Give Me Therapy { I'm A Walking Travesty }
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Peter supposed he should have been thrilled to be sitting amongst The Avengers. They were New Yorks finest, after all. The heroes of the city. The group that had saved the city from Loki’s alien attack. He knew the story as well as the next person. He’d always wanted to sit amongst them. But since he - or Spider-Man- hadn’t been invited to help in the Battle of New York he’d reserved himself to admiring the group from afar.
Until now. Apparently his battle with Electro and The Goblin -Harry - had caught the attention of SHIELD. One thing had led to another and now he was sitting in Stark Tower amongst the legends themselves.
He’d never felt more uncomfortable. He knew he should be honoured. He should have been ecstatic. Instead he’d sat quite in the tower, only speaking when necessary and otherwise thinking about how wrong it was for him to be here. While the avengers babbled about things they done, seen. While they laughed with each other he sat in miserable silence. He wasn’t the hero they were saying he was. He was a fraud.
He had thought the whole point of being a hero was to save people. And when he looked around the room that was all he saw. Tony, who had saved Pepper. Steve, he’d saved America. And he’d saved Bucky - his best friend. Natasha saved Clint. Thor saved Jane.
Peter saved nobody. Not Uncle Ben. He knew he could have saved him. And he didn’t. He didn’t save Harry. Didn’t stop him from hurting himself. Didn’t take action until it was too late. And he didn’t save Gwen. He didn’t save her from falling from the clock tower.
She had trusted him. He’d seen it, in her eyes. For a second while she fell his webbing had caught her and she had looked at him like she had known he would save her all along. Then her head hit the floor and his sunshine, his hope, his love had been snuffed out.
He knew he was blaming himself for everything that went wrong in his life. He didn’t care. He couldn’t stop himself from laying all the fault on himself. But he also knew he didn’t deserve to be amongst these people. These heroes.
They were saviours and he was a failure.
Without saying a word Peter stood up and ran out of the room. He couldn’t stand it anymore. With a rush of movement he left, finding himself in the hall. He heard the talk stop behind him, a startled silence following him. A question hanging in the air. He ignored it all, waiting until he was out of site of the others before he leant against a wall, letting his back slide down it until he sat on the floor, legs drawn up to his chest and a sob stuck in his chest.
- he hoped no one saw him like this
