A prompt by @xeimeabrokenhear13: A semi young (like when we first meet him in the clone wars) Tarkin meets Barriss at a ball. (Hear me out) and he mentions that one of her eyes isn't real. (I have a headcannon that she lost her left eye)
A Pleasant Silence (700 Words)
Captain Wilhuff Tarkin abhorred galas. Sheev knew this. Wilhuff had said as much. And yet, the Chancellor still handed over the dreaded invitation.
“It will do you some good, Wilhuff,” Sheev assured him with a fatherly smile that was difficult to say no to.
“I am not ready,” Wilhuff admitted, turning the gold-leafed card over in his hand.
“You will never be ready if left to your own devices, my boy. Chin up and I will see you there.” It wasn’t a request.
It had been months since the Citadel incident. Wilhuff had long-since healed from his wounds, but there were deeper scars that the young captain found difficult to overcome. And each moment he thought perhaps he had conquered these nightmarish memories, curious parties inflicted him with their incessant questions.
“Were you really held captive by the Separatists?”
“Were you tortured?”
“What was it like?”
“Were you afraid?”
He would rather be thrown into an arena with rabid reeks than deal with the morbid curiosities of the comfortable elite. None of them understood war. It was romantic to them, something heroes win and villains lose.
It is all so much more complicated than that.
Wilhuff managed to find a large pillar at the far end of the ballroom. It had a view of the dance floor and little else. With any luck he could enjoy his martinis in peace and slip out before he was bombarded.
“Captain Tarkin?”
For a brief moment, Wilhuff considered not turning around. Perhaps if he just sipped his martini, the curious observer would wander off again. That plan was dismissed when he found Sheev glaring pointedly at him across the floor.
Wearing a polite smile he turned to find a young Mirialan, diamond freckles across the bridge of her nose and cheeks, sharply featured, and dressed in the long dark robes that he could only assume hid a lightsaber or two.
“I am he,” he said, mildly.
The Jedi’s smile was friendly, and it seemed surprisingly genuine. With the exception of Anakin, Jedi always carried a smug, knowing smile that Wilhuff tended to resent.
The Jedi stood beside him and sipped what looked to be a simple blue milk in a cocktail glass. “A clever spot. You are invisible to those who enter the gala, and those on the dance floor would not think to look over here. Not with the food and social gatherings positioned on the other side of the gala. Here you can see all and be acknowledged by none.”
Irritated at the too-accurate observation he snipped. “I did not catch your name, Jedi.”
She extended a gloved hand. “Barriss Offee, Padawan to Luminara Unduli.”
Her handshake was strong and confident, but not forceful as tends to be with younglings looking to prove themselves to their elders. As they locked gazes, Wilhuff’s attention immediately drew to her left eye. While the color was identical to that of the right, but the way the light hit it was a telltale sign it wasn’t organic.
Barris withdrew her hand rather quickly and looked away. “You are here for the same reason I am, then.”
It wasn’t a question. It didn’t take Force abilities to understand that eye was relatively new, and had a story of its own.
“People are too inquisitive for their own good,” he said, carefully.
“It isn’t their fault,” Barriss said. “Those who have not been in the thick of it, cannot understand what such probing questions can do to a person. Not all wounds can be observed physically.”
Wilhuff almost asked if his own wounds could be seen in the Force, but before he could find the phrasing for it, she offered: “Yes.”
Spending as much time with Anakin Skywalker as he had, Wilhuff never minded the semi-telepathic abilities some Jedi possessed. He perhaps would have chosen to be irritated had it been Kenobi or Windu, but this one seemed to “get it” as Skywalker would say.
“Let’s make a deal then,” Wilhuff offered, raising his martini to Barriss. “You shall not ask me about my time on the Citadel, and I shall not ask you how you obtained that glass eye.”
The Padawan hummed as if considering it, but the playfulness in her smile told Wilhuff she had already made up her mind.
“Cheers, then,” she agreed and clinked his glass with hers.
They watched the gala proceed.
Neither of them spoke.
In fact, it was one of the most comfortable silences Wilhuff had experienced in a long while. Barriss did not seem interested in conversation, and Wilhuff let his mind wander without needing to perform mental gymnastics to keep a conversation afloat.
An hour passed, and when Jedi Master Unduli and Chancellor Palpatine seemed content their proteges had socialized long enough, Wilhuff and Barriss agreed to part ways.
