HIIIIIII could you do a Damien Haas x streamer!reader where he loves her streams, and she somehow joins Smosh as a streamer, so he has to hide his crush?
Kiss Me and I Might Drop Dead
Damien Haas x f!reader
Damien's favorite streamer is collabing with Smosh for the day, he would be more excited, but the problem is that he has the biggest crush on her, and subtlety has never been his forte. But it'll be fine, right?
TW: Y/N usage, Damien is so awkward and obvious and oblivious but tbh it's cute, they're both awkward and cute, getting together!, orange cat supremacy, bring Betrayal back I beg you, Court and Shayne being omniscient, bestie trevor!
One night I was bored in bed
And stalked you on the internet
It's feminine intuition
'Cuz I always had a vision of us standing like this
Drop Dead - Olivia Rodrigo
Damien was worried out of his mind. His favorite streamer, the girl with the calming voice that he sometimes listened to to go to sleep at night, the one with the orange, weird cat who made Freyja stare at the TV, the one whose smile made his heart ache, was coming here. He was going to meet her for the first time, and he needed to calm down before he made everything weird with his parasocial bullshit. She was a person too, he could be normal and chill about it.
She walked into Smosh as if she had been there her whole life, and his heart stopped. Oh god, it was her. He had been watching her streams for so long that he forgot she could be tangible, and she was even more beautiful in person. He’d thought that his crush was a little thing, something fleeting that could be chalked up to watching her streams late at night, listening to her bubbly laugh come through his speakers, but no, it was bigger than he had thought, and the consequences of his actions were staring him right in the face.
“Trev!” Her voice snapped him out of it.
“Y/N!” Trevor yelled from somewhere behind him, then rushed up and pulled her into a hug. “Welcome to the most chaotic place on Earth!”
She rolled her eyes with a smile. “I’ve seen your house, are we sure it tops that?”
“Duh.” He elbowed her. “Let me introduce you to some of the people we’re filming with today, unless you wanna be awkward?” She followed behind him as he walked straight up to Damien. “Damien, this is Y/N, officially, in person.”
“Uh, hi!” He held out his hand for her to shake, hoping his blush wasn’t too noticeable. “It’s really nice to meet you. I’m sure Trevor’s told you this but I really love your streams. Your Blue Prince run was really impressive.”
She smiled bashfully. “Oh, thank you. It’s nice to meet you too. I’m actually a really big fan of your work. I’m sure you saw me play Date Everything, but I’ve been watching your stuff for a while too!”
“She always has a cozy Sunday stream on whenever I come over to bother her.” Trevor butted in.
“Shut up! Oh my god!” She put her face in her hands.
“No, no, it’s okay, that’s really nice to hear actually. That- uh- that someone enjoys them on the other side as much as I enjoy streaming. And I know Trevor’s trying to embarrass you on purpose.”
She let out a deep breath. “Never let a stranger teach you to play Fortnite for charity, you’ll end up with a lifelong barnacle of an annoying best friend.”
“Hey!”
Damien chuckled. “Well, uh, I’m gonna go get ready for filming. We have coffee if you want some. I’m a tea guy but I know it’s early and it’ll be a long day. I can grab some for you if you want? I don’t know how you take it so there’s always the downside of that, but you could come with or I could guess or-”
She cut his rambling off with a smile. “Thank you, but I think I’m too nervous for coffee right now.” She had started to fiddle with her moon necklace. “I’m sure the adrenaline will help. Hopefully Trevor doesn’t kill me before we start filming.”
“I hope not either, I’m really looking forward to getting to know you better.” Stunned by his brief boldness, he yelled “Byeseeyoulaterguys!” Then quickly waved goodbye, walking as fast as he could over to the kitchen, where he proceeded to splash cold water over his face in an attempt to calm himself down.
Shayne took a judgemental sip of his drink. ”Nice one dude.”
