#bethchildsappreciation

[kalikoke]

Thank you, Beth, for all that you do.

Alison

[cosima-brickhaus]

Nothing fancy, but here's Hipster!Beth showing up 20 minutes late to Beth Childs appreciation week in a sweater Alison knit her.  :)

[turnandchasethewind]

in my arms (the way you look tonight)

Title: in my arms (the way you look tonight)

Pairing: Soccercop

Word count: 1,394

Summary: Dancing your troubles away in the middle of the night always works best with the one you love.

[based off of this post. note: this is the version of the song imagined when writing this piece]

Like this – engulfed in Alison’s arms, hearts beating in time, skin on fire – she can finally allow herself to appreciate the music surrounding them. They rest their heads on shoulders in sync, slowly swaying from side to side. They fall into a rhythmic pattern, their bodies pressed close together. The space allows no room for damaging thoughts or worries or insecurities. All Beth feels is the soft press of Alison’s head on her shoulder, or the tight clasp of Alison’s arms around her neck, or the beat, beat, beat of Alison’s heart against her chest. 

-----

Beth opens her eyes and stares at the ceiling before glancing at the clock: 2:57 AM. She sighs – quiet, despondent, hopeless – and shifts under the covers to slowly creep out of bed.

The thoughts are annoyingly troubling tonight, consistently waiting until she just floats on the verge of sleep before reverberating loudly throughout her head.

It’s one of those nights where the pills aren’t enough. The breathing exercises aren’t enough. The meditation isn’t enough.

Her life isn’t enough.

She’s on her way to the kitchen, clasping and unclasping her fists, willing the persistent thoughts to cease and the increased heart rate to slow. After gulping down a glass of water she rests her hands against the counter and lets out a deep sigh. There’s music softly flowing out of the radio in the corner, but the buzzing in her head doesn’t allow her the luxury of welcoming in this distraction.

It’s all too heavy for her – all at once – and she feels the familiar pressure swell in her chest. It’s sinking her – drowning her in a sea of worry and insecurity and despair.  She’s gasping for air as her demons swirl around her body and engulf her in a tidal wave of sadness. She’s struggling to breathe – to break the surface – but her thoughts latch on like hundred pound weights and pull her further down, down, down.

(She briefly wonders when she stopped trying to swim.)

She clenches her eyes shut and grasps at the edge of the countertop before a pair of soft hands wrap around her waist. Her body tenses on instinct until she feels a soft kiss placed at the back of her neck.

“It’s just me, darling.”

A long breath of air blows out her nose, her mouth twitching at the corners, “Sorry, Ali. Did I wake you again?”

She feels the head shake against her shoulders, “No. But the bed was too cold without you.”

The smile breaks free this time and she places her hands over Alison’s, “You’re wearing flannel in the middle of summer. Wanna try that answer again?”

Alison scoffs against her skin, “Fine. I missed you,” she pauses to press another kiss on the same spot of Beth’s neck, “You know how I hate inflating your already over-sized ego.”

Beth traces the curve of Alison’s fingers, slightly frowning and breathing out, “Maybe I need to hear it every once in a while.”

“Baby,” Alison pulls her arms back and gently tugs at Beth’s waist to turn her around. When she does, Alison steps even closer and puts her hands on the counter to box her in. Looking up at her face, Alison’s eyebrows are furrowed and her lips are pursed, “What number is it tonight?”

She looks down and plays with a button on Alison’s shirt, “A five – maybe a six,” she glances up and Alison is raising her eyebrows at her and she sighs, “Okay, okay. An eight – pushing to a nine at some points.”

Alison hums and brings her hands to rest on Beth’s hip, “I’m sorry, honey.” She shivers as Alison runs her hands soothingly up and down Beth’s side, “What can I do?”

She looks into Alison’s eyes and sees so much concern that a lump forms in the back of her throat. She chokes it back, letting out a shaky breath, “Just be you – I only need you.”

Those beautiful eyes are sparkling now and her heart races for a different reason, the feel of Alison’s arms trailing up and wrapping around her neck. She closes her eyes as Alison leans forward and rubs her nose against her own before pulling her in for a tight hug.

Like this – engulfed in Alison’s arms, hearts beating in time, skin on fire – she can finally allow herself to appreciate the music surrounding them. They rest their heads on shoulders in sync, slowly swaying from side to side. They fall into a rhythmic pattern, their bodies pressed close together. The space allows no room for damaging thoughts or worries or insecurities. All Beth feels is the soft press of Alison’s head on her shoulder, or the tight clasp of Alison’s arms around her neck, or the beat, beat, beat of Alison’s heart against her chest.

