#borderline help

[bpd-hellfire]

i line up with bpd down to the tiniest details but my therapist refuses to consider it, do you have any experience with this? bc holy shit it can't even be ignored anymore regardless of my age

if your current therapist refuses to consider it, i would either continue to tell them that you seriously have concerns with bpd or find a different therapist

[on-the-borderline-of-abandoned]

Borderline Problem #21

Feeling Invisible and Unappreciated

“We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others, that in the end, we become disguised to ourselves.” -Francois de La Rouchefoucauld

I think we all want to be seen for our true selves, but we also want to please others. If we are our authentic selves, yet not appreciated for it then we hurt and feel invisible. If we put on the costume of what people want us to be, we feel invisible because we’re hiding our true selves. Some of our loved ones may not even take the time to truly get to know us because BPD facts scare them or depresses them. They inadvertently add to the stigma we hope to erase and by ignoring our mental health we are once again made more and more opaque. None of us deserve to be forced to fade into the background in order to make other’s comfortable, none of us deserve to feel invisible.

The feeling of being invisible makes me want appreciation. I dedicate myself to cleaning, cooking, making presents, running errands, etc. for others, along with being (overly) loyal, caring too much, and putting everyone else first. I’m working on not doing those last three. I know I don’t “deserve” a thank you for those things, but I still want to be appreciated since I feel invisible so often. I’m not being my authentic self when I go out of my way to do so much for others. I am forcing my authentic self smaller and smaller when I do this. I have started the practice of letting my loved ones know I need words of affirmation occasionally, and I believe that’s something we are all allowed to ask. A lot of them understand and those who don’t (more so the one’s who refuse to learn why) have shown their true colors. Authenticity on the other hand is a daily practice for me, but it’s worth it.

[bpd-hellfire]

* I'm sorry to use the asterisk but things are pretty bad. Me and my boyfriend both have bpd. Apparently I was really good for him and I was helping him feel better but the relationship was really really dragging me down. I'm to the point where I don't even know who I am anymore. So I broke up with him this morning and it's horrible for both of us, but mostly him. I don't know what to do. Did I make the right choice? Did I ruin his life for no reason?

hey in any situation, you have to put yourself first. it’s not selfish– it’s just what you have to do. if he was putting a significant strain on your life, then you had no obligation to stay with him. it’s always uneasy knowing whether or not you made the right choice, but ultimately, decisions made for your own sake tend to be the right ones.

[bpd-hellfire]

What does fp mean?

favorite person; it’s a term used in the bpd community (although it’s not officially recognized in the dsm-5, some psychologists acknowledge it) basically meaning a person who you’ve kind of imprinted on. you crave their attention more and other people’s and get extra jealous when they do things without you, etc. it’s like having a really intense crush on someone although it isn’t necessarily romantic; you just find them comforting and necessary.

[bpd-hellfire]

Hi I'm really sorry to bother you but I was wondering do you think that someone diagnosed with both depression and anxiety might actually have BPD? Thing is, I relate so much to what you're writing and it's the first time ever I feel someone else's words describe me and my mental illness so well. Is there a spectrum for BPD? Idk if I make sense I'm just so confused

bpd is often misdiagnosed so yes, there is a possibility you could have it, but you need to understand that basing your possibility of bpd on tumblr posts is not the best form of research. not everything i or any other blog is a dsm-5 criteria; some things can be relatable to everyone (although that’s a different story) so if you really wanted to look into bpd, find better sources or better yet, ask a doctor. good luck!

[bpd-hellfire]

Question: I think I have bpd, i made many tests and I check most of all the criteria of bpd, since I was 12. Now I’m 23 and I started therapy a month ago, and I was wondering: should I tell my therapist that I think I have bpd?

yes!!!! definitely oh my god get yourself some help

[bpd-hellfire]

** really important. Hey, can you help me? i've been trying to tell my psychiatrist that i think i have bpd but i don't know how to bring it up, i'm being treated for depression, panic disorder and social anxiety. i need help i'm too scared. thank you

well, all those things can go hand in hand with bpd, so that’s a good start, since it won’t be too outlandish of a suggestion. secondly, if you’re too scared, can you maybe email them first so you won’t have to talk it out face to face? anything indirect can help since you won’t see their immediate reaction; this helps me personally. maybe you can write out all your concerns and take it with you next time you see them so you’ll know exactly what to say, and if you can’t make yourself say them, you can just hand them the paper? if worst comes to worst you can always get a new one and approach them outright with bpd concerns, but i’d really try talking to the one you already have. i hope this helped and i wish you luck!

[bpd-hellfire]

Does it invalidate me as someone with bpd that I never had a fp or will? I just never had fp's.

not everyone has them! they aren’t an official criteria and even if they were, you don’t have to hit every single symptom to have bpd. you’re perfectly valid without having an fp!