context: my students are 3-5 years old. preschoolers can have more advanced vocabularies than people think so do NOT come in here saying "little kids don't talk like that" they absolutely do
Heartslabyul:
Riddle - "my mommy says tattoos are bad and you should never get one. why don't you listen to my mommy?"
Ace - "these are my Really Good At Running shoes, watch!" *immediately trips on the sidewalk and faceplants*
Deuce - "my head is really hard, listen!" *punches himself in the head*
Trey - "daddy, did you bring me a croissant?" [dad: "yeah, it's in the car"] *EAR SPLITTING SCREECH OF JOY*
Cater - "i made this phone so i can play games. don't worry, it's not real. i'm just a kid"
Savanaclaw:
Leona - "is it nap time yet?" [me: "not yet, we still have to eat lunch first”] "uuuuuuUUUUUUUUUGH!"
Ruggie - "look, i found for real money! i found it in the sandbox so i can have it right? it doesn't belong to anybody 'cause it was just in the sandbox. and i didn't take it from anybody, i just found it. so i can have it, right? can i have it? can i take it home?"
Jack - "carrots make us strong and candy makes us weak... i'm gonna be really big when i grow up. bigger than you. bigger than the whole school. bigger than the whole earth!"
Octavinelle:
Azul - *after winning approximately two games of tic tac toe* "i guess i'm just gonna have to be the best forever. sorry everybody"
Jade - "look at all these mushrooms! ... let me eat them, PLEASE"
Floyd - "school is so boring, there's nothing to do except like... play and stuff"
Scarabia:
Kalim - *holding a wad of bloody paper towels against his nose* "nosebleed :D! i get a popsicle now, right!? YES!"
Jamil - "they're trying to show me their bugs and that's so mean! why would they do that!?"
Pomfiore:
Vil - "what would you like to order from my restaurant?" [me: "ooh, a restaurant! i think i would like-"] "you're getting poison spaghetti"
Rook - "look at my bow and arrow!" [me: "wow, that's really cool. just remember, we don't shoot our friends. you can shoot your arrows at the trees or the-"] "i don't want it anymore"
Epel: [me: "hey kiddo, godzilla needs to go in your cubby while we have group time, then you can get him out and play with him"] "what the fuck!?"
Ignihyde:
Idia - "have you ever heard of the zelda game? i know all about it, i'm really good at it. probably better than you are actually"
Ortho - "no, stop, you can't pretend to be my sister. no, don't say her name! that's my sister! NOOOOOOO!"
Diasomnia:
Sebek - *as loud as he can from the top of the climber* "I AM VERY ANGRY!"
Silver - "mommy said i CANNOT take a nap today 'cause i won't sleep tonight but that's really not true 'cause i can sleep all the time"
Lilia - [me: "your birthday's tomorrow buddy! are you excited to turn four!?"] "no, 'cause i'm gonna kill myself! :D"
Malleus - *whispered into another kid's ear after singing happy birthday* "i hope you never die"
What The NRC Boys Wanted To Be When They Grow Up (circa 4 years old)
Heartslabyul:
Riddle - obviously when you ask, he's going to tell you he wants to be a doctor. every christmas and birthday, he gets a doctor kit. and he likes them! but... if you ask him on a warm afternoon during his free time between the thousand things on his tiny shoulders... he'll tell you he wants to be a painter
Ace - astronaut. hands down. he 100% had those little glow in the dark star stickers on his ceiling and he didn't take them down until high school. on his fourth birthday, his parents got him an astronaut helmet and it was practically welded to his head by the time he turned five. little man yearned for the stars
Deuce - race car driver. he was born with the need to go fast. he would beg his mom to let him watch races on tv and stare with an open mouth as the drivers went around and around and around. he was a big fan of taking big cardboard boxes and running around the yard with them like they were race cars
Trey - dentist. he was an anomaly when he was little: a kid who wasn't afraid of the dentist. he loved going. as a matter of fact, he would often make his friends (mainly chenya) play dentist with him and not understand why they wouldn't let him put his pretend tools in their mouth.
Cater - he desperately wanted to be hannah montana. not like a singer or a dancer, no... hannah montana SPECIFICALLY. the wig, the microphone, everything. he had three hannah montana themed birthday parties in a row
Savanaclaw:
Leona: he could never give an answer when someone asked him what he wanted to be. he knew from a very young age that he couldn't really be whatever he wanted. not in a way that means anything. he wanted to be the king like his daddy, but it was always made clear to him that he could only dream of that. so he just played games and looked at the stars and didn't think of what he wanted to be, just who he was right then. and right then, he was the chess champion of the kingscholar bloodline
Ruggie - cowboy! honestly, he still kind of wants to be a cowboy. he wanted a horse and some cows and a big pasture - the whole nine yards. he never actually got to ride a horse, they were far too expensive, but he would still beg his mom for a cowboy hat and a pair of boots. he got them both when he turned nine and was so excited, he slept with them on. he didn't care that the hat squished his ears and the boots were a little scuffed. he wore them until the soles became more hole than rubber. he still has the hat tucked away in his closet. just in case...
Jack - classic firefighter kid. one day in preschool, a fire truck came to visit in the parking lot, and he was so shocked that he couldn't say a word. the firefighter let the kids sit in the truck and his teacher literally had to pry him out of the seat when they were done, and he cried all the way back to the classroom. the firefighters still made sure he got one of those flimsy plastic hats and a golden sticker of a badge. he thought firefighters were heroes. he still does
Octavinelle:
Azul - scientist. any kind of scientist. he wanted to have a big lab of his own where he could mix up all kinds of chemicals and just... see what happens. obviously at that age, he had very little idea of what scientists actually do but he knew it was the place for him
Jade - he managed to sneak a peek at the original karate kid movie and his life radically changed. from that moment on, he knew he was going to grow up to be a ninja. unfortunately for everyone else involved, this meant he was going to spend years coming up with elaborate plans to sneak up on and attack his brother. his parents quickly became used to the sound of loud, crashing scraps from all corners of the house. but they weren't worried. floyd could handle his own
Floyd - if you try to ask this kid what he wants to be when he grows up and he'll look you dead in the face, say "bagel" and return to his toys. whatever kid
Scarabia:
Kalim - he didn't want to be anything when he grew up, but he wanted to do everything. he didn't want to have a job. in fact, he was never actually told he could do that. instead, he wanted to experience all the joys of life. he wanted to paint and dance and sing and write poems and raise sheep and sail in the ocean and grow figs and play drums and everything
Jamil - this boy practically came out of the womb dancing. he wanted to dance every moment of every day. when there was no one around to play music or kalim was too busy to sing, he would hum little tunes to himself just to have something to move to. he wanted to be one of those dancers who performed all over the world and were applauded with showers of flower petals. he quickly learned that his dream was far from reality. but he kept tapping his toes while he worked
Pomfiore:
Vil - princess. there's no way this boy did not dream of growing up to be a princess. he was obsessed with all things gaudy and sparkly and would try on every single costume available to him. he rarely went to preschool without some sort of mismatched getup on. but his dad didn't care. you can only be this young for so long. so what if his boy wore a crown to school? no one would dare say anything about it, lest they feel the wrath of the schoenheits. vil wouldn't accept any comments that weren't compliments. snide remarks were met with an impressive eyeroll and a flick of his sparkly cape. after all, a princess didn't care what commoners thought
Rook - garbage truck driver. his rich-ass parents were FLOORED when he said this the first time. "honey, don't you want to do something... bigger? like you could run the whole garbage company and make a whole lot of money!" "no! i wanna ride on the back of the truck!" no one could persuade him to dream of anything else. he is immune to your classist ideologies. viva la garbage man!
Epel - he wants to be a vet but SPECIFICALLY a horse vet. like if you mention him wanting to be a vet, he will correct you. the horses around his hometown captivated him and he wanted to be around them all the time. when he was tiny, he would weave around their legs in the pastures and give his family heart attacks. he just loved them so much and they loved him too
Ignihyde:
Idia - he saw sonic the hedgehog once and decided he was going to be dr robotnik. his parents could not decipher why, and they quickly stopped trying to
Ortho - even when he was really little, he wanted to be a teacher. he would line up all his toys and tell them about everything he was learning in preschool. sometimes, the lessons were wrong and idia would pop in to correct him. but that made him mad. he was the teacher not idia! after all, what did idia know that he didn't?
Diasomnia:
Sebek - a swordsmith. not a blacksmith who makes all sorts of things, specifically a swordsmith. he wanted to swing a great big hammer around and make huge, fancy swords. he was often shooed away from the forges and told to stop bothering the craftsmen. but he wasn't trying to bother them, he just wanted to get as close as he could and maybe they would let him hold one when they were done
Silver - he didn't have many ambitions he would admit to. he was a shy kid and didn't like feeling interrogated. but he liked to watch his father play the lyre especially when it was dark and the fire was warm and he was feeling sleepy. lilia always said when he was big enough to hold the instrument, he would teach him to play. maybe it would be fun...
Lilia - he wanted to be a witch. [i hear you saying, "but Ruggie's Biological Father, they're mages so he's already a witch" and i say to you... Wrong]. he didn't just want to cast spells. he wanted a pointy hat and a giant robe and a frog for a friend. once, his mom walked into his room to discover he had her largest cooking pot filled to the brim with no less than nine mystery substances. and it was somehow smoking...
Malleus - being a precocious little boy, he always told people he was going to be a geologist. but he didn't really know what that meant, only that it had to do with rocks which he liked. his dream job was actually wandering around and stuffing his pockets full of rocks. it became a nightly occurrence before bathtime for malleus to stand in front of the bathtub with both arms out to the side and let lilia empty all of his pockets and sleeves and boots. he would laugh loudly as the pile of random stones became a mountain at his feet. lilia would always chuckle, plunk him in the tub, and say "there, now you won't drown"
Riddle - it's a rare occurrence for him to fall ill but on the off chance that it happens, my boy is ready. he has a strict regimen of remedies on hand including face masks in heartslabyul red which he wears religiously. sadly, he sees illness as a moral failing and spends his time wondering how this could've possibly happened. he did everything right! curse this common cold! he makes trey take expert notes in class and deliver his homework to him so he can complete it immediately. no rest for true scholars!
