OHHH MY GOD THEY DIDN’T CENSOR THE ENGLISH VERSION THIS TIME???
My prayer’s have been fucking received. The erasure of nuance has at least temporarily been put on pause.
I seriously am utterly fascinated by their original trope (in fiction!!) because there’s so much nuance to their dynamic & feelings. MC obviously always loved Caleb before they were adopted together, but because they were labeled “brother and sister” at such a young age, she didn’t know that her strong feelings for Caleb were not just that of a possessive, protective, sibling — and of course Caleb felt trapped underneath the Gege title, but he wouldn’t ever hurt her or force her to do anything she didn’t want. He always prioritized her wellbeing. He would’ve yearned and died without being with her if that’s what made her happiest. Anyway it’s so so so cool. Yes there’s pseudoincest which is so taboo, but it’s fascinating to both take in/imagine, and to clinically explore, their love and their relationship — how they feel because of the situation they’re in, what they think, how they act… They were just two kids who were deeply attached to one another and got put in a messy situation (adopted together.) Two kids who chose one another instantaneously and just so happened to click personality wise as well as giving the other what was so desperately needed: love, belonging, safety…
and a disclaimer before some morally pure freaks come at me: just because it’s interesting and I like learning about it doesn’t mean I think it’s okay irl, or that I think every single pseudoincest situation is ethical and appropriate. And it’s definitely understandable if this trope makes you uncomfortable. That’s so okay. What’s not okay is confusing people who enjoy thinking about and learning about Caleb-Mc as insane or wrong or gross.
hi me again what's new anyway here's another crazed rambling
calebmc dynamic of mc being just as obsessive as caleb (let me explain)
so mc (you) has this wonderful ability where she can die but then come back without any memory of anything like a blank slate, and unfortunately Caleb did witness this multiple times when they were younger so he had to remind her of who she was
T H E R E F O R E I PROPOSE:
MC being just as obsessive and attached as Caleb DUE TO SOMETHING VERY MUCH AKIN TO IMPRINTING
BECAUSE
Caleb would likely try to get to her first before anyone else
Caleb would tell her everything about who he is, who she is, what everything in the world is
Caleb would likely not let her out of her sight so she can regain her memories / he could potentially rewrite bad ones to conceal any terrible truths (yknow, like her being killed, saying she just 'got sick')
Caleb being the first thing she sees and is exposed to and relearning everything from him = imprinting
Caleb's 1st myth shows this from how it may play it in Caleb's perspective. when he forgot who he was, we as MC concealed bad truths and still tried to remind him of who he was, and he believed everything up until he remembered everything. he must have gone through this process dozens of times, and we must have reacted the same way, because each time we (MC) die, we come back a "blank slate"
however the affinity for him does not fade, because we likely can still "remember how he made us feel", evident in both of Caleb's Myths where we can cling onto something despite death (in Lucid Dreams, Caleb remembered how we made him feel despite forgetting. in X-02, we held onto the name 'Caleb' and how it made us feel warm, despite forgetting the major details).
SO.
EACH TIME. THAT WE, YOU, MC DIES. AND HE REMINDS US WHO WE ARE!!!
THE MEMORY OF HOW HE MADE US FEEL DOES NOT FADE. AND THE ATTACHMENT ONLY GETS STRONGER EACH TIME!
SUBCONSCIOUSLY, HE STILL REMAINS IMPRINTED ON US, NO MATTER HOW LITTLE WE REMEMBER. AND THAT? WILL PILE UP.
we let things slide with caleb because of that attachment that kept piling subconsciously. we still trust him because he is the one thing that we saw each time we came back, and he held our hand and said "I know who you are, you can trust me, I am right here with you", and we remember that despite everything, Caleb is Caleb, he is warmth, he is familiarity, no matter what, BECAUSE HE HAS IMPRINTED ON US SINCE FOREVER AGO!
Dearest followers, I regret to inform you that I am utterly unwell. I apologize in advance because I am OBSESSED with this banner. I am OBSESSED with herbalist Caleb, and you will absolutely be seeing me simp over this for weeks.
HOWEVER. Before I fully derail into pure, unfiltered simping over how insanely well-written this story is (like why the FUQ Infold insists on putting Caleb through emotional devastation every single time yes I cried), I need to talk about something
I did some research. It’s not complete, but it’s a start for the lore and symbolism nerds. So no, this is not your average simp post. This is peak maps-being-maps behavior: definitely unhinged… a tad overthought and aggressively nerdy.
