la squadra hcs ☆ 🍒
(- prosciutto and risotto bc they been done)
☆ GENERAL HCS ☆
☆ lots of fights (Formaggio is always at the crime scene 💔)
^ even tho they do fight...like a lot they do genuinely care for each other
☆ they are NOT diavolos favorite team
☆ they all basically live at the base
☆ I feel like they are kinda a mix of always sunny in Philadelphia and Workaholics (but they actually do the work)
☆ sleepovers teehee
☆ the WORST people you'll ever meet (- pesci bc he's chill)
☆ they ALL have family issues
☆ zesty group
☆ if one gets sick, the rest are COOKED (it's usually risotto who has to take care of the team)
☆ moive nights are a big thing
^ if not moive nights they do enjoy going out if they have enough money
☆ they have la squadra gc that's originally just for missions but they use it for bullshit now
☆ they did NOT die
☆ when they go out for drinks, OH THEY GET WASTEDDD
☆ has tried to go poly but that ended horribly
^ jealous bitches all of them
☆ truth or dare go crazy with them
☆ risotto and prosciutto often feel like parents talking care of 7 mentally unstable adults (they are too mentally unstable adults)
☆ knowing that any day could be their last, they celebrate each other's birthday even if some (prosciutto) don't don't want anything
^ for prosciutto they go shopping and wine (they may or may not get wasted) and for risotto, the team takes him to a concert for some of his fav bands
☆
☆ la squadras "Doctor" has all the teams medical history
^ college drop out, not bc he was dumb or anything (he passed all his classes) its just bc he's lazy lol
☆ he's slept or tried to with everyone in passion
☆ before passion he was a stripper
☆ wants to sleep with everyone on the team (- Pesci bc he's the teams little brother) but he genuinely likes likes Ghiaccio and wants to be with him in every way
☆ secretly writes fanfics of the team, most of it is n/sfw, he protects them with his LIFEEE
☆ the get naked type drunk, traumatized the team
☆ trashy 2000s music is his SHITTT
☆ stole his iconic motorcycle
☆ he's attracted to everyone, any hole is a gaol
☆ loves trashy reality shows
☆ likes a good horror comedy but doesn't mind other genres
☆ smells likes cheap perfum, bubblegum, and lube (idk if it's good or bad)
☆ has everyones exact feet measurements
☆ always chooses which bar they go too (it's usually either a strip club or a gay bar)
☆ for Melone birthday they go dancing then, getting drunk at the base
^ nobody remembers what happened
☆ he can have sex with anyone but, sex is easy for him but L O V E is the hard thing
☆ I see him on the ace Spectrum, where on the ace spectrum? Idk!
☆ bearly sleeps, huge night owl and loads of energy drinks
^ when he does sleep he's very cuddly also would be up around 2am with chips in his mouth
☆
☆ the most gossipy bitch EVER, he has the tea on everyone
☆ a MESSY relationship with Formaggio, on and off constantly
☆ spys on everyone
☆ very uncreative like his stand, man in the mirror was the only thing he could think of
^ he doesn't even care for mj
☆ the 2nd biggest stoner after Formaggio
☆ takes at least an hour getting ready in the bathroom, he's usually the last ready while the team is waiting for him
☆ music type is a mix of pop and rap
☆ secretly crossdresses (nobody knows and he plans to keep it that way)
☆ knows about melones fanfics
☆ has fallen out of the mirror many times
☆ attention whoree
☆ Illuso is overanalytical about the most random bullshit
☆ during a messy mession, Illuso will remind others in the midst of chaos how good they're being
☆ mlm
☆ can't swim
☆ likes any genres but prefers horror and drama
^ HATES gross moives like fart jokes or body horror
☆ smells like fruit (fruity ahh)
☆ spends most of his money on mirrors (not bc he wants 2) and hair and skin products
☆ speaking of hair, he let's NOONE touch his hair especially after the incident...
