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Chapter Forty-Three

Mattie couldn’t hear his mother when he travelled to his bathroom and back. He was very careful not to make much sound, not wanting to wake her. He took a shower and shaved clean for his mother’s benefit, and then he dressed in clean blue jeans, a navy long-sleeve T-shirt, and a soft, green sweater his mother had given him the year before, which he figured would be Christmassy enough. He dried his hair with a towel and left it alone after that. He headed down the stairs softly, and trailed his hand to the kitchen. After putting the kettle on, he got down the mugs and plates and the loaf of bread. He wasn’t sure if his mother liked to eat first things after she got up, or what she wanted, so he made himself some toast and ate an apple while he waited for the water to boil. It was almost eight. Amber would surely be calling soon, unless he headed her off and called first.

He was sitting at the table, slowly eating his toast, when his mother’s presence appeared with the sound of her walking cane and a greeting that made Mattie smile.

“Good morning, Sunshine,” she said. “You didn’t wake me.”

“Nope,” he said, taking a bite. He chewed, listening to her move across the kitchen. “How was your sleep?”

“Beautiful. At first, it seemed so quiet, but then it felt so much like home, I just floated off.”

“Well, it is home,” Mattie said. “Sit down, what are you doing? Let me get you something.”

“I’m getting myself a cup of tea. Maybe I’ll have some toast, too.”

“I can scramble you an egg. Or make French toast? I have cereal and oatmeal, too. Probably bacon, unless Amber used it all last time.”

“Relax, Sweetie. Enjoy your morning. I can very well look after myself.”

Mattie didn’t argue with her, realising she had just as much need for independence as he did. He nodded to her and smiled, taking a sip of tea. She was a strong women, she had withstood much pain, physical and otherwise, in her years. Mattie would not dream of treading on her dignity, knowing exactly how that felt.

He heard her opening the cupboards and instead of anything obvious, Mattie went for distraction to let her look in peace.

“I’m getting Jonah and Peter to fix the cupboards,” he told her. “We did some recon and we’re gonna swap out the doors. I have hit myself in the head one too many times, and if someone is here, and leaves them open, even for a second, one will get me. We’re going to put a lip along the bottom of each shelf, so everything that goes in will sit behind it and I can’t leave things hanging half off that way. And then there will be spacers and racks built in, so that things stay where they are put, and everything is easy to grab and put back.”

“Oh, now that sounds like a better set up for anyone,” Marion said, stirring her tea and coming to sit down. “I’d like something like that.”

“Sometimes it’s beneficial, being so meticulous and orderly,” Mattie said.

“Everything has its benefits,” Marion said, a smile evident in her words.

Mattie didn’t know if that was always true. He didn’t see any benefits with the pain his mother suffered in her joints and neck.

“Are you going to eat?” he asked, puzzled.

“I am. I’m making oatmeal. You lovely thing, you, having oatmeal for your old mother.”

Mattie grinned. “You know, some days, I just like to have it, too.”

“We’re two peas in a pod,” his mother teased him, speaking the truth.

“Yeah,” he agreed. “How’d we get Amber? Dan’s like Dad, I’m like you...”

“Amber is so much like my sister it’s scary,” his mother said.

“Do they ever come home anymore?” Mattie asked. Mattie’s aunt and uncle had moved to Florida after spending four winters there when his much-older uncle retired fifteen years before.

“Who, Patty and Ev? They haven’t been home in five years, and they keep telling me they’re going to come maybe this year in every Christmas card. I talk to Patty on the phone, though. She’s even more nosy than Amber.”

“No, she can’t be,” Mattie said.

“Amber’s not so much nosy,” Marion said, “as needing to make sure everyone is okay. She doesn’t really spread gossip or take interest in it, does she?”

Mattie shook his head. “She just needs to know everything about me.”

“Of course she does. She thinks of you as her charge. Ever since I gave her that position to convince her not to be jealous of you.”

“Was she jealous of me?” he asked.

“She was. Until I gave her the responsibility of helping me with you. She was mad that you got my hair and eyelashes and she didn’t, and that you and I looked alike. She was a very vain little girl.”

“But she always looked beautiful,” Mattie said, the memories of her thick, long honey-coloured hair and hazel eyes still strong. “She was the only girl, she had that whole thing in the bag. No matter what, one girl gets more than two boys, so jealousy was pretty silly.”

“She didn’t want to lose the attention that a baby takes up. She wasn’t done being the baby. I think it was like weaning a kitten too soon. She attached herself to you, to all of us, she needed to look after us. But mostly you.”