“It was a pleasure not speaking to you, Padawan Offee” Wilhuff said, offering a small smile.
“Likewise, Captain Tarkin.” Barriss replied. She touched her chin in thought. “You know, the Life Day gala is next month.”
Wilhuff gave her a formal bow. “We shall enjoy it from afar together, then?”
“Agreed,” Barris returned his bow. “I believe I may actually look forward to it.”
“As may I.”
And as Wilhuff spoke those three words, he realized that it was genuinely true.
Sheev will be pleased.
---
Thanks so much for sending me that prompt! I’ve never written Barriss before and I love your headcannon regarding her glass eye! I took a liberty with it so I hope you don’t mind.
Want to submit your own Tarkin-themed prompt? Send an ask (No NSFW Please!)
So I was rewatching The Citdel arc and I wondered something when they were holding the funeral service for Master Piell impromptu.
Me: but how did they get something to wrap his body? Do they just carry an “in case of death” pack?
My brain: well obviously Anakin whipped out some of his slave techniques. He disemboweled one of those dog things they killed, skinned it, and fashioned a frame out of the bones and tendons. Then obviously he stretched the skin on the frame, scraped it, and then cured/tanned it using the heat nearby.
Me:........what?
My brain: Obiwan probably stood there with his hand over his mouth, Tarkin took notes, Rex stopped Cody from taking an extra pair of Obiwan’s robes out of the backpack they had. He knows how important it is for Anakin to brush up on his old skills and feel useful.
Me:....makes sense, but why does Cody have an extra set of Obiwan’s robes?
My brain: because Obiwan likes to look fresh!!! Get with the program bitch!!!
The Cloaked Storm: Chapter 24 - Something In The Darkness, Part 2
Still he didn’t turn, instead of leaning against what was left of the punching bag, breathing heavily, sweat glistening on his skin. “You’ve been there a while, Commander. Like what you see?” His tone seemed amused, but he was anything but, Valanthe could tell even without reading the projections from his Force signature.
Vala finished her last strap calmly, “if this were another day, I might have said yes.” She said finally then mentally gasped at herself, Valanthe! Behave! “Right now though, no.”
Senate Building, Landing Padd 45 C, special access only
The LAAT/i’s were coming in hot. She could see the urge in the clone pilots to land as soon as possible. That ball of untamed emotion was fast approaching and Valanthe found it hard to breathe under the onslaught, in her already emotionally weakened state.
What had gone so wrong? Who got killed?
As she stood in the back, behind the requested dignitaries and the Jedi, Valanthe tried to get a mental headcount but the Force was very clouded.
She watched the LAAT/i’s land and people started slowly clambering out, the Jedi and the navy officers first. Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, Anakin, Plo-Koon, a non-clone Captain, one whom she didn’t know, then more navy clones in various states of injured, then came Commander Cody, another clone whose name she didn’t know.
Vala’s heart sank. Where were they?
Rex came into view first then, sticking close to the clone with the Rishi eel on his helmet.
Fives. Riis let out a breath of relief briefly only to catch it the next second. Where’s Echo?
Then she realized another was missing. The man they had gone to rescue.
Master Piell...I hope you died well, little Master.
Now she understood the grief, the guilt, the confusion and anger. Then the Chancellor and his entourage stepped forward, speaking briefly with Ahsoka and the non-clone Captain. Tarkin was his name if she heard correctly.
The dignitaries soon departed with Ahsoka and Master Plo going with the Chancellor and Captain Tarkin.
Yoda, Mace, Obi-Wan and Anakin remained, along with the clones. Riis approached as the dignitaries left, trying to keep a calm facade.
Obi-Wan was tired, the mission had been a tough one, physically, mentally and emotionally. Losing so many good troopers, and Master Piell… the others had said that the mission was a success, he’d even said the same to Ashoka. But it was hard to feel that way, they were supposed to rescue the Lannik.
Running his hand through his literally dirty blonde hair, the Master noticed Valanthe walking over. There was something off about the woman, something in her demeanor was off, stressed… pained.
Valanthe knew the guilt now too. “How many?” She asked quietly as she approached her friend. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Rex talking with Fives, hand on the other’s shoulder. Comfort?
