#ch: cookie

[warwickroyals]

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@thegrimalldis

[TRANSCRIPT]

[warwickroyals]

JUNE: Happy birthday, Marliyn💎

[warwickroyals]

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this one is packed with references and light spoilers . . . happy hunting. ("quay" is pronounced like "key", I've saved you all from saying it the wrong way for half your life like I have ^_^)

[MARK ASHLEY] Queen's Quay is the typical vacation hotspot for Sunderland's wealthy and elite. Cliche in its glamorous beauty.

[MARK] It hardly seems the place for a royal scandal, but the presence of King Louis’s youngest grandson has attracted controversy . . . and droves of photographers.

[ARTHUR] News ‘copter.

[MARK] What do you think they’re doing?

[ARTHUR] I don’t know, taking pictures, probably, some guy’s in there with a big-ass camera.

[MARK] Do they bother you?

[ARTHUR] Nah, I’m used to it. But it’s loud as hell, huh?

[MARK] But other than the cameras, you’re enjoying yourself?

[ARTHUR] Yeah, totally, we’ve got the three Bs: beaches, beers, and babes. So, uh, yeah it’s been great.

[MARK] Better than up north with grandpa, I’d bet?

[ARTHUR] Oh, one-hundo-percent.

[MARK] But while the prince might be well accustomed to intrusive photographers, the people of Queen’s Quay are not. Noise complaints and police reports have almost doubled in the past week.

[ARTHUR] I’m here to help you bitchless individuals out.

[ARTHUR] It’s easy, like, do this shit and: instant bitches

[ARTHUR] Chicks love sandcastles, just bullshit it. They love artsy shit like this.

[ARTHUR] You can be a 4/10 but if you can make a 6/10 sandcastle, you’re set.

[ARTHUR] I failed honours arts but bitches think I’m Beethoven when I bust out one of these.

[FINCH] Beethoven was a musician, tho . . .

[ARTHUR] I literally just said I failed AP art, Finch, why are you surprised?

[MARK] Your older brother is currently enrolled at Warwick Metropolitan University. If he graduates he will be the first member of your family to receive a graduate degree. Do you have any plans for post-secondary education?

[ARTHUR] Not really? People always get mad when I say this, but why do I need a degree? So I can get a good job?

[ARTHUR] Be real, I’m wearing a shirt with pineapples on it, you don’t want me filing anyone’s taxes. My brother’s the smart one.

[MARK] University can provide you with a lot of amazing opportunities.

[ARTHUR] I’d just fail. And even if I did well, people like you would just say I got unfair treatment like last time, so . . . I’m good.

[LOCAL WOMAN #2] I think it's just frustrating because you know that if he wasn’t royalty the police would have already shut it down. We don’t treat celebs like this.

[LOCAL MAN #1] The hotel is right across the street from us. It’s constant music and noise and traffic. It’s terrible.

[FINCH] What type of vape is that, my man?

[ARTHUR] Strawberry ice cream. I prefer the mango, but this one is alright.

[FINCH] They’re clowning you for vaping in chat, Art.

[COOKIE] Probably because it’s gross as fuck.

[ARTHUR] Omigod, shut up, both of you.

[ARTHUR] You guys are like my dad. Cigarettes are fine but vaping is so bad for you.

[FINCH] You’re not worried about popcorn lung?

[ARTHUR] You know I don’t believe in that shit.

[COOKIE] But he’ll believe once he develops it, tho.

[LOCAL MAN #2] I think the people here are being a little dramatic. Sure he's loud, but so are the local kids. Sure he's causing trouble, point me to one boy that hasn't? Stuff like this happens, people only care because of who he is.

[COOKIE]  . . . Like, yeah, why do you think I'm here? Woodbine is, like, so freaking boring in the winter, bitch—Oh, can I swear or will you censor bad words?

[MARK] We won’t censor, um, that one

[COOKIE] Oh, goody! I thought I’d [REDACTED]ed it up for a second there.

[MARK] Are these your friends from school, Your Royal Highness?

[ARTHUR] Well, I went to an all-boys school, so yes and no—

[COOKIE] His school was scuffed

[ARTHU] —she’s just saying that, she was always visiting afterhours, if you know what I mean. I have that effect on bitches.

[COOKIE] OMIGOD, ARTIIIIIEEE.

[COOKIE] I don’t give a fuck if they’re talking ‘bout my tits. I’m built differently for these little boys, the fuck?

[COOKIE] All white bikini my body looks like milk.

[ARTHUR] White on white?

[COOKIE]White on white on white. My nails are white too.

[COOKIE & ARTHUR] White on white on white on white 

[FINCH] They’re both so fucking annoying, guys. Pray for me.