Ace - massive baby. constantly whining. lord help his roommate. he's not NEEDY per se; he doesn't ask anyone for anything, he's just constantly reminding the world that he doesn't feel good. pity him or he gets grumpy
Deuce - tries to fight through it and convince everyone that he's not sick. the boy could be literally swaying on his feet and congested past the point of coherency and still say, "honor students don't get sick." slip him a few benadryl in his tea and he'll recover
Trey - two words: comfort snacks. he's pretty brave about being sick but he takes time off from classes and extracurriculars to make himself (or scavenge) some snacks. also hydration is key! he's a hot water with lemon kinda guy. god forbid he has the stomach flu and can't eat. he gets MAD
Cater - he never stays sick for very long. his recovery time is pretty impressive. however, while he's down he gets BORED. he starts out just playing on his phone in bed but without actual interaction he gets a little stir crazy. expect to receive a million messages while you are in class, several thousand of which are nonsensical videos that he finds hilarious due to copious amounts of benadryl
Savanaclaw:
Leona - barricades himself in his room with an "enter at your own risk" sign on the door (courtesy of ruggie). he spends his entire time trying to sleep but he's usually coughing so bad he keeps waking himself up. he's even more irritable than usual. ruggie manages to sneak in every few hours to deliver meds and snacks before fleeing the scene. once the sickness has passed, no one is allowed to mention it. business as usual
Ruggie - seasonal allergies warrior (sorry son, you get that from me :/). every time the seasons change, he gets a terrible case of the Yuck. luckily, he can always feel it coming so he pops four zyrtec a day (instead of the recommended One) until he obliterates the allergens. the grind never stops. godspeed my boy
Jack - the grind never stops but at what cost? he's so tired... so so tired. he tries to power through like a champ though. he spends his time off either studying or doing lighter versions of his regular workouts. and if you try to tell him to take it easy, he'll hit you with: "actually it's fine to do moderate workouts if your symptoms are all above the neck." alright big dawg.
Octavinelle:
Azul - disappears. just straight up hides. people joke that it's because if the twins see any sign of physical weakness, they'll eat him. you laugh... but it might... nevermind. he doesn't want anyone to see him sick. but if you manage to get a glimpse, you'll see he looks absolutely AWFUL. like moments from death. just let him hole up in the dark for a while. after all, that's the octopus instinct
A Note About The Twins - they always fall one right after the other: jade goes down first, floyd goes down harder. and it's always in the most inconvenient way. jade will be down for a few days and just when you think he's over it, floyd goes down in the exact same way
jade - he's fucking MEAN. he drops the snide, tongue-in-cheek, gentleman act and is a nightmare to interact with. if azul tells him to do literally anything at all, instead of giving his usual mischievous compliance, he will straight up tell him, "i hope someone deep fries you." it's terrifying. while he's in the throes of illness, azul makes himself scarce. and you do too especially after last time when you found out that moray eels actually have two sets of teeth. yeah... never again
floyd - immediately turns into a ragdoll filled with concrete. he's always found face-down in the middle of his bedroom floor and cannot be convinced to move. if you want him to rest in bed, you best prepare a team to haul him up there because he will not do it on his own. and he always spikes a fever of over a hundred no matter what kind of illness it is. it's kind of scary and you think he's gonna die. but then he just pops back up like it's normal. no easing back into health. just boom, bang, back to work
Scarabia:
Kalim - Must! Be! Babied! because he's so well taken care of all of the time, he doesn't get sick with minor things. it's always a huge event. he gets whiny and clingy and doesn't want to be by himself. jamil, of course, is constantly hovering through his recovery. however, as he's being babied, he's really in remarkably high spirits. just get him some soup and play a game with him and he'll be fine
Jamil - you'd have no idea he was sick if it wasn't for the dark circles under his eyes. as you know, he's very dedicated to his job so he doesn't take time off if he can help it. sometimes he can't help it, especially when it comes to stomach viruses. he is EXTREMELY emetophobic. he would rather lay completely still, barely breathing, than throw up. kalim tries to reciprocate the babying he enjoys but jamil is not receptive. just leave him alone
Pomfiore:
Vil - very self-sufficient. he insists that rest and hydration is the key and has a million little holistic remedies for any ailment. he is GLUED to his humidifier. he also takes this time to have a little self-care day. extra-long bath, face mask, mediation, the works. it's really quite peaceful. but NO ONE under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES is allowed to see him. the only person allowed in his room is rook (to deliver supplies) and even then the lights are off and vil is hiding. he declares loudly that he's HIDEOUS but you doubt that's true
Rook - never gets sick. like... to a suspicious degree. he could tongue-kiss patient zero and skip away merrily like nothing happened. there has been one time in your entire time knowing him that you've seen him almost sick and it was barely a sore throat. according to him, it's due to a combination of a naturally strong immune system and pomfiore's dedication to wellness. whatever it is, you can't help but wonder if he's lying
Epel - comatose due to horrific amounts of cough syrup. he doesn't have time for illness; it's harvest season and country boys make do
Ignihyde:
Idia - gets sick ALL THE TIME. styx was such a sterile environment that he never built immunity to common viruses. any time he needs to be out and about for whatever reason, there's a 50/50 shot he's going to come down with something. and you'd think he'd be a whiny baby about it but ortho always discovers him lying in his bed in a mostly dissociative state. because he never got sick as a kid in styx, he never learned to take care of himself so it's up to ortho to get him back on his feet
Ortho - with all due respect, this is a robot. you'll be involved in the next post buddy. hang in there
Diasomnia:
Sebek - his ears get clogged every. single. time. so imagine sebek's voice right... now imagine he can't hear. the entire dorm is aware when he's feeling stuffed up. of course, he insists on staying up malleus' ass as usual but he does so with kn95 masks, surgical gloves up to his elbows, and an honestly insane amount of hand sanitizer
Silver - i feel like it's obvious that his way of dealing with sickness is to just sleep it off. his body is already so prone to exhaustion that any fatigue just makes it ten times worse. but he doesn't like to fight through it alone. any time he gets sick, he makes his way into his father's bed and curls up there instead of in his own. lilia knows all the ways to make him feel better. he teases him a little, saying he's far too old to be coddled and soothed to sleep. but in reality, he doesn't mind. it's nice to have his little boy back for a while
Lilia - being sick doesn't really bother him much. it's a part of life and he's been around long enough to know how to deal with it. the biggest problem comes from his back. the physical exhaustion from illness means that the pain he feels is intensified. sometimes, he's bed-bound for a day or more. in those times, it's silver's turn to take care of him for a change. he likes to make little jokes about it, saying things like "ah yes, this is why you have children. good job taking care of your old man." he doesn't want anyone else to know what's going on and silver would never tell
Malleus - you always know malleus is ill by the wailing cry that emanates from sebek. he has failed his lord! how could he possibly forgive himself!? sebek tries to help but lilia has to shoo him away. in times like these, his reptile instincts kick in. he squeezes himself under his bed and barely moves at all. every few hours, lilia wiggles under there and asks if he needs to moisten him with a spray bottle to which malleus responds with spitting a few sparks directly in his face as a warning. he doesn't like to be bothered. he'll crawl out when he's ready
here's my ranking of twisted wonderland students by how likely i'd be to let them behind the wheel of a car. this is gonna be a long one bc i'm including explanations of course. (and i know that in-game it's rare to be able to drive, we're ignoring that and pretending it's common to drive around)
1. Leona: canonically, he can drive and drive well. i feel like this was an easy one. but it makes sense!
2. Vil: he just has so many random skills that i feel like driving would be no problem at all. honestly, there's not much that i think vil CAN'T do
3. Trey: everything about him screams Responsible Driver. he would definitely play chauffeur for heartslabyul whenever they need to go somewhere. AND he'd have snacks in the glove compartment. 10/10 ride
4. Jamil: he can absolutely drive well - near perfect i'd argue. what's the alternative? let KALIM drive? get real. it's his duty to get where he needs to go safely
5. Jack: the self-discipline that this boy possesses is unrivaled. he would be locked in behind the wheel. he spent so long becoming the best driver he can be and by god, he's gonna prove it
6. Deuce: LISTEN TO ME, LISTEN! he's really good on that blastcycle which is more dangerous and difficult (said as a former bike/atv guy). a car is nothing to him. plus he's on his Honor Student streak so he's trying his best. my only worry is speed. slow it down, friend
7. Epel: similar to deuce. farm kids learn to drive really early in their lives. HOWEVER... driving safely?? hmmmm... his biggest flaws are going too fast and whipping around curves when no one else is on the road
8. Riddle: he would definitely follow all the road rules. to the letter. every trip would take an extra 30 minutes to an hour. no music, windows up, silence. he won't even let YOU be on your phone lest he become distracted. also ROAD RAGE. interstate driving would get very scary
9. Ortho: fuck it, let the robot give it a shot
10. Azul: i feel like once he figured out the mechanics, he would be fine on the road. however, if he got pulled over he would definitely argue with the cop and get us both arrested. so... i'm gonna pass
11. Jade: yes, we're getting where we need to go. but... nefariously. and there's something in the trunk. i feel like he'd also randomly go "oops" just to freak out his passengers. "what do you mean OOPS?" "don't worry about it :)"
12. Ruggie: there's a wildness to my boy that drove his ranking down. he would definitely drive a jeep with the doors off. music blasting, wind whipping around everywhere. it would be a fairly safe drive but not a particularly enjoyable one. also i would fall out
13. Silver: i don't know, i feel like he would be chill. i put him low bc briar valley doesn't have cars so his driving education would be quite scarce and he'd be a new driver. but he could get the job done. probably
14. Sebek: similar to silver but he needs to relax. malleus is fine, we're just going to walmart
15. Ace: he just gives off the vibe of "16-year-old kid in the car his dad bought for him." never lets anyone merge, hits curbs, can never figure out the speed limit, etc, etc. even worse if deuce is in the car! "ace, watch out for the mailbox!" "don't tell me what to- *BANG*"
16. Cater: gay people can't drive
17. Rook: distracted driver. god forbid there's wildlife around, he would turn 180 in his seat to look at it. this Oh Shit Handle is getting some use. also i KNOW his car would be shit. i don't care that his family is rich, he's driving a 2003 hyundai sonata
18. Floyd: LISTEN! there's a 50/50 shot that everything goes perfectly fine. like as long as he's in a good mood, he can get the job done. you definitely just have to check in before you buckle up. get ready to tuck and roll
19. Malleus: what is a car?
20. Idia: there's so much anxiety there i feel like one thing would go slightly left and he'd almost pass out. he's white-knuckling the wheel, praying that no one else is on the road. it's alright buddy, you can be a passenger princess
