summary: absolutely nothing Bucky has ever done has been easy; so what is it about you that changes that?
"I know that you're not justifying cheating right now."
"I'm literally Captain America, I cannot believe you're accusing me of something so salacious."
"Using your super strength to hit a strike is so definitely cheating, Rogers."
Bucky's friends were scattered around the small, in compound bowling alley. Sam was hunting down his ball to take his turn but you and Steve were stood toe to toe by the control podium.
"You cannot prove that, I'm a naturally strong person."
"Like hell, pipsqueak." The look Steve sent him could boil water, but the dazzling smile you graced Bucky with made it worth it. "You've never been naturally strong, you just don't want to lose."
You came to sit down next to him, leg folding over his and a triumphant look on your face. "If you want to use your abilities that's fine, but then you can't argue that I can't use mine."
"You literally have telepathy."
"Hey, fair is fair." Bucky's smile lifted the notes of his voice, his warm hand cradling yours.
"You're a traitor." It was Steve's turn again, and from the smirk on Sam's face - they had missed another strike.
"Don't worry, we'll still beat them." Your conspiratorial whisper was enough to illicit a chuckle from Bucky, hand tightening around yours.
It was during these little moments, surrounded by you and his friends bickering, that he realizes how much things have improved. He's never had an easy time with anything. Even before the war he would struggle to stay afloat. To care for Steve and his family. But you just made things easy. Your smile made it easy to smile, your eyes easy to love.
Hey I was wondering if I should write a Bucky x OC story what do y'all think I am just curious cause I have ideas in my head just don't want to be judged for what I write cause I am not the best writer what do y'all think ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
This is the first of a new series I'm doing of one-shots based on Taylor Swift's albums Folklore and Evermore. They are storytelling GOLD!! If ppl have ideas or requests for pairings for other songs let me know!
She pinched the bridge of her nose as she shut her phone off. She knew better than this, than to dig this grave up again of her own volition, to reminisce on and regret things long gone. It really had looked like him though.
She stumbled home, cobblestone sending jolts up her legs, winter air sharp in her lungs. The phone that dangled from her limp and forgotten wrist was opened to a text conversation long abandoned. As she leant against the side of her apartment building for a moment she studied the old texts again. The words were blurry and almost illegible with alcohol, but she didn’t need to see them to remember.
At least five years earlier, she sat under the stars, her feet dangling and submerged in cool water of the local public pool. The summer air was stifling. “I can’t believe you actually broke us in here.” She practically gawked at him as she rested her head on his shoulder, fidgeting with the dogtags that hung around his neck. She shook with him as he chuckled. “Told ya it was the best way to beat the heat.” A metal arm snaked around her, supporting her as she let herself lean her full weight onto his shoulder. They sat, basking in starlight, silence surrounding them for a long while, before he spoke again. “I didn’t just bring you here to cool off,” he admitted. She picked her head up from his shoulder so she could look at him. “Oh really?” he nodded in response, “Why are we here then?” she asked. He simply gave her a satisfied smirk and pulled out two pennies. After a moment of confused silence he held them out to her and whispered “wishes.”
“I don’t think those are going to work here. It’s not like this is a fountain or anything, it’s just a regular pool,” she said, but he simply shrugged in response, clenched one in his fist with closed eyes, and then tossed it into the pool. She laughed, but held out her hand anyway.
“What’re you gonna wish for?” He asked with a wry smile. She shook her head.
“You know I can’t tell you! Then it won’t come true!”
“You don’t know that. This is a swimming pool! The rules could be different.” He pushed but she simply closed her eyes and held a penny in a clenched fist close to her heart. She knew exactly what she wanted. With a deep breath, she opened her eyes and flicked the penny into the pool. The wink she shot him sent him into a cascade of shoulder-shaking laughter. He pulled her in close and placed a kiss on the top of her head.
“What am I gonna do with you?” He asked as she turned her head to look up at him, In lieu of a response she gave him a quick kiss on his lips, before moving to get up but he held her close. He pulled her in tighter and kissed her again. It was gentle and lingering, warmth radiating from their points of contact. He pulled back, just barely, still inches away from her face. “Bucky Barnes,” she began breathlessly, “I love you,” he smiled at her admission.
“I love you too doll,” he spoke before kissing her once more. Those words having passed between them for the first time, she felt them present in the way he kissed her. Every single thing that they say you should feel, sparks, fireworks, butterflies, you name it, she swore she felt them all. And as he pulled back to look at her again, she had a feeling that her wish had come true.
She pinched the bridge of her nose as she shut her phone off. She knew better than this, than to dig this grave up again of her own volition, to reminisce on and regret things long gone. It really had looked like him though. She had been walking home from drinks with friends when she first spotted a familiar silhouette waiting for the bus. Then she saw the messy bun of dark hair and she stopped in her tracks altogether. But then he turned and the face wasn’t right and she remembered that he’d cut his hair a year ago, not long after they had broken up, and had worn it short ever since. She had always loved his hair.
Two years ago she sat on the end of their bed, mascara painting her cheeks. He stood across the room, eyes on the floor. Silence had hung heavy between them for an indeterminable yet agonizing amount of time. “I’m sorry.” he shattered the silence and she shook her head.
“No, I’m sorry.” She sighed and looked up, hoping to meet his eyes but finding only his vacant stare pointed at the ground. “I shouldn’t have pushed you like that.” He practically growled in response.
“That’s not on you. I shouldn’t have put my fucking hands on you” Her hand went instinctively towards her neck, metal fingers still imprinted, stinging on the skin. “That’s never ok.” His voice broke and she could hear how exhausted and in pain he was.
“James.” Her use of his name like that, a bit strangled like her heart was in her throat blocking it from coming all the way out, raised his eyes from the floor and he met hers. “It is not your fault. It was just a nightmare. I’m ok.” He let out a frustrated sigh and hung his head.
“It’s been years. Nothing’s changed. I’m always going to end up hurting people,” He picked his head up, “even you.” Now she sighed.
“I trust you with my life. We can figure this out.” Her voice came out steady and confident despite her insides feeling like mush. He didn’t respond, instead he sulked to the bathroom and turned on the shower for her before rushing out of the room. She sat in the silence for a moment before allowing herself to rise and settle under the warmth of flowing water. She found him asleep on the couch in the morning, heart aching to see him curled up alone like that, metal arm held tightly against his chest.
She entered her apartment and stepped out of her uncomfortable heels and unzipped her dress, relinquished the tension of being on display for anyone and everyone. Instinctively, she stepped into a scalding shower. The sting of the hot water washed and boiled away anything else on her mind, it always did. In a fluffy robe, feeling clean and reset, she stared out over the New York skyline. A view that she had earned for herself. She saw again in her mind the silhouette at the bus stop, and a fond smile reflected back to her in the glass of the window. It is a bit lonely at the top. She thought to herself with a warm sadness as she climbed into her all-too-large, all-too-empty bed.
A year ago things had been going well. He was in therapy, the nightmares were subsiding, it felt like they were settling into something even more safe and comfortable than they’d been in before. She had just come home from work to find him lying on the couch, half-heartedly reading a book. “Hi,” she said with a smile as she leaned down and gave him a quick kiss, which he tensely reciprocated. “Are you ok?” she asked as she settled down next to him. He let out a shaky sigh, waves of tension radiating from him.
“Not really,” he started, and she quirked an eyebrow.
