Kim Namjoon Drabble, "2. 21. 50."
hi! do you think you could do a drabble with Namjoon (RM)?? And i looked through ur pick a number thing- could you do it with 50 - 21 - 2 ? Thank youu!!
(also idk if you include names, but if you wanna my name is Kristina but my friends call me Cricket)
Dude, i love your name!! And considering the numbers you chose, i'm assuming you wanted it to be kinda sad, bordering on angsty? please let me know if that wasn't what you had in mind, and i'll cook you up a new one!!
2. "Listen, if you're gonna break my heart, can we do it outside?"
21. "This isn't gonna have a happy ending, is it?"
50. "I don't think I love you anymore."
Iron. You identified the taste in your mouth as iron. The liquid was warm and odd in consistency, and yet the taste fell familiar. You quickly pulled your hands away from your lips to see what was bleeding, shocked to see your fingertips.
One of your worst habits included biting your fingernails, especially when you were nervous- and truth be told, you had never been more anxious and nervous than you were right then. So when you had gotten yourself into a bit of an overthinking-state, you had been nibbling away, causing your fingers to bleed. As it wasn't too much blood, you just wiped it away on your hoodie, not bothering to get up to get a tissue.
You took a look at the clock. Nine forty-five.
Namjoon had a couple of his boys over for pizza and some games, but he had promised you they would be out of the house by eight thirty, since you said you needed to talk to him. But judging from the hoying and cheering downstairs, you could say it was safe to assume they were still here.
You sighed and got up from your seat on the floor next to the bed.
Usually you would be at a friends house when Namjoon wanted some guy-time, but today you hadn't had the energy. So hiding out upstairs had been your plan-b.
You slowly made your way down the stairs, as to not make any of the steps creak. When you finally made it way downstairs, you crept up behind Namjoon who was standing behind the sofa, a soda, or maybe a beer- you couldn't really tell from where you were standing, in his hand. You gently placed your hand on his back, trying not to startle him. Your mission was accomplished when he softly turned around, giving you a big smile.
"Hey Cricket. What's up?" He smiled even more and wrapped his free arm around your waist and pulled you in to give you a kiss on your forehead.
To everyone else, it might have looked like you were deeply in love, and that everything was perfect, but that was far from the truth.
Namjoon had been working a lot lately, which isn't necessarily a problem. The problem was that you didn't mind. You didn't mind having the house to yourself and being away from Namjoon, actually- you had started to prefer it. The days he came home early, you found your heart sinking just ever so slightly. It disturbed you. All you wanted in the world was to cherish him and love him just as much as you did the first years you were dating- because that's what he deserved.
He had never done anything to make you fall out of love with him, but those things just happen sometimes.
"Sorry about the guys still here- they'll leave soon, I promise." Namjoon said, jumping to the conclusion that this was what it was about.
"No you don't." Hoseok called from the couch as he tossed a piece of popcorn into his mouth.
"No I don't." Namjoon laughed, but soon stopped when he saw you weren't joking around with them.
Namjoon on the other hand, hadn't noticed much of a difference in your relationship. Sure, you had been acting kind of distant the last few weeks, but he had just assumed you were giving it your all at work, and didn't always have the extra energy to be all lovey dovey with him all the time.
"Can I talk to you? Privately?" You finally asked, in kind of a quiet voice. Not that you were trying to hide what you were saying from the other boys, but Namjoon was so close, you really didn't need to talk any louder.
"2. If you're gonna break my heart, can we go outside?" Namjoon matched your volume, but was obviously kidding with what he said. Little did he know, it wasn't far off from being what was about to go down. You gave him a gentle nod and turned around, while still holding his hand. You then carefully lead him outside on the stairs leading up to your front door.
"Please sit down with me." You asked when you sat down on the stone steps. He did as he was asked and sat down so close that your legs were touching.
"21. This isn't going to have a happy ending, is it?" Namjoon was a lot less playful this time, and hit the nail on the head with his comment. You felt a lump grow in your throat as you grabbed his hand, intertwining your fingers.
You didn't want to break up with him. You didn't want to- at all. You wanted to fall in love all over, and be the partner he deserved. Someone who loved and adored him, someone who supported them the entire way. Someone who didn't wish he would work overtime.