21. Kalim: No.
22. Grim + Yuu: okay, for this one it's a joint effort. yuu at the wheel and grim on the pedals. there's so much chaos and screaming. four-way stops don't exist. yellow lights are green and red lights are yellow. the horn has not stopped honking since the engine started. this is an emergency situation ONLY. like someone is bleeding out in the backseat and no one is answering their phones
(sorry this is gonna be short, i have to be at my grandma's house in two hours)
Heartslabyul:
Riddle - never did these as a kid so begins the event a little unsure of himself. he's standing too still, analyzing the big field while his dormmates scramble for eggs. he thinks it's embarrassing. clearly, there are better strategies for finding them. once he gets in the groove, he's practically commanding an army. he's only satisfied when every centimeter has been searched and he is certain all the eggs have been found. it's a several hour affair. he has the least amount of candy (ordering the troops takes a lot of effort) but he doesn't mind. it's more than he ever had as a child
Ace and Deuce - the poster children for Team Stupid. they are only kind of interested in the candy. they are more interested in the chaos. they spend a lot of the time chasing each other, wrestling over eggs, and throwing the pre-wrapped candies at each other. at one point, ace ends up on deuce's shoulders to try and get on a roof. riddle almost bursts a blood vessel
Trey - very Chill Older Brother about this whole situation. he wants to make sure everyone (riddle) is having a good time. of course, he collects his share of treats, it is easter after all, but that's not his focus. when he sees that riddle hasn't picked up an egg in a while, he gently kicks one through the grass at his feet. it feels good to see his friend happy. and it feels really good to get some starburst jellybeans
Cater - he doesn't really like sweets so he puts himself in charge of hiding all the eggs. he places every one meticulously to ensure that there will be proper angles to photograph the finds. he skirts around like a videographer, snapping all the right moments. secretly, he's the one who planted the idea of getting on the roof into ace and deuce's brains. why? are there eggs up there? no. but it would be funny
Savanaclaw:
Leona - does not participate in the hunt. he spends the whole time stretched out in the grass napping. the commotion around doesn't seem to faze him in the slightest. he demands a candy cut though since he's the one who bought it all. at the end, he's the richest man in the dorm. whatever. he's just glad he got a nap with no one trying to bother him
Ruggie - way too into this. has a feral energy surrounding him. he's squeezing himself into places that grown students should not be able to fit. his dormmates laugh at him for assuming there's eggs in the tiniest places. but wouldn't you know, there's always something shoved back in there. it's almost like it was squirrelled away for someone just his size...
Jack - initially doesn't want to participate. it seems too silly to him and sweets are not a typical part of his self care regimen. but ruggie drags him along and says, "if you don't want your candy, just give it to me." he begrudgingly agrees but ends up having a really fun time. he keeps up with ruggie and even manages to snap one up a second before he does. a little bit of theft feels good on a day like this. he ends up keeping all the candy for himself. it's nice to have the occasional cheat day
Octavinelle:
Azul - there is no easter under the sea and certainly no egg hunts. this is new territory for merfolk. he's not quite sure how to approach it until he sees the playing field. this field of plastic eggs shall become his new empire. he's making deals, forming alliances, engaging in psychological warfare, everything a businessman is known to do. somehow, everyone thinks they're the only ones who cut a deal with him (except the twins, they know better). in the end, the entire dorm is baffled when they all present their cut to him. he just laughs. easter might just become his favorite holiday
Jade - stands right at azul's side just watching for a while. like azul, he doesn't really know what to make of it all. but when azul shoos his away for intimidating future deal-makers, he has to find his own footing. oh well. wandering around a field looking for hidden treasures is kind of like the mountain lover's club. in the end, he has no candy but he manages to find several cool mushrooms. it's fine, he'll just steal from azul when he's not looking. great success
Floyd - something evil and insane comes over this one. he's racing at breakneck speeds, practically leaping over people to get to eggs first, slamming his body weight into things. once he finds one, he immediately cracks it open with his teeth and consumes the candy inside in an instant. other students are getting a glimpse of the secret second jaw he's got. it's terrifying. at the end, he is practically one giant grass stain but he has never been more enriched
Scarabia:
Kalim - the Sunshine Boy is having the time of his LIFE! this is so much fun. he has a shiny little basket and is practically skipping through the field. he pulls jamil along behind him and loudly announces every time he finds one. he has a decent amount of candy by the end but he gives it all away. he can have candy whenever he wants. it was just fun to play
Jamil - obediently trails behind kalim. he doesn't really care much for this game, it seems juvenile. but it's important to kalim to see him participate. he does occasionally employ the ever-clever "kalim, look over there," tactic to scoop up a particularly promising-looking egg. if kalim notices, he doesn't say anything. it's definitely not the worst day of work he's ever had
Pomfiore:
Vil - HATES this game. the sugar, the additives, the red dye 40. it all makes his skin crawl. instead of looking for eggs, he supervises the dorm during the game. his scowl only ruins the vibes a little bit. he knows it's good for morale to have a day of indulgence but sevens he hates this. but having a chair in the shade on a warm afternoon isn't so bad. at least it's providing him a bit of fresh air
Rook - so good at this game that it's not even funny. because of him, pomfiore had two rounds of egg hiding. in the first, rook identified nearly 90% of all egg locations just by entering the field. after the eggs were re-hid, rook was blindfolded, spun around seven times, then released. much better for all. he had a BLAST with this. every time he found an egg, he'd loudly exclaim some french nonsense before calling on the nearest passerby to spin him around again. he only ate a piece or two of candy and gave the rest away but he made sure that whenever he came across a piece of dark chocolate, he delivered it to vil. after all, he must always be in service of his queen
Epel - the only one who gave rook a challenge. he takes this all very seriously. his tactic is to scale the nearest tree both to find any eggs in the branches and to scan the area to spot more on the ground. he leaps down from the trees, hitting the ground with a shocking amount of force. and he brags at every turn. his accent has never been more pronounced or more indecipherable. are those expletives? probably. but no one can prove it. at one point, he's so intent on getting an egg that he straight-up body slams rook into the ground. he does not apologize. he doesn't need to, rook praises the gumption.
Ignihyde:
Idia - is forcibly dragged to this event by ortho. he stayed up very late the night before (later than usual) stuffing the eggs to maximum capacity. he thought that if he did the hiding, ortho would let him skip the big finding party but no luck. he can't actually participate since he placed them all but he dutifully trails behind ortho. he finds himself actually enjoying his time even though it's so bright and so hot and there are so many people. at least ortho is having fun
Ortho - this is the best day of his entire life. he's practically shaking by the time they begin the hunt. he forces himself to not scan the field with his radar. he wants to do this right. he knows he can't even eat the candy but the allure of plastic eggs is so strong. he gives all his candy to idia but saves the eggshells. he sorts them all by color and displays them on a shelf in his room. next year there will be more and he'll be able to convince idia to hunt with him
Diasomnia:
Sebek - easter isn't a thing in briar valley, at least not like this. the rules are explained to him nearly fourteen times and still he can't grasp the concept. there are no teams, no point systems, no strategy to employ. he has to be convinced not to wear his favorite battle armor. it's just a game! once they start, he has to be pulled away from malleus to go find his own eggs. he scoffs at the simplicity of the game but ends up having a surprising amount of fun. every egg is a little victory. he announces each find loudly and gets grumpy when no one responds. he's really into it by the end and tries to convince lilia to hide them all again
Silver - since his father was a travelling man, he actually had a couple egg hunts growing up. but they were always confined to his house or maybe the back yard. this egg hunt is on such a grand scale that it's intimidating. he quickly finds his groove, though, and is surprisingly adept at spotting them. he finds that if you stop and take a moment every so often just to watch, sometimes the locations are revealed to you. he doesn't play for long though, it's exhausting work. he ends up napping under a tree, only waking up to shoo sebek away from his haul
Lilia - egg hider and chief mischief-maker. whenever people aren't looking, he takes eggs and re-hides them even in the middle of the game. he pops in and out of trees and behind bushes to lead students on wild goose chases. it's fun to watch them shuffle past hiding spots with no idea. he finds himself watching silver. he imagines him as a little boy again, bobbing around the yard and grinning at the poorly-constructed eggs he always made. it's good to see his boy happy. it's hard to see him grown up
Malleus - students keep their distance from him at first. after all, he's royal and they shouldn't interfere with his findings, right? but once lilia shoos them all away and gets them going, they ignore malleus. he stays proper at first, straight-backed and quiet, but at the first candy victory, that all changes. he ends up dropping his heavy cloak and removing his boots so he can move faster. he slides through the grass and scrambles under foliage to find his treasures. he even laughs when one of his horns gets caught in a bush. it's freeing to be able to behave like this - like a normal kid
(A college-aged Twisted Wonderland AU starring Jamil Viper and Kalim Al-Asim inspired by Money, Money, Money by ABBA)
Word Count: ~4k
In my dreams, I have a plan
If I got me a wealthy man…
Money, money, money
Must be funny
In the rich man's world…
In terms of insufferable, spoiled rich-boys, Kalim Al-Asim was not too bad. In childhood, he was too squeamish for catching frogs and too inattentive for watching birds. He was loud and clumsy but doe-eyed and gentle at the same time. His tutors loved him even though his academics were nothing more than average at best. He never developed any skills worthy of bragging which meant he never considered himself above anyone else. Especially not Jamil. And Jamil hated that.
He hated that Kalim could not see the evident differences in the status they held. He hated that Kalim always dragged him around by the hand, demanding to play with him or read with him or dance with him. He hated the goofy smile Kalim greeted him with every morning. He hated the way Kalim called him his friend. They were not friends, they never had been. Because even as a child, Jamil knew that he was a servant and that no matter what he did, Kalim would always be better than him. Not because of his skills or his smarts but because of his money.
Money was something Jamil always knew would be an illusion to him. Any money his family made working for the Asim family was immediately used up to keep themselves afloat. They weren’t paid enough to save. Jamil was in middle school when he realized the cycle his family was going to be eternally stuck in. In order to raise their status, they needed more money. In order to be paid more money, they needed to do more work. In order to do more work, they needed more children to help them. But having more children meant their living expenses went up and they needed to spend even more of what they had. They would never have enough money to stop being servants. It was better to just accept that.
But sometimes - on warm, quiet nights when he could carve out some time to be alone - Jamil allowed himself to dream. He imagined himself dressed in silk and brilliantly white linen with no fear of soiling them. He imagined his neck and arms heavy with gold and jewels and bangles of every color. He imagined his parents and his sister off in their own glorious houses without cares. He imagined swimming pools and sportscars and parties that lasted days. It was a fantasy. A life like that was never something that he could attain. After all, he was tied to the Asims by duty. But maybe if his tie was different. If instead of being bound by servitude, there was something else… something more profitable. Marriage?
Jamil surprised himself with the thought. He tried to immediately push it out of his mind but it crawled its way back. The idea was intoxicating in a way. If he were married into the Asim family, their wealth would be his own - at least some of it. And it would be shameful to force your own family into servitude whether they be by blood or marriage. His family could be free and he could be rich. All there was to do was get Kalim to agree. But Kalim was squeamish when it came to things like that. He had this foolish ideology that marriage could not be influenced by economics or politics. Marriage was for people in love. There was no chance he would agree to marry Jamil and set him free. And besides, he didn’t even realize that Jamil was stuck. He thought they were friends, that Jamil chose to follow him to Night Raven just to spend more time by his side. Poverty and necessity and duty were things Kalim simply could not comprehend. So Jamil would just have to convince him to fall in love with him.