“Mostly me,” Mattie repeated. “Well, at least I’m keeping our roles the same.”

“Oh, don’t give me that,” his mother said. “I know you give Amber as much support and care as she has given you. After that whole thing with her ex and the money and everything you did for her then... you guys both need each other, and I’m proud I raised two kids that know the importance of their siblings.”

The lack of mention of Mattie’s brother was obvious. Mattie heard his mother get back up to finish the oatmeal and get some milk and brown sugar. He sat back, a second cup of tea in his hands, just as the phone rang.

“Speak of our angel, there she is,” he said, getting up for the phone. “Merry Christmas,” he said into the receiver.

“Hey, Merry Christmas, you guys up?”

“All up and festive. What’s up?”

“You’re supposed to be here,” Amber said.

“Am I? Did we have a deadline?”

“Did you eat?”

Mattie was grinning by this point. “When, today? Sure. We’re just hanging out, what’s your mad rush, Girl?”

Marion knew Mattie was baiting his sister now. She rolled her eyes and grinned, shaking her head. As much as Amber drove him nuts, he gave it right back to her, infuriating her and instigating her. And they would still absolutely be fine. That was the way they were, and it made Marion feel very, very happy.

“Uh, it’s Christmas, Xav? We’re waiting to open presents and you guys have stuff here, and then I need to get the turkey started and Craig has to run in to town.”

“Oh, geez, I didn’t realise we were on a timed schedule. Why are you making Craig go back into town, anyway?” He didn’t give her time to respond. “Can you give us... I dunno, half an hour?” He wished he could look at his mother to see if this was okay, but that wasn’t going to work anymore. “Mum? Is half an hour okay?”

“It should be okay.”

“Okay, Amber, don’t pee your pants for at least half an hour, and it might even take longer, I’m not rushing our mother, okay?”

“Yeah, okay. See you soon,”

“You will,” he said, hanging up. He returned to the table and sat down. “Don’t rush, Mum. It’s cool. I’ll handle her guilt and frustration.”

“I’ll just finish up here and go get a bath, if that’s okay.”

“That’s definitely okay. Are you okay with the tub? I should have thought about that, I wasn’t thinking. You can use the shower off my room, if you want, it might be easier.”

“I’ll go have a look and see.”

“Well, feel free to take your pick. I put towels in your room and stuff. Whatever you need, if you see it, use it.”

Marion finished her oatmeal and tea, and she stopped over and kissed Mattie on the forehead before heading back out of the kitchen and up the stairs. Mattie got up, filled the sink, and washed the dishes from that morning and the night before, hearing the water running upstairs when he shut off the taps. He hoped she took as much time as she liked.

He retrieved Amber’s gift from the den and gathered things together to take with him. Amber called again, asking if they wanted Craig to come over with the car to get them and their things. Mattie declined and then remembered that it had been snowing, and that his mother might not be willing to walk across the field. He asked how much snow had fallen.

“It’s a white one, Xav,” she informed him. “It’s finally a white Christmas. It’d probably be better for Mum if Craig goes over. Plus, if my gift is really, really big, you don’t want to have to lug it over.”

“Uh huh,” Mattie said, nonplussed. “Should’ve known it was all about the presents. Well, Mum’s in the bath... no wait, I can hear her moving around upstairs. Give us another fifteen minutes?”

“Okay, I’ll let him know.”

They were both ready when Craig drove the short distance to pick them up. Marion had put on a sparkly black sweater and soft dress pants, and Mattie noted she smelled nice. Craig met them at the front door and helped Mattie’s mother, taking a bag from Mattie at the same time. Mattie followed them to the car, climbing in the back as Craig helped his mother into the front. He took the bag Craig passed back and closed the door, ready to get this Christmas thing underway.

“Oh, she has all the lights on,” Marion said. “There are a lot of them; I’ll have to get a picture when it gets dark. It’ll be gorgeous, with the snow.” She turned, biting her lip as she glanced at her son in the back.

“You’ll love the tree, Mum,” he said. “It’s big, like our old trees.”

“Yes? Oh, I love big trees, when one has the ceiling to house them. Did you help decorate?”

“I tested the alcohol for them and directed from the sidelines.”

“Important jobs,” Craig said, shutting off the engine. He came around and collected Mattie’s mother and one of Mattie’s bags again, and they all made their path in the new snow to Amber’s front door.

“Oh!” Amber sang from the open door, welcoming them into the foyer. “Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, come in! Don’t worry about your boots, Mum, you can take them off when you’re inside.”

