#chrxsrk

[yuzurk]

「  Be My Last 」 ⇢ Royal Eval June 2k20 | +3 CH ; +2 DB ; +1 Wk High Notes ⇢ Yuzu branching out once a mothereffin’ gain [ Q & A | Peppermint Chocolate ]

“ once again she signed up for two projects, not knowing she would be working on a third. ”

as the end of the month came around, yuzu was confident in her groups and her own skills to perform well. despite a million things swirling around in her mind; from worrying about gahyeon and her both making it into heartz, over how the other royal girls would feel once they found out they had auditioned to how this could be her last eval under royal and dowoon was the only fellow trainee she worked with for this potentially last month.

being a usually loyal and honest person, she almost felt like she was cheating when she kept her audition to herself from the boy who had gotten in trouble along with her. 

she made sure to push all these thoughts away though as she prepared for her performances. while q&a was technically her baby, she made sure to invest equally as much time into preparing for both performances, even when her own chosen song was the harder challenge for the triple threat. hitting these high notes and mirroring the vocal strength to match her own raspy voice was something she had to work with a lot of confidence to pull it off. 

the boys had been nothing but sweet during their rehearsals though and even while she performed with them, she was glad to have won them over for this eval. chris and vok were both in sphere and she couldn’t help but wonder if she were to see them more often in the future months to come.

waiting for results really wasn’t her strongest skill. 

on the other hand performing with seokwoo felt almost easy, granted the two had been friends for so long. it made dealing with her guilt towards dowoon almost easy. calming her mind with the thought she didn’t want to wake sleeping dogs, the female let herself go through that vocal performance easy as well. the added dash of rap a welcome change to mix things up. not getting to dance for this month again was a bit of a bummer for the girl who wanted to improve the steadiness of her vocal performance while dancing but at least that way she could confidently deliver without having to worry about any wavers in her voice.

at the end of the day yuzu was satisfied with both her performances. only a few days now till she’d find out if that would be her last eval under royal. 

once she was alone to herself, standing in front of the royal building the female sighed. perhaps all her worries would be for nothing and she wouldn’t get chosen but it sure did feel like a goodbye regardless.

[rkvok]

May Evaluation - Sphere Entertainment Inter-company Company; Sphere Boys vs TRC Boys (Team 1) Song: Egotistic (Remix) [line distribution, video reference] Performing with: @rksungmin, @danielxrk and @chrxsrk​

Now that Daniel’s mentioned it, Moonbok can’t really get the thought of this evaluation being a ‘light’ version of the MGAs. 10 teams vying for the attention and praise of the CEOs of the Big Five. Thankfully, there seems to be no threat of elimination this time round, so the stomach churning nervousness isn’t there any mores. (He’s still nervous, of course. But nothing like back then.)

That doesn’t mean Moonbok intends to lose.

Of course, he never intended on losing during the MGAs either. But as their group is called forward, he firmly pushes any thoughts out of the competition of his head. Making their way to the stage, he smiles easily at the judges, laughing internally at the thought that they must be sick of him appearing in front of them like this. He even manages to not avoid Hyun Bin’s glance. (Mostly.)

Then the music starts and they fall into their roles. It had taken them less than a day to decide on CONVEX’s version of Egoistic, with Chris and Daniel adding their own twists to the song. While Moonbok felt a little guilty in not being able to contribute to the actual arrangement of their piece, Sungmin promised him he was doing the group a huge favour by taking a vocalist position instead of a rapping one.

(Personally, however, Moonbok still thinks that Sungmin is too harsh on himself.)

But you become the center anyway.  But you shouldn’t do whatever you want.  

And Moonbok has to admit, he enjoys it much more than he’d thought. And even compared to when they’d all worked together at the start of the year, this performance felt even better than that one. As though they’d become more in tuned with each other and their strengths and weaknesses. (In fact, he almost regrets the fact that they don’t have to dance for this performance. Almost)

I wanna do whatever I want.

As he sings the song’s final line and their performance comes to an end, Moonbok is grinning and he pushes his hair back from his face. Hopefully, they’ve done enough to win, but even if they haven’t, it’ll just be a disappointment.

Because he’s not going anywhere. Not for a long time to come.