Though it would be a long process, it would be easy enough. Jamil was pretty sure Kalim was half in love with him already. He was always following Jamil around like a puppy even though there was an entire campus he could wander around. Kalim had many friends but he didn’t look at them the same way he looked at Jamil and he didn’t stand as close to them or hang on to every word they spoke. It had always irked Jamil how tightly Kalim clung to him. But now he was grateful for it. It would make everything go so much smoother.
He had to choose the perfect time to begin. It had to feel real and natural so Kalim wouldn’t suspect it was all a ruse. It didn’t feel like something he could plan, it would have to be spontaneous but it would also have to make sense. They’d known each other for years, there had to be a good reason for the inevitable question of: “why now?” It wasn’t a moment that could be carefully cultivated, Jamil would just have to watch for the stars to align. He didn’t like the feeling that it was out of his control. But he knew the perfect moment would come eventually. He was good at being patient.
There were many moments where Jamil and Kalim were alone. After all, it was Jamil’s job to be with him at all times. Every night, he would come into Kalim’s room to help him wind down for bed. It was on one of these nights when he got the feeling that the time would never be more right. He opened up the window, letting the warm air blow into the room. The only light was the yellow glow of the lamp on Kalim’s bedside table. Kalim lounged in his bed, wearing his silk robe, his hair still damp from the shower. He stretched his arms over his head with a yawn.
Jamil sat on the bed, facing away from Kalim. He let his hair down from its ponytail, taking special care to make sure it flowed down his back like a rippling waterfall. He could feel Kalim staring. He was always staring. This time, instead of ignoring it, he stared back. Kalim grinned at him.
“What?” Kalim asked.
“Nothing.” Jamil made his voice quiet and shy-sounding. As dense as Kalim was when it came to subtlety, he definitely picked up on that. He leaned a bit closer to Jamil.
“No, there’s something,” he said. “What’s on your mind?” Jamil averted his eyes for a second, hoping the darkness concealed what was probably an unconvincing attempt at being coy. The one thing Jamil hadn’t planned for was the fact that he had to feign a nervous vulnerability. But there was no time to doubt his acting abilities. He just had to go for it.
“It’s stupid,” he said. He fixed his eyes on Kalim again. This was it, this was the moment to put everything into action. Why did he feel so nervous?
Before he could overthink, Jamil leaned in and kissed Kalim on the mouth. Kalim gave a startled gasp but didn’t pull away. As the surprise faded, Kalim relaxed into Jamil, finally kissing him back. Jamil’s heart pounded, not because of some sudden attraction to Kalim but because of the knowledge that finally the dominoes were beginning to fall.
Kalim pulled back suddenly and the air between them became cold. He stared at Jamil with his eyes huge and reflecting the lamplight.
“Hey,” Kalim sputtered out. “What was that about?” Jamil’s cheeks went hot. He had tried to ignore the possibility that Kalim didn’t actually feel attracted to him. The entire plan hinged on Kalim’s feelings which made Jamil’s stomach twist in knots. He could manipulate most things except for this. Kalim had to love him. He just had to. Or it would never work. Jamil could feel his dreams of wealth slipping through his fingers. And this stunt he had pulled could easily cost him not just his job but the livelihoods of his entire family. How could he have been so reckless? So stupid?
“I mean…” Kalim continued, swallowing hard, “I had no idea… I thought… I thought you didn’t feel the same.” Jamil’s heart skipped a beat. Pounce on this.
“I do,” Jamil muttered, keeping his voice soft enough that Kalim had to lean in to hear him. “I was always just too scared to say anything.”
“Scared? Of what?”
“Of you. Of the great Asims. Your family’s pretty traditional and I didn’t know if something like this would be okay or if you’d even want-” Before he could finish his sentence, Kalim grabbed him by both sides of his face and pulled him in for another kiss.
This one was different than the first. It was more sure, more confident, and somehow more desperate almost like Kalim had to confirm this wasn’t a joke. It felt wrong, gross even. This was the person who was keeping him and his family chained to a life of servitude. But the ends justify the means - always. Jamil had to keep going.
He knew the rhythms and the places his hands and lips and tongue should go. He had done this before with visiting servant boys from distant provinces at the grand multi-day extravaganzas he was forced to attend. He also knew that Kalim had no experience. He would be expecting Jamil to take the wheel. Good.
Jamil let his hands wander. Kalim was tense at first, unsure, but he started to relax. He leaned back on his massively overstuffed pillows as Jamil straddled his waist, one leg on either side of him. He felt Kalim’s fingers weave into his hair, pushing it away from both of their faces. It had been threatening to choke them both. But they continued.
Eyes still closed and mind laser-focused, Jamil expertly untied Kalim’s robe. He felt Kalim shudder as his bare chest became exposed to the night air. He could even feel tiny goosebumps raise on his skin. Jamil couldn’t help but smile. All was going according to plan. He broke away from Kalim’s lips, keeping a hand in his chest so he couldn’t follow. Which he tried. Jamil planted whisper-soft kisses against his jaw, his neck, his collar. Kalim’s grip tightened on his hair but he continued down. He kept the motion slow and firm as he traveled across Kalim’s chest, down his stomach, to the waistband of his briefs.
Kalim’s breath hitched in his throat and trembled on the way out. Jamil traced his fingers over the curve of Kalim’s thigh. His heart raced. This was working. And it was so much easier than he had dreaded. Kalim had always fallen in love with things so quickly. One night of service to Kalim Al-Asim, and he would be wrapped around Jamil’s finger for life.
Everything changed after that night. Kalim had no reservations about the entire world knowing about the shift in their dynamic. He was no longer content to have Jamil trail behind him in his shadow. He now insisted upon holding Jamil’s hand and dragging him right up by his side. He spent every moment he could touching Jamil. In class, his hand would find his thigh or his bicep or his spine or his hair. He would move chairs closer so that their bodies were mere centimeters apart. It all made him nauseous. Why, why, why did every moment need touching? Why did the smell of his soap have to imbed itself in his nostrils at every moment? Why did his bracelets need to jingle in his ears constantly? They had spent nearly every moment together their entire lives, but now they were so physically near each other. And he hated it. It was too close. Too much.
To make matters worse, Kalim had so many friends. Nearly every person they passed on campus wanted to say hello and Kalim would always stop to chat. It didn’t matter where they were going or what they were doing, Kalim would always stop. Students swarmed the two of them like insects, feasting on every scrap of attention Kalim could shell out for them. They were all so disgustingly doe-eyed at the possibility that the great Kalim Al-Asim could give them a second of his time. It churned Jamil’s stomach. But he couldn’t say anything. He couldn’t even raise the hood of his sweatshirt and scowl until Kalim could be pulled away. No, now he had to stand at the center of the crowd and hold Kalim’s hand and smile.
Kalim also insisted on integrating himself into what little free time Jamil had to himself, especially when it came to basketball club. It was easy enough to have him in the crowd at games but he wanted to attend the practices too. This meant that other random students also tried to attend. He was able to shut that down fairly easily though. He told them that practices had to remain private. Of course, Kalim still took his spot in the bleachers every time. His presence became so notable - so obvious and jarring - that Jamil once caught the Leech twins staring. That alone made his blood run cold. If anyone would be able to see through the charade, it would be them. And they would dangle that knowledge over his head and make him dance.
He could not let that happen. He couldn’t afford to drop the facade for even a moment. He had to make sure that there was no room for doubt in anyone’s mind. So he squeezed Kalim’s hand and leaned his head on his shoulder and laughed at everything he said. For months, he carefully constructed every response and every movement to be that of a man in love. It was slowly suffocating him. Everything took so much effort that it gave him persisting headaches. But even on days where a migraine confined him to laying in his bed in the dark, Kalim still wormed his way in.
“You don’t have to stay,” Jamil groaned one day from beneath a massive pillow he had placed specifically to squash his skull against the mattress. He couldn't explain why but it felt good. And it muffled Kalim’s voice which was especially piercing during a migraine attack.
“I know,” Kalim hummed from his perch on Jamil’s desk. Jamil hadn’t opened his eyes in nearly an hour. For all he knew, Kalim could be whittling his pencils into a fine dust.
“Then why are you here?” He asked. He winced at his own words. That sounded too ungrateful, too harsh to come from a boyfriend.
“To keep you company.” Jamil stifled a scoff. He cringed at the jingle of Kalim sliding off the desk. His mattress creaked a bit as Kalim sat on the side of it. A shiver ran up his spine as Kalim’s fingertips began gently scratching his back. “Do you remember when I got poisoned?”
“Huh?”
“You stayed up with me for days until I felt better.”
“That’s ‘cause I thought you were dying.” Kalim laughed loudly which created a stabbing pain between Jamil’s eyes. He stopped quickly.
“Sorry, I forgot about the noise thing,” Kalim whispered. “Anyway, you spent a lot of time by my side when I was sick. Many, many times. I just want to do the same for you. Because I love you.” The reality was that Jamil had not stayed up with Kalim all those hours out of the goodness of his heart. It was his job to ensure he made a full recovery every time. And he didn’t just sit there and hang out, he was working the entire time. Fetching medicines and towels and water and whatever else he was barked at to get. But it didn’t really matter. Kalim saw it as an act of love so an act of love it became. It was laughably easy to get him to believe things were done out of love. Obligation wasn’t a word he was familiar with. No one ever expected Kalim to do anything so he couldn’t comprehend why someone would do anything out of an unspoken expectation.
“I love you too,” Jamil mumbled into his mattress. Those words always tasted like bile in Jamil’s mouth. It felt like a betrayal to his family and to every other servant throughout history. But it would be worth it. It would have to be worth it.
There were days where it was harder to keep up the lie. When practice was hard or homework was piling up or there were simply too many people trying to speak to him, he felt his patience wearing thin. Sometimes, all he wanted to do was end Kalim’s ceaseless jabbering in his ear. And it was no longer enough to just stand there and nod occasionally, Kalim actually wanted him to participate in everything. He pulled him into conversations with strangers just because he wanted some input. But Jamil didn’t want to give input, he didn’t care. More than ever, he wanted to be alone. He always wanted to be alone. But he could be alone when he was rich. He just had to keep reminding himself of that. There was a shiny, golden light at the end of this tunnel, he had to believe that. Just one step at a time and he would make it there.
Nights were easier. He spent most of them lounging across Kalim’s lap, trying not to doze off as Kalim combed his gentle fingers through his hair. There was a specific spot at the base of his skull that Kalim somehow knew to massage to melt away the tension he was constantly carrying. In those moments, the effort was worth it. It gave him a glimpse into the life that was in store for him. Relaxation and luxury and comfort and money.
