IS IT CASUAL NOW? PT 2 ~ TOUYA TODOROKI
The aftermath of you finally ending things with Touya.
It’s hot. So hot that it’s all Touya can think about.
Touya sighs. He can lie so easily, but unfortunately never to himself. He’s not wearing a shirt, just the thinnest pair of shorts he owns. The rickety fan he’d stolen from his dad’s place is pissing him off more than it’s cooling him down. The Todoroki’s all ran hot, Touya the worst. It was a curse passed down from his father and Touya just loved how alike the two of them were. In the winter he wore a hoodie at best, and in the summer he melted. It’s why he found himself in your bedroom on the night/ he couldn’t sleep. You were so cool, your bedroom so still. It’s the only reason he did it. It was nothing to do with you.
Lying again. Touya wishes he could just erase you from his brain sometimes. Cut out the last two years of his life, forget all of it. Because that’s when it started. Not when he met you, but when he started feeling. It’s why he proposed the whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing. Too scared to own up to anything but separate enough he’d do anything to get the chance to touch you. He thinks forgetting might be easier than admitting he has feelings for you. But you’ve embedded yourself in everything. He thinks if he slips far enough in his duvet he’ll smell you, that sweet perfume that drives him crazy. There’s a sock too girly and pink to be his on the floor. Pictures of you he hasn’t hung up but burn holes in the bottom of his closet. And Shoto’s incessant nagging to see you again.
It’s been two weeks and three days since he’s last seen you. Touya doesn’t think he’s gotten a good nights sleep since. And if that wasn’t bad enough, the bags under his eyes and the ache of his bones, Shoto is determined to remind him every second of every day. Asking where she is, why isn’t she coming over anymore, how did he ruin it. It’s beyond him how a six year old can read the room so well but that’s besides the point.
You were good with Shoto, though. He remembers the first time you’d met him. He’d walked in on you throwing him in the air and the brat was laughing. He barely did that with him, let alone with a stranger he’d never met. And it stirred something in him. Like maybe one day he could have that with you. A little kid that looks like him, or has that same smile as you. So bright he can’t even look at you for too long.
Touya sits up abruptly. Maybe a cold shower will help. He saunters to the bathroom and raps on the door.
“Occupied!” Fuyumi’s voice rings out. He hears the rush of water and he curses under his breath.
“Hurry up.”
“Shut up, I haven’t even started yet.”
Fuyumi took ages in the shower. All girls did and he had no idea why. You took forever. He could hear you singing sometimes. You didn’t sound the best but you were enjoying yourself. At least when you were taking ages he could join you. That’s when Touya found you the most attractive. Water running down your back, hair slicked back. He loved it the most when you used his shampoo, when you smelt like him. He could close his eyes and pretend for a moment you were somewhere else, just the two of you. That you were together.
He can’t help it. Touya can try to distract himself but it all ends up with you.
Your face. Tears rolling down them, ones he put there. He wanted to comfort you. Tell you that he didn’t think you were just somebody he fucked. It killed a little part of him to say that to you because he could see how much it hurt you. Physically see something inside you change and the tears that had been welling in your eyes finally falling. The way you’d stormed out. The fact you’d removed him from everything, every social media, even Spotify. His message pinging back the one time he tried to text you. The fact you’d called him Todoroki.
The issue is, Touya is cursed. It’s right there in his last name. Todoroki. You knew, of course. You knew all about his father. He’d sat you down once in the back of his car. Each of you with your backs against the window, a pack of gummy bears split open in front of you. And he showed you. Showed you each scar that his father had left at his hands. And then after that, Touya had told you everything. About his mother. About how he treated her. How he hit her, yelled at her. Made her cry like he’d made you cry.
That’s the harsh reality Touya has to face.Because unfortunately for him, he’d spent most of his life with his father. Thirteen long years with him, more than enough time to pick up all those horrible traits the man harboured. Touya was always the most like him. Short temper, quick to argue. And he’d read about it, too. Poured over psychology books and articles when the worries got too bad. Your childhood is where your character was built apparently, where your habits were learnt. Where you’re moulded into the person you’ll grow up to be, all based on the way your parents raised you. And it didn’t take a genius to realise his hadn’t been that good.
And if all that he’d seen was true, then Touya couldn’t do that to you. Couldn’t be his father. You were so perfect. You were way too good for him, for all the shit he’d bring you. You didn’t deserve to put up with that. And he knew you wouldn’t listen if he told you that so he had to get rid of you the only way he knew how.
But god, did he indulge in it. In you. Touya didn’t think you’d notice, that it was that obvious. How he couldn’t help but kiss you so tenderly. How he’d hold you any chance he got, had acted bothered when you got along so well with his family. Touya wasn't strong enough not to enjoy you while he had you.
He decides to go downstairs. The house feels stagnant. The windows are open and the curtains his mother had fashioned out of old clothes fluttered in the little wind that blew in from outside. The house was so much smaller than their old one but Touya felt like he could breathe here. It was crazy how much different life was without his father. How free they felt, the weight on his family’s shoulders gone.