“What’s up?” she asked but they just sat in silence for a few moments and he looked like he was going to puke. His nervousness was starting to rub off on her. “James, what’s going on? You know you can talk to me,” she pressed a bit further.
“When was the last time you did something for yourself?” He rushed words out finally.
“What?”
“I mean... when was the last time you prioritized yourself? When was the last time you didn’t feel like you had to think about me? Didn’t worry about me?” Once he started the words just started to fall out.
“Buck I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I’ve just...” he paused to think for a long moment, “I realized that you spend the majority of your time with me, checking on me. When was the last time you went out with your friends?” She opened her mouth quickly to answer but was left stunned for a long moment when she realized she couldn’t remember. He continued, “Didn’t you just lose out on that promotion at work a week ago? Why was that?” He asked. She jumped in quickly this time.
“No, that one was on me. I wasn’t as prepared so they gave the promotion to someone who was ready for it.” He shook his head.
“Doll.” he inhaled deeply, like going on was going to be like pulling out a deep splinter, something requiring a large exhale to assuage the pain. “I had a panic attack. A couple of weeks ago. I had another nightmare and I freaked out and you spent all day and all night taking care of me.” Those last few words had a bite to them that stung deeply. “And you didn’t have time to work on that presentation. The one that you said was make or break for your future at the company.” Tears blurred his eyes now, and her own eyes were quickly threatening to follow suit.
“James, you matter more to me than a dumb job. It’s ok.” She took his hand, unable to not notice his initial flinching at the gesture.
“Y/N, I love you more than anything. That’s why I’m saying this. It wasn’t just that promotion, it's been a million other things, you call out sick all the time, go in late, put off your work, miss nights with your friends, jeopardize your future and a job that I know you love, just because I can’t be ok. It isn’t fair to you.” She shook her head, tears now making good on their threats and then some, racing down her cheeks faster than her mind had caught up to what he was trying to say, what he was trying to do. He didn’t let her speak though, his voice came out quieter, and a bit more shy.
“It’s also not fair to me. I know what I’m doing to you is worse. By a lot, I know. But I’ve talked it out a lot in therapy and I lean on you so hard. It’s not fair to put that pressure on you, and I don’t know if I can ever get better if you’re always there to catch me when I fall.”
“So you’re breaking up with me because I’m too good at being there for you,” Her voice broke with his heart as she choked on her words.
“No, that’s over simplifying it. Trust me I don’t want this either, but-”
“Then why are you doing it, James?!” She hadn’t meant for her voice to come out with such an angry desperation. Her knuckles turned white as she gripped his hand.
“When was the last time something that wasn’t me made you happy? You look deflated almost every time you come through that door. You’re exhausted, isolated, and I know you get frustrated with me so don’t try to act like you don’t.” His voice shook now. She stared at him in a shocked silence and he let her process. After a few painful minutes she spoke, her voice soft, but biting. “So this is it then?”
He couldn’t meet her eyes anymore.
A year after the false sighting at the bus stop, she found herself wandering down the same street, coming home from a late night at the office. An email from one of the interns stuck late asking for clarification about something stopped her in her tracks as she typed out a quick response. She looked up from her phone and took a step forward before she was frozen again, this time by a pair of piercing blue eyes beneath a dark, close cropped, haircut. He stood a good ten feet away, clearly waiting for the bus, dog tags hanging out of his shirt, glove on his left hand like always. They held each other’s gaze for a long moment, neither willing to move any closer, afraid of what that might cause. Instead, he simply raised his gloved hand, and with a sad smile, gave her a small wave. She returned it as the bus pulled up, and after one last, lingering glance, he turned away and stepped on board. She stood, stuck to that spot on the street for a long minute after the bus was well out of sight, remembering a wish she had made on a penny in a public pool years ago. It would have been fun, if he would’ve been the one.
Summary: Very seldom does life go as we plan it. Life goes downhill after (Y/N) is kidnapped, and things only get stranger from there. Thrown into the world of Hydra, the Avengers, and superheroes there’s only one constant: Bucky Barnes. Is there any way for them to find the peace they both long for?
A/N: Final chapter! This project actually started with this chapter. There was a jokey line about Bucky and Sam being partners that kept bouncing around in my head into the wee hours of the morning and now we’re here. I had a lot of fun writing the whole deal and I hope you guys enjoy the finale!
Page dividers by @carryonmyswansong
Pairing: BuckyxReader
Word Count: 2.6k
Warnings:
Part 2
“What the hell, (Y/N)?”
(Y/N) just about drops her keys. It’s been months since she last heard Bucky’s voice. Relief floods through her before it’s quickly overtaken by anxiety. She does her best to tamp it down, takes a deep breath, pastes on her best it’s-been-a-while smile, and turns to greet him.
“Hey.”
“Hey?! Is this seriously where you’ve been this whole time?”
“Uh…” She glances up and down the hall and frowns. “Yes? This is my apartment.”
"Do you have any idea how long it took me to find you?"
"Mm, given the season, I'd say about six months. Which is crazy to me, because I never left the city."
Bucky shakes his head. "What've you been doing this whole time?"
"Well, considering everyone I used to work with is either dead, lost in time, finding a new sidekick, or sidekicking with someone else, a whole fat lot of nothing."
"Hey!" Bucky protests. "I am not Sam's sidekick, we're partners."
"Oh shit, I didn't realize that you two were dating. How's that going? Is he treating you well? I know you two didn't get along when you first met and-" Bucky presses her back against the wall and she laughs. "Okay, I'll stop."
Bucky's hands come to rest on (Y/N)'s waist and he sighs. "I missed you."
She wraps her arms around his shoulders and hugs him. "I missed you too."
"Why didn't you visit?"
"I didn't want to mess with your therapy."
"Bullshit."
"Okay. I didn't know if you'd want to see me."
"Why?"
"I don't know. Too many memories? I was kind of stuck between you and Steve and the others for a long time, and you were starting a new life outside of that." Bucky pulls away, but (Y/N) refuses to look at him. "I don't want you to have to worry about how to fit me into your life, Buck."
"You don't get to make that choice for me. I'm the only one who gets to decide who is and isn't worth my time."
"Okay."
"You get that I care about you, right? I don't care how you fit into my life, I want you there. Understand?" She nods. "Good."
(Y/N) sighs and presses her nose to Bucky’s chest. “I really did miss you. I’ll always miss you when I’m not with you.”
“(Y/N)…”
“I’m sorry, Bucky. For everything. I should’ve stuck around. I just… I got very, very used to being on my own while you were gone. I haven’t been in a good headspace since we were in Bucharest. Things made sense there. And that’s no excuse to fucking off without saying anything, but it feels like every time I finally get close to you, I lose you. It happened when you were sent to D.C. and then Bucharest and Wakanda. But if I figured that if I didn’t hold onto you this time, maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much when something else inevitably takes you away again.”
Bucky tips her chin up to look her in the eye. “You’re not gonna lose me.”
“You can’t know that.”
“I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen.”
(Y/N) bites her lip to hold back the negativity that sits just on the tip of her tongue. Bucky’s hand shifts to her cheek and he presses his lips to hers in a brief kiss. He pulls back just enough to ask if it’s alright.
“Only if it’s something you want,” (Y/N) breathes. “If I’m something you want.”
Bucky just nods and kisses her again. (Y/N) grabs fistfuls of his coat and pulls him as close as she can get him. Her mouth opens under his and Bucky groans at the first brush of their tongues. Want flashes through (Y/N)’s stomach and she begins shuffling them towards her door.
“Can I come in?” Bucky asks.
