#auctober2024

[jstillman98]

DAY 11 - Unlearning Ableism

In case you need to hear it today...

You deserve love, and you deserve to live. Thank you so much for being here. 💛💜❤️

[youdontlookautistic]

Auctober: Individualism.

This one is late, and I was gonna do the whole month, but let me explain.

This comic is what made me survive October. About a week ago I was forced to go no contact with my entire family, for 2 years, because they couldn’t respect me or my boundaries. I held on to this, my truth, as I struggled to deal with their abuse. Abuse I hadn’t been able to truly recognise until the past 6 months, that all came to a head now.

It has been a… revelation, let’s use that word. It’s been a revelation to realise I’ve grown up in a family I specifically wasn’t allowed to be disabled in. The ableism was so hard core it arcs into ego and narcissism.

I wasn’t allowed to have needs or wants, I was expected to be independent even though it was obvious to everyone outside my family that I needed support, and help. And if I wasn’t, I was shamed, controlled, ignored, dismissed, invalidated.

And while the pain of going no contact with those I truly, honestly believed supported me the most has threatened to bury me, I now hold onto my self. I hope and trust that there’s something in me that can help others. It’s my self that is my oxygen mask, in the darkest night.

I’ve never had that before.

AND IT’S AMAZING.

Also as a 2nd year art student this is my first comic.

@autiebiographical ran the month of Auctober! Thank you.

[autiebiographical]

Day 11 of Auctober!

Internal ableism is so hard to unlearn. It's a big part of my self esteem issues.

You're not a burden. You're not a disappointment. You're not a mistake. You are awesome!

[oswald-can-draw]

It’s hard to remember that I have a disability, especially in the “if no one can tell, you’re not disabled, you aren’t” society that we live in.

I find myself making socially acceptable excuses for my burnout/inattentiveness/awkwardness. Sometimes that’s for the best, but it can be exhausting. There’s only so many “just tired”s and “just woke up from a nap”s that I can throw out before the mask starts to slip.

I feel like everyone else has this capacity that I don’t, this extra space that, no matter how hard I work, I cannot reach. I am not miserable in my existence, and I do not want to be cured, but autism can be very heavy, especially when I’m trying to explain myself.

[heumilch]

AUCTOBER day 22: Disabled

An october art challenge by @autiebiographical

I got an offical diagnosis for my learning disabilty as a child, but it did not help me as much as it should have

[bellalikesgarfield]

Auctober Day #16 Autistic Pride

I feel most proud when i meet other amazing autistic individuals 💪

[zoobiefish]

Day 10: Self-Advocacy

Having a neurodevelopmental disability often means getting talked over, unfortunately. The moment they know I’m Autistic, most people tend to treat me as if I’m a child. I know this is sadly the experience of most of us on the spectrum. I’m a university student in my mid-20s earning an honours bachelors degree in psychology, yet I often get spoken down to. Not only that, but I’ve had people treat me outright with hostility when they found out I was Autistic; like I was a nuisance just for existing. I’m in a precarious position because I’m also considered “high functioning” by clinical standards. In no way am I saying “I have it worse” than “low functioning” Autistics, not by a long shot—nor am I saying our experiences are comparable. This isn’t any kind of “oppression olympics” or competition of any kind. But as someone who is “high functioning,” and considering this is my post, I will be talking about my personal experience and the specific nuance that comes with it. Additionally, please know that I’m not a fan of “functioning labels.” I am only using them here to describe myself as I would be described in clinical terms. Anyway, being high functioning means very specific and often contradictory expectations are put on me. I often don’t “look Autistic enough” for people to take my disability seriously. And anytime I’m legitimately struggling because of my very real disability, I get told to “suck it up” or that I’m “faking for attention” or something along those lines. I’m privileged enough to be able to speak and advocate for myself, yet it often still falls on deaf ears. At best, I’m just treated like a child and not the adult that I am. At worst, I’m treated like a pest. I need support, but I don’t need it “enough” in people’s eyes to “justify” needing it. I’m a leech in their eyes. I find being high functioning means that I feel compelled to mask more too. I recognize that being able to mask at all is a privilege, but it doesn’t make it any less stressful. Everyone expects that because my Autism is “mild,” I have some sort of unwritten duty to be performatively neurotypical 24/7. And that is cognitively exhausting. I just had several major tests in my uni program and I’m finally on break for a week, but I’m so burnt out now. I wanted to do a more relevant drawing for today’s prompt but then I thought “you know what? My art *is* my self-advocacy. So I’m gonna advocate by being honest about how tired I am.” I need a break. I need less stimulation. I need less expectations. I need to shut the blinds to my room and curl up with a favourite show. I have advocated my needs now.

[rusty-clockworks]

Auctober prompt 28: safe foods

My autistic safe foods: a Moodboard