Jason was 1 more tabloid away from chucking his phone through the window of his high-rise apartment.
He called Drew instead. True to her publicist extraordinaire title, she answered after the first ring.
"What's wrong?" Her sharp voice cut through the phone line, clear as day.
"We have a problem, Drew."
"We usually do. What's going on, hun?"
"All these freaking magazines."
"Uh-huh? What about them? Did they say you were caught with drugs are something? I'll put your face and some DARE pictures and file a lawsuit-"
"No, it's not that," Jason sighed in irritation, "The pictures with Nico."
"Did they leak your nudes?"
"NO! No, what? No!" Jason flushed and was grateful Drew couldn't see him, but he was pretty sure she knew anyway.
"Then what's the problem?" Draw sounded exasperated.
"Jason Grace: End of the Rainbow, Jason's Gay Day, Oh Grace: Hollywood Hottie exposed as gay, Grace puts the 'G' in LGBT, they just go on and on- oh, don't forget this gem- Jason GAYace? I can't believe this. And every where I go, too it's "I didn't know you ere GAY now." "
"You knew what you were getting into-"
"No, no, god it's not that. But everyone keeps calling me gay."
"You are in a fake relationship with another man, in case you forget."
"I know that! It's just-" Jason ran his hand over his face, "I'm not gay."
"I MEAN I'm bisexual. Not gay."
"Sweetie," Drew adopted the condescending tone she took when she was about to stop Jason's foot with her toilette heel, "No one actually believes bisexuals are real besides hot girls kissing other hot girls while still exclusively dating men."
"That's awful! That's so-"
"Disgusting? Essentially. But that's the game right now, we've got to play."
"I don't want to play the game. Why don't we make a new game?" Jason was seething. This was such bullshit.
"What did you say?" Drew's voice perked up a little.
"No, you never said that, but whatever. About making our own game."
"Jason took a deep breath and tried to contain himself. "I'm not homosexual, I'm bisexual. I don't want to pretend anymore than I'm doing. Besides, I've dates girls before, it's not like-"
"No, oh my god, shut up. OK so you'll come out as bi."
"-I just wasn't attracted to women or- wait what?"
"I'll make a press conference. You'll come out bi-" Jason heard a scraping chair shortly followed by he clack clack of high heels on marble, pacing, "You'll tell people you're bisexual Tell how you're sick of having your identity called into question. We'll start a hashtag."
"I...are you serious?" Jason blinked, "You want me to do this? You're helping me?"
"Honey, all I ever do is help you. Jason Grace coming out as bi? The first openly bisexual "man of the month"? A trending hashtags, t-shirts, and entire campaign surrounding sexual identity and awareness. We can endorse a petition."
"I...I mean. That's not the right reason, but I'll do it."
"Please," Drew almost sounded genuine, it was weird, "I've had brothers and sisters and everyone my whole telling me I'm not real. This benefits me on all fronts."
"You...you're bisexual?" To be fair, he'd never asked and never wanted to.
"No, I'm pansexual. Now are we going to do this or not?"
"Good. I'll schedule the PC in...four and a half hours. Be ready. Write a speech, I'll arrange everything else."
"Yes already. Where a purple tie."
"Uh, ok." Jason owned a lot of purple ties, luckily enough, "Will do."
"Perfect, I'll see you there. Bye Jason-"
"Drew, uh," Jason couldn't believe he was about to say this with sincerity, "Thank you for everything."
The line went silent a good 10 seconds before Drew spoke again, her regular edge of smugness tinted with what Jason could almost call affection. "It's my pleasure. "
