Hey boss. I'm in a bit of a predicament. I'm living on my own for the first time, and I share my apartment with a roommate.
Now, that's not too bad. Lots of guys have roommates. But I doubt they're roommates with the hottest woman they've ever seen in their life.
Like, words cannot begin to describe her. She's got tits bigger than her head, an ass that seems to bend space, and legs that could turn a monk into a drooling mess.
Basically, she's super duper hot.
And again, most guys wouldn't see the issue in that. But they've never had to deal with every argument, disagreement, discussion, etc, ending in a wiggle of tit-flesh and me folding instantly.
I literally can't say no to her when she does that. I don't think anyone can.
What am I supposed to do, GO? I've been mad to do every chore, pay just about every bill, do every whim she can come up with.
I hear you, man. That's a tough situation. Most people, they'd tell you to stand up for yourself, to stop being such a pathetic loser gooner and resist her jiggling and sloshing pornmelons for five fucking seconds. They'd tell you that, if you have an open and honest conversation with her, one that doesn't end in you running back to your bedroom to try and get your fist pregnant, it'll all work out.
And I just want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that they're all wrong.
This kind of thing, standing up for yourself would only encourage her! Saying "H-hey, um, m-maybe don't flash your big, bouncy titties at m-me when I'm trying to t-talk to you!" is only going to make things worse! She'll start walking around the apartment topless, or as close to it as she has to, in order to make sure you never try to resist her again! She already knows she can break you—can't put that lotion back in the bottle—so she'll just keep going until she breaks you again.
If you really want to get control of this situation, there's only one thing you can do: fight fire with fire.
You go out there and you get yourself the biggest fucking tits you can. Implants or growth pills or bovine hormones, whatever it takes to give you gigantic titties to rival hers. I'm talking mega hyper stuffed up milkers. I'm talking jumbo jiggly juicy jugs. I'm talking sweater-stretching, gravity-welling, bra-busting tits!
The first benefit is that your new tits will act as a sort of immunization against hers. When you're too busy not getting distracted by your own cleavage, by the feeling of your own tits bouncing directly under your chin, how can you even think about being distracted by hers? If you can go even bigger than her, all the better, as it'll make hers seem smaller by comparison, thereby robbing them of their power. Once her advantage is weakened and, eventually, removed entirely, that's when you can stage your counteroffensive.
After all, everyone loves boobs.
When she starts to fall on her old tactics, that's when you yawn and stretch your back, pushing your massive titties forward so she can see them bulge over the cups and under the band and whenever else they can find room. If she shows you her cleavage, you show her yours. If she tries to jiggle them in your face, you jiggle yours right back! If she tries to press her big, soft boobies against you, you lean into her, keeping eye contact as your own udders squish against her. Her breathing catches. You blush. Your faces are so close to each other and, as your tits squish together, you can feel each other's racing heartbeat. Neither of you seems ready to make the first move and yet, inch by inch, the space between your lips disappears until—
Ahem. Anyway. Worst case scenario, you both keep trying to outdo and outsize each other. Best case scenario, you make out sloppy style while groping each other and rubbing your oiled up titties together. Wins all around.