Damien nearly jumped out of his skin. “Geez, warn a guy before you ominously hover!”
“I was here when you walked in after the most lovestruck performance of your life.”
He put his head down on the counter. “Was it really that bad?”
“Is the sky blue? You’re so screwed dude.”
“I know, I know, she’s just so pretty and smart and charming, and I thought it wouldn’t be a problem but it absolutely is.”
“You should just tell her.”
“Right before a 12 hour shoot day where we’re forcibly confined together? No way.”
“You never know.” Shayne smiled slyly.
“I do know. That that’s stupid.”
Shayne shrugged and took another sip. “Suit yourself.”
—---------
Shayne was absolutely correct. He was so screwed. By popular demand, they were playing Betrayal again, and he simply could not focus. He was mesmerized by the way her hair was pinned up, the way that the emerald green dress the art department had put her in complimented her eyes, and most of all, the shiny pink lip gloss that she had reapplied right before starting.
“Earth to Damien, ready to go?” Court waved a hand in front of his face.
“Yeah, yeah, sorry, ready.”
They smirked the same way their husband had earlier and whispered in his ear. “You are so not subtle.”
“Shut up and let’s play the game.” He hissed back.
They narrowed their eyes. “We are so talking about this later.”
He kicked them lightly under the table, and started the intro, getting everyone’s attention. “Hi everyone! We’re back with Board AF Betrayal, no Legacy this time, but a whole new crew of people, including a very special guest, Y/N!”
She giggled. “That’s Lady Andromeda to you good sir.”
Damien flushed. “My mistake fair lady, I will not make it again. Since you have so graciously started introductions, I am Tristan Bootles, a humble farmer.” He gestured to the rest of the group to introduce their characters.
As the game got going, Damien found himself leaning over Y/N’s shoulder in order to help her with the game, quietly explaining rules to her while the rest of the cast bickered. He tried to balance paying attention to her and everyone else, but how could he when the most beautiful girl he had ever seen was right next to him and laughing at his jokes?
Court kicked him under the table, so hard he was sure he’d have a bruise there the next day. “The final haunt has begun! Right Damien?”
“It has! Belinda, which page should I turn to?”
“Page 28!”
He flipped through the book until he hit page 28, where a drawing of a large crow carrying a house stared back at him. “All of a sudden, the house begins to rumble. You watch as the ground slowly starts to grow smaller as a crow lifts the house into the air. Two parachutes have been placed on the ground floor. The two to make it out of the front door with a parachute live, while the others are left as food for the crow’s hatchlings. You may use encounters with one another to fight for a parachute. There is no traitor, every person for themselves.”
Y/N grew more and more competitive as they began to fight for parachutes, coming out of her shell and making more strategic moves than Damien, who was completely and utterly enamoured by her switch in behavior. Trevor had made it out first, but the two of them were currently fighting for the last parachute, as Court was stuck in a glue trap upstairs and Ian was being haunted by some evil turtle who was sucking his life force. She used a potion to raise her sanity, then an object to switch the attack from might to sanity, securing her win.
“Y’know, it’s a real shame Tristan, you were awfully pretty. But I guess looks aren’t everything.” She winked at him, then let her figure step out of the house.
Trevor yelled, “Y/N and I win!” Everyone started to clap, creating an uproar on set.
Damien smiled sheepishly, “Congratulations, you deserve that win.”
“Thanks!” She was beaming and practically bouncing out of her seat. “That was super fun!”
The shoot finished, most of the cast heading to hair and makeup to change back into their normal clothes, but Courtney hung behind, cornering Damien.
“I hope you didn’t plan on keeping your crush a secret, because after that I think everyone and their mother knows. You were practically drooling.”
“Do you think she noticed? I just- I can’t focus around her, and it makes me feel so dumb.”
“Honestly buddy? For your sake, I hope she did so maybe the two of you will finally kiss already, and hopefully that’ll fix your problem.”