His mothers in the kitchen. She’s making bread, he thinks, judging by the flour dusted all over the kitchen. They’re allowed to leave messes like this now. Touya opens the fridge, eyes closing at the cold air that blasts in his face. He grabs a coke. The can cools his palms and he’s half tempted to use it as an ice pack.
“Touya, come help me for a second.” His mother says. He glances over at her. Her hands are white with flour and she points to the bag of it beside her.
“Pour some for me.” Touya sighs, slightly, but listens. He turns to leave once she’s done but she stops him.
“Stay for a bit. Keep your mother company.” She pouts. Touya sighs. This time loudly. He sits down regardless. He takes another drink and the coke tastes like you, the two of you arguing, and he leaves it to the side.
“How have you been, Touya?”
“Fine.”
“Don’t lie to me.” Her voice isn’t stern but it has that mother tone to it that Touya, even at eighteen, can’t compete with.
“What do you want me to say?” He snaps. She doesn’t answer. Just point/ again.
“More flour please.” Touya pours more. He puts the bag down with a little more force than necessary.
“I’m your mum, Touya. I know when you’re not okay. And I’ve also noticed much less of Y/N around the house.”
Touya shakes his head. “This- it’s nothing to do with her.”
“So there is something wrong?” His mother is smiling slightly, proud of herself.
“Wow. So intuitive, mum.”
She sighs. She dusts off her hands on her apron. As annoying as she’s being, Touya can’t help but love it. It was rare she spoke much when his father was around and he finally feels like he’s learning who she is now that he’s gone.
“You two break up?”
“We were never together.”
His mother perks an eyebrow. “Really? In my day, two people hooking up were considered together.”
“Ew- Mum!” He wrinkles his nose. “Don’t- that’s disgusting.”
“I’m not stupid, you know.”
“Well, it’s over. We- She ended things.”
She furrows her brows. “Well that’s not right.”
“What do you mean?”
His mum hums. “Well. She loves you. Why would she end things if she loves you?”
Touya’s eyes are fixed on the table. He shakes his head. “No. She doesn’t love me.”
“She does.”
“Well, she shouldn’t!” He stands up. Runs a hand through his hair and it feels like yours, and he pulls it back like he’s burnt.
His mother is calm. Just watching him. “And why not?”
“Because- because. You know why, mum.” His voice sounds so weak. So pathetic. If only his father could see him now.
“I don’t. Tell me.”
“I-I can’t do it to her, mum. It’s not fair on her.” Touya says.
“But why?”
“Because why if I’m like him?”
His voice cracks, splinters his words in half. His mum looks at him then, like she might cry. There’s something in her face he can’t decipher but it’s out there. He’s said it, the thing that keeps him up at night, that eats at him.
“Honey, you’re not like him.”
“But what if I am?” So pathetic. He feels the prickle of tears and he hates how easily he cries, always has, ever since he was a kid.
“We don’t know. I’ve never been in a relationship, not a real one. What if- what if I was with her and I hurt her. Like he hurt you. I can’t do that to her, mum.”
She storms forward then. Her hands, still floury, grasp his shoulders. Touya should protest but he doesn’t, not when her touch grounds him. It always has.
“You listen to me, you are not your father.”
“What if I am? I’m the most like him, we all know it.”
She shakes her head. “No, honey, you’re not. I spent 15 years with that man. And you are nothing like him. You’re kind and you care for me and your siblings. For the people you love. He never did. And your anger, it’s superficial. You’d never hurt anyone. I know you wouldn’t.”
Touya doesn’t say anything. Just listens.
“Don’t let him ruin your life. I should’ve left sooner, for you. For all of your siblings.”
“Don’t blame yourself, mum.”
“It doesn’t matter. He’s no longer here, honey. Don’t let him ruin your life even when he’s not in it.”
Touya breathes in shakily. Wipes at his face furiously. “Okay.”
She rubs his shoulder. Smiles, something bittersweet. “Good boy. Now go talk to Y/N.”
Touya nods. “Okay.”
“And put a shirt on before you go.” He watches his mum's eyes linger on the scars across his body. She turns away and so does he.
“I will.”
“Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
—————
You hate romcoms. Such stupid awful movies, you think.
Your friends had been over earlier in the day but you wanted to be alone. You’re trying to distract yourself by watching your favourite movies, eating shitty snacks. The issue is, all your favourite movies are about love. Perfect, sappy romances that end with kiss and sex in someone’s bedroom. You hate it. It’s doing nothing but reminding you of him.
Scum. Awful. Horrible. You hope that maybe if you call him enough names in your head you’ll get over him. Or maybe if you eat enough chocolate. At least Noah Centineo looks good in this movie. His peak, you like to think.
A knock at the door stirs you out of your thoughts. You were going to ignore it, but the knocking gets more frantic, and you swear, pushing through the pile of tissues you were sitting in.
“Alright, I’m coming.”
You don't bother cleaning yourself up. You couldn’t care less who’s on the other side of the door.
