Homelander, I am so fucking sorry that the soulless blood-soaked nazi-built mega-corporation that dehumanized you and tortured you physically and psychologically from the moment you took your first breath, in ways that are almost incomprehensible to the human mind, all for capitalistic greed… got to walk away from this series completely unscathed and intact and ready to make more hopeless monsters exactly like you.
You had to go, that’s true. You were a monster that could not be rehabilitated. But you were a monster that Vought made. You should have at least gotten to take Vought down with you. But that wasn’t in the cards I guess. Supes still exist and Vought still exists, and because of that, somewhere in the world in a laboratory deep underground another little child just might exist with a future as hopeless as your own.
Secondly- look how neatly he put that suit down for some reason it resonates with me. My baby.
Also. I can’t with the star themed duvet and the fluffy blanket. The best thing about his character is how they make him so complex with these little things. Like??? I could write an essay on all that compulsive behavior, details, this freaking penthouse-tho @deliciouskeys did it soooo weeellll. And then they give us trump allegory… but @blindmagdalena already summed that up perfectly
omg!!! I know it isn’t in your writing list but could you please do more regressor Homelander headcanons 🙏
it’s crazy how little agere content there is of him! Like he’s soooo little! I was so happy when I saw your headcanons! Babylander has infected my brain like a little parasite lol
Btw, do you headcanon any other The Boys characters as regressors too? The Deep gives me strong regressor vibes but I feel like he wouldn’t know what it is lol.
(Obviously if you don’t want to answer feel free to ignore no worries)
(I have had this in my inbox for a little while! I don't like the edginess of the boys, but I will admit there's many characters ripe for making littles. The Deep, A-Train, Black Noire, Hughie. The list is endless in my opinion.)
He pouts at literally everything. If he doesn't get his way, his first response is to pout and look before throwing a tantrum.
He's extremely polite, surprisingly. One would think he's a total brat he is but he uses his manners when speaking to his Papa/Mama. Saying "please" and "thank you" as well as "Yes Papa/Mama" is a shock, and it's downright jarring when he combines it with being a brat.
He's been a bedwetter ever since he was young. He still gets embarrassed about it and won't tell his caregiver if he needs a change. Morning changes are a hassle for him, so it's better for his Papa/Mama to change him while he's still asleep.
He is not a morning person. He whines when his caregiver has to wake him up or tries to change him.
He enjoys nicknames from his caregiver! He likes being called Johnny, Bluey, and Little One. He also blushes when he's called stinker, brat, or baby.
He's extremely sensitive not only emotionally but also his skin as well. He has really bad reactions to certain products, and even he didn't realise how bad it was until he had a breakout from ointment.
Emotionally, he gets offended easily, and his hypersensitivity comes out typically in anger. However, when he's sad, he's known to cry for extended periods of time.
Homelander age regression headcanons. Caregiver!Reader.
DNI if you ship him with anyone, especially Ma.delyn/Ma.eve/Stor.mfront/Fir.ecracker/etc. DNI ag.eplay/nsfw/kink/abdl/kink/pr.oship/etc.
I use my own personal version of Homelander, I do not support the canon version nor his actions.
-Baby regressor, 0-1 in age. Sometimes toddler regressor, 2-4. Mostly makes noises, can speak but chooses not to.
-Trauma regressor, oftentimes regression isn't voluntary. He tends to regress when he gets stressed out. He locks himself in his penthouse to calm down.
-Before you, he usually stayed in his costume. But after you graced his life, he lets you spoil him with regression items. He gets a fluffy footed onesie to keep him warm, baby blue fabric with little yellow ducklings on it. He still chooses to wear his cape, as it's a comfort item for him. He'll use it as a blanket.
-He's often fussy and demands attention from you. Tends to cry out of frustration. He can't quite help when he cries, as regression is when he can finally allow himself to feel his emotions. The best way to help him through it is to hold him and let him cry it out. Rock him back and forth and remind him that he's a sweet baby, your sweet baby.
-Chooses to stay in one spot assigned to him by caregiver. He cries when something is out of his reach, even if he can scoot over to get it- he wants constant attention, after all!
-His favorite items to regress with; a custom decal binky (pacifier) with 'Babylander' printed, a golden retriever stuffed animal (named Lucky), his fav onesie above, and a box of tissues (out of necessity, really).
-Does occasionally wear diapers but doesn't use them. He's still very shameful about it, as he works through his trauma. He tries to hide it from you but with gentle encouragement, he becomes more open about it.
-His favorite snacks; graham crackers, dry cereal, yogurt, plain potato chips, french fries/tater tots, and baked potatoes.
-His favorite meals; Mac n cheese with hot dog slices, any kids meal at a restaurant (pretends to hate fast food but secretly loves it. Make sure he gets his toy!), tray dinners like these, cheese pizza, and spaghetti.
-Loves taking baths! You deck him out with products for his bathtime- bath crayons, fizzes, rubber duckies, and special shampoo. He likes using baby lotion afterwards and will appreciate your help getting spots he can't quite reach. It's important to care of your baby's skin!
-After a bath, he wants to be tucked in his outfit with his puppy toy and his binky. He wants to be cuddled by you and spoken to, either telling/reading a story or singing a song. He appreciates your voice grounding him and reminding him that he's safe and loved.