(Y/N) nods and backs right through the solid door and drags Bucky through after her by the front of his coat. He stumbles into the entryway and has to take a moment to regain his balance.
“Doesn’t matter how many times you do that, it’s still weird as hell.”
(Y/N) laughs. “But so convenient when you forget your keys.”
She quickly sheds her scarf and jacket and tosses them to the side before Bucky can pull her close again. With his hands on her waist, he takes his time kissing her. (Y/N), however, makes quick work of unzipping his coat and the hoodie underneath and Bucky lets her shove them off his shoulders. He tosses them to the side and crowds her further into the apartment, spurred on by her quiet laughter.
They stumble their way to (Y/N)’s bedroom, occasionally breaking away to discard a piece of clothing.
Just past the couch, (Y/N) sneaks her hands under Bucky’s shirt. “Is this something you want?”
Bucky nods and moves her hands up his chest, hitching his shirt up in the process. “For a long time, actually.”
“Okay.” (Y/N) nods and pulls his shirt over his head. “Okay, good.”
As soon as she tosses Bucky’s shirt onto the couch, Bucky picks her up, his hands warm and sure under her thighs. (Y/N) loops her arms around his shoulders rests her forehead against Buckys and he walks them the rest of the way to her bedroom.
“Should I be worried about ruining our friendship right now?”
“Only if by ‘ruin’ you mean ‘make it better’.” Bucky laughs and says, “I mean, if we’d had more time to ourselves in Bucharest I’m pretty sure we would’ve ended up here anyway.”
(Y/N) rolls onto her side to look at him. “You think so?”
He nods. “Three more months and I would’ve broken down and said something.”
“Three months?”
“Mhm.”
“It was the shared bed, wasn’t it.”
“It was the shared bed,” Bucky confirms.
“How long if I hadn’t been your live-in dream catcher?”
“No idea. But I don’t think a world exists where you wouldn’t have crawled into bed with me, so I won’t worry about it.”
“I’d be far more offended if you weren’t so dead on.” With featherlight touch she traces down his nose, over his lips, chin, down to his chest. “Y’know, the short hair looks good on you.”
Bucky turns his head and grins. “Yeah?”
“Mhm. You almost look a little lighter. Brighter, maybe. I like it.”
“Good.” He places (Y/N)’s hand over his heart. “I wish you actually had messed with my therapy. Would’ve gotten the shrink off my back a helluva lot faster.”
“Oh?”
“Do you know how hard it was trying to convince her I had friends? And apparently Wilson doesn’t count, and I couldn’t get in touch with you, so you don’t count either, which is such bullshit-” (Y/N) giggles and Bucky rolls over and wraps his arms tightly around her. “You think that’s funny?”
“A little, yeah. I mean, I spent years trying to prove I was your friend and now you have to prove you’re mine. That’s hilarious.”
“Mn, right, hilarious.” He holds her tighter and kisses her as she starts laughing again. “You should do comedy.”
“The only person who thinks I could ever be funny is you.” She pauses to think and her nose scrunches up. “Maybe Clint, but his sense of humor’s shot, so I don’t know if I’d trust it.”
“Have you talked to him recently?”
(Y/N) shakes her head. “I saw a few things about the Ronin and him on the news around Christmas. I think he might’ve had something to do with the tree at the Rockefeller Center falling over, but I can’t be sure.”
“I don’t even wanna know.”
“I hope he’s doing alright, though. Being left behind… it took a toll on everyone. Especially if your people were taken from you.” Her body briefly flickers and she pushes away from Bucky the second her shoulder dips into his. "Sorry, I… shit."
"What was that?"
She shakes her head. "Nothing."
"(Y/N)."
"It was just a glitch, it happens sometimes. It's fine."
"Why'd it happen?"
"Sometimes it's emotions, sometimes it's the weather. Honestly, it's probably a combination of the two at the moment. As it is, I'm not entirely corporeal when it's gray like this."
"Does it happen a lot?"
(Y/N) shrugs. "Not as much as it used to."
"When did it start?"
"It's always happened when I was anxious, but it got really bad a few days after that first snap. After we - I lost you."
"I'm sorry, (Y/N)."
She shakes her head and gently kisses him. "I don't want you to be."
"I just… you went through so much-"
"Everyone did, Bucky. Everyone lost someone. And I am one hundred percent sure there was nothing we could've done to prevent it. I mean, you saw the numbers we had. We were vastly outgunned." She sits back against the headboard and sighs. "I wish I could move past it, but it's so hard."
"It was five years. It doesn't need to be easy." Bucky takes her hand and gently rubs his thumb over her knuckles. "Tell me what happened?"
“I…” She scrubs her free hand down her face. “I shut down. There were things that had to be done, so I took whatever assignments Steve would give me to keep busy. And it worked, for the most part.”
“But?”
“But about a year in, my sister reached out. Our mother had passed away and our father and her immediate family turned to dust, so I was, quote, ‘all she had left.’ Which really made my skin crawl because they’d wanted nothing to do with me or my trauma. But I met with her because there’s something clinically wrong with me, probably.”
“What’d she want?”
“Well, at first I thought she just wanted to commiserate. She complained about money and cried about her family, but she’s barely better than a stranger at this point, so it just felt weird. And she’d never know what it was like to lose my, well… my you.” Bucky squeezes her hand. “But then she changed the subject and she-she wanted me to use my connections with the Avengers to get her a job, or something. So I just got up and walked out. After that it was just years of empty anger and grief.”
“(Y/N)…”
“I thought about you every single day.”
“You were the first person on my mind when we were brought back. But then you disappeared.”
“I know.”
“Did you even think about staying?” (Y/N) nods. “Why didn’t you?”
“I don’t know. I was someone else’s responsibility for so long and if I stayed I’d either be a burden, lose someone else, or both. So I just…” She shrugs and shakes her head.
“I wish you’d stayed. That I could’ve done something to keep you around.”
“It was never your fault, though.”
“I know, but-” Bucky carefully pulls her closer- “I don’t have many people left. Please don’t cut me off.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Mhm. As long as you want me around, I’ll be there.” (Y/N) gently combs her fingers through his hair, slowly dragging her nails along his scalp. “Are you still living in the city?”
“Yeah. Not sure I can stay in that spot, though.”
“Oh, why?”
“Mn. Shit happens.”
“Like that “shit” with Sam a few months back?”
“Different shit.”
“I see.” He grunts. “You did good with that, Bucky.”
“Sam did most of the work.”
“So it was a different beautiful man with a Vibranium arm saving those important government officials from a burning van?”
“No,” he grumbles. “That was me.”
“And it was a different man who went after that knockoff Captain America?”
“Well, Sam was there too-”
“Bucky, you did part of the work. You were the good guy. You are a good guy. Give yourself a little credit here.”
“You say that like there weren’t losses,” Bucky grumbles.
“Losses that Sam openly and publicly condemned.”
“Have you been keeping up with the cases or something?”
“A little,” (Y/N) admits. “I keep an eye on anything odd that shows up in the news.”
“And?”
“And it was interesting.”
“Oh really?”
“Well, that, and I think Walker’s an ass. It was only a matter of time before something went wrong.”
“The government tried to negotiate the terms of Steve’s legacy. Something would’ve gone wrong regardless.”
(Y/N) hums. “How’s Sam dealing with that, by the way?”
“He’s figuring things out. I just wish we’d talked to him about it before Steve handed over the shield.”
“Probably would’ve been a good idea.”
