Ephemeral Euphoria
Pairing: Jungkook*Reader
Prompt: angsty fic where you and Jungkook planned to go to the same college together but you/him end up passing somewhere out of your town and the idea doesn’t work out and puts a conflict between you two.
thanks to @awesome-booknosaur / @andromedaneedsoxyjin for sending the request
Genre: Angst (Kind of)
Words: 2473
Summary: Your plans of attending the university in the same city as your boyfriend is no more possible when he gets an unmissable opportunity to attend a one in a different city far away.
A/N: this is my first attempt at writing fics so forgive me if it’s not nice. Also, I hope you guys like it.
You were a person that wanted life to go smoothly without any unnecessary problems. You knew it wasn’t 100% possible, that’s why you had your life planned out completely.
Your boyfriend, Jungkook, admired this quality of yours but he wasn’t one for too much planning and stuff but supported you nonetheless.
As part of planning your life, you decided where you would attend university take up what course and do what with that degree, when to get married and when to have kids. Jungkook being the amazing and supportive bunny wanted to make sure you were happy. So, you guys agreed you would try your best to attend the same uni or at least a uni in the same city.
As the final year of school was coming to an end you and Jungkook had began filing the applications for various universities in and around Busan as you didn’t want you and your boyfriend to travel too far away from your homes.
You had always wanted to pursue a career in law and hence applied to all the law schools in Busan and since Kookie had an interest and amazing talent in direction, he was looking for a film university.
So far, everything was going well. You had done fairly well in your final exams and were confident that you would get decent scores to get into your favourite uni and Kookie was working hard to shoot a short film that the uni had asked him to present.
In other words, it was also the best summer of your life, chilling with your friends, watching your boyfriend shoot some videos and when he’s slightly lacking motivation, posing as the model yourself.
It became the most amazing summer of your life when you received the acceptance letter to the uni you had been pining on the most.
After receiving congratulations from your family, you immediately ran to tell this amazing news to your boyfriend, who you hoped had also received an acceptance letter to his dream university in Busan.
When you reached his place, you greeted his mom with a polite smile and told her the happy news to which she congratulated you and directed you to his room saying he had some good news as well.
You went straight to his room without knocking as the two of you had been dating for quite sometime and you were the best of friends before that.
“KOOKIE!! I GOT IN!!” You squealed in excitement showing him your acceptance letter.
Seeing the letter and your excited face, he couldn’t help but give you the bunny smile despite the internal turmoil he faced.
“Your mom said you have some good news as well. What is it?” You asked sitting beside him on the bed.
“Ahh. that…” He dragged rubbing the nape of his neck with a nervous expression mixed with a tinge of guilt.
“What happened Kook? Is everything alright?” You asked worry lacing your voice. What happened that made Jeon Jungkook nervous especially with regard to a university’s acceptance letter?
In response, he just gave you the letter he had been reading and re-reading ever since her received it.
As you read the letter, you could feel your heart sink.
Jungkook had been accepted into the Korean Academy of Film Arts and had to be there in few weeks. Which by the way was in Seoul.
You were incredibly happy for him for being accepted into such a prestigious university. But when did he apply to it? Why didn’t he tell you about it? Did he think you wouldn’t support him if he told you?
“When did you apply?” You asked your voice trembling slightly looking up to see his guilt-ridden face.
“My Hyung wanted me apply for this too when we were filling the applications to the Busan universities. I applied only to satisfy him.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? If you had I would have applied to some Seoul university too. You know how much I wanted to attend uni at the same place as you.”
“I didn’t tell because I honestly didn’t think I’d get accepted. I thought I’d tell you about this when I get accepted into some uni here in Busan as a joke. I’m sorry jagi.”
“So, you’re going all the way to Seoul huh?” You asked him returning his letter with some bitterness in your voice.
The person with whom you clearly laid down all the plans to a life you imagined with, shattered it. Because he didn’t trust you enough with one small detail of his life that could have – no it was now a big detail that changed both your lives.
“Jagi, I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you. It was not my intention to not tell you. And even now I’m not sure about this offer. I don’t know if I’m going to be accepting this.” He said with pleading eyes.
“Nonsense. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I’m so proud you Kookie. Wait till your brother hears this. He’s going to be the happiest person ever. Aren’t I right, (Y/N)?” his mom asked you as she brought some snacks for the both of you.
“She’s right Kook. You should go for this. This is an amazing opportunity for you to achieve your dreams.” You said trying really hard to not cry in front of him or his mom. No matter how much you hurt, you always made it a point to never cry in front of anyone no matter how close you were to them.
You were hurting and it was because of him. That thought alone made him feel so guilty that he hated himself for that.
However, this went unnoticed by his mom.
“Listen to her and respond to that letter and start packing.” His mom said before walking out of the room closing the door behind her.
The room was absolutely quiet after she left. Jungkook didn’t know what to say to make you feel better and you were trying so hard to fight your tears.
“I should go. You have a lot to prepare for.” You said getting up from the bed. Jungkook grabs your hand stopping you from taking a step further away.
“(Y/N). I’m really sorry.” He said with pleading eyes.
“I know Kook. It’s ok.” You said pulling away and going back to your home ignoring both his and your mom’s worried looks straight to your room.
You hadn’t come out of your room for the rest of the day and didn’t respond to any calls or text from anyone. You wanted to be alone, to process all that was happening.
