Checkmate - The grave of kindness
Summary: As a new dawn lights the city of Chicago, Marian Eaton is tasked to make the most important
decision of her life, in what faction will she choose to belong? Can a broken and scared girl
survive in a world where kindness is weakness and nobody is truly you friend?
Marian is not sure, but staying in Abnegation is not an option.
I run as fast as I can through the garbage filled hallways of Abnegation, long skirt hindering my strides, but the men keep following me.
Theyāre relentless, I donāt even know what I did wrong, but here I am, being chased like a cat by a pack of dogs.
Stumbling into a big pile of debris I almost fall to my knees but the sound of their steps getting closer keeps me running.
I turn left, then right, then left again through the alleys but their voices keep getting louder and louder with each of my steps.
In an effort to slow them down I climb over the short wall that separates the Abnegation district from the abandoned factories of southside Chicago. Iāve done it before with the help of my brother, but alone is much more difficult.
Barely landing on my feet, hands scraped and breath cut short, I keep moving, rushing through the factionless and their camps until Iām faced with a grey wall.
A deadend, I look around to find an escape but Iām only met by even taller buildings, damn me.
The men are now behind me and I donāt have the courage to turn around. Theyāre five, I counted them before, my chances of making it out are close to none. I couldn't win against one, let alone five of them.
I can hear their heavy breath, I donāt want to face them, I tell myself I donāt have to, maybe if I ignore them they'll leave me aloneā¦
āNow, now lilā ladyā a heavy hand lays on my shoulder and forces me around, his grip is firm enough to hold me steady but not enough to hurt me, for now at least.
My eyes dart from his scrawny face to the pavement, āheās one of the new onesā I tell myself, āAbnegationās factionless donāt behave like thisā.
His words bring me back to reality āYou got something for us?ā, I shake my head, body trembling under his touch, āNo-nothingā¦ Iā I steady my breath āI gave everything away, I swearā He huffs and I flinch in response āIām sure yaā still got something for usā¦ā his hand travels to the hem of my sweater āMaybe some sugarā.
I trash from his grip and back away until my back hits the wall, the men keep coming towards me and the one from before lowers himself to my height.
I shouldāve listened to Mrs. Prior, I tell myself, the alleys aren't a place for a girl to be roaming on her own.
Why didnāt I listen? Why couldnāt I just stay home? I know the answer but I still question myself.
The other men look at me, their eyes dark as dogsās, I whine āPlease let meā¦ā āLook, we really are in need,ā his hand finds the hem of my long cotton skirt, I wince, avoiding his gaze and holding my breath āIām sure yaā can help us outā.
My pleas fall on deaf ears as the other men close in on me, their figure for a second seems to cover all light coming from the sun. Darkness surrounds me and for a second I believe I wouldāve been better off staying home.
One of them grabs my arm, anothes places a gloved hand on my cheek, I close my eyes and start praying, pleading to God to make it quick.
Suddenly, three loud shots break the excruciating silence in the alley and I find myself being thrust to the ground.
My head hits the pavement and something cuts my ankle but I donāt care, I thrash and break away from their grip, the men are barking and hissing, I canāt seem to understand what theyāre saying but it feels like watching a dog fight.
A single raven dressed figure makes his way towards us, gun raised, another shot fills the air and I scream as something pierces my skin.
My eyes suddenly shoot open and my hands grip painfully hard the grey bed sheets, I suppress a shriek.
I look around, scared they might still be lurking in the dark but my bedroom is empty and both the window and the door are still locked.
The room is silent and only a few specks of light make their way from the window, making shapes on the wall.
Itās cold, almost too cold for it to be only September. I shiver, hugging the sheets as I think about the dream from earlier.
It happened almost three years ago, just a few months after my brotherās choosing ceremony. At the time I hadnāt found another companion for my daily duties, that's why I was alone.
Those men wouldāve had their way, if that Dauntless patrol hadnāt been aroundā¦ I shake my head trying to eliminate those thoughts.
It didnāt happen and I donāt want to think about it.
Now calmer, I look at the small grey calendar that hangs on the bare wall. I sigh reading the date.
Today all of Chicagoās sixteen year olds will take the aptitude test which will tell us what faction we belong to.
My gaze shifts to the old alarm clock on my bedside table, the clockhands tell me itās 6:00 am. I take it in my hands for a moment, the glass screen is broken, making it barely readable and its legs are wobbly but it still works nonetheless.
The alarm gets put back in place after another second of scrutinising and I swing my legs off the bed.
āI donāt need a testā I tell myself while I make the bed āI already know where I belongā, I fluff up the old pillow āDoesnāt mean I likeā.
