Aug 7, 2025
I deserve to win because I'm sparkly!
Bridget Nelson, The Brain That Wouldn't Die
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I deserve to win because I'm sparkly!
Bridget Nelson, The Brain That Wouldn't Die
On June 15, 2017, Rifftrax held their Summer Shorts Beach Party. It was the 24th Rifftrax Live Event. The event featured Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett, Bridget Nelson, Mary Jo Pehl, Trace Beaulieu, Frank Coniff, and Paul F Tompkins. The shorts riffed were Ricky Raccoon Shows the Way (Mike, Kevin, Bill), Office Etiquette (Trace, Frank), Rythmic Ball Skills (Mike, Kevin, Bill), The Griper (Bridget, Mary Jo), Sentinels of Safety (Mike, Kevin, Bill), A Touch of Magic (Mike, Kevin, Bill, Paul), and The Baggs (Everyone). ("Rifftrax Live: Summer Shorts Beach Party", Riffrax, Event)
[Video Description: A scene from Sherlock Holmes and The Woman in Green with riffing by Mary Jo Pehl and Bridget Nelson.
Moriarty (Henry Daniell) enters Holmes' rooms, while Holmes (Basil Rathbone) plays the violin.
Mary Jo: I'm here on behalf of the whole building to smash your violin.
Holmes looks over his shoulder, stops playing, then stands.
Bridget: *laughing nervously* Sorry, I'm a little nervous. I've never done this Tinder thing before.
Holmes: Oh, Professor Moriarty. Not that I wish to appear inquisitive, but to what am I indebted for the pleasure of this visit? Scotland Yard will be interested.
They walk together.
Mary Jo: *speaking over Moriarty* They didn't appreciate the flaming bag of dog poo you left them.
Moriarty: …think that I am dead in Montevideo. I never dreamed of fooling you.
Holmes: Thank you.
Moriarty: The thought occurs to me, Mr. Holmes…
Bridget: *speaking over Moriarty* That perhaps I've pulled my pants up too high.
(His pants are pulled up extremely high).
Moriarty: You are very comfortably fixed here, aren't you? *inhales* As I…
Mary Jo: *speaking over Moriarty* I feel like he's working up to selling him Whole Life or something.
Holmes: Oh, I beg your pardon. Won't you sit down?
Moriarty: *in a weirdly robotic tone* Thank you.
Bridget: *mimicking his voice* I, a normal, casual human, would many enjoy to sitting now.
They sit in armchairs facing each other.
Mary Jo: Uh, like this? Am I doing it right?
Holmes: Mr. Moriarty, what can I do for you?
Moriarty: Everything that I have to say to you has already crossed your mind.
Holmes: And my answer has no doubt crossed yours.
Moriarty: That's final?
Holmes: What do you think?
Bridget: Well, I think we're broken up!
Holmes: I shall not rest until you are hanged for the finger murders.
(Mary Jo gasps)
Moriarty: You've no proof, you know.
He uses his walking stick to part the curtains and look out a window. Holmes watches him.
Holmes: No, not a shred.
Mary Jo: *speaking over Moriarty* But I've been saying my daily affirmations and believe in myself more than ever!
Moriarty: You could. If you did, you'd never see Dr. Watson again.
Bridget: *delighted* Really?! That'd be awesome!
Mary Jo: Yeah, no downside.
Holmes: I rather assumed you had taken some such precaution. *stands up*Or, I should have snatched up a revolver and indulged in a fit of heroics when you came in.
Moriarty: Very smart, aren't you?
He stands up.
Mary Jo: *speaking over Holmes* Sick of being judged by my big brain and not my beautiful butt.
Holmes: ...I should have anticipated you. But! If any harm comes to Dr. Watson, I shall seek you out.
Bridget: He's like a blind, helpless kitten, you know that.
Moriarty: No harm will come to Dr. Watson this time. But I can't answer for the future. Mr. Holmes, I should strongly advise you to drop this case.
Holmes: Don't be silly.
Moriarty: Think it over.
Mary Jo: *speaking over Moriarty* There's a Massage Envy gift certificate in it for you.
Moriarty: You hope to place me on the gallows. I tell you I shall never stand upon the gallows. But! If you are instrumental in any way in bringing about my destruction…
Bridget: *speaking over Moriarty* Oh, you're gonna get such a pinch!
Moriarty: …Your satisfaction.
They walk towards the door.
Holmes: Then we shall walk together through the gates of eternity, hand-in-hand.
Mary Jo: *breathless* Oh!
Moriarty: What a charming picture that would make.
Holmes: Yes, wouldn't it? You know, I really think it might be worth it.
Moriarty leaves.
Mary Jo: Ooh, now that is weapons-grade flirting, right there!
(Bridget laughs)
End Description]
“Mystery Science Theater 3000 Pinball Peril” Nearly complete and ready to upload to VPForums.org!
Bridget: *screeches out the first line of "Don't Stop Believing"*
Mary Jo: *starts laughing*
Bridget: I live with Mike, y'know. He does that constantly.
This picture sums up my Mike/Bridget head canon perfectly: Mike looking puzzled and confused about something, and bubbly, perfectly-put-together Bridget taking charge and getting it done.
They are such a great couple.
She comes at night. She watches your kids. Can she be stopped?! Find out in our newest short from Bridget and Mary Jo - now available!
"You know, a confession in quip form is still a confession."
Lucky Day, Bridget Nelson