your situation. these are just examples that will help guide you better.
for your self-love process i really recommend that you get a notebook to write affirmations and do this kind of exercises or also to let off steam if you need to.
exercise. i love exercising. i used to do it to change my body but now i really love it. it's something that has helped me gain a lot of confidence and even feel better.
exercise has a lot of benefits for the body and also the mind.
my recommendation is to choose a sport or even go to the gym and do it daily.
our mentality at the beginning has to make excuses not to do it or think that we don't like it because it is something very hard to do, but we can change this and i did.
at the beginning for me it was complicated to do it until out of nowhere i started to affirm that it was easy for me to exercise and that i enjoyed it, it also helped me a lot to focus and set small goals.
i started doing 3 days a week, then 4 days a week and then i do it every day, because I really enjoy it.
so in general for any activity that you find hard to do what you have to do is to change your mentality about it and also set small goals that will motivate you to keep going.
for example if you don't like cleaning you can also find a fun way to do it like listening to music or a podcast.
this is a positive way to deal with things that at first may seem difficult and gain more discipline and motivation.
meditate: i also love to meditate, it's something i do every day, from the time i get up until i go to bed.
many people underestimate it and think it's not useful, but have you tried it for at least a week?
in my case it has helped me to focus on the present moment, calm my anxiety and manifest.
guided meditations: you can find them on youtube and there are many types, from calming anxiety to relaxing mind and body, even to loving yourself.
meditate with music: you can look for a melody that you find pleasant and make breaths, focus on your breaths you can also visualize yourself in the situation that you would like or repeat affirmations like "i love myself" "everything is fine" are just examples and are things that if you practice you will discover over time.
you can also meditate without music and do the same process as described above.
eating healthy. eating healthy and nutritious food for my body has made me feel better about myself, improved my mood and also eliminated quite a few ailments or problems that i had in my body.
my recommendation is to do some research on healthy eating and its benefits. eat more fresh fruits and vegetables. you don't have to eliminate junk food but reduce it a lot. don't feel guilty for eating it either, but know its disadvantages for your health and be aware of it.
i do not recommend following any diet because each person is different and diets do not work because people try very hard the first two days and then end up quitting.
to start eating healthy you have to do it little by little. replace bad foods with good ones until you build a healthy diet. starting all at once is not going to work, you will end up getting frustrated.
and as i have said before and as i always say, mentality is the most powerful thing. i mean if we see healthy eating as a punishment for wanting to achieve a particular body type we will feel bad and we will see it as i have said, as a punishment, but however, if we change our perspective and enjoy eating healthy for all its benefits it will be a much easier and enjoyable process for us.
you can change the perspective of things, as i said nothing is definitive.
and I could go on writing but for today i think this is enough.
hope you can understand it and also apply some of the things that helped me.
i will continue writing similar posts and also about self-love.
these are my experiences and what has really helped me and i am really happy for this process.
