#cdd protector

[iwillbreakyourfuckingskull]

"I wouldn't wish that upon my worst enemy" well I fucking would

[fembydevotion]

being inside a trans body while identifying as our birth gender is complicated. i feel an overwhelming sense of grief, guilt, and dysmorphia. as a protector, i want the best for us, and i know that what is best is to continue our physical transition, but i cannot bring myself to do our t-shot. it's too hard. too dissonant with my own identity and desires. i guess i'm lucky that many of our features are naturally feminine, so i can still pass as a girl when i wear the right things, but i can't look in the mirror at myself too closely or i start to fixate on the coarse body hair or the new muscle tone or whatever else.

i don't know if i have a point to end this with, but i want to know if any other alters relate? or if you have tips? or if this makes you feel less alone? i feel like this is so rarely discussed in the system community, so i wanted to share my experience. <3

[iwillbreakyourfuckingskull]

How I lie in bed at night wishing the worst upon people I dont like

[iwillbreakyourfuckingskull]

When you're The Protector™ and you are never getting a fucking break

[iwillbreakyourfuckingskull]

im a silly (violent) little man just having goofy (murderous) ideas tihi :3

[iwillbreakyourfuckingskull]

When @firstnamelastname13948903 has a shitty opinion on social media