“Seven, including Master Piell and Sergeant Echo…” Obi-Wan said solemnly, his gaze shifting over to Fives and Rex before returning to Valanthe.
The grief. Valanthe swallowed hard, glancing over at Rex and Fives again before turning her attention back to Obi-Wan. “The coordinates?”
Did Ahsoka have them? Or was it that Tarkin fellow?
“Secure, apparently Master Piell and Captain Tarkin came up with a contingency plan in case they were captured. Ahsoka now has one half, Tarkin, the other.” Obi-wan wasn’t entirely sure how much more he should be sharing, there was already some contention if the coordinates should go to the Council or to the Chancellor. Bringing Valanthe into mix… who knew how that could make things turn.
Valanthe nodded, “it’s not a bad plan, actually.” Valanthe shrugged, “how are you doing, old friend?”
Anakin then passed by them with a nod to Valanthe, Cody and Rex in tow, leading the injured navy clones towards an exit. Fives, however remained for a moment and glanced at her.
She wasn’t sure what prompted her to just give him a silent nod, but she did and the man returned the gesture. Valanthe would find him later. With that silent communication over, Valanthe returned her attention to Obi-Wan.
Raising his eyebrow at the small interaction, Obi-wan decided not to ask. He was curious of course, but it wasn’t his place to pry. “It’s been useful thus far, although now that it’s back in safe hands, the plan might have led to a complication or two.” Sighing with a shake of his head, refocusing on her real question. “All in all I’d say I’m well, tired, and in desperate need of a shower… how about you?”
“Happy I didn’t lose too many friends today.” She replied with a slight falter in her tone. “I...:” Vala halted when she saw the expression in his face, “I can’t discuss it. I’m just glad you’re back, all of you.”
The expression in her eyes couldn’t help but voice, ‘what happened to Echo?’
Obi-wan frowned seeing the pain in her eyes, he’d seen the connection Valanthe had made with Fives and with Echo. His loss on top of Master Piell must have been very hard for her. “I’m sorry we couldn’t recover his body.”
Valanthe nodded, “I know you would have done your best,” she said her composure returning, “I should go to HQ and do the debrief. I’ll need reports from you, Anakin and the others soon too. I know you all need a break, but you know GAR will want it.”
“Of course, we’ll be ready whenever you are.” Obi-wan said with a nod, the secondary meaning if Valanthe’s own life had gotten too deep for her to deal with. Unfortunately from the way it sounded, there wouldn’t be much he could do except offer to help.
Valanthe nodded, “Force be with you, my friend.”
She wanted to embrace him, take relief in the comfort of a friend being alive, but they were out in the open, too exposed. Valanthe would not embarrass Obi-Wan like that.
“Force be with you too, old friend.” Obi-wan said with a small smile, one only Valanthe seemed to be able to pull from him when things were darkest. “Hopefully the next time we meet, we’ll have a chance to really catch up.”
“I’d love that.” Valanthe nodded and stepped away. She had to, she had been selfish too much of late. Much as she would have loved to share Obi-Wan’s company more. Others needed her now, she would not indulge her own desires for comfort at this point.
Fives needed her now, probably more than any of the others. True, Valanthe thought Rex would be a more present fixture in the younger clone’s life. But she assigned them to the mission at Anakin’s behest. It was partially her fault that Echo had perished.
Would Fives accept her help though? That was the question of the day. She had to try , she had to do right by someone today.
GAR Headquarters, ARCA Barracks, Arc Trooper Barracks, sometime later
It was a bit difficult at first to discern a specific presence among numerous so very similar presences as she entered the Barracks. So, she focused harder, calling to her mind all the sensations Fives had made her feel, how he affected her, how she affected him. They’d been through alot together since the rescue on Balmorra. Nodding subconsciously, she went deeper into the complex. After a few moments, her mind stopped in the Arc Trooper gym, her body continuing the trek towards it.
He’d been a very blank signature in the Force when they disembarked the LAAT/i at the Senate building.. Now though it was anything but the blankness that she sensed from inside. Grief, self loathing, guilt, sorrow, fury, loss, crippling loss. Those were but a number of emotions floating around, jutting against each other, scratching, grazing, punching within the Force. Quite a powerful, overwhelming feeling.