“I’ll take them off here, thank you, Amber. I’m not tracking snow into your clean house.”

When they stepped into the living room, Marion made an appreciative sound in admiration of the Christmas tree. Mattie followed slowly, keeping his cane ahead of him slightly, scanning the floor in front of him for objects of potential hazard. Marion was taken to Mattie’s favourite chair, which was also hers, and Amber let her know several times that there were oranges, grapefruit, cereal, eggs, toast, yoghurt, anything she desired, but Marion reached out and patted Mattie’s hand as he stood next to her chair, telling Amber they’d already had a nice breakfast and Amber had no need to make a fuss.

“I’ll just have some of this peppermint bark and a chocolate cherry and I’ll be all set,” Marion said, leaning towards the table where dishes of sweets were in abundance. “Mattie, there are all sorts of things here, chocolate and peppermints and nuts and chicken bones. Would you like anything?”

Mattie smiled, shaking his head. “No, I’m fine, thanks. Too early for me for chocolate. You go ahead.”

“It’s never too early for chocolate,” Amber said. “Or opening presents. Finally.” She touched Mattie’s back. “Come sit down, Hun.”

“Where? Everything is moved around and there are presents everywhere.” He let Amber steer him toward her chesterfield, the end closest to the tree. “I can pass you stuff from here,” she told him. “And there’s the table beside you, don’t forget.”

“Right, okay.” Mattie folded his cane and put it on the side table tucked under the arm of the chesterfield. He felt a lumpy knit object, the Christmas stocking, obviously, bumped onto his lap, and he held on to it, putting it beside him.

“Thanks, Santa,” Mattie said.

“Here, Mum. Santa tried not to use much tape for everyone. Santa is very conscious of accessible gifting.”

Mattie laughed quietly, and Amber saw it, as he bent over a small box wrapped in red and gold paper. She always found it strange and yet not strange that he always hunched over, his eyes directed toward his hands, as if he was concentrating on looking at what he was doing. She figured it would be stranger if he didn’t bow his head, if he just sat straight up, looking ahead, but it would probably make more sense.

Their stockings contained the silly little games, the mundane household items, and the Whoppers chocolate malted candy they always got every year. Mattie had socks and a new pair of earbuds for his iPhone. There was a gift card for Canadian Tire, which had been Brailled by someone for the amount and the store, so he’d never have to ask if he had the right one. There were new sticky bumps for him to use anywhere he needed a tactile mark, and Amber had come across rubber key covers, which were brightly coloured and also marked with different raised shapes around the edges, made especially for people with visual impairments.

Amber saw how Mattie became so intrigued and excited by things he could use, things that were made with visual impairments in mind. He no longer was bitter about any of them. Amber silently thanked the stars. She always fretted over giving him anything with his blindness in mind, but she knew that despite Mattie’s reluctance and dismay at the beginning of all this, he’d always realised how useful each tool would be, and how they would become invaluable to him. It had all started with his watch. Mattie had never forgotten to wind it every night since the Christmas she’d given it to him. She looked at it on his wrist now, a little worn, but still in perfect working condition. It was still, to Amber, a beautiful watch. It was more than a watch; it was Mattie’s new beginning.

Finished with the stockings, Craig went and made coffee and they all took a little break. Amber and Mattie showed their mother Mattie’s craft ornament he made with Lilla, and then showed her the bread dough ornament the little girl had made for Mattie.

“She’ll hopefully stop in before you go, Mum, maybe you’ll get to meet her,” Mattie said.

“I can’t wait,” Marion said. She also couldn’t wait for him to have his own little girl to love like he loved this Lilla, but she kept that remark to herself, knowing it was not the right thing to say to him. Instead, she broke up a little argument between her children over apple pie of all things. Some things just never changed, she said to herself pleasantly.

Amber took a gift, wrapped in blue and silver, to her mother. She sat down on the floor near the tree and looked through the presents. She picked out a green and red one, bumping it against Mattie’s knee.

He took it, feeling it all over, noting the bow on the top and a big cardboard tag. In Braille, it read To Xav, love Amber. He smiled, a silent thank you. A light blue cotton button-down shirt and a soft grey sweater. He touched them both, noting they felt nicer than many of his other shirts and sweaters. Amber was shopping for him by touch now, as well. She described them to him and he thanked her for taking some of the clothes shopping burden off him a bit.

Mattie opened the presents handed to him, listening to the others exclaim over their own gifts. His hands travelled over the paper-wrapped box in his lap, and he felt a tag but got no clues from it.