And also, I’m not going to be talking about the blood of Christ or other Christian references. If that’s what you’re looking for, respectfully, go elsewhere. I’m gonna be talking about daoism and traditional Chinese medicine because yes I HAVE BEEN TO THE MINES
With that being said: We need to talk about the references ples
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Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) and why this writing is eating so hard
Very quick TCM crash course before we proceed: qi is vitality, jing is essence. Qi carries blood, blood provides nourishment, and shen is spirit/consciousness. They’re all interconnected and regulated through the meridians, so disruption in one throws the entire system out of balance.
Chinese medicine and daoist thought treat the body as something you can cultivate. A vessel for qi. A literal container 器/器皿. Sometimes even a vessel for immortality. And here’s the thing you need to understand:
“There was no categorical distinction between poisons and nonpoisons in traditional Chinese medicine – they acted in a continuum defined by level of potency.”*
In other words: medicine and poison are not opposites in tradtional Chinese medicine. It’s about balance. Dosage, containment and potency.
“There is no essential, absolute or unchanging core that characterizes a medicine. Instead, the effect of any given drug is always relational – it is contingent on how the drug is used, how it interacts with a particular body and its intended effects.”*
So when Caleb says this; that his heart is open and the question is how much you can tolerate? Yeah. That’s a medicine/poison reference (too).
And on that note—Caleb going to Du to find the Soulblossom?
Listen. Du can be read as 毒 (dú), meaning “poison.” And whether or not that’s the canonical CN ver. character (my ass can’t read Chinese for shit but!) the symbolism is LOUD:
going into poison to retrieve medicine is literally the core logic of Chinese medicine.
“The Chinese word for poison is “du” (毒). Unlike its negative meaning today, ancient texts written 2,000 years ago used the word to denote potency, or the ability to both harm and heal.”*
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The blood scene aka Caleb being “herbalist correct” and sexy about it
When the MC—aka the medicine vessel—offers her blood to Caleb and he refuses? That’s him being an absolute slut for Chinese medicine (in my humble opinion)
Because in Chinese medicine, blood is meant to be contained. As mentioned, blood (血) is closely tied to jing (essence, 精) and qi (vitality, 气).*
You lose blood you lose essence. You lose jing. You lose qi. You don’t just spill that casually. So what does he do instead?
HE GOES FOR THE EAR.
Which had me absolutely wtfing. Now. Are you shockethhh to learn that the ear is a microsystem in Chinese medicine? Because it is, pip-squeak.
Those meridians he was yapping about during your little pillow fight? Yeah. They connect to the ear. The ear represents the entire body.
So him nuzzling (shut up I know we all delulu it was kissing) the earlobe and suddenly being fine? Congrats. He just accessed your whole medicine vessel body through one tiny point.
I am in awe of the writing.
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The snake aka Xiaoqing
The GOD DAMN SNAKE. That has to be a healing/poison reference. I don’t care. I will die on this hill. One snake. One snake named Xiaoqing—the green snake in The Legend of the White Snake. The white snake’s (Bai Suzhen) little sister and her martial protector/guardian spirit.
Caleb’s fit is white. We wear green. Mic drop. Who is who? Well, maybe they are both a bit of both. My brain started glitching at this point.
And before anyone cries Bible snake: snakes are good in Chinese mythology and medicine. Protective. Transformative. Venom can be medicine or poison, it depends on the dosage. Just like Caleb asks is how much of him we can tolerate. Once again: medicine and poison are NOT opposites. Look, Caleb even thinks it’s a cute lil pet.
This is layered. And it has to be intentional. In any case: Absolutely delicious.
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Shaoxi Hollow, breath, and the damn bone flute
Like already mentioned: I’m 99% sure he’s feeding us medicine with a Chinese bellflower. It was thought to have lung-clearing, breath-restoring properties aka a medicine. Now listen:
Shaoxi Hollow is where these two freaks reside. Shaoxi can be read as 少息 = something like reduced/restrained breathing/vitality or quiet life force.
(I can actually read those character with my limited kanji knowledge, and I’d read it as shōsoku = a small break or catch your breath. Yes. My Japanese studies were not in vain, thank you very much)
AND THEN. Caleb plays a bone flute. Breath = vitality, see top picture. Aka qi.