Valanthe had hoped that he had spoken with General Thirsan and gotten debriefed before he sequestered himself in the gym, tearing the life out of the training devices. The few fellow ARCs in there seemed both confused and respectful at their new colleague. They knew what loss meant and respected the need to vent.
Riis stood outside the door for a while, wondering just how to best approach the problem ahead of her. She had silently promised him back at the Senate building that she would come see him. What could she do for him though? The clones mostly kept to themselves with their problems, rarely confiding them in the Jedi and the non-clone personnel. Would he accept her help? Then again, was she in the right state of mind to offer proper help? She’d had her own losses and her own darkness to deal with. Could she really help him?
It is through helping others, especially those with less experience that we help ourselves as well. Heal oneself through healing others. Wise words of her old Master Tera Sinube echoed in her mind, always guiding her focus away from herself, but reminding her that through understanding another, one comes to understand themself as well.
Kriff it! Vala decided and stepped into the gym.
The smell of sweat was strong as she entered, almost a overwhelming, but she soon tuned it out as the doors closed behind her. The gym grew quiet around her, most of the clones stopping what they were doing and turning to see who came in.
She didn’t have to be a Jedi to read the expressions on their faces. From wondering at a female form, a lot of clones never having seen one, to wondering why one was in their gym. From wondering why one of their Commanders was in there to wondering who was getting punished. Then they would start following the direction of her head, after she nodded her acknowledgement of them.
Her target was ARC Trooper 5555, known as Fives. “Give us the room, boys,” she said, looking over her shoulder. Her brows knotted into a frown as she felt a wave of pity and compassion directed towards Fives as the other clones cleared the gym. They thought she was here to punish him?
The clone in question was at the other side of the gym, massacring the punching bag. He’d not turned nor acknowledged that she was there. She didn’t take that to heart, considering he was lost in his own pain, his own grief over what had happened.
What, by the Force would she do now? Now that she was actually here and the man was lost in his own world. What would Renia do? What would Obi-Wan do? Vala wondered. Nothing came to mind as neither would likely go to these lengths. Renia would likely send one of her ARCs to deal with it, Obi-Wan would doubtless send Cody.
What would Valanthe do? She wondered finally.
Her eyes fell on the hand wraps off at one of the benches. Eyes darting towards Fives’ back then back to the wraps, back to Fives, back to the wraps, she made a decision. She shirked her duster and her pistol and strap, her lightsaber and even her boots. She remained in her signature cargo pants and a form fitting t-shirt. Leaning down she picked up the wraps and began wrapping her hands to protect them.
Not that she really needed them but it was something one did when in the gym, she reasoned. She didn’t need to be the more agile, Force augmented creature now. Now, she needed to be the sponge, the sounding board. As her fingers fiddled with the straps, she found her eyes roaming over Fives’s back.
It was only now that she realized that he wore nothing on his torso. The usual body glove most clones wore off duty was now only the figure hugging leggings, or pants...she wasn’t quite sure how to classify the grey material he wore from the waist down.
Her lilac eyes studied the corded muscles of his shoulders and back as they flexed and bulged with each hit. Valanthe realized that clones weren’t necessarily tall nor big men, but they were wiry and strong, insanely well sculpted. Broad shoulders, sculpted back, tapered but firm waist, a firm round rear end, firm, thick, sculpted thighs and…
And he’s finally noticed me…. Valanthe realized as she did her best to appear casual in pulling on the other hand wrap and cover her slight embarrassment over the fact that she had just shamelessly ogled the man she was trying to figure out how to help.
Still he didn’t turn, instead of leaning against what was left of the punching bag, breathing heavily, sweat glistening on his skin. “You’ve been there a while, Commander. Like what you see?” His tone seemed amused, but he was anything but, Valanthe could tell even without reading the projections from his Force signature.
Vala finished her last strap calmly, “if this were another day, I might have said yes.” She said finally then mentally gasped at herself, Valanthe! Behave! “Right now though, no.”
Right now I feel only sympathy. Valanthe hated herself for the lie she tried to convince herself off. It wasn’t right to use the moment of such vulnerability for personal indulgence. Not here, not now.
Finally he turned to her, “I didn’t think you’d be the type to come to punish one of your people like so after an incident of the scale we had on Lola Sayu.” He said bitterly, noting her bound hands. Then his expression changed momentarily, as if he was fighting something deep within himself.
Are you and your brothers so used to punishment for failure that you expect it from everyone? Oh Force. Vala realized.