“It’s from Mum,” Amber told him, seeing him touching the tag.

“Ah, okay,” he said, smiling in his mother’s direction.

“Sorry, Sweetie, I don’t know how to write Braille,” she said. “I figured Amber would be in charge.”

“And she is, so you were on the mark,” Mattie told her, reaching the rectangular box. He lifted off the cover and felt a pair of canvas shoes. He could smell the new rubber and he smiled, tracing their shape. “New Chuck Taylors!” he said happily.

“How’d you know they were?” his mother asked him.

“They always smell like this. Plus, they have the tag on the heels. I’d know Chucks anywhere,” he grinned. “Except... what colour are they?”

“Wait for it,” Amber said. “You have blue shoes and green ones, and brown shoes... these ones are funky red.”

Mattie laughed. “I love them,” he said. “Red sneakers are cool.”

“Oh, good, I was worried,” Marion said. “Amber told me red and I thought she was crazy, you wouldn’t want red sneakers.”

Mattie puzzled his eyebrows. “Why wouldn’t I want red?” he asked.

“Yeah, he loves red,” Amber said.

“They suit you,” Marion agreed. “I’m glad you like them.”

Mattie got to his feet and, carefully sliding each foot forward so as not to crush anything on the floor between them, made his way across to his mother. She reached up and touched his arm, guiding him in so he could hug her.

“Thanks, Mum. They’re really cool.”

“I figured you can always use another pair, with all the walking you do,” his mother said.

“Yup. Always.” He turned and went back to his seat, putting the box with his sweater box beside him.

Amber found her present from her mother. She was thrilled with the box, it had a grey and pink hoodie, a pair of pink Keds, and three bestselling novels. She also gave her mother a big hug.

“Get Mattie the other one,” Marion said to her daughter.

Amber looked amongst the packages and found another gift to her brother from their mum.

“I don’t expect more, Mum,” he said, opening it up. His fingers didn’t recognise the object under them, but he continued to explore it. It was square, with a recessed place on the top, and a rounded part that jutted out over the recess. It had one button on that part. He found another button on the side. Another piece had fallen into his lap, and he picked that up and explored it, too. It had a key chain on it. It was plastic and had five tabs with Braille on them: 5, 10, 20, 50, 100. Flipping the tabs up, he found they were backed with another tab which didn’t move. Inside the flipped up tabs, he found the reverse Braille of the numbers, meant to push into paper between the tabs. He squeezed them back together, trying to think what it could be.

Amber didn’t know, either, and looked at her mother, who sat smiling, waiting for her son to figure it out.

“What is it?” she wondered aloud, sliding over on the floor to look at the square object in Mattie’s lap.

Marion saw the look of bewilderment on Mattie’s face change to a conquering grin, and she knew he’d just figured out what it was. He put the plastic object down and picked up the other, heavier thing again.

“Give me some money,” he said to Amber.

“Get your own money,” Amber retorted, not realising.

“No, I mean, for this. I didn’t bring money with me.”

“Oh!” Amber said, looking at it again, and then jumping up to grab a bill. She found a five in the desk in the hall and brought it back, giving it to Mattie.

“I hope it doesn’t matter which way,” he said, sliding the bill into the slot under the round part with the button on it, and when he had it in all the way, he touched the button.

“Five,” said a digital voice. Mattie grinned, taking out the five and feeling for the bumps the mint incorporated into their money. They were often flattened out and unreliable, although Mattie could feel the single block of cells in this bill. It was definitely a five. He put the device down and slid the bill into the plastic object, lifting all the tabs and then pressing down the first one once the bill was tucked in the slot. He took it back out and felt it, and the number was clearly pressed into the money. He had no trouble reading it whatsoever.

“Mum, that’s freaking awesome,” Amber said.

Mattie nodded. He smiled over at his mother. “This is really awesome,” he agreed. “Thanks, Mum.”

“You’re very welcome, Mattie. I’m glad you like it. I think it will come in handy for you?”

“Oh, yeah. Really handy. You don’t even know. Well, I guess you do know, since you got me this.”

They all chuckled and Amber went back to her job of giving out presents. Craig was given a big box, which turned out to be a new monitor for his computer. Amber had a gift from Barb, and one from her boss. Marion opened one from Amber.

Amber’s gift from Mattie was a camera. He’d researched digital cameras, and he found a reliable reviewer to help him make his decision. He knew Amber had a camera on her phone, and she had her old film camera, which had been a nice one in its time, but she’d never invested in a proper new one.

