My BPD Mind's FP
All consuming thoughts:
- Worried that he's going to find a reason to leave me.
- Worried he only wants to leave me.
- Worried he doesn't want me.
- Worried I've done something wrong (black/white thinking)
- Thinking there is only good or bad (black/white thinking)
- If he's not speaking to me he must have me.
- Never knowing what he's thinking.
- Holding into hope but constantly thinking I won't be "good enough".
- Thinking he doesn't want to be with me.
- If I can't do right by him, I must be doing something wrong? (black/white thinking)
- Constant anxiety/fear of losing my "FP"
- "FP" is also my partner.
- So fearful of being "abandoned" for not being what he needs (not "good enough").
- Constant inner battle about what to think or feel.
- Always worried I've said or done something wrong.
- Constantly reading messages to comprehend everything.
- Anxiety daily for fear/worry of upsetting him.
- Thinking he hates me because he hasn't replied.
- Feeling like I've somehow "failed" him again.
- Overwhelming "guilt" of doing the "wrong" thing.
- Feeling like I've ruined everything again.