“Spirits, Fives!” She exclaimed, letting her arms drop to the sides, shrugging, “I’m not here to punish you, my friend.”
His eyes took her in, inch by inch, his eyes still lingering on her wrapped hands, “you’re dressed for a fight though.” Amber eyes burned with a myriad of emotions.
She raised her hands, “thought you might have wanted to blow off some steam, is all. That bag...its...well, you killed it.” Vala motioned to the raggedy remains.
He looked back behind him, blinked, realizing she was right. A ragged chuckle escaped him as he rubbed the back of his neck somewhat awkwardly and turned back to her taking her in again with his eyes.
It had felt uncomfortable when Burner would watch her like that, especially after the kiss. Was she dismissing this on the account of his state? Or was she comfortable under those particular amber eyes?
He cleared his throat, and looked to the floor, then to the mats near them. Hoping to deflect from the slight embarrassment he felt at his own boldness. He’d never seen his Commander in this state of dress, or rather undress. The problem was, he didn’t mind at all. Sure he’d seen her in work out clothes back on Kamino, when he and Echo were starting out.
Just thinking of his fallen brother brought him back to reality. He looked at her again, pain colouring his features,
“I can’t fight you, Commander.” He said as he saw her get into a stance, “I don’t want to hurt you.”
Vala who was dancing on her heels as she warmed up her muscles and waited, “you won’t, I promise.” Besides I could use a good ass kicking after everything I did...or didn’t do lately.
Fives observed her for a moment, seeing something very much akin to what he was feeling in her own features and it scared him a little. He wasn’t sure why this mirror scared him. Deciding he wouldn’t dwell on it at that moment he got into a stance too.
“Commander, are you sure?” He asked again, gathering the courage within himself. He was about to hit his Commander.
“Considering we’re about the beat the kriff out of each other, Fives, you can call me Valanthe, or Vala, if you like.” She flashed him a grin, extending one arm forward, fingers wiggling in a motion saying, come on then. “Yes, I am sure. You need to get it out of your system and aside from your brothers, I’m probably the only one who can take a hit from you and stay on my feet. Dance with me, Fives.”
He nodded slowly as he eased into his stance, nodding again. “Alright, let’s dance.” Normally, this would bring a smile to his face, but now, he was a blank board, or punching bag. At least, he wanted to be.
The first few hits were easily dodged, they served to test reaction anyway. Vala deflected and side stepped easily, experimented herself. He was just as agile as she was when she wasn’t using the Force to augment her movements. Valanthe could tell the man was holding his true power back, probably from the ingrained fear of hurting a Jedi.
So, she would have to coax it out of him. Coax the energy, the power, the emotion. She knew she needed to get him to talk about it, to explain to him that it was okay to hurt, that it was going to be a bit better in the end. That it wasn’t his fault.
So she started hitting a little harder, forcing him to defend himself. Both of them were quite proficient in their combat styles, Vala’s more focused on agility and precision, while his was a mix of strength and tactic, how to take care of your opponent in the quickest way possible. Soon, it developed almost into a dance.
Valanthe was developing a sweat, and she could see he was glistening even more than before.
“Talk to me, Fives. Tell me what happened? Ooof!” Valanthe dodged a left hook, but was swept to the floor the next moment and rolled away quickly. His next attack came more forcefully.
“What is there to say! You know what happened! It was a clone’s fault! It always is!” He growled.
“What?” Obi-Wan’s take on things had been much different. Had someone had a go at them already? At Fives himself?
“Charger slipped on a loose piece of rock and fell into an electro mine, tripping the alarms. The whole kriffin’ prison knew we were there in three seconds flat!” Fives landed a heavy jab to her kidney.
Valanthe groaned but kept moving, “go on.”
He went through the subsequent events. As the event drew to the landing pad where their shuttle awaited them with R2 and the reprogrammed battled droids, his movements grew sloppier, easier to deflect, easier to sneak a hit or two in of her own.
Even still, he had less impact zones than she. Every hit she let him land, she believed she deserved, for what she had done to Tomno, for how she lost herself in her own darkness.
She only really put up a defence for any hits going towards the face.
