#bi-oriented

[poorlythoughtoutdescisions]

so I'm bi-oriented aroace (aesthetic/alterous attraction) which means I unfortunately do have a type, and the most ridiculous one as such.

my type for guys is literally "would look good as a victorian twink" as coined by one of my friends and its... scarily accurate

(jack wolfe as an example because he's #1 other than a guy at my school)

[avenpt]

similar submission from an asexual person before and you have proven to be a safe space and honestly i don't know where else to go with this for reasons i'll get into. but to start off: i'm an aromantic asexual, as in, no romantic or sexual attraction at all (but somehow fell into a relationship, that's a whole other story lol). i went through the classic bi to aroace pipeline: feeling equal sexual and romantic attraction to all genders, but that attraction was zero and a few years later i realised there's a different word for that experience. i never stopped feeling disconnected from the bi label though because i relate to it in other ways that aren't sexual or romantic, also mainly aesthetic. it's generally accepted for a lesbian to say "omg girls are so pretty, i'm melting" and it's just considered part of her lesbianism, but when an aroace says "omg girls are so pretty, i'm melting" it's always dismissed as "just" aesthetic attraction, almost like it only "counts" when paired with romantic and sexual attraction, as a lot of allo people don't separate their attraction into different kinds anyway, but for an aroace, that attraction then feels very distinct. it's hard to explain what aesthetic attraction is or feels like - it's more than just thinking someone looks good. there's an impulse to look/listen to someone and for me there is some kind of emotional weight to it that makes it feel distinctly queer; the way i look at other women just feels queer without a need to do anything about it actively - just enjoy it and melt. very rarely do i want to make out with people. it's currently bi visibility month and it's bringing up a lot of weird attitudes from the allo bi community towards aspec people. it's always bisexual this, bisexual that, as if non-bisexual people don't exist, like bi erasure is suddenly ok when it's us. it reminds me of when my presence as an aroace in a bi space was actively challenged because my attraction isn't romantic or sexual. it makes me wonder how to connect to a community that is sometimes hostile to me, whose definitions exclude me, whose history doesn't reflect people like me, but i feel a connection to nonetheless. also hard relate to feeling like you're "convincing yourself you're bi", like hanging on to something old, or especially also because i sometimes get lost on whether i'm looking at people through a lense of queerness because i'm aroace or because the aesthetic attraction itself is the queerness , and sometimes it even feels like i have to almost maintain my bi identity or otherwise i might lose it, like actively find people who i'm attracted to because it often doesn't just come to me.

Hello, anon! I'm glad you felt safe enough to reach out here. :)

It's possible to be bi-aroace. (Or bi-oriented aroace.) Where you are aroace, and feel little to no sexual or romantic attraction, but when it comes to sensual, aesthetic, and any other forms of attraction, you are bi. It's a totally valid identity that is STILL AROACE. Being aroace is queer enough. You don't need to be bi or add bi to it to be queer. I just wanted you to know that label exists if it is one that might be helpful. :)

I'm sorry that you've been having a difficult time with this. And with relating to the bi community. That is cruel of them. You are still valid and belong. It's true that many people simply don't understand that there are various types of attraction outside of romantic/sexual. But you know that there are. Continue to be yourself. <3 I wish you all the best! Whether that means being strictly aroace or bi-aroace, that is up to you. Do what feels right.

Take care!

[radio-silence-fan]

omg !! finally i meet someone online who is bi AND aroace,

how did you realise that was your sexuality, NOT FORCING

<3 Louyse

Hi!!!

Honestly,I'm not even sure when the exact time I realised it.

For me it felt like a process of figuring out the names/terms fit best for what I was feeling. I used to just say I was Bi,and I felt like it was closest to what I felt. But It took some experiences and being introduced to labels I didn't really know much about for me to find the label/labels that are Right for me and not just Almost right.

(sorry if that makes absolutely zero sense😅)

Thank you so much for the question, I hope you have a wonderful day/night<3🩷🩷💖

[liomstargloww]

hello i saw your post on your other account about the -oriented label and im very excited about it i was wondering if you could con panoriented (if you havent already) /nf

decided to make more than just panoriented :D

bioriented | homoriented | multioriented omnioriented | panoriented polyoriented | veldioriented/turioriented | vincioriented

i completely forgot about lesbian hold on one sec hJKADGF will do more soon-

[aro-ace-headcanons]

[image ID; eight edits of Peter Parker which are identical except for the backgrounds, which are eight different pride flags. The pride flags are asexual, transgender, aromantic asexual, bi, alterous, oriented aromantic asexual, demisexual, and aromantic. End image ID] Peter Parker is a transgender bi-oriented aroace who experiences alterous attraction and is dating Ned and MJ. He is also demisexual!

[mspec-culture-is]

aroace bi-oriented culture is feeling silly for hanging onto the bi label but also knowing it makes you happy and you shouldn’t have to part with it