“I mean the shit he’s gotten because of the color of his skin is ridiculous. You know some people have started “Not My Captain America” rallies? It’s right up there with the election denial shit that happened.”
“There’ll always be angry racists out there. It’s one of the unfortunate side effects of where we live.”
Bucky snorts. “Shit’s ridiculous.”
“Yeah, but you know Sam. He’s more capable than most of doing the job, regardless of the social reaction. He’s already proved that to the world. And he’s got us and what’s left of the Avengers to back him up. We’ll make sure the shield stays with him.”
Bucky nods and (Y/N) kisses him and hauls herself out of bed. She shimmies into a pair of clean underwear and goes to get a glass of water from the kitchen. When she returns, she’s wearing Bucky’s shirt.
“Were you alone for the holidays?” Bucky asks.
(Y/N) shrugs and crawls back into bed. “Kind of, but it’s no big deal. Christmas was never all that important, so it’s not something I celebrate on my own.”
“Oh.”
“Was your family big on the holidays?”
“A little. We at least made sure we were all together for the big ones.”
“That sounds nice.” She props herself up on one elbow. “New Years used to be the big thing for me. Something about a fresh start was really appealing. Especially after I moved out for college.”
“Then I’d hate for you to be alone on New Years.”
“Well, you’re here right now. I’m not entirely alone.”
Bucky awkwardly clears his throat. “Sam invited me to spend New Years with him and his family.”
“Oh.” (Y/N) forced herself to smile. Bucky said she wouldn’t lose him again. So why does it feel like he’s about to break that promise? “That should be nice.”
“Hey, don’t do that,” Bucky sees right through, as always. He runs the backs of his fingers over her cheek. “Don’t shut down.”
“Sorry.” (Y/N) sighs and scrubs her hands over her face.
“Talk to me.”
“It’s nothing.”
“(Y/N).”
“No, it’s nothing. What’s Sam’s family like?”
Bucky sighs. “They’re normal, in the best way possible. His sister, Sarah, is real nice and her boys are great. They’re just… they’re just kids, y’know? They love their mom and they get to play and the only things they have to worry about are homework and whether or not they remembered to do their chores.”
(Y/N) tucks one hand under her cheek. “Sounds perfect.” Bucky hums his agreement. “Do you need a ride to the airport?”
“I was hoping I could convince you to come with, actually.”
(Y/N) frowns. “You want me there?”
“Of course I do. And Sam would love to see you again, obviously.”
She bites back her smile. “Obviously.”
“Will you spend New Years with me?” He kisses her knuckles. “Please?”
“Yes.” She grins and Bucky wraps her up in his arms and kisses her. “And Sam, of course.”
Bucky laughs. “Of course.”
Well, that’s the end! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, as well as the earlier ones.
I’d love to know what you thought of either this chapter or the story as a whole! Do you think Bucky and the Reader character can make it? Do you think their relationship felt like a natural progression of what was happening pre-thanos snap? Did you like the ending? Be sure to like, reblog, comment, and/or shoot me an ask and tell me all about it!
If you’d like to be tagged in future fanfiction, please let me know ;u;
A/N: This is my first time writing on this website or anything public really, I usually just write for me, please just bear with me if it looks or sounds janky. Also, thanks for taking the time to read. I deeply & wholeheartedly appreciate you. Enjoy!
Summary: I suck at them but, I'll give it a shot. You- the reader, are surprised by 'old' friends when they show up out of the blue, asking for your help on a mission. (This is just the sum for chap. 1)
The day was coming to an end, a small heatwave conjuring up a sweat as you wiped down your last table for the night. You blew out a breath, brushing back a sheen of perspiration with your forearm, watching the last customer walk out of the restaurant as the bell chimed above their head.
You never understood why people chose to sit inside when there were tables out on the sidewalk. It was hotter in here than out there, especially since the air conditioner had gone out just a few days prior and the fans above the tables were only circling the air inside. It was an actual oven, but they contended.
Your hightops heaved across the tile, dragging yourself with the sufficiency of a person who was only working because they had to. You kicked up the doorstop, pulling the door towards you with a small amount of goodwill and vigor to finish locking up, flipping the paper sign over from open to closed. It wasn't as if you hated your job. You thoroughly enjoyed the atmosphere of it all. It was the only person working the night shift job you hated with every fiber of your being. You weren't completely alone in the restaurant, having a few cooks and the owner to keep you company, especially on busy nights like the one you just had.
"I'm clocking out, Mrs. Turner!" You call out, reaching behind your back to untie the knot of your apron, pulling it up and off your neck once the ties came undone. Trudging back to the table, you picked up the disinfectant wipe and toss it in the bin, making your way to your boss's office before hanging up your apron on the hook. "Mrs. Turner...?" You murmur softly, poking your head in through the doorway, only to see her counting the profits for the day. "I'm heading home," You chime, pointing behind your shoulder with your thumb as she glances up at you.
"Alright, Honey," She beams, a bright smile pulling at her lips as her eyes meet yours. "I'll see you tomorrow then?"
Working for the Turners wasn't supposed to be a permanent job, in fact, it wasn't even your original plan, as opposed to the small favors you would complete now and then for the people that were willing to pay a pretty penny for your...services.
But you figured having a stable job was smarter and safer than the alternative. And the help wanted sign was very persuasive, due to the pretty colors and splashes of glitter. It looked like it was made by a child, which you later found out, was decorated by Mrs. Turner's seven-year-old. "Always." You accede, tapping the doorframe as your goodbye before parading into the breakroom to gather your things from the lockers.
You take your backpack off the hook and swing the strap over your shoulder before time punching your card and going straight through the back door. The sounds of the city hit your ears as the heavy door slammed behind you. Traffic honks and tires treading against the grain while you walk further into the busy streets of San Francisco.
As you were about to turn the corner, you were met with the sight of your friend's van, followed by a trumpet rendition of La Cucaracha. You grinned widely, gripping your strap tighter as you jog up the 1972 Ford Ecoline, aka Big Bertha. At least that's what you called it. "Luis!" You rejoice, resting your palms on the ledge. "What are you doing here?"
"Scotty sent me out for a few things," Luis answers, his hands gripping the steering wheel, his head turned to you. "I was just about to go when I saw you. Thought you might need a ride." He shrugs, a cute smile playing on his lips.
You nod, reciprocating the smile at his answer. "Yeah, if it's not too much trouble..." You drag, your voice hesitant, as if he didn't offer at all.
"Nah, get in." He gestures, beckoning you with a wave of his hand. "Your place is on the way," Luis loosens his seatbelt, reaching over to the passenger side to pull up the lock, opening the door for you.
You climb in, plopping down on the tufted leather seats as you pulled the door towards you, closing it shut. "Thanks, Lu," You breathe, dropping your backpack below your feet, then you fasten your seatbelt. "How is Scott, anyway?" You ask as Luis changes gears and presses the gas, the van rolls onto the street.
"Ehh...he's...he's alright, know what I'm sayin'?" He answers, glancing at you before focusing back on the road. "I mean, he missed like five years of his daughter's life. He's just trying to spend as much time with her to make up for years they both lost."
You nibble at the inside of your cheek, nodding softly in agreement as the city lights passed you by. There wasn't much you could say to that, having lost so many people yourself. People you considered family just...gone.
"Yo!" Luis pipes up, snapping you out of your train of thought. "Didja see the news today?!" He shakes his head, whistling at the thought. "I can't believe they would just give some random dude the shield like that, ya know?"