“They just kept coming!” Fives said, dodge rolling out of her way. “We thought we were going to get out...unf..” he blocked Vala’s attack and sent her rolling behind him, only to earn a foot straight to the chest as she kicked out and pushed him away and rolled away herself. “We had to stop them from getting to the shuttle...and Echo…”
He was on his knees, one hand bracing against the mat. “Echo didn’t hesitate. He took the initiative,” Fives’ breathing grew ragged. “He raced forward, took the energy shield of the guards and made for the shuttle, I was…” A choked sound left his lips.
Vala had rolled into a low crouch, both of her hands braced against the mats, listening intently, watching the breakdown in front of her eyes.
“I was behind him I was supposed to support him.” Fives wasn’t looking at her any more, more through her, then through the mat, then through her again as the memory replayed behind his eyes. “I told him to look out, I could see that turret was going to hit him! Maker! I could see it, I could feel it!”
But something happened, didn’t it? Valanthe knew this was the moment Echo had died, but how? Why was Fives feeling so damn guilty? What did he do?
She knew it in the next moment, as he looked at her with pained eyes, “I froze, Commander. I stood there and let the droid manning the turret hit him.”
Tears rolled out of amber eyes, “I froze…” his voice grew soft, “I froze and my brother is dead. He’s dead because I couldn’t save him, Commander. I failed them all, the Domino’s, Echo, the others, you, the Generals, I failed everyone…” he hung his head, his shoulders shaking. A sob escaped him then, then another and another.
You think it’s your fault, Obi-Wan thinks it’s his. Valanthe crawled over to him, shirking her hand wraps and kneeling in front of him as he covered his face with his hands. “Fives, no one blames you for this,” Vala said softly, but her words had no effect.
How could she say that? Of course it was his fault! He was supposed to watch out for Echo. Why would she be trying to distort the truth?
“Fives,” Vala placed her hands on his shoulders, “Fives, look at me.” Then when he didn’t, she added a soft, “please.”
His head finally raised slowly, why was she being so kind? He was a clone built for one purpose. He wasn’t even able to do that. They’d not only lost Charger, Echo and several others, they also lost Master Piell and they had gone to rescue him.
“I spoke with the Generals,” she said gently, her heart breaking for him, the grief and guilt he projected rivaling her own, threatening to overcome her. Vala fought it down, she needed to help at least someone today. She needed to do right by someone today. “Lola Sayu was a disaster waiting to happen from the word go. Everyone knew it, the Generals, the Jedi, me, Force even you and your brothers did. You went in with what little intel we had and you did your best, all of you did your very best. Wars are unpredictable. You could not have anticipated for every eventuality, Fives.” Vala said, eyes holding his.
“We are clones, Commander. We are born and bred for war, we should have anticipated it all. It’s who and what we are.” He countered, unwilling to hear her. How could she be excusing it?
“See that’s the paradox right there, Fives.” Valanthe’s palm touched his cheek, her own eyes having difficulty remaining dry, “clone or not, you’re still human, a living being. All of us are, which also means we are flawed. Even the wisest cannot see all ends.” She could feel him stiffen under her touch, yet, he remained rooted in place.
“I came back and Echo didn’t,” his voice was ragged as he looked at this green Jedi still so intent on absolving him from his guilt. “I promised you I’d bring him home.”
“Fives, no one can make such a promise for certain, not in the type of job we do.” Vala’s hand returned to his shoulder.
He missed the warmth of her hand the moment it left his cheek. At the same time he hated himself for daring to think it, to think about anything else but Echo. This alone brought him to tears again.
“How can you say that, Commander? Especially after I froze…”
“Oh Fives,” Vala sighed, gingerly wrapping her arms around him, “everybody has a moment like that,” she murmured as her chin settled in the crook of his neck.
She could tell he was shocked at the contact, not that he didn’t know what she was doing, they had hugged before. Vala knew it was because he didn’t believe he deserved one.
When she wasn’t letting go, something deep within him released, telling him it was okay. Okay to put his arms around her and bury his head in her shoulder. So he did, tighter than she was holding him and he wept. For Echo, for Charger, for the long gone Dominos. He wept for his failure, for the loneliness he felt amongst the 501st.
The only one he was really close to had been Captain Rex, on the odd occasion he’d get assigned with them after he and Echo made ARCs.
Valanthe’s arms tightened around him, “it’s okay, Fives.” She whispered softly, “it’s okay. You’ll get through this.” Vala felt his arms tighten further around her, “you can get through this. I believe in you.”