It all came back to money. Part of him loathed himself for being so obsessed with wealth but he couldn’t help it. He was enamored by the idea of his biggest problem in life being that his storerooms were too small to fit all his gold. Never again would he have to witness his mother’s cracked, bleeding hands after a day filled with washing dishes. Never again would he watch his father limp to bed with hunched shoulders. Never again would he overhead his sister complaining of broken nails and feeling like a bird in a cage. They would be free and happy. He would be free and happy. All he had to do was wait. It could take years but he could do it. He could feign a lover’s bliss.
And it wasn’t as if Kalim was hard to love. On the contrary. If things were different, Jamil could see himself being enamored by Kalim the same way everyone else was. He was kind and generous and had a certain unexplainable magnetism to him. But a servant cannot love the one who keeps them enslaved.
“Jamil!” Jamil’s eyes flew open and a gasp escaped his mouth. He was still in Kalim’s bed but his head was no longer in his lap. Panic set in. Where was Kalim? What happened? How could he have let his guard down?
But Kalim was at the foot of the bed with both hands on the mattress and a wide grin across his face. Knowing he was fine meant Jamil’s panic was replaced with annoyance. It was still the middle of the night but Kalim had thrown back the curtains to let in the moonlight. And he was practically vibrating with excitement for some reason.
“What?” Jamil groaned. He always found it harder to be sweet after waking up. He needed a good hour alone before he was ready for any sort of interaction.
“Come with me,” Kalim said. He grabbed Jamil’s hand and practically yanked him off the bed. Jamil sighed but allowed Kalim to lead him to the window. Kalim dropped Jamil’s hand, and opened the huge window with a flourish. Just outside, his magic carpet floated at exactly the right height to step out on. The night breeze made Kalim’s robe flutter around him like an angel’s wings as he boarded the carpet. He turned back to Jamil and held his hand out.
“What are you doing?” Jamil asked.
“Do you trust me?”
“Kalim, you know I don’t like-”
“Do you trust me?” Something was weird. Jamil could sense it. Kalim was never secretive - not to him. All Jamil wanted to do was shut Kalim outside and crawl back into bed. But this was one of those moments that could elevate a relationship or completely ruin it, depending on the reaction. Jamil couldn’t risk it. He took Kalim’s hand.
The carpet was unsteady under Jamil’s feet and he felt instantly nauseous. Kalim pulled him down into a sitting position and threw both arms around him as the carpet took off into the sky. Jamil clenched his fists and squeezed his eyes shut. Kalim’s laughter rang in his ears, somehow cutting through the whooshing of the wind all around him.
“Where are we going?” Jamil shouted over the wind.
“It’s a secret!” Jamil gritted his teeth and sucked in his breath. He was glad the carpet didn’t need a pilot because his hair was enveloping both of them in a vortex they couldn’t hope to see through. But maybe that was for the best. Jamil had no desire to see just how far beneath them the ground was.
The carpet stopped with a jolt that would’ve thrown Jamil straight off if it weren’t for Kalim’s arms holding him steady. Jamil moved to push his hair out of his face but was immediately met with Kalim’s hand over his eyes.
“What are y-?”
“Hold on a second, I’m not ready!” Jamil felt his frustration rise. Why - why - was Kalim always looking for an excuse to do some reckless, meaningless stunt? He was exhausted and he hated flying and he just wanted to go back to his dorm. Not Kalim’s dorm, his dorm. But he stamped it all down.
“Ready for what?”
“Be patient.”
“Sevens, Kalim I-”
“Ta da!” Kalim removed his hand and Jamil was finally able to look around. In the sand below, a million candles had been placed in the delicate shape of a heart. They were all so small and yet the flickering of the flames created a mesmerizing dance all around them. He was speechless. Had Kalim really done this? No way. This was the kind of job he would’ve passed to Jamil in an instant. But if Jamil hadn’t done it…? Someone else, surely. And besides, Jamil had been by Kalim’s side all day, he wouldn’t have possibly had the time to set everything up.
Jamil spent so long pondering how Kalim could’ve pulled this off that he almost didn’t notice how Kalim had shifted beside him. He turned to speak to him and his heart skipped a beat. In the palm of his hand, he held a golden ring with a line of tiny diamonds around its middle. The stones picked up every little pinprick of starlight. It was dazzling. But Jamil couldn’t get over the fact that this idiot was holding it in the palm of his hand like a child showing off a worm they found.
“What is this?”
“I know this is sudden,” Kalim said. “But I just couldn’t wait anymore.” Jamil’s heart fluttered.
“Is this… a proposal?” Kalim’s grin widened. He nodded. Electricity pulsed through every nerve in Jamil’s body. He was stunned, speechless. He hadn’t expected this to happen so fast. He was prepared to spend years chipping at Kalim’s heart and proving himself worthy of this position. He was prepared to plot and scheme and lie in wait for as long as it took. But here it was: a ring in the hands of a boy he had known his entire life. His key to freedom. He could practically smell the gold coins that would fill his pockets. He could practically feel the jewels that would adorn his neck. This was it. The fruits of years of labor and toil. All it took was a couple months of batting his eyes and twirling his hair. Kalim had always been foolish but this was too fucking easy.
“So…” Kalim said, his voice wobbling ever-so-slightly. “What do you say?” Instead of taking the ring, Jamil threw his arms around Kalim like a real lover would. Kalim laughed and held him close. Jamil couldn’t stop smiling.
No classes - a rare sight - but that doesn't stop you from being awake far too early for your taste. A loud pounding on the door sends Grim into a yowling fit and brings you grumbling to the front door of Ramshackle. But it's hard to stay sour at the sight of Ace, Deuce, and Epel standing there bundled up head-to-toe, holding cheap plastic sleds, and grinning from ear to ear. Apparently Ramshackle has the best hills for sledding and you would definitely fit on Epel's sled if you want and it would be awful for the snow to go to waste and what else are you even going to do with your day? You barely have enough time to grab your coat and boots before you and Grim are being dragged out the door.
As much as you grumble as you trudge through the shin-deep snow, you can't deny that the hills surrounding your dorm are the perfect height and slope for sledding. It doesn't take more than five seconds for Epel to go barreling down penguin-style, hollering at the top of his lungs the entire way. You can't help but laugh at Deuce trying to fold his long legs criss-cross-applesauce style within the circular sheet of plastic that serves as his poor excuse for a sled. His middle finger is the last thing you see before Ace kicks the back of his sled and sends him down. You can barely get a word of warning out before Deuce's body slams full-force into Epel as he's dragging his sled back up the hill and immediately folds him like a ragdoll. Epel unleashes a storm of foul language that sends Ace into a fit of hysterical laughter.
This situation is apparently so funny that he can't possibly take a turn on his sled and he hands it to you. It's one of the long, plastic ones with a neon yellow string attached to one end. You decide to sit with your legs facing the string and do your best to coax Grim aboard without resorting to bribery. At first, he refuses, even going to far to demand that you return him home. But then he decides it's much cozier to be settled in your lap than left behind in the snow. And so with one hand on the string and the other arm around Grim, you're off.
The wind whips brutally against your cheeks and blows the hood of your coat clean off your head. Grim's claws cement themselves into your sleeve and your mouth is bombarded with his fur. But as the sled slows to a stop, your chest aches from laughter.
The trek back up the hill feels less daunting than before - even with Grim tucked under your arm - because it comes with the promise of another trip down. The boys have created the perfect rhythm of coming and going with only three sleds so no one has to wait too long for their turn. However, it doesn't take long for polite turn-taking transforms into quiet scheming.
As Ace mounts his sled for another journey down the hill, Deuce seizes him by the hood of his coat and yanks him backwards. He lets out a loud yelp as he begins to scrap with his attacker, trying - and failing - to avoid getting pinned down in the snow. Once Deuce manages to flip Ace onto his back and sit on his stomach, Epel releases the onslaught of snowballs he's been stockpiling directly into Ace's face.
"That's fer sendin' him into me!" Epel shouts. "That shit hurt!"
"This is excessive!" Ace screeches in response between snowballs. Deuce wheezes with laughter before rolling off of Ace's body, allowing him to finally get up. His cheeks glow scarlet as his hair as he wipes the snow from his face. His first action as a newly free man is to hastily make a large snowball and hurl it down at Deuce who is still rolling with laughter on the ground.
"Dick!" Ace shouts.
"Why me!?" Deuce scrambles to his feet as Ace prepares another snowball.
"Because I know it was your idea, asshole!" Ace's second snowball misses but that doesn't stop Deuce from taking off running down the hill. "Get back here, coward!"
"Run, Deuce!" You yell as Ace pursues Deuce downwards. Epel's roaring laugh echoes around you as he quickly joins the fray.
"Idiots." You jump at the sudden grumbling voice behind you but then relax when you turn and see it's only Jack. He's clearly fresh off his morning workout, dressed in track pants and a zip-up hoodie. He shakes his head at the raucous boys chasing each other around in circles.
"Aren't you cold?" You inquire. Jack only shrugs.
"Snows a lot in the Shaftlands."
"Right. So you're used to the cold."
"Yeah. That and while you're exercising, your body-" Jack is promptly cut off by a perhaps rogue though perhaps perfectly targeted snowball that nails him directly between the eyes. You suck in a cold breath in preparation for his reaction. First his tail twitches. Then an ear. Then he's barreling down the hill, stooping as he goes to form a projectile of his own. You have only a moment or two to laugh before Grim launches himself out of your arms and you're hit with a snowball in the center of your chest.
"I was aiming for Grim!" But that excuse doesn't stop Deuce from becoming your prime target in the oncoming war. Tragically, he has the good sense to use his sled as a shield against your attacks. But your charming demeanor and winning smile means you have an ally in this battle. A big, wolfy ally. Deuce can't hide for long.
You can't tell of the fight lasts ten minutes or ten hours. All you know is that by the end of it, all six of you - including Grim - are lying on your backs, panting heavily, watching fresh snowflakes drift down from the gray sky. Your hands and your nose are numb from the cold. Some hot chocolate would be heavenly but you're certain the Mostro Lounge has hiked up their prices today. But Scarabia has a wonderful open-door policy, especially when the weather is so cold. You wonder what Kalim is up to.
hello everyone and welcome to a new series i like to call Event Miscast where i take current twst events and reimagine them with a new cast of folks. so without further ado i present:
Miscasting on the Savanna
(A retelling of the Cloudcalling on the Savanna event starring Leona Kingscholar, Epel Felmier, Floyd Leech, Sebek Zigvolt, and You!)
Word Count: ~6.5k
As you stand in the mirror chamber, waiting for everyone to be ready to go, you can’t help but wonder why Leona chose these particular students to be his crew. Floyd is obvious: he’s big, strong, and doesn’t have any qualms about fighting. You suppose Epel is scrappy in his own way, though you’re not so sure how he’d do in a full-on brawl. And the last one… the mystery is not why he was chosen but how he was convinced to come along.
“Where is Leona!?” Sebek bellows loud enough to shake the mirror itself. “We’re supposed to leave in two minutes!”