Word Count: 355 (without lyrics)

[danielxrk]

✞ MAY EVALUATION * VOCAL PERFORMANCE ; EGOTISTIC x with SPHERE BOYS ( @rkvok​ @rksungmin​ @chrxsrk​ ) june 1st, 2020

may is a difficult month. he starts it in the gutter, heavy with his hardest goodbye yet and failure in the prior month’s evaluation. he can’t help but feel sorry for himself and marinate in pity at first, paralyzed by grief and self-doubt once again, as he always seems to circle back to. was he really good enough to be a trainee? was he good enough for someone to stay? was he good enough for anything? (he kept circling back to the same answer: no.)

if he learned anything from the mgas, it was to not let his own feelings get in the way of the success of the group. one of the sharpest memories in his mind is yeji and jinyoung’s frustration with him, their scolding and scalding comments as they tried to force him off the floor into something more useful to their team. the last thing he wanted was to go back to that time, and to burden the few boys that were in sphere with the same daniel when they needed him.

so he chokes it back; he smiles, and puts on a chipper air, and if they can tell a difference, they don’t question him. besides, there is something a little genuinely uplifting about making a new arrangement for a song by one of their sunbaes, highlighting different instruments, recording a new backtrack. there’s something sincerely exciting about performing in an auditorium in the seocho complex instead of just a practice room, in front of a crowd and the ceos. 

he tells moonbok it’s funny that they’re competing against trc’s boys when trc’s concept was the other daniel had to exemplify in the mgas, and it is. funnier still is the fact that this setting isn’t so unlike the mgas without the cameras: competing audience, ceos watching from afar, ready to make their judgments. something in daniel clicks despite all of his insecurity-- some sudden determination. maybe it’s the experience falling into place, like second nature now, his mindset already shifting into what it needs to for success in a competitive setting. maybe it’s just that familiar desperation to prove he’s gotten better. maybe he wants to perform in front of the ceo judges and make them regret rejecting him for two seasons in a row.

eventually, as the month and practices stretch on, and he gets to focus on the aspects of music he likes the best, his smiles aren’t so rehearsed. he convinces himself of them, and he feels lighter. maybe part of it is woong’s reminder that god never gives you more than you can handle, and his own realization that comes hand in hand: there are still so many blessings left. 

one of them: a group of creative, talented boys he really likes singing with. it’s hard to spend time with them without thinking of the ones that left, all people he considered friends, maybe moreso than those remaining, but there’s still them. they’re still here together, and preparations for the evaluation are fun, and for as scared as he is to get used to this, he knows he could.

surprisingly, when it’s their turn to set foot on stage, he doesn’t really feel nervous. if he thinks about it, however, the nerves are right below the surface, with his ever-lacking confidence, so he doesn’t think about it. instead, he thinks about empty enigma shows, and cameo, and how much he could use him now to put on the best performance he can. 

they don’t dance, even when the music begins. instead, they hold their poses, the acoustic guitar and bass of the self-recorded backtrack ringing out in the auditorium. daniel makes sure his stare is intense, hopefully captivating, hopefully lacking in nothing.

he starts them off. 

i’m your satellite, revolving around you but that doesn’t mean you’re the sun

moonbok follows him up: a fact that shook him for much of this month. moonbok singing. moonbok, inarguably a stronger rapper than him, likely a stronger dancer than him, singing, and working daniel out of bohyung’s lines. daniel was left with narae’s, whom he personally knew as a weaker vocalist, but-- upon listening to the song they were covering multiple times, he learned to let it go a little. everyone in spica was just about equally talented, just like the boys in this group. (it’s what he tried to convince himself of, anyway-- always a battle of daniel and his anxieties.)

things are flowing your way don’t hurt me

sungmin leads the way with his reliable rapping next, and in this moment, daniel is lucky enough to only focus on the performance, and the enjoyment of it (not the insecurity, not the rampant knowledge that sphere doesn’t need him, because in all of his talents, there is someone better than him.)

the backtrack builds up, instrument upon instruments, up to the chorus, and then it drops out, only leaving bare bones instrumentation and daniel to sing.

i’m always all about you you you you you’re always about me me me me

it’s not a song he particularly relates to, nor does he want to. he doesn’t want to be angry and bitter, but deep down, a part of him is-- angry to be left behind so often, angry to be criticized and put down and taken advantage of so often. maybe he can channel a little bit of that into the song, or maybe he just wants to have fun performing in front of like-minded people again. it’s a competition, sure, but he’s mainly excited to see the talent all of the companies have up their sleeve (and probably inevitably compare himself to them regardless.)

he gets to finish off the chorus too.