Are you kidding me
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The hairpin (final blow to maps’ sanity)
And the hairpin. We did not have to—but we DID. AND HE GIVES ONE BACK. AND PUTS IT IN OUR HAIR. That’s basically Caleb saying: “I see you as an adult now, I like you, and yes, I want something serious.”
“Men giving hairpins, especially those worn by themselves for women, symbolize their desire to establish an intimate relationship with them. This behavior is more subtle and elegant than verbal confession, in line with the traditional Chinese way of expressing emotions that "start with emotions and end with courtesy".”*
I NEED to know what it looked like—because it was described as beautiful. Not that it matteres. But… I’m just saying if it was silver or jade…
(Jinshi my boi I see you, don’t worry—but we’re talking about this other fictional man right now.)
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To sum it up
If you made it this far: thank you so much for reading and enduring the rambles of a madwoman.
I hope we can all agree that this card and this story is maddeningly good. The references are layered, the symbolism is coherent (me thinks at least), and the historical and medical accuracy??? nomnomnommunchmunchmunch
Thinking about Caleb and how he is a man built from trauma and existential fear who somehow became the embodiment of care itself - the very feeling of home. He’s a walking contradiction, and that’s exactly why he hurts so good.
There’s a storm inside him. Not just from what he’s lived through, but from what he feels: love, loyalty, fear, guilt, longing. All at once, leaking into every word, every dropped voice, every unguarded moment.
He flirts like a firework - bright and reckless. He teases like he doesn’t know how to stop, like pausing too long might let the silence swallow him whole. He’ll make you laugh, then suddenly say something so intimate and achingly honest it catches in your chest like an unexpected sob. That’s the pattern: the mask and the man behind it, both real, both afraid.
Caleb is the kind of person who takes bullets and calls them scratches, who kisses you like the world is ending while pretending he doesn’t need comfort after. He considers you his whole world and gives you everything - will always find his way back to you, would burn everything else but put your safety first. He knows every part of you: the good things, the fears, the insecurities, the breakdowns. He’s seen you at your worst countless times and loves you more for it, never less.
He carries his own trauma without condemning anyone else’s - he knows that weight. He shows love with his whole being: the utter adoration in his voice and eyes, the way he cooks for you, holds you when you’re trembling. Because if anything is clear about Caleb, it’s that he wants to take care of you.
He will guide you through every storm - both literally and figuratively - while simultaneously fighting against his own.
But he isn’t perfect. He wants to be needed, wants to protect, but doesn’t know how to be soft without falling apart. When he breaks - and he does - it’s intense. Sometimes he panics, gets possessive - because there’s barely anything left of his memories to hold him steady. He feels helpless and needs to do something to avoid losing himself completely. But when he sees your reaction, he stops. He listens. Your voice soothes him. He wants to grow, to get better - for you and with you.
He feels older than his years because his priority was never fun for its own sake, but enjoying life with you. The ruthless colonel who doesn’t flinch at death, who interrogates without hesitation, who takes dangerous missions with only one thought: “Please let me return to her one last time.” Yet inside him lives a younger Caleb who draws out syllables even today - “All righty” and “Buut” and “Becauuse” - because he loves the indignation on your face and how it reminds him there’s still humanity left in him.
When he finally allows himself to be vulnerable, the composure crumbles. He stumbles, gets lost, sometimes cries. His voice cracks, his body trembles. That’s when he becomes the Caleb with deeply rooted trauma instead of the one who learned to build a life despite what will never fully heal. He wants to be known, understood, held even while breaking. But he’s terrified of what happens when someone really sees him - not the charm or bravado, but the boy who once drowned in grief and clawed his way back into someone worth loving.
With you, though, his mind goes quiet. Caleb doesn’t just love you - he needs you like the last breath he’ll ever be allowed to take. He takes care of you but also craves you with everything he is.
And somehow, he’s still your sun. Your anchor. Your impossible, untameable, golden mess of a man who makes the world brighter even when he’s breaking.
Because the miracle isn’t that Caleb loves. It’s that he wants - needs - to love anyway, even after everything. He has never stopped loving you and never will. His love for you is branded on his soul.
Peeling the layers of psuedo-incest troupe of Calebmc
This has been weighing on my mind for the longest time since Caleb's release and both EN & CN/KR/JP troupes.