“Wouldja pipe down?” Epel groans with a wince, still rubbing sleep from his eyes. “It’s too early for hollerin’.”
“What are we supposed to do if he fails to arrive on time!?”
“I dunno. Go home?”
“Boo,” Floyd chimes in. “I was looking forward to squeezing somebody.” The term squeezing sends a chill down your spine but you keep quiet.
“Shut up, all of you.” The man of the hour finally arrives. He yawns widely, showing off his massive canines. You try not to stare but the light glinting off of them makes them a beacon. “Everybody here?”
“Present and ready,” Sebek reports. “Some of us know the meaning of the word punctuality.”
“Don’t make me leave you behind.” This shuts Sebek up. He doesn’t seem to realize that if Leona leaves him behind, he’ll be down a crucial team member. Naturally, it’s not something that you have any intention of pointing out. You just want to have a good time.
Everyone is fidgety, anxious to get going. Except, you notice, Leona, who seems to be dragging his feet more than usual. Nonetheless, your journey begins with a step through the mirror.
The air in Sunset Savanna hits you like a brick wall. It’s not only hot but humid, meaning that the air feels almost too thick to breathe. You can practically feel the sweat begin to pour out of every inch of skin you have. You squint against the bright sun and try to shade your eyes but neither action does anything to help.
“Holy Hell!” Epel shouts. “It’s damn hot out here.”
“Duh,” Leona says. “Now that we’re here, everyone just do what I say, got it?” You are the only person to nod. Everyone else is too occupied with taking in their surroundings. So occupied, in fact, that they all begin to wander off in different directions. “Hey, hey! Get over here!”
You decide it’s best to just stick close to Leona. Not only are you a stranger to this country, you’re a stranger to this world itself. There’s no telling what you may encounter. So you keep your mouth shut as much as possible through meeting Neji - the grand chamberlain - touring the city, and watching your companions eat more food than should be reasonably possible to ingest. Everyone’s having so much fun eating and shopping and trying new things. You even catch Leona smiling every once in a while.
Spirits are high even when Leona tells everyone it’s time to do some training. You’re not participating in the brawl but you still want to watch them all and be supportive. Leona lays out his game plan - a strategic masterpiece. Any doubts you’ve had about his choice of competitors have been laid to rest. Using Epel to set opponents up, Sebek to knock them down, and Floyd to keep them on their toes is pure genius. No wonder he’s hailed as a master of chess. Naturally, you seem to be the only one who doesn’t see anything wrong with this plan.
“Why do I have to be bait!?” Epel demands. Leona sighs, flicking his tail in annoyance.
“We’re going to use your size as an advantage,” he explains, tight-lipped. “They’re never going to expect a little shrimp like you would be capable of defeating them. You’ll catch them off guard.”
“I don’t like bein’ called a shrimp.”
“Who cares? I’ve seen you move in Spelldrive. Use some of that speed and it’ll be a piece of cake.”
“I take issue with being described as a ‘wrecking ball,’” Sebek declares.
“Is that ‘cause you don’t know what it is?” Epel mumbles under his breath.
“WHAT WAS THAT!?”
“Take it easy,” Leona interrupts. “There’s no reason for you to draw anything out. You can easily overpower anybody out there, so just do it. Take them down clean and simple.”
“Battle is rarely so simple.”
“Yeah, okay. But wouldn’t it bring that horned jerk so much pride to know your fights were done in record time?” Sebek’s eyes start to gleam. “And I’m sure he’ll agree that having a Sunset Warrior for a right-hand man is pretty cool.”
“I suppose. But I’ll have you know that I am capable of feats of combat far greater than-!” A yawn from Leona is enough to shut Sebek up. All eyes turn towards Floyd who has settled himself in the shade of a tree. He doesn’t notice the staring for a few long moments. Then he blinks absently.
“Hm?”
“Anything to declare?” Leona asks.
“Nah.”
“Alright then. The sun won’t be setting for another two hours. Back to it.” As much as you enjoy being able to participate as a spectator, you have to admit that the Bead Brawl looks like fun. You find yourself cheering as your schoolmates battle each other and you can’t help but laugh when Epel lets out a war cry and launches himself up onto Sebek’s shoulders to snatch his beads. This, of course, ends with the two of them wrestling around in the dirt. Only Leona looks displeased. It must be all the stress.
When you return to the hotel, you realize it will be a long time before you’re able to actually get some sleep. There’s mountains of food, crowds of people, and a live band playing right in the center of the lobby. Sebek and Grim make a beeline right for dinner but Epel asks if you’d like to come dance with him. You agree but first you ask Floyd if he’d like to come too.
“Nah,” he says, his voice oddly quiet. “I’m goin’ to sleep.”
“Okay… goodnight.” You don’t get a reply.
“Don’t mind him,” Epel says. “He’s just in one of those moods. God forbid someone give him a task to do.” You chuckle then catch sight of Leona in the doorway.
“Don’t stay up too late,” he instructs.
“We won’t. Promise.” You doubt that Epel’s promise carries much weight. Even so, Leona leaves you all to your own devices. You eat until you're stuffed, dance until your feet are numb, and laugh until you can feel a headache forming behind your eyebrows. You end the night on a balcony with Sebek and Epel, watching the stars.
“Are you guys nervous?” You ask.
“Nope.”
“Not in the least.”
“Really?”
“The knowledge that the great Malleus Draconia will feel pride after my victory keeps my spirits high!”
“Shh dude,” Epel chastises. “People are sleeping.”
“I’m not being loud!” You can’t help but laugh.
“Well, good luck,” you say. “Not that you’ll really need it.” You bid each of them goodnight before retiring to your room. Inside, you find Grim sprawled out in the center of the bed, belly bulging from the copious amounts of food he ingested that day. You shake your head, roll him aside, and practically fall asleep the instant your head hits the pillow.
You wake up jittery with anticipation but with a joyful optimism in your heart. You’ve seen your schoolmates in action, you know that they have an amazing shot at winning. Even Grim is pumped as you tie on his festive ribbon. But all that hope flutters away when you hear a pounding at the door.
“It’s unlocked,” you call. The door opens and Epel and Sebek poke their heads inside, practically stacked on top of each other. They’re already dressed with their cloaks wrapped around them and their beds dangling down onto their shoulders. They would look like warriors already if it weren’t for the terrified look in their eyes.
“We got a problem,” Epel says.
“Uh-oh.”
“Yeah. And it’s a doozy.”
“Why don’t you get Leona?”
“‘Cause you’re the closest thing we got to a housewarden. And ‘cause Leona’s gonna be pissed and I don’t wanna get bit. Sebek, you wanna get bit?”
“I do not want to get bit.”
“He don’t wanna get bit neither. You gotta help.”
“What’s the problem?” Epel and Sebek exchange a glance. They appear to have a telepathic game of rock-paper-scissors before turning back to you.
“We can’t get Floyd out of bed.”
Epel, Sebek, and Grim fold themselves into your shadow as you stand in front of the door to Floyd’s hotel room. It’s eerily silent. You knock gently a few times, seeing if you can get a response.
“Floyd?” Nothing. “We’re coming in.” The light coming in from the windows illuminates every corner of the room and yet a feeling of lifelessness abounds. Floyd’s Bead Brawl costume lays in a heap on the ground at the foot of his bed. For a moment, you wonder if he’s even here. But then your eyes land on the largest pile of blankets you’ve ever seen in your life. He’s made himself a cave in bed. A small tuft of blue hair sticks out from underneath one of the pillows.
Epel and Sebek suck in a tense breath as you approach the bed. You try not to think of razor-sharp teeth and unhinging jaws as you reach an arm out. You give a small pat to your best estimation of where Floyd’s shoulder must be.
“Hey buddy,” you say as if talking to a potentially rabid dog. “It’s time to get up.” The blanket pile shifts and lets out an almost inaudible groan.
“We tried that,” Epel whispers.
“Without the touching,” Sebek adds.
“Yeah true. You’re brave.”
“Come on, Floyd,” you continue. You’re used to having to drag Grim out of bed, this shouldn’t be much different. Perhaps just a bit heavier. “I’m gonna pull the blankets off you.” Another groan. You ignore it, grab two fistfuls of the blankets and tug as hard as you can. The blankets are so tangled around Floyd’s limbs that you’re barely able to uncover part of his shoulders and hips.
“WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE!” Sebek shouts before shrinking back behind you again. The voice that responds is barely audible, but you’ve heard Floyd utter these words enough times that you know exactly what he says:
“I don’t wanna.”
“Well you’re gonna have to!” Epel says, finding some new courage. “If you don’t, we’re gonna have to forfeit the Bead Brawl!”
“NO WAY! YOU WILL NOT PREVENT ME FROM BRINGING HONOR TO MALLEUS!”
“Grab his feet.” Sebek does as Epel commands and grabs the section of blanket that probably houses Floyd’s feet. Epel takes his place by his shoulders and you take your place by the door. Together, the boys heave but Floyd doesn’t budge. They try again, both grunting with the effort. It’s not until the third pull that Floyd flops off the bed with a huge thump. He’s still wrapped in blankets but at least he’s out of bed.
“What is going on?” Leona’s voice makes everyone freeze. Grim scurries under the bed and out of sight. Leona’s face is twisted in barely-contained irritation. The muscles in his arms bulge as he crosses them over his chest. He glares at the pile on the floor.
“Is Floyd in there?” All you can do is nod. With a huff, Leona marches forwards and yanks a few of the blankets off Floyd. He almost leaps into a lecture but then he stops and drops the blankets from his hand. “Damn it.”
“What?” Epel asks, trying to see what Leona sees. Then, you notice it. Floyd has always been pale but never has his skin appeared so translucent. He’s also covered in a layer of sweat. You can tell his eyes are bloodshot even though they’re barely open. There’s no doubt about it; Floyd has a fever.
“Holy Hell! What happened to you!?” Floyd doesn’t answer. He breathes slowly through his mouth, his bottom jaw flexing with every inhale. You’ve seen this in eels, where they look like they’re gasping for breath. Somehow, it’s even more terrifying to see it in him.
“What are we gonna do?” Epel asks, panic seeping into his voice. “I mean, I don’t know eel anatomy!”
“DON’T DIE ON US NOW!” Sebek bellows. “YOU’RE HALFWAY TO GRADUATION!”
“YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR!” Epel joins.
“Shut up!” Leona snaps. “Let me think!” Leona’s brow furrows as he looks down at Floyd in his pathetic state. Then his face relaxes and one of his ears twitches. He’s listening to something out in the hallway. Or someone. For a moment, his eyes brighten. He dashes to the doorway and sticks his head out into the hall.
“Jamil!” Jamil?