Getting ready for the day doesnāt take much time, people in Abnegation arenāt permitted to own a mirror, as to no sin of vain so Iām rather quick to wash and dress myself.
All the clothes I own, which arenāt many, are also grey and very large on me so Iām not preoccupied with my looks all that much.
As my faction teaches, we must devote ourselves to help others and serve the Lord so as to not lose ourselves in the temptation of the devil.
Tying up my hair is the hardest part, āitās getting way too longā I murmur while brushing my dark waves and putting them up in a simple bun.
After getting dressed and tidying up my room, I silently make my way downstairs careful not to make a sound.
When I enter the living room the smell of booze fills my nostrils and I sneeze.
Marcusās body lays unconscious on the couch in some weird uncomfortable pose, arm still holding onto beer on the coffee table.
He looks dead but even by just looking at him I know heās deep into a drunken sleep, saliva wets his cheeks and by the smell of him, heās lying on some dried vomit.
The kitchen is a mess, āhe mustāve drank himself to sleep yesterdayā I think to myself as I reach to pick up a chair and the remains of what used to be a plate and a glass.
Afterwards I sweep and mop the floors, do the dishes and get breakfast ready for Marcus.
Cleaning is a task that I enjoy very much, always been, I find it relaxing, almost soothing. It also reminds me very much of when me and my brother used to share our chores.
It takes me a while to actually finish tidying up the house but I manage to make it out just in time.
The bus stop is three houses up the road from mine and, while I hurry my way there I pass The Prior's house āThis must be a sad day for themā I think to myself, putting my cold hands in my skirtās pockets.
Both of the Prior children left the faction just last year. I never got to know them but Iād sometimes go to their house with Marcus as Mr. Prior is a member of the Council.
Just like them, Their house was much more pleasant and welcoming than ours, my brother never wanted to come along to those dinners, but Mrs. Prior was a great cook and seemed like a lovely mum. āI wonder if they ever came to visitā I mutter to myself thinking about my brother.
I manage to arrive at the stop just in time and, although itās very crowded, I make my way inside. I canāt afford to be late, not today.
Only a few of us Abnegants own cars, if we do theyāre usually old or kind of beat up, the rest of us use public transportation.
Most of the people in the bus are dressed in grey plain clothing. Some, like me, are alumni while others are normal workers, just like the driver.
It takes me almost a quarter of an hour to get to school and by the time we reach the stop, the bus is half empty and half filled by people dressed in bright blue clothing.
Theyāre glares almost pierce my skin, Erudites donāt like us Abnegants, the hatred is mostly reciprocated, though most Abnegants would deny it if asked.
I scurry off the bus, almost tripping on my skirt, and make my way towards the schoolās cafeteria.
The building is much bigger than it actually needs to be, and now, with everyone in the cafeteria, the halls seem almost monumental.
When I reach the waiting room Iām met by five distinct groups and Iām quick to join my fellow Abnegants at the far end of the room.
Almost a quarter of the room is filled by the Dauntless, they sit on the opposite end to our, shouting and jumping around. I follow them with my eyes for a bit before the girl beside me slaps my hand. I look down, I shouldnāt be distracted that easily.
Beside our tables, the amity have abandoned their seats, choosing to sit criss crossed on the floor instead. They're playing some sort of game I donāt recognize while a few of them jam along with a small guitar.
They call an Abnegation girl by the surname Ellis and suddenly a void forms in my stomach and my chair seems unstable. āWhat kind of test is itā, I ask myself, nobody ever talks about it so I always thought it was some kind of secret adults keep from their young.
The other people at the table seem placid, tranquil and absorbed in their thoughts, some of them pray.
āAre there any wrong answers?ā I wonder,āCan I fail the test?ā I dry my sweaty palms on my skirt, some hair slips from my bun and rests on my forehead.
I stare at the door, itās nothing unusual, I donāt know why it catches my attention, itās white while the handle is small and metallic.
My gaze focuses on the handle, then, after what feels like an eternity, it shifts and the door finally opens.
The girl shuffles out the room, a Dauntless man with teal hair follows, he calls my name and I shoot up.
I do it too suddenly, now the whole table is watching me, I keep staring at the door, and without saying a word I make my way inside.
The man comes in after me, closing the door, then he sits on a desk chair in front of a computer.
He lets out a sigh of boredom, āIām Sebastian and today Iāll administer your aptitude testā he types something on the computer, then gestures to me to lay on the medical bed beside him.
I oblige and after I sit, he turns to me, now that I see him up close he doesnāt seem all that menacing like the other dauntless.