A familiar tune fills the air and Beth smiles, “I love this song,” she whispers into Alison’s ear, hoping she understands the implication.

Alison nods and starts to hum along. She moves her head up, lips brushing against Beth’s neck, her jaw, her cheek. She stops at the shell of Beth’s ear and breathes out, “Someday, when I’m awfully low. When the world is cold,” Beth gasps at the feel of Alison’s lips against her ear, “I will feel a glow just thinking of you. And the way you look tonight.”

Alison pulls back and smiles at her as the piano plays a soft break. Her hand moves up to trace Beth’s bottom lip, “Yes, you're lovely, with your smile so warm,” she brushes the back of her hand against Beth’s cheek, “And your cheeks so soft.”

Alison moves her hand back to rest around Beth’s neck, “There is nothing for me but to love you,” she looks down but Beth nudges her up with her forehead, Alison continuing, “Just the way you look tonight.”

Beth bites her lip as Alison continues to sing along. The words drift to her ears, armed with enough adoration and care that they keep the negative thoughts at bay. She submerges herself in them, allowing them to cocoon her in a symphonic blanket of love.

The song begins the instrumental break and Alison steps back, trailing her hands down Beth’s arms and entwining their fingers. She releases one arm and steps to the side, guiding Beth to step opposite of her. Before Beth can ask, Alison is twirling her around and she catches glimpses of a goofy grin at every turn. She’s giggling – the first honest one in days – before Alison is pulling her back, bringing their arms around Beth’s head so that she can rest with Alison snugly fit behind her. Alison crosses her other hand around Beth’s front and pulls her closer, Beth sighing out in contentment.

She moves to the slow sway of Alison’s hips, melting into her, letting her scoop her up and keep her together. She’s falling, falling, falling – but this time she has Alison to catch her in safe arms. She’s still sinking, only now she’s surrounded by an ocean of affection and devotion and adoration. The full mass of Alison’s love settles itself right in her chest, and she drowns under the weight of it.

(She doesn’t mind not swimming, not this time.)

The song finishes and Alison squeezes her tightly, head resting atop her shoulder, “Feel better?”

Beth nods and leans back, “Immensely. Your voice is the best drug I’ve ever had.”

She can feel the heat radiating off of Alison’s cheek, “Half past three in the morning and I see you still have your charm.”

“Well, if I want to win someone who still manages to pull off sexy in flannel pyjamas I need something.”

Alison scoffs and presses a kiss to her shoulder, “Stop it. You’re the irresistible one,” Beth grins as she feels Alison toying with the edge of her tank top, fingers grazing the tiny sliver of exposed stomach.

She cranks her head and captures Alison’s lips, smiling into the kiss, “Irresistible, huh?”

Alison rolls her eyes but it can’t hide the tint of her cheeks, “See? This is the ego I was talking about.”

“Shut up – you love it.”

Alison blinks and stares at her, the air taking on a sudden serious tone. Beth turns around pulls Alison close, cupping her cheek, “What?”

Alison looks down and shakes her head, “Nothing – it’s just – I really do.”

“Really do what?”

“Love it – love you.”

Beth freezes, her words lodged at the back of her throat. The utter honesty and vulnerability written on Alison’s face is enough to make her heart stop. Instead, it beats wildly – in defiance – and she takes the opportunity to kiss Alison again – just because.

“I love you, too.”

They hold each other close, continuing their impromptu dance to the soft sounds of old jazz. She closes her eyes and latches on as she feels Alison pulling her up, up, up.

(She’s finally learning how to swim.) 

[babysappho]

sestra!beth au: everyone likes to call her during work via her clone/work phone and sometimes she’s gets tired of it.

[deadbeth-blog]

The Etymologist

justoneimafew asked "can you write the progression of Beth's humor fading away? like, it's Beth and Cosima (and Alison too, if you want) and the realization that Beth's fading away from everything, and there's (kind of) nothing anyone can do."

  tw: suicide mention, alcoholism, drug abuse, mcd

New chat: 22:32:55 on 10.07.12 

Cosima: Hey Beth I was wondering if you were going to chat tonight 

Cosima: you’re probably just busy but just asking 

---- 

“Hey, Beth, it’s Alison.” 

“Oh, h-hey Ali.”

“Are you okay?” 

“Of course, why?” 

“You sound like you’ve been crying, that’s all.” 

“No, I’m fine. Just a bit stressed. Nothing a good drink can’t handle.” 

“It’s not funny, Beth. You can trust me, okay?” 

“I’m fine, okay?” 

“Okay. Have you heard from Katja lately?”

  ---

New Skype Message

From: Alison Hendrix

To: Cosima Niehaus 

Beth called me the other day. She seemed stressed.

                                                                 Is she ok?

