#bitter apples

[naldibutnice]

Myrna Loy for Bitter Apples (1927)

[letswookieswin]

Olaf Knows

about the horseradish hybrid apples

[mizworldofrandom]

Bitter Apples (1927)

[detective-crescend]

since i no longer have zine projects and 2 minibang fics to write this summer, i think i will write the rough draft of my novel that ive been daydreaming about for a literal decade and a half

[bitterapples]

Anywhere I've been on the internet has been a bizarrely solitary experience for me. I imagine either because A, I simply lack the communication skills necessary to interact as a person should, or B, I am simply too terrified of the idea of being known. In the end, everything I say on the internet feels like I'm talking to an empty auditorium. I desire contact but at the same time do not expect it.

[fawnvelveteen]

Portrait of Myrna Loy for Bitter Apples directed by Harry O. Hoyt, 1927

[leanicolaie]

Bitter Apples 2

Summary:  Ichiru, while still under Shizuka’s wing, turns into a child. It’s not what Shizuka expected when she let Ichiru drink her blood for the second time and told him it’s okay to miss your older brother, you know, but she’s seen weirder things. She can roll with it.

That doesn’t mean she’s going to deal with a sulking child who wants nothing more than to see his brother.

If Ichiru so wants Zero, he can have him. She sends Ichiru to the academy explaining the situation to Cross via letter and pretty much lets things work themselves out.

.

Part One

.

Ichiru thought Zero would be amazing in school, like he was amazing at everything hunter-related. He didn't know what attending school was like, they had always been home-schooled, either by their parents, Yagari, or tutors (generally people from HA who had other qualifications besides killing vampires), but he imagined it couldn't be much different than learning stuff at home.

It turned out he was kind of right and kind of wrong. 

The teachers were basically not any different than the tutors, but the sheer number of other people around them was honestly surprising. There were girls gossipping, boys doing the same thing, a few scribbling drawings on their notebooks, a couple of others outright sleeping, most of them diligently listening to the teacher, and they were all doing it in the same room. 

It was kind of stifling. He thought he was going to have to be aware of everyone in the room, about what they might be thinking, what they wanted to do, that when he belatedly realized he didn't, almost sighed out loud in relief. Nobody was really aware of each other besides their immediate seat buddies or friends, casually ignoring anyone else that didn't interest them.

And Zero. Well, Zero was part of the group that paid attention, but not in a way that was obvious. He seemed to just sit there, half bored, as if wondering what he was doing in the classroom, but by the time Ichiru thought to check his notebook, there would a page and a half of proper notes in his familiar neat, blocky handwriting. (That hadn't seemed to change, no matter how old Zero was.) It was only later he would find out Zero part-listened and part-observed the chalkboard, tag-teaming between one or the other to piece new information together so he didn't have to constantly do both.

Zero was also completely friendless in this school. It was so glaringly obvious it was painful. Ichiru knew Zero wasn't a social butterfly, but he was so kind how could anyone not want to be his friend? Yagari even mentioned Zero, however technically talented, might not be suited for a hunter.

Zero was so nice it made Ichiru irritated.

But that didn't seem to be the case in this school. People were...scared of Zero, if that could be believed. The girls looked like he might start yelling any second and the boys kept a clear distance.

Well, until they saw Ichiru, that is.

"Kiryuu-kun, he looks just like you! Is he your little brother?"

Zero just nodded.

"What's his name?"

"He can speak for himself."

The girl blinked, taken aback, but she turned to Ichiru. "Hi."

Putting on his cutest smile, Ichiru stuck out his hand. "Hi. I'm Ichiru. I'm six." He tilted his head for good measure. "You're pretty."

The girl looked utterly charmed as she shook his hand. As their Dad sometimes said, it seemed the Kiryuu genes were still kicking.

"Oh my god, you're adorable! I'm Kisa, it's nice to meet you."

"You too." Ichiru chirped.

Thankfully he was spared from having to continue making small talk when the bell for the next period rang. Pulling out a copy of Zero's schedule, he saw they would be heading to chemistry next.

Instead of heading for another classroom though, Zero took him outside.

Ichiru started to get suspicious.

"Zero, are you playing hooky?"

"Yes." Zero said blandly, like it wasn't a major problem.

"Why?"

Zero looked down at him for a few moments, then blinked and turned to stare resolutely across the campus. He had the same expression when the girl, Kisa, talked to them after class.

And Ichiru got it. Apparently, Zero at six and Zero at sixteen were pretty much the same. Ichiru giggled. "I'm not going to be scared if people ask me who I am, Zero. I did good with Kisa, right?"

He had been polite, introduced himself, and complimented her. That was the perfect formula for meeting a new girl. At least, according to their father. Neither Ichiru or Zero went along with thinking girls were somehow walking around with the black plague like the other hunter boys their age, so they didn't mind shaking hands or talking to them. Seriously, if girls had germs, they would be sick all the time, which they weren't, so -- argument invalid.

Zero didn't say anything, just turned his head further away until Ichiru could only see the line of his cheekbone and his ear. He still did the exact same thing when he was sheepish.

Ichiru laughed.

"Then where are we going?"

"...I remember you liked parfaits." Zero said quietly. "There's a cafe nearby the school. Someone recommended the strawberry-kiwi."

Ichiru brightened up considerably. "That sounds awesome. I'll get to have a whole one to myself, right? With sprinkles?"

"Whatever you want." Zero said, eyes narrowing in amusement. "Don't come complaining when you get a stomachache."

Aaaaand he also still acted like a mother. Ichiru pouted. "I will not."

"We'll see."