He smiles, I notice his teeth are strikingly white and his lower lip is pierced, āIn dauntless he must be considered quite attractiveā I think to myself as he adjusts his chair to be the right height.
He hands me a few sticky patches āI have to place these on your forehead,ā He says, standing above me āItāll look quite sillyā he chuckles, I donāt answer.
Afterwards he takes out a needle filled with some weirdly iridescent colourless liquid āThis,ā he starts while disinfecting my arm āIs the test, donāt worry it doesnāt hurtā.
He sits again, moves my arm towards him, then looks at me tentatively, I nod instinctively and he pushes the needle straight into my arm.
āIt does sting like a bitch though" he murmurs, then adds āBe braveā.
I barely hear him as a weird feeling fills my body, Iām suddenly light as air, my mind's empty, and for a second, I donāt hear anything.
When I wake up Iām standing in a bare room, in front of me are two small tables with a single plate on top of each.
To my right, the plate holds a wedge of cheese, to my left, a knife.
A voice coming from the ceiling shakes me shouting āCHOOSEā repeatedly until I stumble forward, lacing my fingers around the knifeās handle āthis might be usefulā I think to myself while eyeing the cheese.
The tables suddenly disappear and Iām left with just the knife in my hand, it feels much heavier now.
As I look around the empty room a dog comes out of nowhere, itās big, way bigger than any dog Iāve ever seen, it growls and every barks it lets out shakes the whole room.
Its dark coat shines under the dim light, mouth full of white foam, I back away trying to seem as small as possible.
The dog growls again, then lounges at me, pearly teeth showing.
I find myself unable to move, my legs are wobbly, and Iām shaking but my feet are nailed to the ground.
My brother once told me that dogs only attack you if they see you as a threat and for a second I wonder if he was wrong but then the dog reaches me and plops down on its back, belly up and tail wagging.
The knife in my hand now seems useless and awfully heavy, its handle is too big for my hand and I donāt like having it on me, it feels unnatural.
My first instinct is to bend down to pet it and when I do, I find its fur soft and fluffy, it looks at me, eyes filled with love and peacefulness and mouth now clean from the white foam. As Iām on the floor, petting the dog, a tiny little girl suddenly appears out of nowhere.
She seems almost disoriented, dressed in all grey clothes that donāt fit her quite right, we look alike. I stand, ready to help her, but before I can say anything she shouts āPuppyā in a sweet sing-songy voice.
It happens in a split moment, the dog is lunging towards her before I can even react.
Instantly dropping the knife, I throw myself towards the dog, sprinting in an effort to put myself between it and the little girl.
I barely reach it and, as I put myself between the two, I find myself on the floor. For a second I donāt feel anything, not the bite of the dog, not the screams of the little girl, then everything goes black.
When I wake up Iām in an old busy bus, similar to the one I take everuƬyday to school.
Iām sitting beside an old man, burn scars cover most of his face and they seem to continue down his collar.
I donāt stare, my brother always told me it was rude to ogle people.
Heās reading a newspaper intently, shooting me looks of pure disgust every now and then.
Suddenly he lets out an animalistic growl and throws me the paper āDo you know him?ā he shouts, and I shoot up from my seat, backing away from him.
āWho?ā I ask, holding on the newspaper, he points at it aggressively so I take a look at it. Almost the whole first page is occupied by a manās picture, he seems eerily familiar but something in my gut tells me I should lie to the man.
āNo,ā I say, trying to reach the doors of the bus āIāve never seen him in my entire lifeā.
The man grabs my wrist, dragging me forward āYouāre lying!ā he shouts, heās spitting now āIf you told me,ā He stumbles forwards pleading āYou could save me!ā.
Pity fills my heart āOkā I admit, sighing āI might know him, but-ā
Suddenly Iām thrust backwards towards the busās windshield, I scream crashing in it hard, then everything goes back to black.
Iām back to being light and empty, it feels like Iām flying, then Iām back to normal, plummeting down to the floor.
I wake up back in the testing room, disoriented and nauseous, my eyes feel crossed, my limbs wobbly and my brain is in scrambles.
After a few minutes, as I come back to reality completely, I find Sebastian immersed in the computerās screen looking distracted.
āHow did I do?ā I ask, tentatively, trying not to sound too sick.
He turns to me smiling āOh, it went as expected;ā his voice suddenly sounds flat āYouāre an Abnegantā he says, going back to the computer.
I shiver, āAbnegantā, I already knew that wouldāve been the result but hearing it said out loud feels like a punch in the stomach.
