#baking fails

[starsparkfur]

Cookie Time!

Can you tell I'm into Cookie Run? lol

Meet Magic Cookie, Gingerdave, and Staw Cookie!

[retroremix]

🍰🥤 ☆Sugar Rush

Characters: Infected, Lampert, Poob (Party Noob)

Setting: Poob's Apartment ; The Kitchen

CW: All-caps, swearing, mentions of sharp objects (no harm is done! /srs)

Suggested by: @forsakencollie

Fic type: Shitpost, three traumatized goobers having fun tldr

Author's Note: I might bake smth after this ngl. Also pls be aware this might be somewhat out of character! I haven't see their dialogues in a LOOONG time gulps

Infected and Poob won't have their typing quirks(??) in this

It was a peaceful day in Regretevator. Okay, that's a lie. When is it ever peaceful? Especially for three specific NPCs.... Party Noob, Lampert, and... Kasper? Or Infected. He doesn't exactly go by that anymore. Bummer.

For some odd reason that simply cannot be explained by anyone except for the creators of that universe, they all decided to go to Poob's kitchen. What were they going to do? Well, bake of course! Nothing can go wrong with that, right?

👾

"Kas-.... Infected, stop trying to eat all of the sugar. That's not good for you," Lampert glared at the former, lingering next to Poob as they whisked a bowl of what seemed to be better, "I am not going to drag your sorry ass to your apartment if you pass out."

"Chill, brah. I can limit myself!!" Infected whined playfully, still shoving a handful of sugar into his mouth, "Besidesss, we kinda need sugar for a cake!! What's a cake with no sugar?"

"We're about to find out if you keep this up."

"Nahhhhhh.... You're worrying too much lamp dude lol!"

"Lampert."

"Same thing bro."

Suddenly, Poob whipped around and shoved the whisk into Lampert's hand, startling the poor guy to the point his light turned on. "Christ-" Lampert began, but shut himself up quickly, willing the bulb in his face to dull out.

"Can you guys stop bickering pleaseeee? This is supposed to be funnn!!!" Poob teased the others with a laidback tone, clearly not too offended by their back and forth. It was probably the funniest thing ever to them, honestly.

"Yeahh, lamp guy. It's supposed to be fuuuunnnn!" Infected drawled playfully, putting the container of sugar dangerously close to the edge as he approached his "friend" and wrapped his arm around him. "Ya eva heard of that wordd?"

"Get your disgusting hands off of me." Lampert grimaced in disgust, shoving Infected away. He did not wanted to be touched by someone so diseased, even if it was his friend.

"OH! Hey guys-" Poob began, but was shortly cut off by Infected.

"Dude, what the hell was that for?" Infected raised an eyebrow, not too fazed from the shove. That didn't mean he wasn't feigning offense, though.

"You were touching me. Kasper, do you not know the absolute filth that's inside of you??" Lampert glared, his cable tail flicking subtly in mild annoyance. He couldn't bring it in himself to actually be mad.

"Dude, I don't know how many times I've said this, but that ain't my name."

"Yes, it is. You just don't remember it because whatever disease you got fucking made your memory shit."

"Wha-"

All thoughts were broken off by Poob's voice.

"GUYS THE FUCKING SUGAR???"

It had finally tipped over the edge, and it hit against the ground. Since this was Party Noob's apartment, where it was the floor where if you clicked anything it'd explore, the moment it hit the ground, everything exploded. How fun!

Don't bake at 3 AM in Regretevator.

YOU CAN LITERALLY SEE WHERE I LOST MOTIVATION OH MY GOD

[interstellarbeams]

worked for an hour and a half shelling and de-skinning pistachios for my homemade pistachio paste (to make pistachio cheesecake with) and my crust didn’t turn out 😢 now i have to buy more ingredients and try again 🙃

[ineffectualdemon]

I attempted to make a smoothie today

Key word: attempted

I think I made industrial grade glue instead

The lumps are granola I added to try and make it taste better

It did not work

For context I have made many a successful smoothie

However this morning my brain was like "two bananas, some peanut butter, some oatmeal, and (clearly not enough) milk will make a good smoothie'

Morning Bee is an idiot

It was technically edible in that it tasted very nourishing and like you'd be fed it in the workhouse as your one joyless meal a day

So I'm attempting to turn it into muffins

Chocolate chips save everything right?

The theory is if it doesn't make it actually taste good then it will at least be easier to throw away baked rocks then industrial strength glue

[streamlass]

Inspired by @annleckie, I attempted snake bread for St. Patrick's day.

…at least I learned things?

Like that the food coloring can't be kneaded into the dough before the second rise, and that this recipe has a LOT of oven spring (see the coiled snake that turned into a hognose, belly up & playing dead).

And the curse of Grandma's roll recipe (that I can never make a single batch, it's always two) strikes again, so I'll try again Tuesday…

[stateofdilemma]

Getting better at cooking doesn’t always mean you make better meals. Sometimes it means you now know not to use a plastic tablespoon when measuring out boiling hot oil that melts the plastic, or not misreading 1 1/2 as eleven-halves when it means one and a half. Which are both totally hypothetical situations that I totally have not done.

[shikariix]

Im c r y i n g I tried to make bread in the breadmaker but it just didnt rise. At all. Worlds shortest bread 😭

[bunibelles]

I now understand why people say macarons are the hardest cookies to make :’D