A thread of tweets from Enfys Book (AKA Lucky Annie) (@enfysbook) on Twitter, from 20 December 2020. [Note that I disabled my account in December 2022, so this tweet thread is no longer accessible on Twitter.] Text follows. You can watch the movie free on YouTube here (under its alternate title, “Beyond Tomorrow”).
I had some unexpected downtime yesterday, so I watched “Happiest Season.” When I finished the movie, I was in the mood for another chill holiday movie, and looked through Amazon Prime’s offerings. I found one called “Beyond Christmas” from 1940, and it’s totally bananas.
The first 30 min of “Beyond Christmas” (which has an 80-minute runtime) are basically “old rich white guys being nice to poor people, just for funsies,” and honestly, I’m here for it. But then it gets weird. Let’s break this movie down. It is a RIDE.
The movie opens with street scenes of Christmas and gently falling snow in New York. We are then brought to a nice living room, where two older businessmen are dictating Very Businessy Things to their secretaries.
A third older businessman enters, arms full of gifts. He basically tells everyone they need to stop working, because it’s Christmas Eve. Secretaries are given gifts, and they go home. Businessmen start getting ready for a Fancy Meal with two expected Fancy Guests.
But oh - Fancy Guests cancel, last-minute. And here these men are, on Christmas Eve, in their own home, in tuxedos (yes, really), with nobody but their deposed-Russian-countess maid (yes, really) and butler (who fled Russia with her) to keep them company. WHAT DO
I’m going to pause the plot description for just a moment to describe these dudes. We have Optimist Guy, Pessimist Guy, and Moderate Guy. That’s basically all you need to know about them, except they are all older, unmarried men and are BUST BUDS and love each other very much.
Optimist Guy gets an idea. Why don’t they take the extra wallets they had intended as client gifts, put $10 in each of them, as well as a business card, and fling them into the street below? Any honest person who attempts to return a wallet would then be invited to Fancy Dinner.
Other Business Bros agree. They make a bet on whether anyone will turn up.
Dinner is at 7. Clock strikes 7, nobody has turned up, and it appears Optimist has lost the bet.
But then - the doorbell rings! It’s a shabby man from Texas, returning a wallet. He has holes in his shoes.
Soon after, a pretty young woman turns up with a second wallet.
Both are invited to dinner. The whole household has a marvelous time. Texas sings a song & woman is 😍.
When the party ends, Business Bros slyly give Texas a nice overcoat, because he didn’t have one.
Then we get a montage showing the next few weeks - this newly-formed polycule of 3 Business Bros, Texas, and Pretty Young Woman are inseparable. They go to parties & bowling.
Then Business Bros get called to a Business Trip. They need to fly somewhere to do a thing. Deposed Countess Maid begs them to take the train, because planes are scary. They laugh at her.
While Business Bros are gone, Texas and Pretty go for a walk and get engaged. They rush to Business Bros’ house to share the news, in hopes they’ve returned.
They haven’t returned. They’re dead. And now they’re ghosts, haunting the house.
Countess invites the young couple to live in the house, and the ghosts nudge her to find an envelope of bonds left for the couple’s wedding. Business Bros knew what was up.
Journalists take an interest in Business Bros’ death and want to keep writing about it, even when there isn’t much else to say. They learn about the couples’ little inheritance and decide to write about it, for reasons. Which leads to the couple being invited onto the radio.
Pretty is excited for Texas to go on the radio, because he’s such a good singer and this could be his big break. I guess it’s normal to get interviewed about a death and then be invited to sing? Did New York really lack content to fill airtime back then? Who knows.
At the radio station, Texas meets Famous Singer Lady, who is excited to hear him sing.
Texas sings, blows it out of the park. Famous Singer Lady invites him to be part of her Famous Singer Lady Tour. His big break!
Cut to Business Bro Ghosts. Optimist Ghost is Jazzed AF for Texas and wants him to chase his dreams.
Pessimist Ghost says becoming a singer will lead Texas to a life of depravity.
Pessimist Ghost says this, then immediately gets sucked into Hell.
Yes, really.
Other two Ghost Bros: “WELP.”
Sure enough, though, Pessimist was right. Texas gets caught up in The Life and immediately begins neglecting his wife Pretty and flirting with Famous Singer Lady.
Pretty is sad. Optimist tells her to fight for Texas. She goes over to the house and they have an awkward conversation that’s basically Texas saying, “Uh, being a famous singer is, like, A Lot, so maybe I’ll just call you when the tour is over?” And she’s like, “K, bye” & leaves.
Optimist tells Texas to chase after her, and he almost does, but then the phone rings and it’s Famous Singer Lady saying she’ll pick him up in 20 minutes for their vacation together in the country.
Ghost Bros (minus one) are upset, but then the sky opens up and a young man in military uniform comes down from Heaven to get his dad, Moderate Ghost. We didn’t know Moderate had a kid. He’s never been mentioned. But here he is. Moderate asks son what heaven is like.
Ghost Army Boy says “what do you want heaven to be like?” And Moderate gets all misty-eyed and says he wants it to be like the barracks, minus the front. He was happy in the war, surrounded by “ready young men.” !!!
Cool, so it shall be. Moderate goes to Gay Heaven. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤎
Optimist Ghost is alone, but he’s determined to do...something...to protect Texas from committing infidelity. He rides along in the car going to the country, petulantly knocking Famous Singer’s hood off her head.
They get to the country resort, they’re having dinner, and they get called up on-stage to perform a song because they are famous. As they stand up, both Texas and Famous are shot by Famous’ ex-husband, who had secretly followed them there.
Oh shoot, I forgot something. Right before the dinner scene, Optimist is outside the resort and God calls him to heaven. He says no, he has to stay and help Texas.
God says “you only get asked once, if you don’t come now, you wander the earth as a ghost forever, and also your mom really misses you.”
Optimist says no, he has to stay. God’s all, “K, fuck you, walk the Earth as a shattered soul” and the gates to heaven close.
OK, restaurant scene happens. Texas and Famous are shot, cut to hospital. Surgery is happening. Optimist is pacing the waiting room. Pretty is sobbing in Countess’ arms.
Ghost of Texas walks out of surgery and runs into Optimist. “What up, friend”
Texas sees Pretty and is full of regret. He asks where Famous is. Optimist says, “Gone. She didn’t have a soul to begin with.” (HOLY SHIT)
Heavens open up AGAIN. God calls for Optimist. Says “your mother wouldn’t leave me alone until I gave you another chance.” (Thanks, Mom!) Optimist says he’s ready, but asks God to do him a solid and bring Texas back to life, because he’s learned his lesson. God is all “FINE.”
As Optimist starts walking into the night, Pessimist shows up! Optimist is like “wtf where did you come from” and Pessimist says he was in darkness for a long time, but thoughts of Optimist and Moderate melted his heart full of angst and brought him to the light. (!) ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤎
Ghost Bros go to Gay Heaven and Texas gets another shot at life.
FIN.
Merry Christmas?