“Ohmygod,” she said, looking at him and then back at the camera. “Xav! I love it! These are expensive, though.”

“Are you kidding me? You, who goes all out like Saint Nick, deserve it more than anyone.”

“There are so many functions on it! Oh, wow, there’s a time lapse and a timer and filters and zooms and all sorts of things. I need to play with this for a few days and figure it out.”

“Just promise me you’ll show me your best ones,” he said. “Tell me about them.”

She leaned up and hugged him. “Weird gift from a blind guy,” she whispered, teasing him. “I love it. Thank you so much, Little Brother.”

He nodded, smiling sheepishly.

“Here. Here’s yours. From Craig and me.”

Mattie took the box. It was quite heavy, but the cardboard had some give to it when he pressed down on it to pull at the tape. His other hand found the tag, and read it. To Xav Merry Christmas xoxoxoxoxo Amber and Craig

Once the paper was torn away, he lifted the lid and flipped it off, his hands pulling the tissue paper away. He immediately knew the feel of what was inside, but not what it was. He picked it up, the heavy leather unfolding from his hands.

“A leather jacket!” he burst out, and immediately stood, the box falling on the floor. He pulled the zipper down, and Amber stood up quickly to give him a hand.

“I hope it fits,” she said. “It should. I have the receipt if you don’t like it or it’s not the right size.” She pulled it over his shoulders and turned him around, giving his collar a tug.

“It feels perfect,” he said, touching the arms, the front, the length, the collar, checking it out. He found the pockets and felt the lining. “What colour is it?”

“Oh, black, of course, Xav,” Amber told him. “You’re in a band, remember.”

His grin got bigger. “I can’t believe you got me a leather jacket,” he said.

“You like it?”

“Yeah! I do! I really do, Amber, thank you so much. Craig? Thanks, Man. I love it.”

“You look really rockin’,” Amber informed him.

“He does,” his mother concurred. “He looks very handsome and a little bit bad-boy.”

They all laughed, and Amber helped Mattie take off the jacket and set it on the chesterfield with his other things.

“I’m all suited up, now,” Mattie said. “Socks, kicks, sweaters, shirts, and a leather jacket.”

“For all the dates you’ll have in twenty-eleven,” Amber told him.

He replied with a roll of the eyes and a shake of his head. Amber pretended she hadn’t seen it.

There were a few more gifts to go around, and then they sat back, eating some sweets. Craig made some more coffee and Amber balanced out the sweets with a fruit tray she’d had Craig pick up the day before. She gave Mattie the layout of the fruit and then cleaned up some of the paper and boxes.

“You can put my stuff under the tree for now,” Mattie said as he heard her moving things around.

“Can I? Okay, sure. Mum?”

Marion passed Amber her own gifts to put under the tree as she was organising the presents.

“What was the game you got again, Am?” Mattie asked.

“Pictionary,” she said. “No, I got two. The other one is Mindbender.”

Mattie knew he’d be no good at the first one, but the second one was more trivia and odd facts and he figured if they played partners he could really take the game. “Cool,” he said.

Amber and her mother soon went off to the kitchen to get some things ready for supper later. Amber had taken the turkey out to thaw the night before and was sticking it in the oven to broil it slowly through the day.

Mattie and Craig relaxed, hoping they weren’t asked to do anything in the kitchen. No-one felt like eating a lunch since they’d been snacking on nuts and fruit and sweets all morning, so at least that was a chore no-one needed to pick up.

Amber’s phone rang, and shortly after, she came into the living room to inform Mattie his little friend would be stopping over in about twenty minutes. He laughed, hoping she’d liked what he’d bought her. He’d given Jonah the gift when he’d given him the Braille Christmas card. He’d wanted it to be under her tree as a surprise.

When she arrived, Amber greeted her at the front door, along with her father, who gratefully accepted a coffee.

“Up early?” Amber asked with a grin.

“Four-thirty, five-thirty, and finally six-thirty. After that it was game over.”

“Poor old Dad,” Amber said.

“Hi, Mattie!” said Lilla, who had taken all her winter things off and was heading over to sit beside him.

“Hey, Kiddo, Merry Christmas. Santa find you?”

“Yeah, he did!!”

“Of course he did, I never doubted it.”

“Thank you for my present!” she said. “I love it so so so so so much.”

“Yeah? That much?”

“This much,” said Lilla, first putting one fist under Mattie’s left hand and then her other under his right. She made her arms go as wide as she could, and Mattie felt her stretching. He marvelled at her instant creativity.