do whatever you want, ay

he doesn’t sing again until the next prechorus, but in the meantime, he works his way around the stage, making eye contact with the other trainees, trying to make the performance fun and engaging in the lack of their dancing.

even if i get mad, that only hurts my lips

in comes another chorus that daniel lends his voice to, and then the slightest bridge. he gets the line that transitions them into the next prechorus, and also the only full english line, always beloved in daniel’s heart.

i’m ready to go on my way

their last chorus is more explosive, with a thicker instrumental, fuller and closer to the original while still staying true to the new sphere boys arrangement. they reach the end, and he sings his final line in a round of echoes and harmonies:

just be with yourself

[rkharuto]

watanabe haruto’s march ‘20 eval best concept: vixx shangri-la w/ @rkdongmin & @chrxsrk worst concept: b1a4 beautiful target w/ @jkookrk, @rksungmin​ & @rkxjongsuk​

the sooner this month was over and done with, the better. 

having to worry about just one performance was usually enough to stress him out completely, but having to think about two in one month? it was surprising that he didn’t just have a complete mental breakdown the moment he heard the news, somehow managing to hold himself together for long enough to actually worry about what he was going to do. the dream concept was easy enough, just something he pulled up from his memory from dancing a bit of it back during the mags. 

it was the worst concept which was the problem and in the end, jeongguk ended up dragging him into his group with some other trainees to do a cute concept. at least it was something he could agree with - cute was really not something he was very good at. while a lot of people seemed to think he was a cute person, haruto really didn’t like that notion. he also never acted cute, so at least the group and song choice would actually work out being a concept he really didn’t want to be performing. 

the whole month was spent completely focusing on his two groups and trying to get everything to an acceptable level to perform. so, when performance day finally rolled around, haruto was at least confident enough that he wouldn’t end up putting a foot wrong. though he could never completely get rid of his nerves, the wriggling feeling of eels in his stomach as he thought about every little thing that could possibly go wrong. not to mention how he had been roped into being a rapper again for his worst concept. 

it seemed he was ending up more and more in groups that needed a rapper and he was the only one to fill that spot. not that he supposed he was really complaining about it, but he could almost see himself completely becoming a rapper more than a vocalist. ideally, he would still want to do both, but there were far fewer rappers out there then there were vocalists and groups were always going to need a rapper. at least he wasn’t going to have to do it by himself and he had sungmin to be a second rapper. because having to do all the rapping by himself would just be a little more than overwhelming. 

the best concept was up first to perform and haruto was as relaxed as he could be about the whole thing. he trusted dongmin and chris to do a good job as well and it was rather comforting to be performing in a group instead of solo. that meant everyone wouldn’t just be staring right at him the whole time, which did sort of help with the niggling stage fright and nerves eating away at him from the inside out. they had practiced hard for this performance, going over it over and over again and practicing the steps and the positioning until they were all aching and sweaty. 

all in all, he did have to say it went pretty well, every step was careful, making sure that he didn’t accidentally trip over or slap someone in the face with his fan. and while his vocals could have probably been a little better and no doubt he was going to get critiqued on it later, the only thing he really cared about was the fact he had managed to say all the right words in the right order. and now he could worry about the second performance. 

at least there were more people for him to hide behind this time. in his opinion, the more people in the performance with him the better off he was going to be about the whole thing. and while the song and the concept were all still completely horrible to even think about performing, he knew they had practiced this and at least they were all in the same boat. not one of them actually liked this concept and they were all struggling through it together.  and haruto liked to think that bond they shared helped things run a little smoother. 

they were no major slip-ups on his part and he was sure the others had given it their very all as well. no doubt the coaches carefully watching them would have something to complain about (they always did), haruto still felt pretty happy about what he had just done. at least now he knew he could actually manage to learn and perform two different songs with wildly different concepts in only a month. 

[rkhyxnggu]

               ╰☆╮ A DREAM IN A NIGHTMARE ╰☆╮

Bang Bang Bang (line distribution) | @danielxrk, @rkrose, @chrxsrk Beautiful Target (line distribution) | @jkookrk, @rkharuto, @rkxjongsuk

Sungmin knew that the breezy evaluations (at least in his opinion) were too good to be true. He had been waiting for that one evaluation that really challenged him. He didn’t have to wait long. As soon as the staff entered the room, he had a feeling of dread. Once they opened their mouths, his whole body sank. Not only did they have to perform two routines, but one had to be a concept they were dreading.

This should be fun.