“Jamil’s here!?” Epel asks, bounding after Leona. It takes only a second for everyone to be crowded in the doorway, looking out. You recognize Jamil right away even from the back and out of his uniform. He’s wearing white linen and brown sandals. His hair is slicked out of his face braided around his crown. He turns to face Leona and you see a twitch of venom in his eyes. But then, as if pulled by an invisible string attached to his shoulder blades, his posture straightens and he holds his hands in front of him at hip-height. As he approaches, the bangles around his wrists and ankles jingle. The jeweled adornments across his forehead glint in the early sunlight. His smile is pleasant but not real.
“How can I be of assistance, Your Highness?” An ominous chill fills the air. Leona wrinkles his nose and scowls.
“Ew. Don’t call me that.”
“Then what should I call you?” Leona and Jamil just stare at each other for a moment. There’s some unspoken understanding between them. At school, they are almost equals - both students under the same headmage. Not anymore. There’s a strange connection weaving between them due to the fact that they each occupy a role that no one else around them can imagine: the servant and the eternally served. It's strange to watch them morph into such different people. It makes your skin crawl.
“Leona will be fine,” Leona utters, his voice tight and way too formal.
“Very well, Leona,” Jamil responds. “How can I be of assistance?”
“We need your help with Floyd.” Jamil’s eye twitches.
“Floyd?”
“He should be in the Bead Brawl but he’s down. I need you to look at him.”
“I’m not sure why I’d be-”
“Because you know medicine and you know him.” It’s clear Leona’s patience is wearing thin. “All I need is him back on his feet. So just get in there and get his ass up.”
“With all due respect, I have other things on my plate at the moment.”
“Should I get Kalim? Have him ask you to do it?” Jamil scowls, his eyes shooting daggers at Leona. His hands are clenched so tightly that his knuckles are pale and shaking. Even you can tell that Leona has just played a card that Jamil cannot ignore.
“No need,” he mutters, keeping his jaw tight. You have the sense to step way out of his way as he comes into the room, practically pulling a storm cloud behind him. Leona closes the door once everyone is inside and leans back against it with his arms crossed. Jamil goes right to Floyd with a swift precision and squats beside him. All it takes is his hand on Floyd’s forehead for him to come to a conclusion.
“So… you brought a merman to the hottest, driest city that you have access to and now you’re shocked that he’s dehydrated?” It’s clear that the diplomatic politeness that once possessed Jamil is gone now that they’re behind closed doors.
“Sounds like we just need to get some water in him,” Epel says. “I’ll go get-”
“No,” Jamil interrupts. “It’s too late now, he’s running a fever. Even if you manage to get him recovered, he’s not going to do anything for several days. Believe me, I know. He’s useless in this heat and that wouldn't have been a surprise to you if you had thought about it for five seconds. You would’ve been better off bringing Azul because at least then you’d stand half a chance trying to carry him back to school.” Jamil stands and walks back to the door. Leona doesn’t move out of his way.
“But the Bead Brawl…” Epel starts, clearly trying to weaponize his gigantic baby blue eyes. “We won’t be able to compete.”
“I apologize for the disappointment,” Jamil replies. “If you’ll excuse me.”
“No,” Leona says.
“No?”
“You’re a Night Raven student,” Leona continues. “Which means you could slot into our team and we wouldn’t have to forfeit.”
“No.”
“Please,” you add, hoping that adding some sweetness will be more persuasive. “They’ve worked so hard. They really want to win.”
“I’ve given my answer. If you’ll please step out of my way, I have other things to attend to.” Still, Leona doesn’t move. A smirk plays at the corner of his lips.
“That’s a shame. I know Kalim was excited to see the tournament.”
“The tournament will continue.”
“Without his friends.”
“He barely knows you’re here.”
“Shame… you know, it was Floyd’s dream to participate in this.” Jamil narrows his eyes, trying to figure out Leona’s angle. “He’ll be devastated.”
“He’ll be fine.”
“I’m sure you’re right. But what will Kalim think?” Jamil’s shoulders sink. He’s figured it out.
“Hm.”
“He’ll be so disappointed, he’ll probably want to jump right in and win this thing in Floyd’s honor. And, hey, I might just let him. Better than nothing, right? I think I’ll go ask him, he’s right down the hall, yeah?”
“Wait.” Jamil clenches his fists. “I’ll do it.” Leona claps Jamil on the shoulder so hard it practically knocks him forward.
“Good choice. I’ll get you a uniform.” Jamil glares at Leona as he leaves, chewing on the inside of his cheek. You know you should say something but you stay quiet. Epel and Sebek’s loud celebration is enough of a distraction.
The arena is buzzing with excitement from participants and spectators alike. Music and voices merge together to create a joyous hum that is only somewhat spoiled by Jamil’s scowling presence beside you. You’re just grateful you get to be right on the sidelines with everyone. You can hardly sit still.
It’s decided that Sebek will be first to compete. This fate that would have you nearly passing out from anxiety doesn’t seem to faze him at all. He stands right at the entrance of the ring, shaking his hands back and forth at his sides and bouncing on the balls of his feet. He’s all focus, his eyes locked on his opponent across the ring. He ducks his head down, keeping it almost in line with his shoulders, and stares up through his eyebrows. You can see his opponent whispering to the rest of his team. No doubt they think he looks insane. But Sebek is not one to care what others think.
The judges announce the tournament is about to begin. You and Epel whoop as loud as you can to pump Sebek up but he doesn’t seem to hear you. He has locked onto his target. It’s impossible to tear him away. Right before the bell rings to begin, Sebek removes his cloak and tosses it your way. It takes both you and Grim to catch it before it hits the ground.
The long sleeves of the Night Raven College uniforms have hidden Sebek’s physique from you for the time that you’ve known him. Of course, you always knew he was strong, but you had no idea he was so massive. As the sun beats down from directly above him, every muscle casts a rippling shadow down his body. His chest is practically bursting out of the shirt of his costume and you can see every crease in his abdomen. For a moment, you fear for his opponent. And it looks like he fears for himself.
The bell rings and Sebek gets low. He’s almost in a full crawling position with one of his arms on the ground in front of him and the other pointed straight back. He keeps his head, shoulders, and spine in a perfectly straight line. His opponent is bouncy and begins to approach in a sweeping semi-circle. He’s trying to bait Sebek into following him but Sebek stays perfectly still. Only his eyes slide back and forth, never wavering. The opponent almost seems scared to approach. You would be too.
“GET ‘EM, SEBEK!” Epel calls. “TAKE ‘EM DOWN!” This prompts the opponent to strike. He lunges at Sebek, grabbing for a strand of beads. Sebek drops to the ground, rolls away, and pops right back up into position. The crowd goes nuts. Sebek takes advantage of his challenger being off-balance and attacks. He seizes him around the waist from behind, expertly topples him to the ground, and snatches every single one of his beads. A cacophony of cheers echoes across the arena. Sebek jumps to his feet and pumps his fistful of beads into the air.
“FOR MALLEUS!” He roars. You can practically hear Leona rolling his eyes even from way up in the stands. You, Epel, and Grim scream your applause from your side of the ring. Jamil claps politely but his face is stony. He’s wrapped himself in his cloak, even going so far as to pull it up over his head. It makes you sweat more just looking at him.
“Nice work!” Epel says, leaping up to chest-bump Sebek. Which was a bad idea considering the force sends him sprawling to the ground.
“I want to keep these,” Sebek says, staring at the beads as if they’re tasty prey he’s about to devour.
“Keep ‘em,” Epel says. “Who can stop you?” Jamil rolls his eyes and settles his chin in the palm of his hands. Leona’s new master plan is to have Jamil participate as little as possible by having him set to go last. If all goes well, he may not even have to step into the ring. It’s all up to Epel.
Epel is springy on his feet. Unlike Sebek, who was laser-focused, he doesn’t even look across the ring at his opponent. He instead faces his own team as you feed him words of encouragement.
“You got this,” you say.
“I know it,” he replies with a smirk.
“Remember, try to look non-threatening.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“Maybe cry a little bit.” Epel throws his head back with laughter.
“Maybe,” he says. He makes his way to the center right as the bell rings to begin the match. His opponent is cocky and charges ahead right away. Epel expertly dodges with a chuckle.
“Come on now,” he taunts. “Ain’t no way you thought it’d be that easy.” He bounces on the balls of his feet and gestures for his opponent to come closer. With a growl, he falls right into Epel’s trap, lunging again. Epel laughs and evades. A third strike yields the same result. The crowd cheers and groans with every movement, filling Epel with pride and excitement.
“Come on, Epel!” You call to him. “You can do it!”
“My turn,” Epel says to his opponent. He’s too fast for the adversary to react. Epel is in his personal space in a moment but he raises his knee at just the right moment to force Epel to back away. “Scared?”
“Of what? Some little girl?” He doesn’t realize he’s just triggered a land mine. Epel stops bouncing. His eyes widen and his head tilts to the side ever-so-slightly.
“A girl?” Here it comes. In a second, the contenders are grappling with each other, kicking up a cloud of dust that’s nearly impossible to see through. You and Sebek stand in unison, trying to make out what’s happening. After a second, a familiar fist emerges from the cloud with a strand of beads in hand.
Epel bounds towards the edge of the arena, making sure everyone can see his victory. His opponent is still on the ground, panting. Epel hoots and hollers loud enough to wake the dead as he does a victory lap around the ring.
“HELL YEAH!” He screams. “HELL THE FUCK YEAH! DID YOU SEE THAT SHIT!? YOU THOUGHT I WAS SOME DEFENSELESS LITTLE GIRL! NEVER UNDERESTIMATE ME, FUCKER!” Epel removes his mask and spikes it into the ground like a football. It bounces in a high arc and misses an audience member by only half an inch. The bell rings again, twice this time, and a judge’s voice utters a death sentence:
“Epel Felmier of the Night Raven College Team, you are officially disqualified for unsportsmanlike behavior and vulgarity.”
“WHAT!?”
“This is a respectable sports event, you idiot,” Jamil hisses. “You can’t just prance around using that language. You are in the presence of a crown royal. Doesn't matter that it's just Leona.” Epel storms back to his seat and plops down in his chair. You can practically see smoke coming out of his ears.
“You fought well,” Sebek says. “It is a shame you had to act with such dishonor.”
“What’s worse is that now I have to get in there.” Jamil stands, letting his cloak drop back into his chair.
“Good luck.” He doesn’t seem to hear you. He takes his position and stands completely still. His expression is unreadable. He stares across the ring as if he’s watching a professor give a lecture. His opponent is the biggest yet, at least a head taller than Jamil and nearly twice as wide. Still, Jamil doesn’t react. He just slips off his shoes.
The opponent wastes no time after the bell rings. He goes straight for Jamil. Jamil dodges with ease, spinning on the balls of his feet. You can vaguely hear Kalim’s voice in the stands calling out words of encouragement. This seems to have no effect on Jamil. Does he even hear him? He just keeps staring blankly. He forces his opponent to chase him around the ring by expertly dipping and weaving and spinning just out of reach. It’s like a dance. The beads clacking against each other as he moves is almost hypnotic. You can’t help but lean forward in your seat.
