#barney x reader

[justasecretflower]

TEXTING THE ANIMAL HOSPITAL MAINS✨

A/N- all of these artworks of the animal hospital guys as humans are from _cherubjubilee_ on TikTok. The artwork is seriously crazy good you should check it out! Also, idk why it says ai I use memi! Just clearing that up😭shitpost clearly

Ratthew

Dr Harlow

Ron from accounting

Barney

Tags

[gardenia-lover]

YOUR LAST ANIMAL HOSPITAL WRITING. OOOHUGHHH. i must request something myself IT WAS SO GOOD

barney x another anomaly reader!! yay!! their trying really hard to be normal but their so bad at it and barney IMMEDIATELY knows their an anomaly. i wonder how he’d react, their just like him but also so different at the same time!

—☆ "I'LL MAKE A CUP OF COFFEE FOR YOUR HEAD".

Barney x Anamoly!Reader

TW: None! Just one cuss word:)

a/n: I hate my writing deadass y'all..

You clumsyily treat the patient in Room 2, Almost messing up another 2 times before your brain caught up to what you were actually meant to do.

"Sorry— Sorry! Uh- AHEM! Take care!" You rush out of the room closing the door behind you, And running to the check-in counter that had two patients that clearly were waiting for longer than intended.

"Hurry up!" The patient in the main check-in yelled, Ringing the bell continuously, The sound echoing in your ears.

"I have other things to do, You know.." The patient at the second check-in mumbles, Ringing the bell in a lazy, Entitled manner.

You check them in quickly, Hoping they don't notice your twitching eyes and hunched back, You watch as they go into their assigned rooms, Letting out a sigh of relief.

You finally see a familiar face walk through the hospital doors, Barney.

You grab the coffee, Making sure it's hot enough for him, Before sliding it towards him.

"Hey! Howdy! Uhh.. Here's your coffee!" You blink your unnaturally large eyes at him, Maintaining very intense, Very uncomfortable eye contact.

"Hey, Friend." Barney takes the coffee, Taking a sip while he looks back at you. "I've.. noticed something about you." He adds, Sitting his cup down.

"Oh uh— I don't recall getting a cut hair- HAIR CUT— OH SHIT." You curse, Suddenly realizing your unprofessionalism, You apologize and recover quicker than usual.

".. Friend, I know you're an anamoly." Barney's hands wrap around his cup, Looking straight at you, Awaiting your response.

".. How'd you tell?" You look away, Embarrassed but not threatened by the fact he knew, Because you trusted him enough to know he won't tell on you.

"You have the.. eyes, Hunched back, The twitching, It's easy to tell, Y/N." Barney admits, Chuckling slightly under his breath. "But, I don't think you are.. One of those anamolies, You adapted quickly to this whole "normal" thing, I find that admirable, Friend."

".. Thank you, Barney." You mumble, Fidgeting with your hands, Maybe, Being an anamoly wasn't really as bad.

©2026 original work of gardenia-lover, don't repost/translate my work♡

[reivelmin]

POV: Barney decided to get to know you better by breaking into your apartment

THIS WAS SO RUSHED UGH I HATE IT

Fanfic by @shadow-wolf378 !!

[shadow-wolf378]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Cough.

Yeah it's a Barney x reader. Yup we are doing this now. Trust the process guys I have things planned TRUST THE PROCESS GUYS PLEASE IT'LL GET BETTER I JUST NEEDED TO SET THE FOUNDATION FIRST

Also Mc is the intern but their features are left purposely very vague for everyone's self inserts

[fannyspammy]

Fixing the Yips

Barney Stinson x fem!Reader

18+, hair pulling, fingering, daddy kink, unprotected sex etc

Based on S3E11 “The Yips”

A/N: this came to me while I was rewatching himym and I had to write it down so enjoy

You’d always gotten along with Barney, even though he could be absolutely ridiculous and childish. In fact, it was often your love for fun and adventure that brought you closer— laser tag matches, last minute flights just for a change in scenery, licking the liberty bell…

And you had to admit he was attractive. The suit effect was real, and the fact he wore them every day didn’t stale the fact; you’d never get tired of the sight of him in a suit. Still, you bet he was just as attractive without it. In fact you’d spent a few sleepless nights picturing him suitless, hovering over you (or under you). You were too proud to make a move, though, and although you didn’t know it, Barney was too shy to make a move on you.

But when Barney had run into Rhonda, the woman he’d lost his virginity to, he’d caught a bad case of the yips. You’d never seen Barney this way — so unconfident, so out of it, and you knew the perfect way to fix him.