You drew in your bottom lip in contempt, nodding once again at Luis. You had seen the news, and they couldn't have picked a better time to broadcast. If it hadn't been for Mrs. Turner asking you in, you would've hunted Sam Wilson down and kicked his ass yourself.
The van rolled to a stop, brakes squealing as Luis pulled up beside your apartment. You sighed heavily, glancing at the small apartment you shared with your Ex-boyfriend. By the looks of the living room light illuminating behind the curtains, he was home, and you absolutely dreaded when he was. It wasn't as if you wanted to live with him, but you had no other alternative. Ever since dropping your side job, money was tighter, and he was kind enough to let you stay, just until you found a place. "Thanks again for the ride, Lu." You mumble, unclicking your seatbelt as you took hold of your backpack. "You didn't have to."
"Don't even mention it, Y/N," Luis reassures, watching you as you pull at the door handle, opening it to get out. "I know how hard it is to get back into the norm."
You shut the passenger door, shooting him a sympathetic smile. "I'll see you around?"
With a smile, Luis waves goodbye and drives off into the night, the exhaust pipe blowing smoke as he rode off. You shook your head, cracking a smile at the honk of his horn. You turned towards the front entrance of the apartment, your stomach twisting as your smile dropped completely. You swallowed thickly, rolling the tension from your shoulders to prepare yourself before jogging up the small flight of stairs.
You fished your keys from the front pocket of your backpack, taking a breath before shoving the key into the lock, twisting as you pushed the door open with your shoulder. "Joshua?!" You voiced, calling out your ex's name to make sure it was him. You dropped your belongings beside the door, pushing your sneakers off before kicking the door shut with your foot.
"Yeah, in here!" He responds quickly, a slight tremor to his tone.
You frown softly, tossing your keys into the bowl on the console table before sauntering to where his voice was emanating from. "Josh, are you...?" Your voice came to a halt, your footsteps stopping altogether as you walked into the living room.
"Hey!" Joshua exclaims once your figure comes into view. "You wanna explain who they are?" He presses, his face crossed with fear as he gestures to the two men sitting calmly on your living room couch.
You remained quiet, your body tense, eyes wide as your focus shifted between the men on the couch and your ex.
"Well...?" Joshua demands, crossing his arms over his chest, shifting in his stance at the unsettling glare one of the men was sending his way. "I was in the middle of hosting game night-as you can see, when they showed up," Josh drops his arms, hands splaying out to gesture to the coffee table consisting of five different dips, two bulk-sized bags of tortilla chips, and a twenty-four pack of Blue Moon beer. "The guys were just about to come over."
You take a deep breath, closing your eyes to refrain from any and all insults towards your ex. That explained why he was home. "Um..." You utter, pinching the bridge of your nose, "Fucking hell," You curse under your breath, eyes fluttering open to look at Joshua. "Josh," You begin, clearing your throat as you start with the man on the left. "They are Sam Wilson and..." You hesitate, eyes settling on the man to the right, his sight alone bringing back the memories that you swore you didn't want to remember. "James Barnes," You finish, ripping your eyes away from his baby blues to look at your ex. "Aka-"
"The Falcon and The Winter Soldier..." Joshua finishes for you, his eyes flashing with amazement, head whipping towards the guys. "Shit!" He curses, smiling widely like a kid in a candy store. "Can I get you guys anything? A plate? Beer?"
"Actually," You grunt, interrupting before Sam or Bucky could answer. "Can you give us a minute, Joshua?" Insisting while your foot tapped impatiently against the hardwood floor.
"Should I be worried?" He inquires, eyes filled with confusion as he looked between the three of you, trying to piece together the situation at hand. The main reason you and Joshua couldn't work it out was that you kept a lot of secrets, mostly from him. He didn't like the fact that you wouldn't let him in. Sure, you lied to him, the biggest lie being that you were an Avenger, but that was just to keep him safe. There were other reasons why you decided to split up as well. Joshua knew...he knew deep down you were just with him to pass the time. He could see it when he looked into your eyes. There was someone else in the reflection and it wasn't him. If he was honest with himself, he could admit that it did hurt him. That he wanted a chance to make it work with you, but with the way you were staring at James, he finally recognized that reflection.
He should've noticed it early on-like that day he had somehow convinced you to take a trip to D.C for a tour of the Captain America museum. You were hell-bent on not going, trying to make up some elaborate excuse or an alibi of sorts, but alas, you still went. And for some odd reason, you couldn't stop coming back to the Bucky Barnes portion.
"No," You reply, keeping it short to dismiss him.
Joshua's mouth set in a hard line, a foreign feeling forming in the pit of his stomach-jealousy. He never had to worry about it before, especially when his friends used to come over, back when you were still together. Except for that one time, but how could he blame them? You were the kind of person that listened, laughed at the jokes being made, could lend a hand when needed, and your looks were just a bonus in his book. "Uhm, yeah," He coughed, frowning softly while nodding his head at you. "I have to go pick up the pizza, anyway," Josh brushes past you, fetching his keys from the bowl while slipping on his Vans that sat up against the wall ledge that separated the front door from the living room. "Are you going to be okay?" He mumbles, glancing over his shoulder to look at you.
You shoot Josh a smile, nodding reassuringly, his footsteps approaching closer before stopping in front of you, the palm of his hand landing gently on your shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. "Let me know if you need anything, m'kay?" Josh's voice is soft, the concern in his eyes making you feel guilty. You knew he cared about you, and there wasn't a time where you'd catch him staring at you for far too long, but you were well past that. "I'm just a text away," He notes, waving his cell in his hand.
"Josh, I'll be fine," You sigh, stepping away from his touch, the sound of his hand hitting his jeans as it dropped from your shoulder. "I always am."
"Right," Josh nods, looking over at the men on the couch before gazing back at you. "I'll see you in a bit, bug." And with that, he turns, opens the front door, and steps out, shutting the wooden door behind him.
You close your eyes, the pet name Josh had coined for you making you sigh. He agreed to stop calling you that all together and it only made you feel that more guilty for ending things. "So..." You pipe up, opening your eyes as you turned to look at the guys. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"
"Bug?"
Bucky is the first to speak, his jaw clenched at the mere sound of the word. Indignant at the way Josh had touched you, even if it was just your shoulder. "I didn't know he knew you like that," Bucky flashes you a taut smile, nodding softly as he shared a look with Sam, but the falcon only shook his head. "How long have you been..." Bucky couldn't even finish the question, his glove-clad hands tightening at the thought of you being with somebody else...someone that wasn't him. Though, it was his own fault. If he hadn't done what he'd done-you'd have never found another.
"Wow," You scoff, padding closer to where they sat. "You don't miss a beat, do you? Just..." You sink into the sofa adjacent to the one they occupied. "-Right into the big stuff."
"I didn't bring you here to question her about her love life," Sam voices, his scolding eyes on the man beside him. "And she sure as hell isn't obligated to answer you, Bucky."
You smile gratefully at Sam before glancing down at your leg that had begun to bounce in anticipation. "What are you guys doing here? And how'd you find me?" You ask, tilting your head in curiosity as you look up at the guys. "When I resigned from the Avengers initiative, they ensured me that I wasn't able to be traced, not by your or any other remaining member. I was supposed to be scot-free," You declare, hitting your thigh with your fist.
"Oh, come on, Y/N," Sam chuckles, shaking his head at the naivety. "We both know that's a bunch of bullshit. The government is always going to have its eyes on us. Especially free agents like you and us."