She said she was, but I’m not so sure.

                                     We’ll keep an eye on her k?

All right.

  ---

  “Beth.” 

“Katja! Are you still on for meeting next week?” 

“Yes. I have all the samples.” 

“Great, thanks.”

“Beth?” 

“Yes?” 

“Danielle was shot.” 

“Oh my God.” 

“We are being hunted like animals. Be safe. Bring the samples to your scientist friend.” 

“T-thank you.”

  ----

  New Skype Call: October 25, 2012 at 21:13:04 

“Hey, Beth, good to see— w-what are you doing?” 

“Shit, sorry, Cosima, I—“

“Are you doing any better? And what are those for?” 

“I am. These are for sleeping. I swear!” 

“I hope they work, Beth, you look awful.”

  ---

  From: Cosima Niehaus

To: Alison Hendrix 

                                    She’s worse.

How do you know?

                                    Visit her. 

---- 

“Shit, Ali, I didn’t think you were going to be here.” 

“Paul’s away, right?” 

“Yeah, he’s gone. Again.” 

“What happened to you?” 

“Oh, the eyes? Just tired. Work stuff.” 

“I see.” 

“Should I break out the wine?” 

“Of course.”

    “Hey, no snooping in my bathroom, Ali! You’re not going to find anything freaky, no matter how many wishes you make. Not my thing.” 

“Ew, gross, no, Beth!”

  ---

From: Alison Hendrix

To: Cosima Niehaus

                                                                     Worse.

Told you.

                                  She taught me to shoot a gun. 

Shit really?

                                                                          Yes.

Cool

   Not cool. When we first met, she said she’d never                                           let me near her guns unless it was life or death.                                                 Unless she wasn't around to shoot it for me.

  ---

  “Hey, Beth, thanks for coming out last week.” 

“No problem, Sawicki. What’s up?” 

“I’m bringing Sammy. We’re making a road trip out of it. We should be there early December, maybe later.” 

“Awesome. You’re a cool dude, Tony.”

“Hey Beth?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Hang in there, okay? Take it easy. Your therapist goes a little nuts with those prescriptions. And the thing with Maggie—“

“Tony—"

“Just, stay safe, okay? I want to see you again.”

  ---

  New voicemail: November 14, 2012 at 3:34 pm.

“Hey, Beth! It’s Jennifer. Sorry I sound a bit bad. I’ve been moved to—sorry, just— give me a second— shoot, sorry Beth, I’ve been moved to DYAD because of, well, for just that reason. My coughing is worse and worse and they’re running some tests. They say there might be hope. I think they’re right. In any case, talk to you soon! I know you’re super busy with work, but try and call sometime, okay?”

End of voicemail.

---

  From: Alison Hendrix

To: Beth Childs

                                  Beth, lay off the drugs.

Shut up Alison

               I’m serious, you are not doing well.

I can handle myself, thanks

                        Beth, your therapist is awful.

You’ve never met her please stop

                                                Beth, please

No. Stop talking to me

  ---

  From: Alison Hendrix

To: Cosima Niehaus

                        She shut me out. Please try with her.

 (Cosima is typing...)

---

New voicemail: November 23, 2012 at 9:46 pm.

“Please pick up, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Ali, you were right, I fucked up and I’m sorry and it’s up to you n-now. I’m getting away from all of this. I can’t keep fucking it up any more. I’m killing people, Ali. People are dying because of me. I can’t handle it any more. I’m sorry. I—“

End of message.

  ---

  Katja: Have arrived.

Katja: Where are you? 

Katja: Must see you. 

Katja: Still waiting.

  ---

  Tony (9:45 pm): Beth?

Tony (10:34 pm): Beth?

Tony (10:56 pm): Beth, I’m here.

Tony (10:57 pm): Where are you

Tony (2:04 am): Where are you

Tony (12:08 am): Where the fuck are you 

--- 

JFitz (11:34 am): Beth they screwed me over

JFitz (3:02 pm): Beth please

JFitz (5:30 pm):  Results are in. I don’t have long now

JFitz (8:45 pm): Where are you?

JFitz (5:46 pm): Beth I’m going to die

JFitz (3:04 am): Beth

JFitz (4:56 pm): Where are you

JFitz (9:14 am): Where are you Beth 

--- 

Cosima (6:56 am): Beth did you get the briefcase

Cosima (10:45 am): Just called you

Cosima (10:56 am): Did you get it or not

Cosima (11:34 am): Going into class please call

Cosima (2:34 pm): Where are you

Cosima (3:10 pm): Where are you

---

Alison (4:56 pm): The kids have soccer, so you can’t come over tomorrow. Tonight?

