If you could work for Starfleet would you be a linguist too? Or rather find yourself some nice planet near the Klingon Empire and open a tribble farm?
I don’t know what any of those words mean, but I’m interested in languages and it’s basically the only thing I’m good at that could be useful to others, so yeah - I think I’d be a translator or an interpreter in that world too.
I’m not a big sci-fi person, but I was spellbound by Arrival and the challenge to understand a completely different language system…not to mention, the possibility of interacting with alien beings…there’s this book on octopuses and their language that’s been sitting on my bedside table for months now, and I really have to get back to it. So much wonderful stuff out there.
I guess second best is all I will know ♥ Self-Para (AU)
CHARACTERS → Maeve Clarke, Elliot Clarke, Mr. and Mrs. Clarke, Madeline Coghlin, mentions of Jacob Coghlin and Shawn King
LOCATION → Maryland, United States
TIME FRAME → May, 1917
GENERAL NOTES → I quite liked it, but it was even better in my mind. Wedding yee
WORD COUNT → 1.152
Shawn had appeared in her life a few days after the funeral, almost on the New Year. He wanted to know the girl Jacob spoken so dearly about. It was nice to have someone to talk about him with – her family would always pity her and avoid the subject; they tiptoed around her, not knowing how to handle her pain. She also didn’t know how to handle herself, but she would have to live with the pain for the rest of her life.
Maeve sighed, pressing her lips together in content and she tried to fake a smile, but even her reflection could tell she was lying.
When Shawn appeared, he was everything she needed at the moment – a friend to mourn with without mind if she looked weak. She was weak and vulnerable; it was her moment to feel like that. Her parents didn’t give her proper time to mourn though, not respecting their own daughter, they needed to make her a decent woman, before she ruined her life – as they claimed –, and that was how the marriage proposals started. Because of her looks, many wanted to wed the oldest of the Clarke’s daughters. She refused a couple of them, pledging her parents to allow her to become just an academic, of even a nun, but they didn’t listen to her. They wanted grandchildren and they wanted her married and decent. She was just the right age and she couldn’t talk them out of it, but she would definitely protect her heart.
Shawn proposed – and it wasn’t unexpectedly. He was quite honest about his intention in asking her father if he could marry his daughter and it was the first time she considered. He was a nice man, he knew her history with Jacob and where her heart was. If he was willing to propose despite knowing it, it could work. However, standing inside her wedding dress, it seemed just a horrible mistake. She couldn’t love him, not as she should. Her heart would always be Jacob’s – her parents shouldn’t put her through it, or the other person for that matter. He would never have all of her and he deserved much better.
“I –“ she turned to her mother to protest. Definitely, Maeve couldn’t do that. “I can’t do it, mom, he deserves someone who loves him fully,” she cried. It was supposed to be Jacob and no one else. To imagine a married life with anyone other than he seemed unbearable. “I just – This isn’t how it was supposed to be!” she complained loudly and her mother approached her, rubbing her thumb on her cheeks to prevent her from crying. “Honey, not everything in life goes how it was supposed to,” she said. Usually, her mother always knew what to say to calm her, but it wasn’t the case at this time. She felt something burning deep inside her. She just wanted to be happy – for herself, for Jacob – but she couldn’t find a single thing to keep her going, not even that rushed wedding.
She held tightly Jake’s tag that she had been wearing as her own now. Her mother tried to dissuade her not to use, but she had already told Shawn she would use – he who always said, “I love you, and that is enough for me”. He would want happiness for his friends and he was going to be there, to celebrate her attempt to be happy. “But mama,” she cried again. Why didn’t she understand that she wasn’t only thinking about herself? Shawn didn’t deserve to have his feelings tied to a hopeless marriage. “He deserves so much more, don’t you agree?” she asked looking to the ceiling. If she cried, she was going to mess her make up. “He is at the end of that aisle, darling, he wants to be with you,” the older Clarke sighed heavily. She knew it was going to be like that, she just expected Maeve to be more recollected. There wasn’t a way to cancel at that point without ruining their reputation.
“Can you call Madeline?” she finally asked.
Elliot, her maid of honor, left the room and a few minutes later she was back with Mrs. Coghlin holding her arm. They were talking happily, and Mae smiled when she saw the smile of the other woman that was like a mother to her, besides her own. “Dear, you look so pretty,” she exclaimed, holding Maeve’s hands and examining the young bride closely. Her eyes stopped on the tag, her son’s tag, near the girl’s heart. “Oh, my God,” she touched the tag with her fingertips. Maeve could see the tears forming in the corner of her eyes, and she could feel on her own. “He would have liked this, I am sure he is watching you now, darling,” Her heart was beating fast, breaking her rib cage – she just didn’t know if it was the anxiety of getting married or the sadness that came with those words. “It should have been him, Madi,” she said tearfully. A single tear fell free, despite her wishes of holding them back. “I know, angel, but he would want you to move on with your life, and maybe happiness will come,” she forced a smile. It was hard for her too, but she was genuinely happy for the young girl. She deserved the world. All they did. Her dead son included – but he wouldn’t have, and the rest of them had to grab the chance he wouldn’t anymore.