You walked nervously up to Barney’s apartment, clutching your trench coat in the pockets. Your hair was pinned up loosely, holding your day old curls away from your face, framing it perfectly. When he opened the door he looked surprised to see you. But his face soon returned to its downcast expression as he trudged to the couch and slumped in his seat. His grey sweatpants and blue hoodie were a contrast from how you usually saw him, but you knew you only needed a few minutes to get his confident energy back.

“I heard you had the yips,” you said, stepping out of your heels. He glanced over at you without turning his head. You began to unbutton your coat as you strutted toward him slowly.

“I thought I would help you… fix it,” you said with a gentle bite of your lower lip. Barney turned to look at you, eyeing you up and down as you teasingly pulled back your coat, revealing the flimsy red lace that barely covered your body.

Barney raised his eyebrows. “Y/n what are you doing?” His hands instinctively resting on your thighs as you gently climbed into his lap. Lowering your lips to his ear you whispered, “I told you, I’m helping you.”

With that, you brought your lips to his. The kiss started out sweet and gentle, but soon your tongues were wrestling at a steady pace. Barney tugged on your hair, and you moaned as he pulled your head back, placing sloppy kisses down your neck. Your hair spilled from its pinned position and down over your shoulders as Barney kept pulling your hair and sucking hickies on your neck. You felt a growing wetness in your panties as a sudden need for more of Barney washed over you, and you ground your hips against him to satisfy your craving.

Barney groaned under the movement and you felt him growing under you. You unzipped the hoodie he was wearing and threw it across the room. Wrapping your legs around his waist you pushed your dripping core harder against him and dragged your nails down his chest.

Barney had a hand squeezing your ass and the other freeing your boobs from your bra before squeezing one as his tongue moved toward the other one, teasing the nipple before taking it into his mouth and sucking desperately.

“Mmm, Barney, more, please,” you begged, and he obeyed.

He looked up at you, eyes on yours as he continued sucking your breasts and slid a finger past your panties, through the wetness of your folds and began circling your clit. Encouraged by your moans of pleasure he went faster before thrusting 2 fingers in. Curling his fingers slowly, he watched lustfully as your face contorted in pleasure by his own doing.

“You like that, baby? Daddy making you feel good?” Barney purred into your ear as he pawed your breast roughly with his free hand.

“Mmm, yes daddy, so good… please, more,” you praised him.

“Tell daddy what you want.”

“I want — oh!— to feel you — mmm— in me, daddy… mmm please! I want to cum around your cock!” You said between moans.

Flipping you onto your back, Barney flung your legs over his shoulders and positioned himself at your entrance.

He hesitated before pushing into you. “You sure you want this?” he asked.

“Yes daddy please!”

Holding onto your hips he thrust into you, allowing you a moment to adjust to his size before starting a steady pace. The room was filled with the sound of your moans, your cries of pleasure and the slapping of skin on skin. The more you said his name the harder he thrust into you, hand around your throat, other rubbing your clit as your nails raked across his back, sure to leave marks.

Over and over again you called his name, and with every praise the yips left him, until he was back to his confident sexual self. Soon he was flipping you backwards and forwards, fucking you hard in a dozen different positions. You had already come twice, but were quickly brought into round three so Barney could finish.

About an hour later he had you pinned against his large window, arms held tightly above your head with one hand while the other held your leg up so he could pound into you from behind. When he was finally on the brink of his high he released your arms to circle your clit as he came hard in you, white liquid filling your pussy as you came with him, reaching your third high, a loud cry coming from each of you, your names spilling from your lips as he rode you through your high.

When you’d both caught your breath Barney turned you around so you were facing him. Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, he looked at you for a moment, studying your face before placing a kiss on your lips.

“Thank you,” he said as he pulled away. You smiled at him before meeting him in another kiss.

Then Barney said something he’d never said to another girl.

“Wanna stay the night?”

[thesillyestwilly]

They're sooooooo in love with me 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🤭🤭🤭😮‍💨😍😍💘💘💣💍💍💍🎉🔫🔫

[shadow-wolf378]

Chapter 4 snippet as a sorry for taking so long...

“Well then, I suppose that’s all I have for tonight. I’ll be taking my suitcase back now, thank you, friend.”

You nodded and took out his suitcase from under the counter. Still heavy.

“Of course. It wasn’t a big deal.”

“To me, it very much was. I hope you have a quiet night, fri-”

“FUCK!” You yell, cutting Barney off as your eyes widen, despair begins to stir within you.

This time, Barney actually did jump slightly.

“Why the fuck would say that Barney!?” You groan, already knowing all hell was about to break loose.

Barney stared at you, slightly tilting his head. “Pardon?”

“You said the Q-word dude- why the fuck would you do that to meee…” You whine, burying your head in your hands.

It was so over for you.

[shadow-wolf378]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

chapter 3 is done...yay