“There’s no way she likes me like that, we barely know each other.”
“Did we even experience the same hour and a half? She absolutely does. Clearly she knew what she was doing to win like that, she didn’t need that much help or for you to hover around her that whole time.”
“Maybe she just wants to be really good friends!”
Court narrowed their eyes. “There’s no way you actually believe that. I’m gonna leave before you implode, but you need to figure this out dude. Good luck!”
Damien was left standing there, fluorescent lights of the office stinging his eyes. He grabbed his water and phone before slumping down onto the games couch, eyes closed and hoping for a few minutes alone with his thoughts. To his disappointment, the door creaked open and he felt someone sit on the couch next to him.
“Hey, I brought you a granola bar, I figured you might need something to keep your blood sugar up, Courtney mentioned you weren’t feeling well.”
Damien peeled his eyes open, taking the granola bar from her hand. “Thanks, I think I’m just exhausted and I need a little quiet time.”
She hummed understandingly. “I get that, I brought my book if you want to just sit. Sounds like they’re having some camera problems so they gave us 30.”
Damien sat up to eat. “That would be really nice actually.”
She leaned against the armrest across from him, getting comfortable and opening her book. Soon, Damien felt compelled to break the silence he had craved only ten minutes earlier. “Murder on the Orient Express is a good choice.”
“Oh! Thanks, I love mysteries. I don’t know if you could tell based on the things I stream, or even from the game earlier, but I really like puzzles. That’s why I play Blue Prince y’know, like something about it just makes my brain tick.”
“That makes sense.”
She closed her book with a soft thump. “It helps me understand how people work too. I’d like to think I know how to read people pretty well, though I could be wrong.”
Damien’s heart dropped. “That’s really cool, I am terrible at it. Like absolutely atrocious, social cues are nonexistent to me, even the most obvious ones ever.” He fidgeted with the rings on his fingers as she slid closer.
“I think I could tell,” she giggled, “I’ve been flirting with you this whole time.”
He gulped. “You have?”
“Well, not the whole time, at first I didn’t believe Trevor when he said you had a crush on me. I mean, whose internet crush for years actually likes them back? That’s the kind of stuff that only happens in romance novels. But uh, it’s hard to argue with the way you looked at me that whole shoot.”
“I’m so sorry Y/N, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable at all. They can recast me for the rest of the day if you want me to go and-”
She put a hand on his shoulder and he stilled, the spot feeling electric. “You aren’t making me uncomfortable at all.”
He sighed. “Good, good, that’s good, we can just forget about this then.”
“I don’t want to forget anything.”
“What?”
“I really like you Damien. Like, a lot. Like in a ‘want to date you’ way.”
It took him a second to process it, eyes going wide as pink crept up his neck, into his face and up to the tips of his ears. “You do?”
“110% yes. No doubt about it.” She smiled gently. “I totally get if you don’t want anything though, I know the whole online personality sphere dating shtick can be difficult. Trust me, I am not excluded from that rule.” She laughed bitterly.
“No, no, I do. I just didn't expect you to like me. Not like that.” He sighed deeply. “You’re you, and I’m me, the guy who does goblin stand-up on Youtube for a living.”
“Hey! Be nice to the goblin, he’s had a hard life as it is, especially in the year 2026.” She giggled, easing Damien’s doubts. “I like you for you silly, goblin stand-up and all. Besides, the hat was cute. And I’m sure my Subnautica streams full of screaming and muttering to myself aren’t the greatest look on me either.”
“It just makes me want to hold you more.” Damien slapped his hand over his mouth, embarrassed.
It was her turn to blush now. “That’s very sweet. Uh- forgive me if this is too forward, but we could try it sometime, if you want, of course.”
He slowly lowered his hand from his face, moving it to his shoulder to squeeze hers. “I would really like that. We could do dinner tomorrow? See where it goes from there?”
She squeezed back. “Sounds perfect to me.”