[leanicolaie]

Bitter Apples

Summary: Ichiru, while still under Shizuka's wing, turns into a child. It's not what Shizuka expected when she let Ichiru drink her blood for the second time and told him it's okay to miss your older brother, you know, but she's seen weirder things. She can roll with it.

That doesn't mean she's going to deal with a sulking child who wants nothing more than to see his brother.

If Ichiru so wants Zero, he can have him. She sends Ichiru to the academy explaining the situation to Cross via letter and pretty much lets things work themselves out.

.

"What." Cross stared down at the letter.

"My Mistress simply told me to deliver this child and the letter to you." The level C vampire in front of him shrugged, looking like he'd rather be hitting the bars than playing messenger.

"I wasn't talking to you, but thank you." Cross said absently. His mind was still pulling a blank.

Shizuka's letter just generally amounted to: my blood pulled some weird shit. Take care of its aftermath. Good luck. He's kind of a handful.

Breathing in deeply, he set the letter aside and looked down at the young boy currently glaring down at his shoes. 

It was unmistakably Ichiru, somewhere around five or six. Or was it four? Both he and Zero had always been tall for their age, teenage growth spurt aside.

"Hello, do you remember me?"

Ichiru didn't bother looking up as he demanded, "Where's Zero?"

His tiny hands were fisted at his sides in a nervous gesture.

"I've called him from class. He should be here soon." Cross said calmly. "Do you know where you are? What do you remember?"

"I'm at your dumb school." Ichiru muttered, seemingly slightly mollified at hearing he would get to see Zero -- enough to feel inclined towards answering some questions, at any rate. "Shizuka-san said I'm supposed to be bigger. I think I know that, but I'm not sure."

"Do you have memories from when you were older?"

Ichiru lifted one of his shoulders in a careless shrug. "Not really. Just that I was mean to Zero."

Cross nodded slowly and wondered where he should go from here. Did he ask about what Ichiru knew of his parents? That they were gone? Or should he not touch the subject at all and let sleeping lions lie?

He was interrupted by three sharp knocks that were unmistakably from Zero.

"Come on in." 

In any other situation, he would be mock offended at the suspicious expression on Zero's face as he walked in, but considering the circumstances, it was actually warranted, and he decided to go for ripping off the band aid clean and fast.

"Zero!" He chirped. "Look what the big bad wolf left on our doorstep." He stepped aside to give a clear view of Ichiru.

After a few minutes of silence, one that honestly had the level C vampire edging out of the room with a quick, 'Er, bye,' Zero softly asked, "...Is this a fucking joke?"

He looked furious.

"Well..." Cross laughed nervously. "No?" He flailed his hands and proceeded to explain rapid fire what had happened. 

Zero stopped looking as homicidal as he did before and was now merely annoyed and thoughtful. But when he spoke, he just sounded tired, which nearly made Cross wince. "I'm taking time off of class entirely until he's...fine, or I'm taking him to class with me."

It was either one or the other, there was no room for negotiations. Cross was amazed Zero was offering him a choice.

"Whatever works best for you and Ichiru." He smiled. "You're never behind in school, and I know you can catch up quickly even if you do fall behind, you're free to decide however you want to tackle this."

"...Zero?"

Zero's eyes snapped back to Ichiru at his small voice.

"What is it?"

"It's really you, then." Ichiru nodded to himself. "I think I know, but I don't know."

Cross thought Ichiru was taking the concept of his twin brother now being a decade older eerily well, certainly better than Zero had about seeing him a decade younger, and wondered if there was a mesh of his original personality in there somewhere.

As children, Zero, however quiet, had been the passionate one, and Ichiru, although an extrovert appearance-wise, was a bit of a thinker. Both tried to make up for each other's outward deficiencies -- Zero, to hold Ichiru back from getting overexcited, and Ichiru, to add color to Zero's flat monotones.

Cross had never had siblings to grow up with, never had friends who were close enough to be family, but he figured that natural see-sawing, going up while the other went down, keeping a steady pace, was what having a supporting sibling was like.

It didn't matter whether they were from a line of hunters or not. Family was family. 

Zero's entire face softened and the corner of his lips lifted with a sad tilt. "I'm actually bigger than you now." He tried to keep his tone light, but there were a myriad of unsaid things contained in that one sentence. Cross could feel the weight of it, an entire sack full of rocks pulling him down.

He never did find out how Ichiru and Zero had become separated after the death of their parents. Or why Ichiru had apparently ended up with Hiou Shizuka, of all vampires.

It didn't help when Ichiru shook his head and said, "You've always been bigger." He lifted his arms. "I'm sorry Zero. I missed you."

And as if tugged with an invisible thread, Zero gravitated toward Ichiru, going down on his right knee to gather Ichiru into his arms, tucking him against his shoulder. He naturally held him up by his hip, as if used to holding a child, and pressed his cheek against Ichiru's hair.

"Ichiru." He said gently.

That was all the reassurance Ichiru needed to squeeze Zero's neck and snuffle into his collar.

"Your clothes are uncomfortable." He whined, giving up on finding a likable spot and settling with smushing his cheek against Zero's shoulder.

"I know." Zero said, sounding genuinely amused this time. "This is the uniform for the school. I have to wear it to class."

"It looks dumb." Ichiru said, full of judgement and a little vindictiveness.

"I know."

"Well, I never." Cross pouted, mock offended. "A lot of people would beg to differ. I think you're rather handsome in your uniform, Zero."

"And nobody asked for your opinion." Zero raised his brow.

Turning to the door, which he never bothered to close, he said over Ichiru's head, "I'm taking him to my room."