Maeve hugged Madeline tightly. She just needed to hear that from someone that knew Jacob as well as she did – or even better. She just needed a reassurance she wasn’t screwing everything up. She knew there wouldn’t be anyone like Jake for her, but if she could just find a way to wake up a little less sad every day, it would have been worth it. She nodded and pointed to the bouquet, which Elliot promptly handed her.
“I am as ready as I can be,” she said and breathed deeply, before leaving her wedding ceremony.
CHARACTERS → Maeve Clarke, Elliot Clark, Mr. and Mrs. Clark, Madeline Coghlin, James Coghlin, mentions of Jacob Coghlin.
LOCATION → Maryland, United States
TIME FRAME → December, 1916
GENERAL NOTES → I quite liked it, but it was even better in my mind
WORD COUNT → 2.133
Winter break, though, and she was free of people in her case. There wasn’t much to do, other than to write him letters – and she had even started a journal he could read when he was back – and plan their wedding. Her parents always had plans for her wedding, ever since they realize that Mae was slightly different from girls of her time, but she never considered she would be asked to wed someone she truly cared and wanted to spend the rest of her life with. She thought her parents would pressure her to marry a good man for the sake of her decency. Finally, she could understand why women would go frenetically about marriage.
It was another morning, a few days before Christmas, and she had decided that she needed to share her excitement with someone. The day was still rising, but Maeve was already wide awake, looking through the window, anxiously. It was too early for the mailman, but she could already wake Elliot up – even if her sister would hate her forever for it. She tiptoed her way to her sister’s room. Elliot, for her parent’s disliking, was as different and peculiar as Maeve – maybe not as much, but she definitely shared the inner rebel of her sister and they had little regard to the social conventions. Mae pushed the door that creaked loudly and she bit her lip. The house was still quiet after that and she sighed relieved.
Elliot seemed to be still sleeping, but Mae jumped on the edge of her bed, causing her sister to wake up slightly scared. “Jesus,” she exclaimed, looking around quickly before her eyes stop on Maeve. “Are you out of your mind?” she complained, letting her body fall backwards in the mattress and the older couldn’t help but laugh. Not only she wanted to share that with Elliot – after keeping a secret for so long already – but she also wanted her sister to be her maid of honor. Of course, she could see her sister getting reluctantly, but she was probably going to support her. That was what the Clarke’s sisters always did for each other.
“I have something to tell you, silly,” she whispered. For a moment, she lost her words. If there was a way for her to show… She thought for a second before pulling the letter from her gown, she always carried it with her – the paper was already yellowish and the edges were frazzled. “I – am engaged,” she handed the letter to her sister. The letter and those three words had been very explanatory already. Her sister frowned for a second and opened the letter. She watched Elliot as she read – she wanted her sister to be as excited and happy as she was, but it was probably too much to ask. “Oh,” her sister mumbled, folding the letter back again, “this is… This is great, Mae!” There was a moment of hesitation there, but she smiled. “Are you sure? There’s…” she didn’t complete the sentence, but Maeve knew what she was going to ask. “Yes, Ellie, and I want you to be my maid of honor,” she added smiling from year to year. “I’d be more than happy to, sis,” she smiled and gestured to Maeve to leave, “now shoo” she couldn’t help but smile before leaving – at least, she had someone to share her happiness with.
Maeve went back to her bed, but the day was still slowly rising. She laid back on her bed, staring at the ceiling while the first rays of sun entered her room. She heard as everyone woke up, slowly, and she did the same. It was mail time anyway.
“Morning,” she greeted everyone in the kitchen as she made her way to the outside, not caring she was still in her nightgown. People in her neighborhood were already used to her unusual ways. She could feel the wet grass under her bare feet. Mae glanced the Coghlin’s front yard and the swing they used to place, finally her eyes stopped in the two men standing on their porch. They were wearing the military uniform and neither of them was Jake – that could only mean one thing…
“No,” she muttered, “no, no, no, no, no,” she said louder and louder. That was not happening – it couldn’t be happening. She felt her heart skipping a beat and her knees weakened. Before she realized, she kneeled on the floor, grass and soil on her white dress. “No,” she yelled from the bottom of her lungs and the tears started to stream down her face. On the other side, Mrs. Coghlin had just opened the door and she bend the same way as Maeve as soon as she looked those men.