“Wow, that is a lot of love,” he said, and felt her arms drop and go around his chest. She hugged him hard and he gave her a squeeze. “I’m so glad.”

“She ran around the house, squealing,” Jonah informed Mattie.

“Well, at least you were awake by then.”

“And if you weren’t,” said Amber, “that would have done it. Oh, Jonah, Lilla, this is Mattie’s and my mum, Marion.”

After introductions, they all sat down with their coffee. Mattie had declined coffee this time. One was enough for him in a day. Amber brought him and Lilla glasses of fresh apple cider instead, spiced with cinnamon. Lilla had no trouble finding the chocolate-covered cherries.

“What did Mattie give you, Lilla?” Marion asked the little girl.

“A horse! It’s got fur and a saddle and blankets and a bridle and a brush for its mane and tail. It’s just like a real horse. Its legs and head move, too. But it’s small. Like for a doll.”

“That sounds pretty amazing,” Marion said.

“It’s pretty amazing,” Jonah said. “Those are pretty pricey toys, Matthew.”

“Well,” said Mattie. “I didn’t want to start anything, but I really liked that horse,” Mattie said. “I had to get it for her.” He turned to his mother. “You know those American Doll toys?”

“Oh, I’ve seen those, they’re pretty fabulous,” Marion said. “But they are expensive. This little girl looks like she’s worth it, though.”

Lilla beamed, and then turned to Mattie. “You gave me a palomino. I know that because I learned the different kinds with my birthday present.”

Mattie grinned. “Yeah? Good girl, that horse was a palomino! I asked, so I’d know, too.” He turned to where his mother sat. “We found a whole set of really nice horses, all different breeds. Lilla likes ponies and horses a lot.”

“So I gathered,” Marion said, getting a good look at the little girl that her son had rescued a few years before. She had a bright face, ready to smile. There was a tooth missing in that smile, on one side, giving her a rough-and-tumble rumpled look that children had when they lost their teeth. Her longish blond hair was held back with a blue headband with three sparkly pompons on the side, and loose stray hair framed her blue eyes, which often were turned to Mattie. Marion could see the admiration and attention Lilla gave him. In return, Mattie’s smile was different when the little girl brought it out of him. His eyes sparkled, and they didn’t do that much anymore. He was more like the boy she had raised, the only care in the world he had at the moment was playing a variation of snap and one potato with Lilla and trying to figure out when she would pull her fists away so he could tap them, and therefore win. The two of them were giggling, and Marion realised she had not heard her son laugh that way in years.

“Lilla?” said her father. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Oh!” cried the little girl, returning to her coat on the chair in the hallway. She stepped into the doorway, looking shy.

“Mattie?” she said in a soft voice.

“Yeah, Sweetie?”

“Can you come’ere?”

Mattie stood and carefully went over to where she stood against the door frame. She took his hand and pulled him into the hallway.

“I have a present. A Christmas present... but I don’t want you to open it in front of everybody,” she half-whispered and half-groaned the last part. “I don’t want them all watching.”

Mattie couldn’t agree more, but he was curious. He crouched down beside her. “Why not?”

“Because I don’t want them to laugh at me if they think it’s stupid.”

“Wha—? No way it’s stupid. Can I open it now?”

“Yeah.” Now she really sounded shy.

He pulled the paper off, feeling Lilla take it from him to get the bow off the top, and opened the little box. His fingers felt fluffy balls, and he pulled the item from the tissue. He could hear the conversation inside again, and imagined Jonah was filling them in. Examining the object with scrutinising care, Mattie found there were three pompons attached, each one larger from the one above it. There was a string on the top, indicating it was to be hung. On the top pompon, he felt a plastic shape that could have been glasses and a tiny cone shape holding them up. On the second pompon, there were three beads, and two twigs, which were still supple and mostly unbreakable. Attached to one twig was a long, straight twig or dowel or something quite smooth. Between the two pompons there was a piece of knit fabric with tassels along the ends. On the bottom, the largest pompon, there was another bead.

“It’s sparkly and white,” Lilla said. “Do you know what it is?”

“It’s a snowman ornament? Did you make it?”

“It’s a blind snowman,” the little girl said. “I think there are blind snowmen, too.”

“Wait, what? It’s a blind snowman?” Mattie felt the ornament again. Sure enough, the snowman was wearing sunglasses and carrying a cane.

“They never have ornaments that say it’s okay to be a blind snowman,” Lilla said. “I don’t like it.”

