There is this reoccuring dream that if you looked in a direction and walked no one would notice, that if you suddenly collapsed not a single head would turn, there are those who love you and inevitably you know they care but that doesn’t stop the pain and the hurt you begin to feel from these thoughts.
Its the neglect of your own feeling mixed with how much time you’ve taken to deal with others problems that seals the deal. I know the feeling of wanting to sink a knife where I felt it belongs, in the void in my chest and repeatially stab till a chilling thought hit me… would anyone notice then? Its not a haunting thought of suicide that claims us, its a reclosing desire for care, for (and as much as I hate to say it) attention. I NEED ATTENTION just as much as anyone else I just thought that helping everyone would help me, it gives me joy.. but its not as satisfying as someone noticing you. I honestly love life but there are moments where I consider my obligations and muddle through life because “someone” needs me, or at the very least that my dissapation would be an inconvenience to their day. I know pain but hear everyday how much others are suffering more than me, some people have family issues, relationship issues, LIFE issues, they look at me and say that your perfectly fine and suitable to help. I want someone to listen.. at least for a turn, so I turn to tumblr
This was in response to riseken that I will always listen