Am I just destined to be what Iāve always been? Is my life going to be the same shade of grey forever? I turn back to Sebastian, expecting to be dismissed soon.
āIs everything alright?ā I mutter āA curious Abnegant? Thatās a new oneā He laughs and my eyes widen a bit.
āItās fine, reallyā he waves a hand towards me āI just have to write down your results manually, itāll take a momentā I nod, but he seems to spot my uneasiness.
āEager to go back to your family?ā he asks and I shake my head, maybe too vehemently āJust worried about tomorrowā, he shrugs āDonāt think about it too hard, itāll be okayā.
It takes him just a few minutes to write the report down, then he sends me away with a pearly smile and a hand wave.
āIn abnegation his behaviour would be considered obnoxiousā, I think to myself as I make my way out the building ābut I donāt mind.ā The bus ride home is quiet, most of the seats are empty but I still choose to stand.
Looking at the window I lose myself in the scenery, Eruditeās buildings seem to shine under the late afternoonās sun and people still crowd the streets. The bus takes a longer route, going through Candor, to avoid passing through the Factioness district.
It hasnāt been doing this for long, Abnegation didnāt mind but it wasnāt the Councilās decision to deroute the bus, the other factions simply deemed it safer this way.
The Council didnāt approve of this but, even if I never said it out loud, I much prefer it this way, I donāt mind getting home later in exchange for a safer ride.
I get off the bus with a few other people, we all salute politely with a head nod and I make my way home.
The Priorās home has all its windows closed and the lights seem switched off.
For a second I hesitate, thinking about what they might be doing now, āmaybe theyāre grieving their children?ā I ask myself āI wonder if Marcus would grieve for meā.
āitās a stupid questionā, I murmur,Ā shrugging, then hurry back to my house.
The lights are on, that means Marcus is awake.
The key slides in easily and the door opens with a small creaking noise.
When I step inside Iām met by Marcusās dark stare from the other end of the living room.
āGood afternoonā I say, avoiding to look at him while I slide off my old boots, he stands there, unmoving.
āWhy did it take you so long?ā he stumbles towards me but I know better than to move away āThe bus got de-routed, it goes through Candor nowā āBullshit,ā his voice echoes in my ear, āI swear-ā āYou were out with some guy werenāt you,ā, Now I back away.
My shoulder hit the now closed door, his face inching closer every second āYou were out there with some factionless boy, you whore!ā his breath smells terribly of booze, heās drunk.
I try to wiggle away from him but his hands grab hardly at my arms. āYou are to stay here, with me,ā His spit wets my face ā is that clear Evelynn?ā My name's not Evelynn, but I nod āIām sorryā. My apologies seem to be enough for him, for now, so I hang up my coat and disappear in the kitchen, hoping heāll be passed out again by the time I finish cooking.
Dinnerās easy to prepare, it takes me half an hour to make something and just under five minutes to set the table.
When Iām done setting down the dishes I call out for Marcus, who drunkenly stumbles down the stairs.
Before I sit down, I make his plate and fill up his glass, waiting for him to throw himself on the chair.
When he does, I take my place and fill my own plate. Itās nothing special, really, butter pasta, chicken and some boiled greens on the side.
āSoooā Marcus gestures with his fork, mouth open while chewing āthe test, how did it goā.
I gulp down quickly a bite of my pasta āAbnegationā I whisper, almost like Iām confessing a crime.
He laughs mockingly āThen I donāt have to worry about tomorrow,ā he puts his other hand on the table, suddenly serious āDo I?ā, I nod āOf courseā.
The rest of the meal is quiet, when he finishes eating I do the dishes then I go upstairs.
My room is the last one of the corridor and right in front of it, itās my brotherās.
We shouldāve moved into a smaller home years ago, that room has been empty for the last three years but Marcus always found an excuse to tell the Council to let us stay here.
I hesitate, āWhere is he? I ask myself āIs he even still alive?ā for all I know he could have been eƬdead for the last three years.
Tears fog my vision at the tough so I take refuge in my room, locking it behind me.
I sit on my bed, looking at the grey walls that surround me, I canāt stay here forever but, where could I go? This is all Iāve ever known. I stay there, unmoving for a while, pondering about my future, something Iād never indulged in before.
It feels unnatural for me to be considering leaving my home, my faction, but I do.
I imagine myself living among the Erudites studying all day, then with Candor, becoming some sort of lawyer or maybe singing along with the Amity while picking fruit. I could become a Dauntless, fighting bravely for our city, or I could remain here, doing what Iāve always done, forever.
Something tells me I wonāt be sleeping tonight.