Something in his Force signature changed then and it seemed to brighten a little.
“Why are you doing this, Co...Vala?” He muttered into her shoulder. She had asked to drop ranks, so he determined it was okay. “Why? You don’t have to.”
“I know I don’t,” she said leaning her head slightly against his as she felt his breathing evened out. “I want to. I care about what happens to my boys. I care when they are happy, when they are sad, I care when they are in trouble, I care when they are at the ‘79’s having a drink.”
“Look, I know you prefer the company of clones, and I understand that,” Vala continued, pulling back slightly to look him in the eye. She was amused at the fact that he didn’t release her either, in fact, he even resisted the separation a bit. A part of her she shushed away didn’t mind.
“I am so sorry, about Echo’s loss. I know how close you two were.” Vala said earnestly, “I will listen and keep your confidence, if you will have me. A different perspective often leads to problems solved.”
He did not deserve such kindness. From anyone, let alone from a Jedi, let alone from his Commander. She seemed insistent though, stubborn even. Fives could even see her point. Fives would not refuse her and he would would do his best to be a friend to her too. She deserved no less from him. That is, if she would have a clone as a friend. A true friend.
This time, he followed his urge and tightened his arms around her, pulling her closer, “thank you.” He said, his chin resting on her shoulder, hoping he was conveying his gratitude correctly.
Valanthe smiled as she buried her face into his shoulder this time, squeezing him gently. There was brightness in him, and that bit of cheek she had come to like, perhaps a bit too much.
She had succeeded though, she believed. She had done right by someone today. At least someone.
Fives felt her shudder in his arms a little and choke back a sob. “Valanthe?” He asked, pulling back a little, shocked at how red and watery her eyes were. “What is it?”
“I can’t…” Vala swallowed thickly, “it’s not you…” she added quickly, “it’s just not safe to talk about it, not here, not now.”
His Force signature clearly echoed his concern.
“When you can…?” He wiped a stray tear with his thumb.
Valanthe nodded, “when I can.”
“Thank you, for trusting me. For everything.” He said to her, in all honesty.
Doom City District, Coruscant, sometime later
It killed Vala not to be able to tell Fives the truth. But with what she had learned, she could not risk his life or involvement in what she was going to do. She had already cost him so much, sending him on that mission. She would not risk him so again if she could help it.
There was a friend she had to warn though. Valanthe had to warn Ren. Someone had to know, to hopefully continue what she started. Sure there were Vanth and Tomno, but Vanth, once identified would soon become a liability and Tomno, Tomno had been through enough. So now, Valanthe sat at a secured terminal of a Doom City building, a scrambled, outbound communication waiting to be picked up. The place was a well-known red-light distict, complete with narrow streets, painfully ugly neon lamps on the walls and shady dealings. Perfect for what she wanted to do.
Whilst on the inside she was trying to keep herself together, on the outside, to anyone who knew her, it was quite clear that Valanthe had had an extremely difficult few days. Pain and sadness echoed from her features and a lot of unshed tears.
Ren had been meditating when Vala’s call had come in, she felt the ripple through the Force, this disconcerting wave that left her feeling antsy. Making her way to a nearby section of her garden she activated the holoprojection system. Ren had insisted on getting a communications system setup in the garden, while she would need to work, it was nice to have a space where she could do so in peace. Opening up the communication Ren felt her chest clench, the ripples in the force becoming so much more intense as her eyes settled on Vala.
Her friend was distraught, that much was obvious, her face tight and flushed like she was trying to hold herself together by shear force of will.
“Valanthe… what’s the matter?”
“So many things, old friend.” Valanthe’s voice was hollow as she spoke. “ Remember what I told you when you were last here? They’ve started to catch up. Night is dead…” She said softly, her tears spilling over her eyes, “they had a friend kill him…”
“By the Force… Vala… I am so, so sorry.” Seeing the tears begin to fall down those deep green cheeks, the break of her already hollow, lacking voice. Ren wanted to order the ship to turn round, race back to Coruscant so she could hold the woman in her arms, reassure her that everything would be alright, protect her from whatever she’d gotten herself into. Instead she was here, hurtling off toward her next battleground and all she could offer was words… “I know you aren’t alright, but are you holding up?”