The opponent lunges for Jamil with both hands, creating a sort of cage that seems impossible to escape from. You cover your mouth with both fists as you watch. Jamil ducks low then pops back up on the other side of his opponent’s arms. He moves to lunge again but Jamil stops him just by raising two fingers. Between them is a strand of beads.
A roar echoes around them. You feel Epel grab your shoulders and shake you in victory. Jamil doesn’t celebrate. He simply moves out of the ring, drapes his cloak back around himself, and sits down. He doesn’t care that he won. He just keeps staring straight ahead.
You pay less attention as the rounds go on. You spend most of the time just chatting with Epel and Sebek. Of course, there is the occasional moment where you’re swept up in the excitement but it’s mostly just a time for rest. At some point, Leona appears behind you all.
“Good job Sebek and Jamil,” he says. He glares at Epel.
“I know," Epel groans.
“Sure. And you will be running laps for the entirety of the next eleven Spelldrive practices.”
“Shit."
“What was that?”
“Yes sir.”
“Yeah. Alright, next round will be harder. Better opponents. Jamil, you’re going to have to be in again.”
“Mhm.”
“You chose to be here. I could’ve asked Kalim but you wanted it to be you.”
“Mhm.”
“Tsk. Whatever. Just don’t lose.” Leona leaves, heading back for his seat in the stands way above them all. Only Jamil’s eyes move as he watches him go. He stares at the massive throne for a long time.
“Alright…” Epel says, sensing the tension. “I’m gonna go get a drink. Sebek?”
“I will join you.”
“Wait for me!” Grim says, leaping for Sebek’s shoulders. That leaves you and Jamil alone. For a moment, you let it be silent. But your guilt is eating at you, you have to say something.
“Listen um… so earlier… with you and Leona…” Jamil exhales loudly through his nose. “It was kind of intense… and weird.”
“These events aren’t as much fun if you’re not actually on the guest list,” he says.
“Oh.” You hadn’t realized until now: Kalim was the one to actually be invited. Jamil was brought to serve.
“At these sorts of events, I just go where I’m told. Follow the finger snaps.” You steal a glance up at Kalim in the stand. He’s surrounded by people wearing the same white linen Jamil had on earlier. The clothes are a uniform, marking them as servants. They’re meant to broadcast their status to everyone in attendance.
“And," he continues, "I was so close to getting to sit the whole time and just watch it all happen. But no… I have to do this now. All because I lingered in the hallway.” Jamil holds his chin in his hand again. He isn’t scowling anymore. His expression isn’t angry. It’s almost sad.
“They really snap at you?”
“Not the worst way to get my attention.” He scratches absently at the braids at the nape of his neck. He sighs again and leans back in his seat. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” Epel, Sebek, and Grim return before you can protest.
“Water for all,” Epel announces, passing everyone a cup. You take it gratefully, having forgotten just how hot and sticky everything around you feels. You won’t miss the humidity, that’s for sure. Sebek downs his cup in an instant. Jamil surrenders his own. You notice Sebek is sweating buckets and wobbling a bit on his feet. He’s going to need a lot of water.
The final rounds are with the reigning champions. As much as he tries to deny it, you can tell this makes Sebek nervous. He absently picks at his fingernails as he watches his opponent take his place in the ring.
“You got this,” Epel says.
“Yes. Yes, I do. Splash me, Epel!”
“Yeah, alright.” Epel takes the rest of his cup of water and dumps it directly onto Sebek’s face. Sebek shakes his head like a dog and whoops.
“Now I am adequately moist! There will be no drying out for me. I will be strong!”
“Wow,” Jamil deadpans. “Leona brought two people predisposed to dehydration to flank his team. Excellent work, just great.”
“I am an attendant of Malleus Draconia,” Sebek continues. “I have been trained to defeat enemies much stronger than my current adversary.”
“Aren’t you worried about what he’s going to think of this?” Jamil asks, eyeing the challenger.
“What do you mean? He will be proud to have a Sunset Warrior as his right hand.”
“Fine, now that it’s just a title. But what happens if war breaks out and you have to leave Malleus? Or what if Briar Valley and Sunset Savanna wage war on each other? Then what's the plan?” Sebek’s face goes pale. You notice the ghost of a smile cross Jamil’s face. But he keeps staring straight ahead. “I don’t think he’d like that at all.”
“Why’re you razzin’ him up like that?” Epel demands.
“Just posing a hypothetical. It’s not my fault that he hasn’t thought this through.” Sebek’s mouth opens and closes like a fish. You swear you see his pupils drift apart.
“Don’t listen to him,” Epel says, trying to push Sebek towards the ring. Sebek doesn’t move at all.
“What have I done?” He whispers.
“No, Sebek, hang on,” you say, trying to repair some of the damage done. “It’s not a big deal. Don’t let him get in your head.” Sebek wanders into the ring like a man fresh out of a sensory deprivation tank. He trips over his own feet getting into position.
“Why did you do that?” Epel hisses to Jamil. Jamil keeps his eyes firmly focused on Leona up in his throne.
“I want to watch Leona squirm.”
“So you’re just gonna throw the whole game?”
“Mhm.”
“Wait a minute,” you interrupt. “You didn’t throw the last one.”
“Kalim needs something to cheer about,” he mutters. “One victory is enough to satiate him for a while.”
“You’re evil,” Epel says.
“Maybe.” The bell rings. You, Epel, and Grim yell at the top of your lungs, trying to get Sebek to snap out of his fog. But it’s no use. He stands completely still. His opponent is a massive man, a retired brawler who has been brought in as a substitution. You still have your doubts about the fairness of this special rule but you keep your mouth shut. After all, what do you know?
At first, the opponent seems wary of Sebek’s stillness, remembering his first round. He eyes him closely, only taking a few small steps closer. He keeps his center of gravity low, preparing for Sebek’s rolling technique. But he quickly notices what the entire crowd does too, Sebek isn’t planning on moving.
“COME ON, GO!” Epel hollers. Shocking everyone, Sebek drops to his knees.
“MALLEUS I HAVE FORSAKEN YOU!” He yells at the sky.
“Here we fuckin’ go.”
“I HAVE MADE A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL AND THIS IS THE PRICE I PAY. FORGIVE ME MY TRANSGRESSIONS!”
“Somebody get him outta the rink. I swear, I’m gonna beat his ass.”
“Hey man…” Sebek’s opponent says, looking around for advice. “I don’t know what this is-”
“TAKE THEM!” Sebek yanks his own beads off his mask.
“NO!” Epel screams, his face flushing scarlet. “IDIOT, IDIOT, IDIOT!”
“I cannot dishonor my liege,” Sebek says, holding his beads out to his opponent. “I have committed a grave offense against him. I must atone.” The opponent analyzes Sebek for signs that this may somehow be part of an elaborate scheme. He doesn’t know Sebek is incapable of scheming. It’s over, he’s done. The opponent takes the beads from Sebek’s hands and the crowd claps politely yet bewilderedly.
Epel dramatically smacks his forehead repeatedly against one of the posts marking the outside of the ring. Sebek comes back to his seat and all eyes lock onto him. You all sit in silence for a long time, trying to avoid looking anywhere near Leona’s position.
“I hate you,” Epel says, keeping his forehead pressed against the post.
“I know. I hate myself.”
“It’s okay,” you say. “Two rounds left. We just have to win both of those.”
“I will not be battling again.”
“Yeah, no shit,” Epel spits. “Jamil, I blame you.”
“Fine.”
“Still gonna throw your round, huh?”
“Yes.”
“Don’t make it obvious,” Epel sneers. “Or Leona might have to skin you alive. We already know Sebek’s gonna be a nice gator rug for the Savanaclaw lounge.”
“I am a crocodile.”
“Suck my dick.” Jamil ignores the bickering and walks into the ring, just as unreadable as the last time. You dare to glance up at Leona in his throne, preparing yourself for flames shooting out of his eyes. But he’s not there. As a matter of fact, you can’t spot him anywhere. The bell rings and your eyes go back to Jamil.
The opposing team clearly remembers Jamil’s fighting style. They’ve sent out someone much smaller and slimmer than his previous opponent. In terms of speed and agility, they’re evenly matched from the get-go. Neither of them stop moving for a second. They dance around each other, each one occasionally snapping for a strand of beads. Even though you know Jamil intends to lose, you can’t help but feel your adrenaline rising as you watch them go.
Jamil grabs for his opponent’s beads but is countered. His opponent takes him by the arm, swings him around, and latches his fingers around a strand of beads. At least, that’s what he thinks. You suck in a breath, realizing what just happened before any of your companions do. What the attacker thought was a string of beads that had gotten caught across the top of Jamil’s mask was actually the jewels secured into his hair. And now here he stands, holding Jamil by his roots. He realizes his mistake and releases, practically throwing Jamil away from him.
There’s no apathy in Jamil’s expression anymore. He and his opponent stare at each other, both frozen. Jamil’s shoulders are hunched forward and his breathing is heavy. Some of the hair at the front of his head has come loose, causing several strands to fall into his face. One of his eyes twitches. Your blood runs cold at the look on his face. He’s enraged. And his opponent is terrified, still holding one of the jewels he pulled free.
“You pulled my hair,” he hisses.
“I- I am so sorry. I thought- I was trying-” Jamil launches himself at his opponent. The poor guy is face-down on the ground in an instant with one of his arms pulled straight behind him and Jamil’s knee between his shoulders. Jamil yanks the beads off, practically pulling the mask off with it. He tosses the beads to the ground as he stands and walks right back to his seat. Even Epel in all his rage can’t help but cheer.
“YOU HOG-TIED HIS ASS! HELL YEAH! FUCK HIM!” A stern look from the judges warns him that he’s one outburst away from being ejected. Jamil smooths the loose hair away from his face and goes back to staring straight ahead. This victory might mean nothing to him. But there’s a sparkle in his eyes that makes you doubt that.
The next match brings uncertainty. You have no idea if Leona will choose to send Sebek in who he knows will forfeit or risk sending Jamil who he surely must know might throw it all away. You don’t envy his position as the decision-maker. It’s not until a masked stranger approaches and calls himself by your name that you remember that dubious special rule. Leona is in the ring.
His brawl is a thing of beauty. So effortless and easy. His opponent never stood a chance and yet there were a few moments you could’ve sworn he came close to a victory. But you know that Leona is just toying with him. Victory was certain the moment he stepped down from his throne. Leona Kingscholar had what he wanted - a perfect excuse to not do his sacred duty. You know that everyone will get an earful on the way back home but honestly, judging by the very real and very rare smile across Leona’s face, you’re not worried. It’s all so joyous that everyone seems to forget about the fact that someone will need to carry Floyd back to school.