Rather than to say one is sanitised than the other, I'm gonna offer an olive branch that bridges the gap for both. Now, as we all know, language is hard. Transcribing one language with all its cultural nuances is hard. Everyone says "gege-meimei" is just a degree of honourifics and all of that to sanitise their relationship. Fair enough, that's your peace and I will respect it. But as I've read from the folks who l follow CN/JP/KR troupe, it is as it is implied.
However.
I feel that it's much more deeper than that. Far more than what is seen in the surface. Remember Adam & Eve? Eve was created from the rib of Adam. Or ever the Chinese myth of Fuxi and Nuwa where Calebmc dynamic was really inspired from? Twins who intertwined and created the world. The interconnective dynamic of Calebmc actually falls closer to the Aristotle theory of soul mates. Aristotle believed that humanity was once creatures who walked on 4 legs until the gods decided to slice us into halves, creating us, the bipede creatures that we are. And upon losing our other halves, we continue to sought after our lost halves, yearning and desiring to unify and become whole once more.
Now what does this mean for Calebmc? Far more than that surface level of incest troupes, far more than the childhood friend troupes, Calebmc are creatures of one heart, one star, one soul that had been born into 2 beings. The toxic, possessive, taboo dynamics between them; the degree of intimacy that makes them far more co-dependant of each other to the point they really cannot separate themselves from the other. It's supposed to be uncomfortable. It's supposed to be everything that is simultaneously intimate and forbidden. Far more than surface-level pseudo-incest understanding, these two are souls that were one that was cut off and forced to become 2. The pseudo-sibling aspect is supposed to signify how much they want to tie each other together that they want to be each other's everything. Beyond taboo, their love is supposed to be this cosmic level of romance.
Let me cross-reference their dynamic to Catherine and Heathcliff of Wuthering Heights. 2 children who grew up together, attached themselves to each other. Their interconnectiveness is laced with equal parts toxic, possessive and taboo. Catherine saw Heathcliff as her twin flame, her other half; her mirror. And it is that same possessive, toxic dynamic was why the misery spread to the next generation (an aspect that many adaptations failed to address).
Here comes the tricky part where I'm coming back to my point about language.
As everyone knows, there is no equivalent definition to the CN troupe in English language. Not without hoops, leaps and bounds of texts that no translator or reader wants to subject to themselves. Childhood friends was their closest route, but equally sanitizing. It would have been the better route to have dubbed them as step-siblings despite the implication of their hazy past before they were adopted by their grandmother. But alas, even that is a difficult thing to put forward without people screwing their heads around 360° at the idea of it.
At the end of the day, always remember that all of this is fiction. I relent, this is fiction. Not some guideline or some sort of Orwellian piece that people would use as a handbook. Morals are yours to keep, but no one deserves to be broken for the sake of fictional characters. Any further insistence on either side and pressing the issue is not your right to define. Death of the author exists as a means of separating authorial intent over a piece of text. Which means fiction like Love and deepspace are technically free of you to interpret the text as you wish. But do so with candid grace and respect to those who see things differently.
Thank you for reading. Feel free to disagree because that is your right. But remember to be civil.
Caleb: Necklace Thoughts & A brief Psychological Look Into the Reasons for Caleb’s Intense Devotion to MC & Their Bond. (Unedited)
Caleb’s dog-tag necklace says, “When U Come Back” - with no name attached, no phone number. It wasn’t just foreshadowing for the storyline & Caleb’s revival; There’s an unspoken, almost possessive promise, a knowing MC has, that Caleb will always find his way back to her, returning like a dog to its owner. No return address needed. Can you imagine having that unbreakable bond…? // And they both filled up each others emotional cups for so, so long: Caleb has lived his life with such extreme mental health issues, and holds onto the warmth of his memories with MC because it’s all he has left living for. She is the light in his dark world. She is the only place he belongs, the only place he feels happy within. (If you haven’t read his anecdote, go read it! The writing was superb, and you really get a better understanding of his character.) And I genuinely can’t imagine how hard it was & is for Caleb. It’s so understandable that he’d hold onto his anchor so tightly. Also because of what he witnessed (her dying over & over again at the hands of Ever), MC’s pain is his pain. He can’t stand the thought of her being hurt in any way— it feels like a direct attack against this person he loves, like extreme threat to his own nervous system because of the paranoia and fear that she can die easily— so he’s fiercely, thoroughly, obsessively protective over her. He had to be the one to save her because nobody else would; As kids, he saw all her needs, and gave her everything he could give— even amidst his own pain, she was his priority. And MC needed him as a kid, she needed a protector & a rock— somebody who would save her from it all, because she was just a kid. Caleb loved her so much, and she felt it. She got to have a safe place in him. They played together, and held onto each other through the darkness that they both faced. They know they can trust each other to be there when they’re falling. But it gets complicated as they grow older, because they need each other in different ways, and their dynamic is changing. Caleb needs reassurance that he is keeping her fully safe (if he doesn’t, who will? She could die!), but MC wants to protect herself now, and she wants the freedom to live for herself. Caleb also hides a lot of his pain & his thought processes, which used to work in the past. In order for him to protect her and keep her happy, he hid things from her, like his own sadness. But that’s an issue now that they’re on more level ground, because they’re both adults, and like anyone else, MC wants communication and a say in things. Yet— despite it all— they’re still bonded in a way like no other, which is why MC is deeply confused and hurt by the break in trust when Caleb makes & enforces certain decisions for her. …I am so freaking excited to see what happens next in the main story… will MC be as mutually obsessive and protective over Caleb, now that she knows he’s also the one in danger?