You draw in your bottom lip, biting down, eyes flickering between Sam and Bucky. You knew it was too good to be true, and part of you sensed the bullshit when the government explained it to you. You just didn't want to believe it.
"You were an ex-assassin. How could they not keep tabs on your whereabouts?" Sam recounts, emphasizing that it was in the past. At least, that's what they thought. "And I had some help from Redwing as well." He shrugs nonchalantly.
You choke out a laugh, shaking your head at the smug demeanor emitting from Sam. "Redwing," You whisper, smiling thinly. "Of course, nothing could ever be hidden from your personal P.I, huh?"
"I hate that thing," Bucky grumbles, folding his arms across his chest. in annoyance. "Invasion of privacy, I'm telling you."
"You love redwing," Sam jokes, playfully jabbing Bucky's arm with his elbow, "It's okay Bucky, you can admit it."
"Can we get back to the issue here?" You interject, "Not one of you has explained the reason you're here. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's great to see you...one more than the other," You whisper that last part but, completely aware that Bucky could hear it. "But, you both showing up out of the blue...? That's almost a bad omen."
"I didn't ask him here, by the way," Sam acknowledges, raising his hands in defense, "I just want to get that out of the way. Bucky came because he wanted to. I'm here," Sam gestures to himself, "-For one reason and one reason only..."
"And what's that?" You ask, leaning forward in your seated position.
I would like to make a request from the prompt list if you don’t mind with Jefferson or Bucky
if you interrupt me one more time— so help me god
“Bucky,” You heard him take a deep breath in. You knew better than to interpret him while training, but you couldn’t help it. His shirt was long gone, sweats hanging low on his hips
“Bucky.”
“Bucky.”
“Yes, doll?” You smiled when he answered
“Did it hurt?”
“Did what hurt doll?”
“When you fell from heaven.” Bucky blushed and rolled his eyes
“Doll, you know better than to interrupt my workout.” You pouted
“Come on, you really expect me to just walk by when you’re over here like this.” You motioned to his sweaty torso. You licked your lips. Bucky shook his head and went back to his sit ups. You moved over to sit in front of him. You felt your heart race, then you felt it in your cunt. Your thighs twitched. Bucky pretended that he didn’t notice you shifting from side to side in front of him. He could smell your arousal, trying to get some sort of relief. Bucky ignored you, closing his eyes and putting his earphones in on low volume, he continued his sit ups. You glared, crossing your arms over your chest. You couldn’t believe he was choosing to ignore you, normally by now he would have you pinned beneath him. You suddenly had an idea, smirking, you unzipped your hoodie. You were wearing nothing underneath, your fingers ran through your hair then slowly they made their way down your neck, your breath hitched once you reached your nipple. You lightly ran your thumb over the sensitive nub, pinching it in between your fingers. You felt your body slowly lay down, your back was arched. One hand playing with your breast the other made its way down your sweats. You weren’t wearing any underwear either, you bite back a moan when your finger grazes your clit. Bucky didn’t have to do anything to get a reaction out of you, just one look, smile or even a stare and you would be soaked. You would instantly fall to your knees for that man. You moaned at the thought, you on your knees, one hand has a fistful of your hair, the other around your neck. You gagging on his long thick cock, tears running down your cheeks as he face fucks you. Your fingers entered your aching cunt and you gasped.
“Bucky…” No response. You moved your fingers in and out slowly, arching them. You moaned out finding your sweet spot.
“Bucky…”
“Bucky…”
You whimpered
“Please…”
“Doll, If you interrupt me one more time, so help me-” He stopped mid sentence. You looked over at him through hooded eyes, his pupils were blown out, his breathing heavy. You couldn’t tell if it was from the work out or from the sight in front of him. And oh what a sight, you covered in a light sweat, panting, moaning, whimpering, breast fully exposed, your hand groping, pinching your nipple, the other two fingers deep in your soaping wet cunt. You were begging, begging for him to touch you, fuck you. Bucky could see how desperate you were. Bucky could see the wet spot in your sweats. Your eyes were drawn to the tent in his sweats, you drooled. Bucky noticed your gaze, he smirked. Lowering his sweats, he hears you moan. You stared at his cock, angry, veiny, thick and uncut. You wanted it in your cunt, in your mouth. You wanted a taste. His hand wrapped around himself and you whined
“Aww, did you think I was going to fuck you doll?”
“Bucky, please.” He crawled over you, grabbing your face. He forced you to look at him.
“Only good girls get rewarded, do you really think you were a good girl?” You nodded. He chuckled
“You’re funny, doll. You really think that interrupting me…” He grabbed your hand to stop you from fucking yourself.
“NO!” You were so close to finishing
“No?” His brow rose
“I was so close!” You cried out. Bucky scoffed, pinning your hands above your head. You wiggled.
“You really think that I’m going to allow you to cum after you played with my pretty little pussy.”
“Buc-”
“Don’t interrupt.” he lowered your sweats and spread your legs
“Who’s pussy is this?” He cupped your cunt, you felt yourself grind against his hand trying to get some relief. He smacked your clit, you moaned.
“I said, who does this pussy belong to?”
“You!” You cried, moaning once his thumb pressed against your clit.
“That’s right, she’s mine. Only I get to make my pussy cum.”
“Yes, only you.” You felt the familiar knot, you let out a sly smile
“Oh.” Your eyes shot open. You knew what he was going to do. You shook your head. Bucky laughed at your reaction. He stopped.
“NO!” You twisted around. Bucky straddled your hips. Leaning down, he whispered in your ear
“Keep throwing your tantrum, doll. Since you wanted to interrupt me, you’re going to be punished and you don’t get to cum til I let you.”
a. n. a continuation of “what a man” (linked below) but anyways pure smut!
what a man • b.b
in which a certain super soldier notices your wandering gaze and makes you an offer you can’t resist.
a. n. hi everyone!
you knew it was wrong. but it felt so right. here you were, on all fours on a lounge chair on the rooftop of the avengers tower. you knew what it meant when you had agreed to put the day to good use with bucky but you had no idea it would be on the rooftop. you also couldn’t help but feel excited that there was no place to hide.
“doll, i couldn’t keep my eyes off you all morning” bucky chuckled as his hand traced the edges of your bikini bottom. you turned to look at him with your doe eyes and he felt his insides go haywire. there was just something about you bent over, completely vulnerable that struck a chord in him and almost made him lose control.
“you know doll, i love this little outfit you have on” he landed a slap on your bottom and you let out a whimper. he chuckled and said “that’s cute.”
“are you going to do something soldier or do i need to take care of myself” you said flirtatiously. you quipped a brow, almost taunting him. bucky’s pulse quickened and he felt him blood rushing in his ears.
slowly he began dragging down your bikini bottoms over your ass. you let out a small gasp at the breeze hitting your pussy.
“you have no idea how much i’ve wanted to have this ass in my hands” he groaned out. he put both of his large hands on your ass and spread out apart. your eyes fluttered shut as you felt his warm breath right on your pussy.
suddenly he slowly licked a strip from your front to your back and you let out a foreign noise from your throat. it’s almost as if your moan set off a switch in him and he began to ravish you. his tongue felt heavenly and you couldn’t help but push back against his face trying to get as much friction as possible. his hand came up and slapped your ass. when his tongue came into your entrance, your eyes rolled to the back of your head.
“tell me what you want y/n... tell me what you want or else you won’t get what you want” bucky said. his voice muffled from being in between your legs.