Mattie had no idea if he would break out in laughter or tears. He waited until he was sure. “I guess there probably are some blind snowmen,” he suggested.

“But they don’t ever have anyone on TV or cartoons that can’t see. Why not?”

“Well, I suppose it’s because it’s not so common to see blind people, so they don’t have blind characters. People don’t always want to see things that are different, they sometimes think different is bad.”

“Do they think being blind is bad?”

“Most people do, I guess.”

“Is it?”

He smiled at her, making sure his gaze was fixed to her level. “It’s not something people want to have happen to them, or someone they love. It makes things much harder every day. But it’s not bad. People aren’t bad because they can’t see, or hear, or walk, or talk. They’re just different. They have to do things a little differently, and sometimes that makes people think they can’t be happy.” He smiled down at the snowman in his hands, as if he was seeing it. “This is the best snowman ever. Is he smiling?”

“Yes,” she said. “I made beads the coal, and he has a smile and buttons on his front.”

“I can feel the coal button beads,” he said. “You are one creative little girl, you know that?” No wonder her mother had given her that big craft box. “Yup, look at that, he is smiling, too. Good. He’s pretty happy. Just like me.” He held the snowman up next to his cheek for comparison and he heard Lilla giggle.

“You want me to show them? Or just show Amber later?” He wanted to give her the option, not wanting to embarrass her unwittingly.

“You can show them,” she said. “I just didn’t want them to laugh.”

“Why would they laugh? If any of them think a blind snowman is something to laugh at, what do you think they think of me?”

There was no verbal response, but Mattie put his hand out and she took it. They rounded the corner back into the living room, smiling.

“What’d she give you?” Amber politely inquired. “Can he show us?” she asked Lilla.

“Yeah,” Lilla replied.

Mattie held up the little snowman ornament and they all made pleased noises.

“Is that a little Mattie snowman?” Amber asked, getting up and going to her brother. She touched his hand and he passed the ornament to her.

“It is,” Mattie said, not knowing Lilla was hiding her face beside him down on the chesterfield. “Isn’t he cool? He’s got his shades on and everything.”

“I like it,” Amber said, looking at Lilla, who was peering through her fingers. “I think he definitely deserves a good spot on the Christmas tree.”

Mattie smiled. “There’s always room for a blind snowman,” he said.

“You bet,” Amber replied.

Marion had watched this entire exchange with great interest. The little girl had absolutely no problem or discomfort with Mattie’s disability. She had been around him in her young, learning years when she took in what was around her as normal. Marion could understand why Amber called her Mattie’s little guardian angel, even though he’d been the guardian angel to her in the first place.

Lilla helped Mattie to hang the snowman on the tree. Mattie loved it better than anything she could have bought him. He was noticing some irony, too, in that he, who did not want a tree because he could not see the ornaments, was starting to have quite a collection of tree ornaments that would still inspire recollections of good memories. He could touch them and recognise them faster than most could visually recognise ornaments that hung on trees in the majority of celebrating homes. One day, he might need to rethink the whole tree thing, he thought, but for now, he would keep hanging them on Amber’s welcome tree, letting Christmas in piece by piece.

After Lilla and her father left, Marion went upstairs to have a nap. Amber returned to the kitchen to continue with the dinner preparations, leaving Mattie and Craig to the television. Mattie dozed for a bit, and was awoken by his mobile phone, which was also letting him know it was Peter on the other end.

“Heya,” Mattie said. “Merry Christmas.”

“Hey, Xav,” said Chloë. “You guys just chillin’?”

“Craig and I are,” Mattie said. “You guys coming over?”

“Yeah, we’re on our way. Pete’s just scraping off the car. You’re at Amber’s right?”

“Yup, come on in when you get here. Amber’s out puttering in the kitchen. I think she had everything ready two hours ago, so she’ll probably come sit in here whenever you get here. Mum’s upstairs. It’s all good, come on over.”

They were there within fifteen minutes, bringing two bottles of wine for Amber’s table. Peter gave Mattie’s shoulder a good pat on the way by.

“Hey, Xavier, how did Santee treat y’?” he asked, sitting down on the love seat with Chloë.

“Santa’s a very forgiving fella,” Mattie replied. “Apparently he didn’t cut me from the nice list yet. You?”

“Santa must have had a really good year,” Peter said. “He got me a new deck for the house. Though I noticed he didn’t offer to come help build it.” He turned to Chloë with a grin. “I should have said he got us a new deck, shouldn’a I?”

