“Right,” said the ghostbuster wannabe. “The caretaker said the ghost was back here. He clicked on a flashlight and waved it in a silly fashion. “Hellooooooooo. Are you heeeeeeeeere?”
“What if the ghost doesn’t speak English?” His assistant asked timidly.
“I mean....what if it was a person from another country? An immigrant or something. It might not understand us.”
Wannabe rolled his eyes. “Ich weiss nicht.”
“I don’t know!” Wannabe snapped.
The assistant frowned. “Don’t know what?”
“No. ‘I don’t know.’ It’s German.” Wannabe moved down the hall.
“Is what German?” The assistant said. He didn’t see the tendrils of shadow crawling out of the wainscoting, crawling towards his spine.
“Ich weiss nicht,” Wannabe sighed. “It’s German for-,” he turned around and froze. “Gott im Himmel!”
“Who’s Himmel?!?” The assistant cried. Wannabe pointed behind him in terror. The assistant turned and saw a badly burnt man with no eye sockets, just before the man grabbed him by the throat. His jaws stretched out, as if to swallow the assistant whole.
“NEIN!” Wannabe shouted. “Er ist mein freund! Lass ihn gehen, du schweinehund!”
The ghost (for it was indeed one) dropped the assistant, who clunked to the floor. He lay there like a slug: it was his only defense.
The ghost stepped over him. “Was war das?” He demanded, with a dangerous cock of his head.
Wannabe frantically whipped out the wand of his proton pack. “Er...er...ja. Du bits ein schweinehund. Und mein hund hat keine Nase!” His hands shook badly, as he pushed a button and the wand lit up. The ghost was nearly upon him.
“Du sprichst scheisse Deutsch,” it growled. “Dein Seele gehört mir!” It grabbed Wannabe’s throat....
...Just in time for Wannabe to stick the wand in its mouth. The wand gave a shrill buzz, before the ghost blew up into ectoplasm. Chunks flew everywhere. It was like green boogers.
“Are you okay?” Wannabe asked the assistant. He nodded and let Wannabe help him up.
“I guess that’s it for Himmel,” he said, looking around at the mess.
“Yes, well,” Wannabe shook out a kerchief and wiped his face. “No more Jerries here.”
“I thought you said his name was Himmel?”