“You can chill out, okay, the door is not going any-“
Touya. Touya is standing at your door. While you look like absolute shit. But you don’t care. You shouldn’t care. Touya looks worse. His hair is all tussled and you know he’s been messing with it. He always does when he’s bothered by something. His eyes are a little red and you think he may have been crying.
“Fuck off.” You go to slam the door in his face but he puts an arm out.
“Please, wait. Can we talk?”
“Sorry, I’m not in the mood to fuck you. And that’s all I’m for, right?” You smile viciously, and push against the door. He won’t let it go though.
“Y/N, I was wrong. Just let me explain, and-“
“Explain what?” You fling the door open and he falls back slightly.
“Explain what, Touya? It’s been two weeks, and now you want to explain?”
He swallows. “I should’ve come sooner.”
“Yeah, you should’ve.”
“I was wrong. About everything.” He pleads, inching closer to the door.
You breathe heavily. You rub your eyes furiously and start walking away.
“Come on then.” You snap.
Touya obeys. He walks in quickly before you can change your mind. You sit down on the couch and he sits next to you. It’s silent for a moment. You don’t look at him. You can’t because you know if you do, you’ll forgive him in a second.
“You home alone?” He asks.
You pick at your cuticles. A bad habit you can’t crack. “Yes.”
You think Touya nods. You don’t want to look and check. You pull too hard and one of them starts bleeding.
“Don’t do that.” He says softly, pushing your hands apart. His skin is warm and you pull your hands into your lap. You shake your head.
“What do you want?”
“I love you.”
Touya speaks the words quickly. Like you did before, like he’s going to explode if he doesn’t get them out. You do look at him then, and he’s already looking at you. Eyes wide, so blue and searching you think he might be looking into your soul.
“You- You what?” Your voice almost comes out in a whisper.
“I love you. I always did. You were right, you’re not just somebody I fuck. I-i didn’t mean that. I’m sorry.” His voice cracks.
“Then- Why did you say all that stuff then? Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
The two of you turn, move closer to cover. You don’t even notice, not until his knees are touching yours and that cologne he always uses, woodsy and cool, tingles your senses.
“I was scared. I am scared. I’ve never done this before, Y/N.” He looks down for a second. Looks back up at you.
“I was scared that. That I'd be like my father. End up as cruel as he was. I couldn’t put you through that.”
And it makes sense then. Slowly you piece it all together. Why he sent you such mixed signals. Why he was so distant with you and yet so close, always one step from taking things too far.
“Oh, Touya.” You grab his hand, and it’s warm. It always is.
“I know it’s stupid. But I watched him torment my mother for 13 years. And. What if I was like him? I couldn’t deal with it. It drove me crazy. Every time I got close to you, I’d freak out and I’d pull back.”
You squeeze his hand and he grabs it with both of his, squeezing back.
“I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t mean what I said, none of it. I swear.”
You breathe shakily. “You didn’t?”
“Of course I didn’t. I love you. That I mean.”
You stare at him. Part of you whispers that you shouldn’t trust him. A small part of you that’s still angry he let you wallow for two long weeks with no effort, no contact. But the rest of you. The rest of you is looking at Touya. Who has tears threatening to fall if he blinks just once more, who’s hands are shaking in your own. Touya, who told you everything, had cut himself open and shown you every part of himself he’d hidden from the world. And despite how angry you are, were, you can’t deny that.
“I don’t expect you to forgive me straight away. I understand, I said some really shitty things to you. But fuck, please. Give me a chance to fix this.” He whispers.
Before you can even think you press your lips to his. His hand, soft and calculated, reaches up to cup your cheek and it spurs you into action. You practically fall on him, one hand grabbing his shirt and the other carding through his hair. Oh, and it’s as soft as you remember, white curls tangling in your fingers as you sigh into his mouth. You're straddling his lap now and his back presses against your couch. Touya makes a noise, then, something desperate. He breaks apart and the two of you are breathless. He stares at you for a second before his lips are kissing your jaw, down your neck. He sucks a mark on the spot between your neck and your shoulder and you shiver.
“I’m so sorry, baby. I missed you so much.” He whispers into your skin.
You laugh slightly, and pull him away. “Easy, Touya. I don’t forgive you that much.”
He looks hopeful, despite the blatant rejection of his advances. “So you forgive me?”
You hum, fingers tracing over his skin. “Yeah. I do. Just because I miss Shoto, though.”
He snorts. Places a kiss on your forehead, your cheek. “Good. The little brat won’t shut up asking about you.”
“Really?”
“Don’t look so excited. I saw you first.”
You giggle, falling besides him. You lean into his arm, one leg tangling with his. It’s so simple, so easy to fall into the same routine. You think you should maybe be madder, but you can’t. Not at Touya. You think of the faces of your friends from earlier today and you wince.
“Look, I forgave you pretty easy, but you’re gonna have to put some in work with my friends. You can’t just kiss their anger away.” You raise an eyebrow and he tilts his head.
“You sure?”
“Don’t push it.”
guys I physically can’t have angst without a happy ending sorry not sorry 🙈 also plz leave me requests I’m aching to write but I have no idea what!!