Jungkook was moving out of town. A major change in the plans the two of you planned together. He was moving somewhere 300 kilometres away. Where does this put you? Will you two will be able to maintain a long-distance relationship? Will it work? Also, he had to leave in a matter of weeks. How did life get so complicated in a matter of few minutes?
Tired of thinking and overthinking, you finally fell into a dreamless sleep.
The next morning when you woke up you knew what you had to do. It was a difficult decision but you had to do it. For yourself and Jungkook.
You immediately took your phone to text Kookie to ask you to come meet him at the café the both of you frequented often only to notice so many missed calls and messages from him apologising and asking you to give him one chance to talk.
Y/N: Hey. Can we meet?
JK: Of course. I was really worried. Are you ok? I’m coming to your place right now.
Y/N: I’m fine. We’ll meet at our usual café in an hour.
JK: Sure. Everything is ok right?
You didn’t know how to respond to that text. Everything was not alright. But you want it to be alright. That simple text from him made you question the decision you took. But now it was too late to back out.
Y/N: I’m not sure Kook.
You responded truthfully and locked your phone to get ready to meet him.
When you arrived at the café, Jungkook was already sipping on his Americano waiting for you to show up and smiled at you when he saw you. The smile was not one of his usual bunny smiles. It was pained and that made you feel even more guilty for what you were about to do.
He passed you your favourite drink as you took a seat. He always knew what you liked and tried to do as much as possible to make you smile and happy. No matter how worse your mood was, he always knew what to do or say to make you feel better.
Taking a small sip of your Choco shake that he ordered, you looked at him not quiet knowing how to tell him your decision.
He understood that you were about to say something important and hence placed his drink on the table and sat straight.
“You wanted to say something…?” He prompted knowing if you hadn’t said it yet, it was something that was deeply bothering you and this time he also knew what was bothering you but unfortunately unlike in the past how he had a solution, this time he didn’t.
“Yea.” You said taking another sip of your Choco shake feeling the confidence you felt this morning slip away.
“About yesterday.” You started. He nodded encouraging you to go ahead almost bracing himself for the worst also expecting to not hear it.
“Kook. I’m really happy about the offer you got. You should really go for it, like your mom said it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity. I thought about it. About what would happen when you take that offer. You would move out of Busan and I’d still be here.”
“We can have a long-distance relationship, like we saw in that movie.” He suggested looking at you with all seriousness.
“I thought about it too. And this is real life, Kook. Not a movie. Also, long distance relationships are not that easy to maintain. We know how clingy the both of us can get when something upsets us. We will miss each other terribly. Also, there is this stupid jealousy we might get when either one of us is spending time or posting something with another person.”
“What are you getting at (Y/N)?” he asked sensing the direction of the conversation and dreading how it is going to end for the both of them.
“I think it is better to end it now without much hard feelings before it ends with the both of us hurt beyond repair.” You said not able to keep your voice steady and unable to look at him, to see how you broke him with just your words.
“Is that what you think is good for the both of us?”
“Yes.” You replied still unable to look at him.
“Okay.” He said he said setting his drink back on the table. This made you finally look at him. You could see he was hurt. He also respected your decision no matter how much it hurt him. That made you feel like the worst person on the planet. You were hurt too. But this was for the best for the both of you.
But then again you also expected some sort of resistance from his side though you wanted him to accept this decision of yours. You met with not one single complaint from him. This was the Jeon Jungkook you fell in love with years ago. The bunny boii that always put your happiness over his. You had sworn to never hurt let anything hurt him no matter how tough he pretended to be in front of you or how tough he actually was. But here you are, returning his heart that was given to you for safekeeping, shattered to pieces.
All these thoughts made a single tear slip out followed by uncontrollable sobs. You didn’t care right now that you were in a public place with so many people looking at you. All you cared about right now were the arm that was always around you, like right now holding you tight against him making all the bad things go away.
You didn’t know how long you sobbed into his arms. But after some time, you finally found the strength to pull away and looked at him, wiping your tears.
You saw that he had cried along with you while attempting to console you. You slowly reached out and wiped his tears as well, placing your palm against his cheek.
“One of the main reasons I want this to end is because, I don’t deserve you Kook. You deserve someone far better than me that doesn’t break your heart like this. Go to Seoul and become that director you want to be and find a person that makes you feel as special as you made me feel these past years. If no the same then more. Goodbye Kookie.” You said placing a small kiss on his cheek and walked out of that café without turning around to look at it or him.
Because if you did, you knew you won’t be able to stop yourself from going back to him and seeking the comfort of his arms.
Today is the day he’s leaving. Leaving Busan, his parents, his Hyung, his friends, also you. It was bittersweet day in his life. If you had told him a year back that he would be going to Korean Academy of Film Arts, he would have laughed at your face. But here was on his way to the airport to catch a flight to Seoul.
He hadn’t seen you again ever since you walked out of that café and didn’t try to contact you either. He knew it was a hard decision for you to take and respected it. But he missed you. He hoped for you to send him at least a farewell text before he boarded the flight. But he also knew that you wouldn’t because you didn’t want to raise his hopes for a relationship that had ended.
After bidding farewell to his parents, Hyung and all the friends that had come to see him off, he sat in his seat inside the aircraft still feeling empty. He suddenly felt his phone vibrate inside his pocket. It was a message from you. He opened it as his heart was hammering against his chest anticipating the content of the message.
It was a simple ‘All the best, Kook.’ But that made him feel empty no more. He knew this was going to hurt him later. But at the moment he didn’t care. He was satisfied with this.