“I’ll let it slide,” Chloë teased. “Since you’ll be that Santa building our deck.”

“So this is kinda a gift to us all,” Mattie said. “Hanging out on the deck, watching Pete cook our supper on the old barbecue. Santa really knows how to give.”

Mattie had a gift of a box of beer and two pairs of movie passes for Peter and Chloë. Peter and Chloë gave Mattie a box of beer and a lift pass and equipment ticket for the ski hill that season.

“Yeah,” said Chloë. “You guys are way too much the same.”

“No,” disputed Peter. “He gave us movie tickets. That’s different.”

“It’s only because we always drink each other’s beer,” Mattie explained. “It’s only for safety’s sake, that we know the other one will have beer.”

“At least for the next few days,” Peter added, and Mattie nodded, as if this was all very practical.

“Shi—whoot!” Peter stammered. “Who got the sweet leather jacket?” He was already over taking it out of the box.

“Mine,” said Mattie, smiling. “Pretty damn cool, huh? From Amber and Craig.”

“That is nice,” Peter said. “Gotta love a well-made leather jacket. That’s gonna keep you warm, and cool at the same time,” Peter said, and Mattie laughed at his pun.

“Nice one,” he said.

“I’m not being presumptuous in assuming this camera belongs to Amber?” Peter asked.

“That’s a rather sightist remark,” Mattie said, feigning offense.

“So, then it’s yours, then, Ansel Adams?”

“Yeah, I’m taking up wildlife photography.”

“Nice. Send me your calendar.”

“Oh, I’ll send you the whole fuckin’ coffee-table book collection,” Mattie replied.

“I guess maybe I should build a nice shelf with my extra deck wood,” Peter said, taking a look at the camera.

“Damn straight,” Mattie said, still holding a serious face.

Craig and Chloë weren’t able to do the same. As always, Chloë felt nothing but adoration for her fiancé and his best friend and their amazing bond. Their ridiculous banter bordered sarcasm and the absurd, with a good dash of cruelty, in its best form, and Chloë was always entertained by the pair of them.

Mattie’s mother joined them after a while, and Amber popped in and out of the kitchen, checking on things periodically. They all passed the afternoon jovially, laughing and eating at the sweets and treats, through they tried not to. No-one wanted to ruin their appetite, but the scents from the kitchen made them hungry enough to keep nibbling.

Finally, Amber declared everything ready, and herded them out into the dining room, showing them their settings. Mattie and Marion were on one side of the table, Peter and Chloë on the other, and Amber at the head, just because it was closer for her to go to the kitchen for anything. Craig was at the other end, to Marion’s right. Everyone was given charge of their own plate, serving themselves from the sideboard and a serving table. Amber took care of Mattie’s plate, knowing his tastes and appetite. She took it to him, showing him his chair and giving him the layout of his plate before returning to make sure everyone had what they needed and getting her own plate.

Mattie was in his most awkward moments when seated closely around a table eating such an elaborate meal. He was ever-grateful to Amber for making it less difficult to enjoy it all. She’d cut his turkey into smaller slices, buttered anything that required a little, put his dinner roll on a separate plate he could use for other things, and gave him extra napkins. His mother, on his right, kept her eyes out for him, offering help now and then.

They all gave their compliments to the cook. It was all perfect, although Amber thought her gravy wasn’t quite right. Mattie didn’t like gravy, so he had no complaints at all. They all went for seconds, though Mattie insisted his second plate be very light. He wanted room for pie.

Pies served, apple, pumpkin, and cherry, they retired to the living room with coffee and tea.

“Is it still snowing?” Mattie asked.

“I think it stopped before it got dark,” Craig said, glancing out the window. Everything is all a glow of colour out there from all the Christmas lights on the snow.”

“You can get a picture with your new camera, Xav,” deadpanned Peter.

“That’s my camera,” Amber said, not getting the joke, having missed it earlier. “Why would Xav get a camera for Christmas?”

“What are you, a Sightist?” Peter asked, and Mattie burst into a huge grin, laughing at his friend’s quick mind.

“Oh my God, you two,” Chloë between breaths of laughter. “They had this whole conversation earlier, Am.”

“Oh, fuck off, you two, two peas in a pod,” Amber said, laughing despite her attempt at disdain.

Marion, who knew it was pointless to make an observation about Amber’s language, smiled at her family, feeling that everything that was right and beautiful was here in this house.

But she still had that one wish left to be granted. And then, it would be right, beautiful, and perfect.

Small Mercies Chapter 43, a romance fiction | FictionPress

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