Alison (4:58 pm): I have wine.

Alison (5:02 pm): I got your message.

Alison (5:16 pm): We need to talk face to face, Beth.

Alison (6:30 pm): Meet at the usual 9:30?

Alison (7:45 pm): Still on for 9:30?

Alison (9:56 pm): Are you okay?

Alison (9:59 pm): Beth?

Alison (10:01 pm): Where are you?

Alison (10:18 pm): Where are you?

Alison (10:21 pm): Where are you?

[emilyjunk]

Friend: Hey, why are you angry????

Me: I didn't get the chance to know Beth Childs and I'm pretty bitter about it

[babysappho]

AU where Alison drags Beth to Ikea to do apartment furniture shopping tho

Beth having to get everything that Alison can't reach and refusing to give her the time she couldn't get without a kiss as reward.

Alison talking passionately about the color of pillows they should have in their house and Beth giving apologetic looks at the employees who offered to help them search for one color. (the color is light blood orange, not red.)

Beth finding a waterbed and refusing to get off of it.

Alison buying all mugs that look like animals. She got three bird mugs for herself and two dog mugs and one elephant mug for Beth. ("Why can't I get a 'World's Greatest Dad' mug?" "Beth, no")

Beth and Alison arguing over the covers of their bed because Beth wan't simple, light blue covers while Alison wants poofy covers with light turquoise flowers on it.

Beth wants to buy artsy portraits of trees to hang around like she had at her old apartment but Alison is having none of that because she is buying like 300 frames for pictures of themselves and their future family.

BETH AND ALISON RACING AROUND IKEA LIKE THEY ARE IN AN ACTION MOVIE BECAUSE HEARD THAT THE STORE IS CLOSING IN 10 MINUTES AND THEY CAN'T FIND THE EXIT

[sarohmanning]

teenage!beth captaining the school’s track team in the fall and spring (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth and art using dipshit as a term of endearment and then being dipshits together (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth recording law and order and criminal minds and dateline on her pvr (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth making straight girls question their sexuality (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth flirting with everyone (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth being super sweet to raj despite the obvious crush he has on her and setting him up with someone who is, how do you say, less gay (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth playing trumpet in the school orchestra (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth befriending drama geek alison hendrix because they’re (involuntarily) paired together for a school project (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth getting tutored by alison (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth being a cocky asshole but turning into a flustered mess when talking to alison (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth making alison realize she really doesn’t like boys. at all. (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth nonchalantly calling alison ‘cute’ and alison psychoanalyzing the shit out of it (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth and alison both assuming their feelings are unrequited (tHOSE DUMB GAY NERDS) and not saying anything so instead they act like total dorks (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!alison getting insanely jealous whenever beth flirts with anyone (especially the douchebag soccer captain paul)  (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth finding everything about alison absolutely adorable especially her PG-rated swearing  (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!alison finally exploding and spilling her feelings very angrily 'elizabeth childs you are the most INFURIATINGLY oblivious person i have ever met' (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth being like ‘are you fucking serious you felt the same way’ and then a very long make out session  (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth and alison watching dance moms (alison insisted ofc) and beth not caring one bit because alison is curled into her side (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth watching alison more than she watches the show (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!alison abandoning her judgemental, bitchy friends for not-clone clone club  (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth, sarah, alison, cosima, helena, and tony being the most loyal and loving and tight-knit yet ridiculously random group of best friends ever (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth and sarah becoming buddy-buddy with the principal because idiots messed with the wrong people when they called helena weird or made fun of cosima for being geeky or alison for being in drama or tony for being transgender (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!sarah's motto being 'talk shit get hit' and beth monitoring the situation so sarah doesn't go too far (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth and alison sneaking around everyone (except sarah and cosima because to them it’s SO OBVIOUS) because alison isn’t ready to come out yet (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!sarah walking in on beth and alison making out on beth’s couch (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!sarah’s cry during the above situation of ‘ARE YOU BLOODY SERIOUS CHILDS WE HAD PLANS you twat’ (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth saying ‘you’re damn right’ at every given opportunity (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth captaining the girls’ hockey team during the winter sports season (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth coming to class late ALL THE FUCKING TIME  and alison scolding her but the teachers don’t care because it’s charismatic beth motherfucking childs, track star and hockey prodigy (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth having a reputation for always chewing gum (✿◠‿◠) 

teenage!beth taking out books on profiling and criminal justice from the library (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth and alison bundling up in snowpants and huge winter coats and hats and mitts and going tobogganing (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth and alison going to tim hortons for hot chocolate after tobogganing (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth TEACHING ALISON HOW TO SKATE (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth and alison (✿◠‿◠)

teenage!beth (✿◠‿◠)