Vala shook her head, “Echo’s dead too..” Her voice came out even more broken. “I failed my team again. Eventhough Fives is convinced its his fault...it’s not. I should never have authorized them to go on the mission.”
“Oh Vala no…” It was worse than she thought, Ren truly was a moment away from turning the ship back. “It’s not your fault and it’s not Fives’…” It pained her to say this, but it was something she learned more than once since the war started, since Sameria. “It’s war and we are all soldiers, sacrifice walks hand in hand with each of us.”
Vala nodded slowly, “does the name Asajj Ventress mean anything to you?”
She knew Ren would go to the ends of the cosmos for her and Vala would do the same for her sister, right now though, Ren was safer doing her job, and Vala was safer doing hers.
“I’ve heard of her yes, haven’t faced her in battle yet, but it’s something I’ve been trying to prepare Mina for.” Ren hoped that Vala wasn’t simply deflecting to bottle up her feelings, the Mirialan always felt so deeply and when she compartmentalized her heart, Ren worried. “She’s Dooku’s assassin, a Dark Force user as skilled with her lightsabers as she is with seduction. At least according to Obi-Wan’s report.”
Vala nodded, “I need to find her. If you see or hear anything, will you let me know?” The Mirialan sighed, trying to focus on what she needed to do instead of what she felt. What she felt had gotten her into a lot of hot water lately and she needed to regain control of herself again. She needed to detach.
How ironic, that the more I break from the Jedi, the more I fall back on their teachings. Vala thought to herself in that moment.
“Vala, you’re not planning to do anything rash are you?” From what she’d learned of Ventress, even Skywalker had trouble matching her in single combat. Vala was out of practice and hurting, a dangerous and often deadly combination.
“I’m going to do my job, Ren. Just like you’re doing yours. She’s tied to this, somehow. To what’s happened.” Vala sighed, “she influenced someone to kill Night.”
Of course she did… Vala wasn’t wrong, she was doing her job. But there was more, Vala was unbalanced, the loss of Xan pained her deeply. “It’s different Vala and you know it, when I act I have a whole battalion and Mina behind me… you can’t go after Ventress alone.” Too many have died doing the same, I won’t lose you…
“It’s less of a risk. This way noone else can get hurt. I won’t risk you or Mina, or any of our guys on this.” Vala shook her head. “I can talk my way into going off on an off world mission easily…”
In truth she was considering doing more than just talking her way into it.
“You and I have obviously developed a very different definition of less, how is you going in to this situation alone less risky than taking along two Jedi and lets just say a squad of highly trained and battle hardened clones?” Ren was on a mission but that didn’t mean she couldn’t take a detour to help rid the Republic of a rather large thorn in its side.
“I can hide, for one.” Vala raised an eyebrow.
“And if you’re discovered?” Ren crossed her arms over her chest, raising an eyebrow of her own.
“I’ll just have to make sure I won’t be and that a copy of my files is deliverd to you if I don’t reset the dead drop in time.” Vala shrugged, “I need to do this, Ren. For Xan, for Echo...for all of us.”
“But why…” Ren stopped herself, a lump forming in her throat, it was pointless even if she were standing right in front of the woman there was nothing she could have said to dissuade Vala. “Why won’t you let me help you, I just got you back…”
“Because I just got you back too,” Vala replied, her lilac eyes watering a bit. It was as close to an admission of affection and love Vala could muster at the moment.
The distance between them seemed to close as Vala spoke, instead of millions of lightyears separating the two women it was only a few inches, Ren could almost reach out, almost feel the warm touch of Vala’s cheek on her hand… almost. The lump in Ren’s throat threatened to spill over and turn into tears.
“I don’t…” She couldn’t even finish the thought, the words and consequences too awful to make real.
“Keep them safe, Ren. Please.” Vala swallowed hard.
Why were these always so hard? She was shaving a hard time dealing with all of the other already accumulated emotions and now...now Renia was just cutting at her heart, making her wish she was on that ship now instead of this dingy place trying not to have her signal picked up and traced here in the bowels of Coruscant.
“I will Val, I promise…” Ren wasn’t sure if she could hold back, the code was of no solace to her now and the one person who would be was so very far away… “Don’t…. Just come back to me ok?”
Vala nodded, her throat bobbing up and down as she swallowed hard. “I’m not giving up on those I care about again.”