“i want- ah! i want-“
“use your words pretty girl”
“i want you to fuck me with your tongue”
“who knew you were such a dirty girl” bucky got out before you felt his tongue fucking your pussy. you could barely contain your moans and at this point you didn’t care if the whole world could hear you. suddenly you felt your legs begin to shake and a small knot of tension in your belly.
“fuck!” you let out as your pussy spasmed around his tongue. you felt your body slump forward but despite already having reached your climax, bucky grabbed your hips and pulled you forward. he kept eating you out while you were still riding your orgasm. you twisted your neck to try to get a peek at this man in between your legs, eating you out as if you were his last meal. when you felt his lips close around your clit, a yelp left your lips and your back arched. this is what heaven felt like.
he took one last long lick and got up. you flipped over onto your back and saw him standing over you. fuck! you saw the tent growing in his gym shorts from his workout and you swore out loud. this man would be the biggest you had ever taken and you hadn’t even fully seen his sick.
you sat up on the edge of the lounge chair and the following words you spoke surprised you as much as they surprised bucky.
“i want you to fuck my mouth.”
“fuck!” bucky gritted out. his dick throbbed from imagining you on your knees, eyes watering from his dick hitting the back of your throat.
“i mean it bucky, i don’t want you to be gentle with me. i want you to use me just like i’m using you.”
your hands came up to the waistband of his shorts and before you pulled them off, you placed a hot open-mouthed kiss on his bulge. from your peripheral view, you saw his knuckles whiten as he fisted his hands. when you finally stopped teasing, you pulled down his shorts and his dick stood proud. you knew how desperate he was to have your mouth around him but you couldn’t help but stare at his dick. he was large and thick and he stood proud and talk with an angry, red head. you placed your hand around his shaft, pumping him twice before taking a tentative lick on the head. slowly, you opened your mouth and only took in the head, swirling your tongue around his tip and you heard him groan and curse. you then took him into your mouth, as much as you could. when he hit the back of your throat you felt your eyes water. fuck, it felt so good. bucky’s dick down your thoat, filling your mouth before he would eventually fill your pussy. you came up for air and when you noticed his hands were still fisted, you took both fists, kissed his knuckles and spread out his hands around your head. you winked at him, letting him know what you wanted.
you wrapped your lips around him once again and you felt him thrust very slowly into your mouth. bucky was afraid to hurt you and lose control, but you didn’t care. you wanted to give him pleasure just as he had pleasured you. you let out a moan around his dick. slowly he increased his pace and he began to fuck your mouth at a faster pace. bucky saw your eyes watering and your spit painting his dick messily and he almost came then and there. you looked so pretty fucked out, he thought, but he refused to come in your mouth. he wanted to feel your pussy around his dick before he even considered cumming.
“that’s enough doll” he stated as he pulled his dick away from your pretty little mouth, “your mouth is amazing but i’d rather cum in that pretty, little pussy instead.”
“how do you want me soldier?” you asked, pussy throbbing at the idea of this man ravishing you.
“i want you to ride me doll”
you moved so that bucky could lie down on the lounge chair and once he was on his back, you threw a leg over him and you rested your pussy on his dick. you didn’t want to let him in just yet. you dragged your pussy over the underside of his dick as it rested in him stomach. fuck it felt so good. the large head of his cock hitting your clit as you rode him.
“that’s enough doll.” bucky stated as he sent a quick slap to your ass. rolling your eyes at him as he had interrupted your fun but still grabbing his cock and leading him to your entrance. slowly you began to let yourself down on his dick. the stretch of his large dick had you moaning until you reached the base. once the sting of how stretched out you were had dissipated, you began to slowly bounce on his dick. your mouth opened with your cries of pleasure and your eyes rolled to the back of your head.
bucky couldn’t help but stare at your tits as they bounced while you rode him. despite them still being in your bikini top, which didn’t do much to cover you, he grabbed your breasts and kneaded them together. taking his metal arm, he ripped off the flimsy material from your chest and your tits were free. he couldn’t help but think you looked so pretty in that moment. mouth open, eyes completely white and tits bouncing in his face as you took his cock into your warm pussy.
“you like that don’t you? bouncing on my fat cock while i play with those tits huh?” fuck you clenched around him. his dirty talk was working wonders. “you like having this big cock fuck you don’t ya?” you let out a moan in agreement. suddenly bucky sat up to pull you to his chest and stop you from bouncing and he began to thrust into you.
“ahh- please don’t stop!”
“fuck! yes!” his hands spread your ass apart and his dick hammered into your pussy. you bit into his shoulder as he jackhammered you. you felt one of his hands come up to your face and two fingers come into your mouth. you instinctively sucked on those two fingers, being sure to lather them up well. when he removed his fingers from your mouth, you felt them come down to your ass. when you felt him nudge at your ass, you almost lost it then and there.
“please bucky! don’t tease me!”
“what exactly do you want doll?” he spoke into your ear. his hot breath causing goosebumps to arise all over your body.
“please finger my ass bucky!” and he did. one of his fingers, wet with your spit entered your hole and you let out the loudest moan at the new penetration. you couldn’t handle it anymore, the finger in your ass and the cock in your pussy. you let out a scream as your pussy clenched around his dick. he also let out a loud groan and you felt his dick twitch in your pussy. you felt him release and the feeling of being filled with bucky completely made you moan. bucky pulled out of you and you could still feel him, painting your insides white.
you collapsed on bucky, completely worn out by your activities. bucky’s hands came up to rest on the curve of your back as he pulled you close. for a while you two were silent, resting from possibly the best sex both of you had ever had.
“you know doll, there’s a lot more i can do to help you on your days off?”
“you know, in going to have to keep taking you up on the offer bucky”
you peered up and him and grinned. he grinned back. this was definitely something you could get used to.
Nightmares: A Bucky Barnes x Reader Story. Chapter 6
Steve loaded the last of your things into the truck you were taking. Stark wanted you to test out a new all electric option, he had decided he wanted to break into the all-electric vehicle game, he didn’t want to be shown up by Elon. Stark was all about going greener nowadays. You hadn’t seen much of Bucky since your date and your heart sank a little. Maybe the feelings weren’t as mutual as you thought. You tried to make it as unnoticeable as possible that you had been looking for him. You couldn’t really think of an excuse to linger any longer.
“Well, I guess this is goodbye,” Steve said, putting the last bag in.
“Don’t say it like that, I’m only three hours away. You won’t get rid of me that easily.” You replied trying to lighten the mood. You would see them all again. They were your family. Nat smiled and gave you a tight hug. You had already said your goodbyes to everyone else. Tony was trying to play it cool but you could tell it was getting to him. He had treated you like you were one of his own, but you knew with the new Parker kid coming on board he would be just fine. Steve came in and gave you a big, crushing hug next. “Steve I can’t breathe,” you gasped out and he laughed. He kissed the top of your head and let you go. He was the big brother you always wanted, but it wasn’t his arms and laugh you were wishing for at that moment.
“You let us know when you get there safely,” Steve said in a serious voice. You nodded and looked around the garage one last time. You opened the door to the truck and started to get in. He didn’t come to say goodbye. Your eyes met Steve’s and he gave you a sad smile. He knew who you had been looking for. Letting out a breath you climbed in and pulled away watching Steve and Nat get smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror.
After the drive, you finally pulled up to the address you were given and it wasn’t what you were expecting. It was as if someone had dropped a very large English countryside manor in the middle of upstate New York. You made your way up to the front and were met at the door by Jean, you would know her in an instant, her hair was unforgettable.