[MARK] In recent years, the status of the Duke of Woodbine’s two sons has been subject to controversy. Last year, both young men were stripped of tax-funded police protection after senior members of the royal family reportedly expressed concerns. Prince Arthur refused to answer questions about his family. Back to you, Ana.

[MARK] Is it safe to say you’re dreading the end of your vacation?

[ARTHUR] As much as you’re dreading the end of this interview, yeah.

[warwickroyals]

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fyi, you might have missed yesterday's post, so make sure to read that for the full context.

irene tomorrow <3

[ARTHUR] It wasn’t my fault, I didn’t tell her to do anything.

[ARTHUR] I didn't—I didn't even know she—Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I'm sorry.

[ARTHUR] It won't—Oh, C'mon! It's gap year, don't do this shit to me—Hello?

[ARTHUR] I hope you're happy. My dad just threatened to cut me off if we're not home by tomorrow evening.

[COOKIE] I'm sorry, I didn't think it would be such a big deal. I thought it would be funny, like, I dunno . . .

[ARTHUR] I told you to wave. Why couldn't you just act normally?

[COOKIE] That was normal compared to all the stuff you told that reporter guy about me!

[ARTHUR] Seriously?

[COOKIE] Yeah! I’m serious. I was trying to own what people think about me because of you.

[ARTHUR] It’s really not that deep, we’re not even an item anymore; although now everyone thinks otherwise.

[COOKIE] You think I'm dumb.

[ARTHUR] I don't think you're dumb, Cookie.

[COOKIE] Then what are you thinking, hmm? Mr. Woodbine?

[ARTHUR] Nothing, my head is totally empty right now.

[COOKIE] Because right now I'm feeling like a real dumb blonde. Like, Marilyn. Yeah, Marilyn gets me . . .

[ARTHUR] Did I hurt your feelings? With what I said?

[COOKIE] I was just happy that you're still . . . you. You weren't pretending.

[ARTHUR] You're not dumb, Cookie, don't let people think that about you.

[ARTHUR] And, to be fair, you do have a pair of world-class tits. But you gotta keep 'em in your dress next time.

[COOKIE] [LAUGHS] Yeah, I’ll totally remember that for next time.

[COOKIE] Good night, Art. It was fun while it lasted.

[ARTHUR] Yeah, it was. Night.

[warwickroyals]

i was going to not censor the boobs but since cookie is fat, and simblr hates making content for fat sims, the only poses i could find had a bunch of clipping issues and i didn't have time to edit them T_T

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[GROUPIE] Your royal highness! We saw you on Instagram! Do you have room for three more?!

[ARTHUR] We have room for a hundred more.

[GROUPIE] Wait, really?

[ARTHUR] Hell yeah, baby, there’s room for everyone. So, are you swimming over here or not?

[PAPARAZZI] YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS! ARTHUR! PRINCE ARTHUR!

[ARTHUR] I think I could get used to this lifestyle. These people fucking love me.

[FINCH] Yeah, you're like a younger Leonardo.

[ARTHUR] Like . . . the Ninja Turtle?

[FINCH] No, dumbass, the—

[ARHTUR] I’m kidding, you obviously were talking about the painter, my bad.

[FINCH] This is why people don’t take you seriously.

[ARTHUR] I mean, you were the one who took that Beethoven shit seriously yesterday—

[COOKIE] I didn’t know you’d be inviting all of these random-ass people and photographers. What

happened to it being just for us three?

[ARTHUR] I might have undersold a little.

[COOKIE] Ugh, not funny.

[COOKIE] You told me yesterday would be the end of it, I hate it here. I wanna go home.

[ARTHUR] Oh, come on, Cookie, you’re over-exaggerating. They’re not all that bad. Come’ere.

[COOKIE] I don’t—

[ARTHUR] I wanna show you something! C’mon, c’mon, c’mon!

[ARTHUR] See? They love you.

[COOKIE] Uh, hi—

[PAP] Are you two still together, Miss? Are the break-up rumours false?

[PAP] We hope not! We love curvy girls! So much more to love.

[ARTHUR] . . . Give ‘em a wave, Cook.

[ARTHUR, THINKING] Fuck. I'm gonna have to explain this one.

[warwickroyals]

august 🍸

i’m on break for the rest of this month! i’ll probably still be online, but don’t expect much conent

i might post a thing or two but i’ll be spending this month working on my story off tumblr

i'll also do my best to catch up on some of the amazing stories on here that i've always wanted to read!

happy summer, you guys

[hoiist]

Cookie and Vas +Scone

[hoiist]

I remember while I was out of internet @kerx had sent me some expressions to practise to help me keep drawing.  I still have so many left but these are like some of the ones she sent me