^ during a fight with Formaggio, ghiaccio, and Melone. Ghiaccio froze a HUGE chunk of his hair off, he was actually crying (prosciutto never felt more like a parent while having to comfort Illuso and scold the rest)
☆ for llusos birthday, they treat lluso like a princess and go drinking
☆ takes a long time to get ready TO sleep like skin creams and puts hair into a ponytail then goes to bed
^ he kicks and punches when sleeping
☆
☆ Short king, standing at the fun size of 5,4
^ gets teased constantly about it (mostly by Illuso and prosciutto)
☆ HUGE flirt
☆ party animal, usually spends the little amount of money he gets on weed and drinks
^ and spoiling his cat of course
☆ huge stoner btw
☆ cat person, sneaks cats into his room and take care of them
^ his actual actual cat is named tricky
☆ makes very gay jokes (adding a no homo after) and they are mostly towards lluso
☆ music taste is punk and rap
☆ ultimate bro fr
☆ bi
☆ like Melone, doesn't mind other genres but really enjoys comedy and action
☆ LORD THIS BOY REEKSSSSS, usually smells like weed,cats, and BO
☆ his cat (tricky) waits for him at the door every day
^ one day Formaggio just didn't come back (jk he didn't die)
☆ use his stand to hide if he does something bad
☆ speaking of stand, he has tried to do a...cvm jar with one of the men they had to kill
^ ended up flushing it all in the toliet (including the guy)
☆ basically the same when drunk just words are more slurred and he's clumsy
☆ Formaggios birthday, they go party for a bit and then go to the base for a sleepover (they smoke a LOT of weed)
☆ formaggios cat (tricky) is almost always at the base
^ she has favorites, that being risotto
☆ like a bear when sleeps, he's wither clinging to someone/something or he's spread starfish style on the bed
☆
☆ hair FULL of hair spray
^ without hair spray his hair is very fluffy and he despises it
☆ really likes retro games, really just a gamer in gen
☆ MOMMY ISSUESSS
☆ has a crush on Melone and would rather die then say it
^ he's such a tsundere
☆ the 2nd youngest (after Pesci)
^ also the 2nd shortest, 5,6 btw
☆ very...cat-like
☆ grew up is a very snowy area, started ice skating at a very early age
☆ playlist is death metal and nerdcore
☆ probably mlm (idk man they zesty)
☆ the first to fall asleep at the sleep over
☆ LOVES his car, spent months saving up for it and takes care of it like it's his baby
^ he BEARLY let's anyone drive it
☆ a big superhero moive fan, also a horror fan but worst to watch them with bc he's yelling at the characters
☆ smells like blueberries and cologne
☆ lord blessed ghiaccios tighs
☆ it takes while for him to actually drink but he does I feel like he would be a wild drunk, jumping on stuff and like 10x more louder
☆ for ghiaccio birthday, they always go ice staking and them watch superhero moives all night
☆ rode melones motorcycle once, rode melone to-WOAHHH WHATTTT
☆ worst to sleep with, he just sleeps werid idk how to explain it
^ he often wakes up where he did not go to sleep at
☆
☆ huge ally
☆ the youngest of la squadra (17-20)
☆ sees prosciutto as his actual big brother and sees la squadra as his family, since he grew up moving to foster homes to foster homes
☆ wanted to be a sailor when he was little
^ still does but it's just a dream
☆ likes to go to the docks and watch the boats and birds, Pesci loves to talk to the fisherman on the docks and watch them fish
☆ wants to grow his hair out but too afraid to do so
☆ his playlist is ALL over the place
☆ mostly enjoys comedy and romantic moives
^ can NOT do horror, hell be up all night
☆ smells like the ocean, sometimes smells like fish tho
☆ Pesci is not as innocent as the others see him, he's just not a sex crazed hitmen (unlike other people)
☆ sleepy type drunk, bearly gets drunk now after once waking up in the kitchen with a dick drawn on his face with permanent marker
☆ always gets dragged into fights
^ its usually the fights against prosciutto
☆ for Pesci birthday, they surprise pesci with a party, they rent (steal) a boat and then enjoy the night
☆ always wanted a pet growing up but couldn't get one
^ now he has a fish named miumiu, he also loves Formaggios cat
☆ miumiu died and prosciutto got an identical fish and replaced it with/o pesci knowing
^ normally prosciutto would just let pesci know about miumius death...but he's the reason why the fish croaked
☆ heavy sleeper, a bomb could go off and hell still be asleep but a hell fart himself awake
☆
☆ they make out CONSTANTLY, they are so lovey dovey with eatch other
^ others are disgusted while some are jealous
☆ wine aunts (uncles?)
☆ they met in passion (they wasn't in la squadra yet) and fell in love during an heated mission
☆ Gelato is much more talkative than Sorbet, Gelato often talks for him
☆ Sorbet has a VERY dry sense of humor
☆ Gelato smells like maples and Sorbet smells like lotion
☆ both enjoy horror but can't do romance, sorbet is a big moive fan
^ they (mostly Gelato) like romance moives it's just there gonna start making out in the middle of it and never finish it (they will finsh just not the moive)
☆ Sorbet might not talk a lot irl but he very active in the gc
☆ when drunk they are WORST, they are close to actually doing the deed
☆ for Gelato birthday they go camping and for sorbets they go to the moives
☆ Gelato has trouble sleeping in gen and Sorbet can't sleep with/o Gelato
☆
▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄
Notes : this has been in my drafts for a while and had real fun hcs these dummies, also srry for the LOADS of Grammer mistakes English IS my first language I'm just not good at it