Other thoughts: Dude I wanna play around with the idea of MC being the one that got blown up instead of Caleb— and her needing & having a bionic arm. …How would she have reacted? Would she have been ashamed in the way Caleb was? Or does she trust Caleb’s devotion, knowing he’ll always come back to her, always choose her, no matter what?
everyday I realize more and more that my attachment style & core worries are very verrrry much alike Caleb’s (anxious & avoidant + “Will you still love me if you knew everything about me?”) … and the “I’ll save you and protect you with everything I have,” & babying your beloved … yeah … me … and the “You’re the reason I’m still breathing, you’re the reason I’m still going. Everything I do is for you, and for us. I love you so much. Amidst the darkness and the pain, you’re my light, my anchor, and it would tear me to pieces and kill me if I had to let you go.” And the supportiveness (I want you to reach your dreams, I want you to be happy), obsessiveness (tell me every little detail about you. Let me understand you in full), wanting to help/guide/be capable of teaching my partner something they need help in… We give the love we want to receive, indeed. We are wired for, and geared towards, it. … … ……..
Caleb, The Effects of Trauma, and MC Getting Her Memories Back Theory (brief):
Knowing a bit about trauma (as a person with trauma, who has been in therapy, and currently studies psychology), I’m absolutely vibrating with excitement re: MC getting her childhood memories of Ever back.
Caleb and MC’s current dynamic is incredibly interesting because they are on different pages. They’re no longer in the sweet limbo of Summer, nor are they in that era of stability they had in young adulthood. Things have shifted, they are shifting still, and now more than ever it is clear that Caleb is stuck in the past. He’s consumed by his fears and his pain. MC, on the other hand, is much less so stuck in the past, as she doesn’t have her childhood memories— leading to Caleb and MC clashing over Caleb’s protectiveness in the Main Story. (Right now, I think their dynamic will change, but in the distant future.)
Caleb just can’t see past the hurt child that MC was, the one in need of his constant, vigilant protection. Caleb believes, with his whole body and mind, that if he isn’t doing everything to neutralize every threat— that the one he loves will die. If you developed the eye for it, it’s so obvious, the depth of his trauma— it colours everything he is, everything he does, everything he feels, everything he thinks. “Everyone who wants to hurt you should just— disappear.” - Homecoming Wings // “If I don’t protect you— who will? Never mind… you wouldn’t understand.” - Ch. 04
Caleb’s traumatized because he remembers.
Once MC remembers what happened to her, her world is going to break apart and shatter. It’s going to be horrible, painful, we’re going to see the effects of trauma & how it changes a person— she will be a changed person— and I think that she’s going to need Caleb more than ever before. The question is— will Caleb be there when that happens? Or will Ever have completely taken over? I cannot WAIT to see how this plays out.
(Don’t even get me started on the complexity of his mental health issues, his pain, and the voracious need he has for her, the warmth their share when they’re together… Anyone who feels so alone and hurt without their anchor can likely understand Caleb’s feelings & behaviors, but that’s for another time.)
I’d love to hear your thoughts! Disagreement, agreement, dialogue, and discussion, are very welcome! Reblogs and comments appreciated :)