“Hello again Y/N” she greeted you with a smile. “The professor is waiting for you in his study.” She said and ushered you inside. The school was beautiful. Warm and inviting, with so much charm and character. You could tell there was a lot of love and happiness in these halls.
Jean led you to a large office just off the main stairs. The professor was sitting behind his desk looking over papers. He looked up and smiled at the two of you and you cocked your head a little, catching your first glimpse at the Professor's feelings. Relief. It surprised you since even when you had tried to use them on him you were met with nothing. Completely locked out.
“Y/N, it is so good to see you again. I hope the drive was pleasant,” he said and wheeled himself from behind the desk.
“Yes, it was peaceful, you have a beautiful home here,” you replied, trying to make polite conversation.
“Thank you, this has been in my family for generations. Shall I give you the tour?” he asked and ushered you back into the hall. You nodded and followed. “The first floor is offices and classrooms. You’ll find the kitchen at the far back, dormitories are the second and third upper levels as well as common areas. There is a pool, sports courts, and gymnasium around the grounds as well.” The professor went on as you followed him down the halls, he would point out the occasional tidbit here and there. You followed along and listened as he explained the classes offered. It really was a school for gifted kids and not just for their abilities but intelligence as well. You stopped suddenly when an overwhelming sense of grief hit you. You looked around and saw a young girl sitting in a window seat, staring out into the yard she couldn’t be more than ten or eleven. The professor noticed.
“Ah, that’s Rose. She has been with us for about six months now. She hasn’t spoken since coming here.” He explained and you looked from him back to her. What had happened that made her feel that kind of pain.
“What happened to her?” You asked quietly.
“Her powers manifested violently. It left her an orphan. She blames herself. I haven’t been able to reach her.” He said sadly. The poor girl. You approached her gently.
“Hello Rose, my name is Y/N, can I sit with you?” You asked her and she nodded. You sat across from her and looked out the window as well. You looked back to Rose and focused. Her grief and self-loathing were overwhelming, you wanted to cry and scream out from everything she was feeling. How could she stay so silent with all that inside of her? “It wasn’t your fault.” You whispered to her and she looked at you shocked. “I can help if you want.” You offered up to her with a small smile and gave her a small glimpse of what your power could do, letting it just sweep gently over the grief like a balm. You caught a glimpse of the memory that these feelings were attached to. The utter destruction. Not even knowing what she could do she was powerful. “You didn’t know, couldn’t have known, what was happening. I know you miss them and blame yourself, but it wasn’t you.” You told her, taking her hand in yours. You had said something similar to Bucky and your heart grew sadder. “Don’t let this consume you,” you pleaded with her. Her anger was bubbling to the surface. She believed she needed to be punished. That she deserved to live in her own hell forever and that trying to take that away from her would take away her identity. You wanted to show her a different way. “You know I have a friend who was a lot like you. He was forced to do terrible things, kill people. He didn’t have a choice but he still felt the guilt of everything that he was forced to do. It was eating him alive. He would have terrible nightmares, do you have nightmares?” You asked her and she only gave you a slight nod. “I could help with that. I could make them stop. Make all of it stop. You will always miss them, but it doesn’t have to hurt.” You told her hoping to get through. She began to cry and you scooted and held her close as she cried and cried. You held her and let her cry, you could feel her heart breaking over and over again as the cries echoed through the empty halls. When she had settled back down you pushed the hair from her face and wiped her tears away. “Would you like me to help?” you asked her again and she nodded. You smiled at her and just as quickly those feelings were gone. The grief, the blame, the pain. You took it all from her. She blinked at you and threw her arms around you in a hug. You smiled and hugged her back.
“Thank you,” she whispered in your ear.
“Of course, dear one.” You held her until she let go. “Why don’t you go rinse your face with some cool water. It will make you feel better and get a little rest. I’m going to go talk with the professor and get settled in. Find me later and we can go for a walk?” you asked and she nodded and bounded off.
“You don’t know what you have done for that girl.” The Professor said.
“Why have you never tried to use your abilities on her?” you asked wondering why he hasn’t helped her past her grief yet.
“I have tried reaching her through her mind, she was so lost in her grief I wanted to give her time, see if she could come out of it on her own.” He explained.
“She is a child, did you not think to try harder, to get her into therapy?” you asked annoyed that he let a child live in that grief for six whole months. The professor didn’t have an answer for that and continued on. You huffed but fell into step beside him. He led you to an elevator that began to take you below the main level. When the doors opened you were once again surprised by what you were seeing. An entire underground complex below the manor house. Here everything was bright and high tech and reminded you of the compound.
“These levels are restricted to the children. Only those who have been deemed X-Men are allowed on this level. We have training rooms, labs, weapons room, and a hanger for the jet.” He explained as you followed him down the hall until you came to a large round door with an X across it. The professor approached and a retinal scanner activated. The doors opened to reveal a massive round room. A large platform jutting into the center. “This is Cerebro, this is how I found you, how I find more like us.” He said and you followed him in. You were in awe of the cavernous room. Metal panels lined the entire thing and a small control panel sat at the end of the walk way that led to the center. “I know this is all new to you and a lot to take in. It has always been my wish to help those who feel lost and different. Not everyone can always be helped.” He said sadly and you knew there was more there to dive into but now wasn’t the time. “I hope that you can find the answers you are looking for here, and perhaps help us, as you helped Rose.” You followed him back out of the room and he led you to a lab where you were greeted with a very large blue, something. “This is Doctor Hank McCoy.” The professor introduced and he extended his hand which engulfed your own.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He responded and you smiled and nodded.
“You as well. What are you a doctor of?” you asked, looking around the lab. The doctor was full of curiosity and it made you feel a little like a lab rat.
“Biochemistry and genetics, I also teach science and mathematics.” He explained. So, he was a super genius. Were all mutants this highly intelligent? You nodded and wrapped your arms around yourself, a habit that made you feel a little more protected from the outside world. “If you wouldn’t mind, I would like to run some tests on you, when you are ready of course.” Hank continued.
“What kind of tests and why do you need to run them?” you asked, trying not to sound fearful.
“To get a grasp on the extent of your mutation to better help you and us to understand it and to learn how to harness it.” Hank said with a reassuring smile.
“Hank has been invaluable in unlocking the secrets to mutation and helping all of us understand ourselves better. It doesn’t have to be right away. Get settled in, take some time, and Hank will be here when you are ready.” The Professor offered.
“It has already been a long morning. If I could settle in a little, I would love to have a conversation with you Dr. McCoy, this is all just very new and a little overwhelming if I’m honest.” You offered up. It had been a long morning already. You had been on the road by eight in the morning and that was after loading the truck and saying goodbyes.
“Of course, I will show you to your room Y/N” The professor said and you followed him from the lab. He took you to the third floor from the main level. This was where most of the instructors and so-called X-Men had rooms. Someone had already brought all your things in and your life was just a stack of boxes and bags in an unfamiliar room and all of a sudden the change really set in and a melancholy set into your chest. The professor excused himself and you shut the door finally alone. You sat on the edge of the bed and put your head in your hands, the emotions overwhelming you. Right now, your friends and life seemed a world away and not just a few hours. You pulled your phone out and saw messages from Steve and Nat. Steve as always was encouraging and Nat sent pictures of Tony after he had an experiment literally blow up in his face and singed half an eyebrow off. You laughed sadly at the image. You missed them all so much already.