"I have so much respect for you, and everything you do. I care for you deeply, please don't get that wrong." You started, a stray tear falling from your eye. You don't bother wiping it away as you know there will be plenty more running down your cheeks in just a few minutes.
"But?" Namjoon urges you to continue as he looks down at your intertwined fingers, gently stroking the back of your hand.
"50. I don't think I love you anymore." It barely came out as a whisper, but when it did- the world froze. Namjoon gently pulled away his hand from yours as he now rested his elbows on his knees, looking onto the street ahead of you. "I wish I could do something about it- oh my god, if I could! But I don't think that's how this works."
The silence after you finished speaking was deafening. He didn't say anything, and neither did you. It was as if the traffic even knew to go around your block rather than through it, because no cars came passing by anymore. The birds could no longer be heard.
"So what happens now?" He sighed as he looked at you, tears in his eyes. The sight only made the lump in your throat burn even more, tears now pouring down your face like a waterfall you were unable to control.
"I don't know." You started, hugging yourself as you didn't know what else to do with your hands. "I'm scared." You finally whispered.
Namjoon could relate to you, so almost as if he was acting on instinct, he wrapped his arms around you and guided your head to rest on his chest as you cried.
"I don't know." He admitted before taking a small breath. "But I know we are going to get through it together. Of course it sucks that you don't have feelings for me anymore, but that's not something I can do anything about- and neither can you. We'll just have to deal with it."
The silence came around once again, but this time- it wasn't as loud. It was more comfortable.
This was the reason you were begging and praying to fall back in love with him. Even when you broke up with him, he was kind and caring and compassionate. He was holding and comforting you- even though he should be angry and frustrated. Maybe he was. Maybe he was just hiding it.
"I'll love you forever, you know that right?" He mentioned after he placed his head on top of yours.
"I know. And I'll love you too, just not in the way I need to love you." You sighed as you finally wrapped your arms around his waist.
A few more minutes passed before you finally pulled away from him, knowing that if you didn't do it know, you would never be able to.
"I'm gonna go get a few things, and then a co-worker is going to pick me up. I'll be back tomorrow so we can discuss a few things, okay?" You said as you got to your feet, reaching out a hand for Namjoon so he also could get up.
He nodded as he grabbed your hand and hoisted himself off the steps.
"I better get the guys home too then." He sighed and wiped his face with the back of his sleeve, just to get rid of any residue from the tears.
You walked back inside where the video games and music were now muted, the boys sitting on the couch in anticipation. They didn't know you were planning on doing what you did, but they had probably read your body language enough to know the news you were delivering weren't exactly great.
"Hey, are you guys good?" Yoongi asked once you both stepped into the living room, your hand still holding Namjoon's. The two of you looked at each other, communicating through the looks you had evolved over the many years you had been dating.
"We broke up." You both said simultaneously.
Even though the boys were his band-members, and his coworkers- they still had plenty of love for you as well. So when you broke the news to them, you could easily tell they had difficulties with figuring out who to run and hug first. You just gave them a sad smile and then walked past them to get upstairs, leaving Namjoon behind as well.
Grabbing a bag, you felt your hands shake. You didn't want to pack. You just wanted to sit on the floor and cry with your boyf-
The realization finally hit as you were about to losely toss your toothbrush into your bag, but it dropped to the floor before you could even reach the toothbrush. You felt your knees begin to give out, so you quickly grabbed the edges of the sink to support yourself, catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror as you did so.
You hadn't heard the front door open and close. You didn't even hear someone come up the stairs, and especially nothing when they came into the washroom where you were standing.
He didn't have to say anything for you to notice he was standing behind you though. His cologne warmed you up a bit inside, so it was easy to tell who it was.
You slowly turned around, leaning against the sink still- just in case.
"Do you think, that in another lifetime-" You cut off your own whisper. Namjoon took a few steps closer, only a few centimeters between your bodies now. Then he slowly nodded, knowing exactly what you were trying to ask.
He then closed the gap between you, and held you close. It didn't take long before you hugged him back, not knowing what else to do.
"I love you." He whispered into your hair.
"I love you too." You replied as you dug yourself deeper into his chest.
Anyways, I hope you liked it!! Feel free to request again!
