#ben hale

[ben-hale]

Hi. I’m Ben.

I just moved to Seymour’s Bay. And it’s funny… out of every place in this town, I somehow ended up right here. At Bob’s Burgers. Like someone nudged me. Or like I brought myself here.

It’s loud in here, but not the kind of loud that annoys you. It’s the kind that keeps you alive. The little bell over the door. The grill hissing. Dishes clinking somewhere in the back. And the smell… the kind that makes you stop thinking — you just sit down.

Linda smiled at me like we’ve known each other for a hundred years. She poured me coffee. Then another. Then another. And somewhere in between, she managed to tell me half her life story, two stories about the kids, and one story I’m pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to hear. Sometimes she talks like a song. I try not to show that it throws me off a little… but I like it.

Bob appeared for exactly a second, looked at me, nodded — and disappeared back into the kitchen. Like he’d already decided: “He’ll be sitting here a lot.” I don’t know how he does that.

And the kids… oh, those three are like live wires.

Louise whispered something to Gene and Tina. They didn’t laugh. That bothered me more than if they had. And a minute later they were “casually” heading toward Wonder Wharf, acting like they weren’t planning anything at all.

I wanted to finish my coffee and leave. Seriously.

But then Bob set a burger down in front of me. No question. Just set it down. And next to it — a napkin.

On the napkin, there was a tiny drawing. Barely noticeable. Not ketchup. Not grease. A real drawing.

I looked up — Bob was already gone. Linda was humming to herself. The kids had vanished. Like leaving signs for people who just moved into town was the most normal thing in the world.

Today’s verdict: burger — 10/10. Atmosphere — 12/10.

And I took the napkin with me.

I don’t know why. I just… did.

See you tomorrow. If the city allows it.

Disclaimer: This is a fan project / fictional diary. All characters and the world of "Bob's Burgers" belong to their rightful owners. No copyright infringement intended.

[joncronshawauthor]

Walk the Line of Morality: 10 Fantasy Novels with Thieving Protagonists

In the usual realm of swords, sorcery, dragons and direwolves, aren’t we all occasionally partial to a protagonist that’s a bit, well… shifty? I’m not talking about the big muscle-bound, honour-bound heroes that are as predictable as the British weather, I’m talking about the sneak-thieves, the tricksters, the rogues! There’s something devilishly enjoyable about a character that walks the line…

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[sorcerersskull]

Art by Ben Hale

[makkon]

Some spaceship art I did with Airborn a while back! Artstaion link for anyone interested! https://www.artstation.com/artwork/NYqwq

[ben-hale]

At five in the evening, Wonder Wharf looks different. The shadows from the rides grow long and sharp, and the air is thick with the smell of burnt sugar and rusted metal. I stood by the fortune-telling machine—a wooden box with a glass display case, inside which sat a mechanical fortune teller with faded eyes.

They appeared out of nowhere. "You came." Louise’s voice rang out right behind my back. She stood there, arms crossed, her rabbit ears framed against the evening sky like the crown of a tiny tyrant.

Tina had her notebook ready. Gene was munching on a giant stick of cotton candy that was larger than his head.

"So, Ben Hale," Louise began, slowly circling me. "Spy or not, Fate will decide now. But Fate usually takes a down payment. Do you have a quarter?"

I pulled out a coin. She snatched it faster than a seagull grabs a french fry and dropped it into the machine's slot. The mechanism groaned. The old doll inside jerked, raised her hand, and spat out a small yellow card.

Louise grabbed the paper, squinted, and read aloud: "'He who seeks silence shall find it only in the very heart of the storm.'"

Silence fell. Tina crossed something out intensely in her notebook. Gene stopped chewing. "That means you're either doomed or just boring," Louise delivered the verdict. "But the storm on Ocean Ave—that’s us. So, if you want to survive, tomorrow you’re helping us with 'Operation: Burger Thunder.'"

"What operation?" I sighed. "You'll get the details from Bob. And don't forget the coffee. You'll need your strength if you want to stay out of the ocean."

They vanished into the crowd as quickly as they had that morning. I was left standing by the mechanical fortune teller, holding an empty cup. It seems my quiet life in the second-hand bookstore has officially come to an end. I am officially in the game.

[ben-hale]

The Ben Hale Journal: Entry #2 — Ocean Avenue and the Belchers

«My first night in the new room was spent to the soundtrack of Ocean Avenue. This town is never silent: the surf rumbles in the distance, signs creak in the wind, and by morning, the street explodes with the sounds of life. I sit by the window, looking at Bob’s Burgers, realizing that last night was just the start of my immersion into this strange little microcosm.

Meeting the Belchers is like stepping into the epicenter of a small but very cheerful tornado. Linda seems to know the names of everyone within a three-mile radius and is ready to feed you not just with burgers, but with her endless optimism. She was humming something about morning coffee while pouring my cream, and it was so genuine that I couldn't help but smile.

Then the kids appeared. Tina with her serious gaze and notebook (we’re alike in some ways), Gene, who turned an ordinary spoon into a musical instrument, and Louise... that kid has enough energy in her eyes to light up the entire boardwalk. Bob looks like a rock in the middle of the ocean compared to them — calm, focused on his grill, but I saw him crack a tiny smile while listening to their chatter.

Stepping out onto Ocean Avenue, I caught that specific scent — a mix of salt water, boardwalk caramel, and grilled meat. It’s a street of contrasts, where old fishermen pass by hipsters, and every building front has its own color. I walked down to the shore, watching the Wonder Wharf pier in the morning mist. There’s no big-city pretension here, just honest simplicity.

I rented this room to be in the heart of it all, and I wasn’t wrong. I don’t need an apartment of my own as long as I can watch Seymour’s Bay wake up through this window every morning. My notebook is slowly filling up with faces and sounds. Seymour’s Bay, nice to meet you. I think we’re going to get along just fine.»

Disclaimer: This is a fan-made creative project. I do not own the rights to Bob's Burgers. All characters and settings belong to their respective owners. This story and Ben Hale are fictional and created for entertainment purposes only.

[joncronshawauthor]

Capers and Castles: A Guide to the 10 Must-Read Fantasy Novels Featuring Thieves

Fantasy novels often offer a unique twist to traditional crime stories, and tales about thieves are no exception. Whether it’s a heist gone wrong, a daring escape, or a cunning scheme, these stories are full of action, suspense, and thrilling twists. Here are ten must-read fantasy novels about thieves that will keep you on the edge of your seat: 1. “The Lies of Locke Lamora” by Scott…

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[weirdletter]

Inner Beauty, by Ben Hale (Makkon), via DeviantArt.