—----------
To no one’s surprise, Damien appeared on one of her streams a few months later. Her audience had been begging for more Subnautica content before the new one came out, and she really did not want to do it by herself. It took absolutely zero convincing to have him appear as her special guest, even if her cat Tansy seemed mildly offended by him taking her spot.
She went live in a hoodie that clearly wasn’t hers and an extra empty chair beside her. “Chat, we have a very special guest today,” she spoke in her best announcer voice, “Welcome, So Random’s Damien Haas!” She started clapping and cheering wildly as he walked into the room and slid on a pair of headphones.
“Hello, hello, thank you for having me everyone. It’s a pleasure to be here!”
She held out a pink plastic microphone, the kind that made every sound echo, up to his face. “Do you have an announcement to tell us Mr. Haas?”
“Well, not to brag, but I have had an update to my love life recently. One that I think people will be a big fan of.”
“Oh really? Do tell.” She raised an eyebrow questioningly, but her smirk said that she already knew the answer.
“I’ve started dating a very popular streamer who happened to feature on Smosh recently, and I am head over heels.”
“Jacksepticeye must be a very lucky man. Wouldn’t you agree Chat?”
“Unfortunately, your guess is wrong.”
“Oh, then who could it be?” She feigned surprise.
Damien leaned in and kissed her cheek. “You.” Pink spread across both of their cheeks as they watched the chat blow up. They sat in their bubble happily for a moment before Tansy hopped up onto her shoulder, startling them with a loud meow.
“Alright, alright, Tansy says it’s time to start so we’ll start. Welcome to Subnautica with my boyfriend!" She squeezed his hand, which was resting gently on the arm of her chair. "I hope you enjoy!”
A/N: I took a really long time to write this (two months), sorry Anon! I have about four scrapped versions of this but this is the final version where I was happy with it. I love these cuties so I hope it was worth the wait!
Sometimes I wonder what Gothamites think of the different Robins.
This kind of spiralled from Gotham Tok on my fyp all the time, so here’s how I see the progression of how Gotham sees its Dark Knight and Boy Wonder’s:
Pre-Robin Batman:
“Batman isn’t real”
“Batman’s a cryptic”
“Batman is a concept made up by the Gotham PD to scare off criminals”
They don’t believe he’s real. The only people who have actually seen him are hospitalised or in prison, or mentally deranged enough that no one would even believe them.
Enter Dick Grayson:
“What do you mean you saw colour… in the Gotham sky? You mean the red tint every night?”
“Batman and Robin on the paper? No that’s definitely staged. Why would there be a child running around in a leotard, and what, do you think Batman is human?”
They don’t believe again. But they see him grow up, they see meta’s in Gotham led by him. And they accept maybe Robin is an actual person running around with the bat that… might be a person, I mean he has ‘man’ in the same but who knows?!
Enter Jason Todd:
“What do you mean Robin got younger? I thought Robin was in San Francisco now.”
“There’s actual candid shots of the bat and the bird now… maybe it is more than a wives tale.”
First clear pictures on the paper and on the news. People start to actually believe both Robin and Batman exist. But they also knew Robin was in san Fransisco, and taller than 4”10.
Enter Tim Drake:
They don’t notice a single difference between the extremely short 16 year old Jason, and the 13 year old Tim. Goons do however notice the kid wears more armour now and has trousers… good for him.
Enter Stephany Brown:
Any civilians that actually saw her thought it was a costume and a badly picked one, dressing up as a vigilante in Gotham is waiting for someone with a bone to pick.
Enter Damian Wayne:
“Is… robin shorter again… and since when does he stab criminals?”
They once again can’t get a clear picture of Robin. He’s always in the shadows! And he’s fast. Also multiple villains swear he can sound like all sorts of different people. Why can he sound like Amanda Waller?! Goons continuously shit their pants when he just decides to fuck with them and sound like whatever villain they were hired by.