“We are sorry to inform, Mr. Coghlin,” one of them started to say, but they didn’t need to finish – everyone on the street knew what had just happened. Elliot ran outside, throwing herself nearby her sister and wrapping her arms around Maeve. “E-Ellie,” she cried, trying to point to the men, but she couldn’t move. She just felt helpless. She felt like part of her was dead, and it was. She had just lost part of her life at that moment. The most important part. One of the men let his tag fall in Jake’s mother's hand and that was the last thing she saw before her father pick her up and bring her inside.
The sound of herself and Madeline heart breaking was echoing in her mind. She kept her eyes closed, because she was scared that if she opened, she was going to see the reality – a reality in which Jacob wasn’t in it.
The first couple of days after she heard that Jacob was truly dead, she didn’t move from her bed. She couldn’t – the part of her that had the desire to live was in a shallow grave with Jacob somewhere in Europe. She heard her parents talking about a memorial. They sound unsure if they were going to tell Maeve about it or not, but that was the first thing that made her move again. She was going to pay her last respects for her best friend, her Jacob, her one true love.
It was Christmas’ day. Usually the celebration of life – it had become a sad day for her. She woke up before the sunrise and entered in the shower. Maeve let the hot water flow over her skin, burning every inch of it. She was hoping that the physical pain was going to numb the emotional pain, but it was more than stings of constant pain; it was an emptiness, a void, consuming her. The tears started to blend in with the water and it took her mother to turn off the shower and wrap a towel around her body to make her move. “I – I ca-ca-can’t, mom,” she cried. She always knew that losing Jacob would have a horrible impact on her life, she just didn’t imagine that would take all life from her. “Oh, honey,” her mother said, caressing Mae’s hair slowly. She knew that her mother wanted to say something to make her feel better – but at the same time she was glad that her mother didn’t say anything, because she couldn’t understand it. It was her pain and only hers; no one could easy or help her to carry. She was going to be alone with the loss of Jake.
Her mother led her back to her bedroom and slowly Mae calmed herself and started to dress in black. She knew that it was because her constant crying crisis that her parents didn’t want her to go, but she was still somewhat an adult, and she had to be there. If Jake was somewhere else – she was sure he would be looking for her there and she didn’t want to disappoint him. She finally placed her hat, pulling the net above her face and pushing a single tear out. Maeve grabbed the last letter she wrote before everything crashed down and she left her house with her family.
During all her life, she had lived in Maryland. She knew all the streets – she had walked through them with Jake. Everything that once seemed so full of life, at that moment, seemed dead, even though nothing had changed. She bit her bottom lip, folding the letter in her hands multiple times while her parents drove into the cemetery. Mae breathed deeply, trying not to burst into tears as soon as they parked. Her father helped her out and escorted her to seats as close as they could, without hurting the family space, but when she was about to sit, James excused himself and approached her. “Maeve,” he said. His voice was very similar to Jake’s and she felt the desire to start crying burning inside her again. “Yes?” she asked hesitantly. James offered his hands to her. “We have a sit for you,” he said and smiled weakly. They always had welcomed her as one of them – when she was only his friends. Did they know? Would they say anything? Was that what this was about? She was confused, but she grabbed his hand and nodded to her family, sitting beside them.
“… Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”
Every word was like a sword deep in her soul. The preacher was talking to him, to her, about him… It was all too touching. After that, she was sure she wouldn’t get up her bed in a while. It was draining her emotionally and psychically. She was ready to go home and stay there – her life was over without ever starting. Finally, the cadets started shooting into the sky. It was a beautiful ritual – she thought, but as they shot, she could only think of a battlefield, Jacob running from one side to another, trying to help his friends, blood and more blood, and soldiers dropping down like flies. Her heart ached. She led her hands to her ears to muffle the sound, but someone took her hand. His sister was holding her right hand tightly.
The flag was folded in front of their eyes and offered to Madeline, who took her hand and led to the flag, and they both accepted it. “It is yours, darling,” the woman said letting it go. “I don’t want something that took him from me,” Mae knew that she should do it too, but she couldn’t. She wanted to hold on to the little stuffs as dear life. The older woman dropped her hand in her pocket and pulled the tag, putting it over the flag. “And this,” she smiled weakly and dried the tears off her face, before turning away to leave.
Maeve stood there, holding the two last things anyone could have from James. “Thank you,” she whispered, but the woman was already too far to listen to her. Everyone started to leave, slowly, greeting the family. There were many nods in her direction, but she wasn’t paying any attention. She walked to his tombstone and kneeled on the ground in front of it. The grass was as wet as the day she knew what happened. “Hi,” she touched the cold stone, feeling stupidly emotional and that was unlike her. “I just want to let you know that I love you and I will never forget you, Jake,” the whispers were starting to get lost on the wind. “I love you, my Jake, always, in all ways, forever,” she placed the last letter on the ground, before walking back to the car, heads down and tears falling straight on the ground.
