part two.
"do you think i'll ever get married?"
caleb freezes.
it's barely six in the afternoon. a random wednesday. caleb barely looked at the calendar this morning. it was a few days before classes picked back up and the two of you had finally managed to meet up. he had studied a few hours less, you had managed to excuse a shift and as always - you were back at the comfortable kitchen.
he stood by the sink, doing the dishes before starting to reboot his brain. his eyes are wide and for once, he's utterly speechless. the question came out of nowhere. you were rambling about something else a few minutes ago... something about an argument with a friend. he was too busy getting the stain out of the plate, damn it.
he feels the heat across his chest and he looks back at the spotless plate. you were waiting for an answer and he had nothing to give you. what the hell were you even talking about right now? the two of you were a semester away from graduating. at least he was. you had fallen asleep yesterday talking about a trip together, so what were you talking about?
fuck. did you meet somebody? did you like somebody? did somebody talk to you? fuck, his brain just won't stop searching for an answer.
caleb lets out a laugh. he watches as your eyebrows knit together. "sorry, i was staring at this nasty- anyways." he wipes his hands on the kitchen towel and clears his throat. "what brought this on? you're looking at wedding dresses already?" he tries his best to sound normal. he feels like he's going to pop a vessel. who even dared look at you? he knew that studying so far away would bring problems to the two of you.
you set your elbow on the table and a sigh leaves your lips. you're looking at him yet you're not paying attention. it's like you're looking straight through him. it was supposed to be an easy question but your brain never stops. of course it doesn't. the walls feel like they're going to fall onto you sometimes. marrying somebody doesn't sound like something that could happen to you. something feels broken inside of you.
"let me be a hunter and have some money in my bank account, then i'll think about it." you laugh quietly but there's hesitation in your tone. "i don't know. meeting somebody new, showing them my soul... all while being a hunter. that sounds nauseating. putting yourself through strangers, giving your heart and letting them hurt you. i think i'd simply rather die alone." you say so quietly.
caleb feels his heart shatter. he thought he knew you like the palm of your hand. he knows what you like to eat when you’re sad. he knows to bring a jacket with him anywhere since you’re constantly cold. he knows, he knows. you’re all his thoughts. his only fucking thought most days.
who made you feel like this? were you remember something? why were you feeling so many things?
your blink into place, the thoughts in your tangled head making it hard to focus on anything. it’s always hard to focus.
but what you do notice are his tense shoulders. how caleb’s jaw is locked into place. caleb knows you — as well as you know him. he knows what you’re talking about. you two are more alike if anything. caleb also hates that splitting pain between your lungs when anything slightly upsets you. it’s like hell is trying to swallow you down.
he doesn’t know what to do. what to say. he’s usually so taught out yet — his own options make his heart race. does he turn around? process his love for you? make you realize there’s love for you in him? does he kneel on the kitchen floor and promise to fix your heart?
none.
none of those are options truthfully.
caleb’s priority has always been you.
the faucet is off and he’s turning to you. there’s a small smile on his face and you can’t help but ease up instantly; a small smile on your own face. you weren't expecting him to face you so sudden, but he was always the most put together between the pair.
but you weren’t expecting the softness.
he takes a step towards you, softly putting his hand on your head. you were expecting him to mess with your hair, tangle it with mischief - yet his fingers only rest between your hair. both hearts racing. one expectedly — one in utter anxiety.
“worry about yourself, pips.” caleb says, “you can’t worry about romance if you’re scared of meeting anybody.”
you furrow your brow, “okay hey-”
“hush.” he says, crouching infront of you. “you need to worry about you first. how are you going to be a wife to someone when you can barely handle study halls without facetiming me? be you first, here with me.” he says — his hand on your knee. “then we can worry about all that love stuff. which, i think is true actually.”
the doubts that were surrounding your head, suddenly blank. you look at caleb in disbelief.
“you, mister model builder in boxers, believe in true love? who are you going to marry? gideon?” you say, giggling and he's rolling his eyes.
"alright. you're a brat." he flicks your forehead but there’s a smile on his face. "there's someone for everybody. i'll find mine too."
you smile softly, nodding. “i know you will. i’ll help you find her.”
caleb looks at you, eyes so adoringly. and he smiles so softly. “yeah. i know you will.”
. . .
here lies,
caleb & josephine.