There were really only two concepts that he felt most comfortable doing – band and hip hop. Of course, neither involved dancing, which was one of the requirements for this month. Of course he had to pick the two hardest concepts. He really hated himself sometimes. When it came to his ‘horror’ concept there was only one thing that sprung to his mind; cute. If there was anything Choi Sungmin couldn’t do, it was act cute.

He really hated this month.

Preparations for both concepts were interesting. For Bang Bang Bang, he was working with Daniel once again in a band, which brought back mixed emotions within him (and he was sure Daniel was experiencing the same thing). Somehow, they had to incorporate dancing in their performance, which was not easy. Still, they had somehow managed to work it out. He didn’t know the other two in their group, but they were both talented and the group worked well together, which was all that mattered.

Beautiful Target, however, was a completely different story. While he was ecstatic to be working with Jungkook finally, the circumstances were beyond ideal. Neither male enjoyed the concept which made things easier. Sungmin felt like a fish out of water whenever he performed the song. It wasn’t that the choreography was hard, it was that he had to act cute. It physically hurt him to act cute.

The month seemed to fly by and performance day came. For once, Sungmin felt uneasy. He was dreading performing Beautiful Target which only added to the pressures he felt whenever evaluations rolled around. He let out a deep sigh as he waited for his turn.

The rapper always struggled to ascertain how well evaluation performances went. The staff were hard to read and all he could use to tell was how well he performed. Bang Bang Bang was easier for him since he was in his element standing behind his keyboard. As long as Sungmin was able to rap, he knew he could ace any performance, at least vocally. He had moved as he played, trying to find ways to ‘dance’ while he played the keys.  Of course, they had a small choreographed piece that they had performed. It had been a fun performance.

Beautiful Target, however, was something different. He had felt pain throughout his body as he performed the routine. His rap was where he had naturally shined, and he felt less pain as he had rapped his line. The group had tried their hardest with their performance, but neither were ‘cute’ and it was obvious.

[rkrose]

SOMEONE YOU LOVED.

♡ ╎ @chrxsrk​ ; 

it was late, way past normal dining hours. but rose and chris weren’t the most conventional or normal couple, given the fact that date nights were now rare and that their relationship had been sworn to secrecy. but tonight was different, the two lovebirds from down under were luck enough to enjoy a christmas dinner of sorts, knowing that they wouldn’t be able to enjoy a dinner on the actual christmas day. things were notably different now chris was a trainee. rose was happy for him, but it was definitely different for her, especially seeing him from across the way at seocho and not being able to kiss or hug him as she usually would. but she would make do.

both of their schedules and experiences as trainees managed to vary, so they could thank royal and sphere for that. but the two of them managed to make their relationship work. both of them were good at communicating and touching base with one another, it was probably why rose felt so secure and happy in their relationship. and it was probably why the two of them were almost at their one year with eachother. it felt like yesterday the two of them were sitting on a swing set in the city at night, talking about their feelings and their experiences in the past. and while she likes to reminisce about those days, she is more than grateful for what they have now.

rose carefully collects the plates from the dining room table before gathering them into a neat stack before shuffling through to chris who was already in the kitchen. “here you go! the plates.” she chimes as she places the dishes down on the draining board. “hey, leave them. i’ll wash up.” rose sighs, resting her head on her boyfriend’s shoulder. she glances across to him. “thank you for dinner.” she hums. the corners of her mouth turning upwards into a smile. “come on, let’s go have a glass of wine and wind down.” she says softly, reaching for chris’ hand, intertwining their fingers. “don’t wanna spend the rest of our evening cleaning the dishes, do we? although that’s very husband-and-wifey of us, isn’t it?” rose then adds with a chuckle.

[rkdoyoung]

♕ ✦ —  salvation.

@chrxsrk

to say that it’s been a long day would be an understatement.

as much as he loves to dance, spending all day doing just that feels like overkill, giving him flashbacks to his very first evaluation, having to busk for the better part of the day. he didn’t think he’d be doing anything similar so soon, and it seems like his body agrees with the sentiment, aching all over, even in places he doesn’t think he’s even been using. the worst of it, however, is in his knee, bringing up even more memories of an even worse time, before he found a new passion and moved back to seoul.

for this reason, he’s exceedingly glad when the day is over and they’re allowed to return back to their rooms for the day, throwing himself onto his bed with a groan of both satisfaction and pain. without getting up from his bed, he reaches over for his bag, pulling it toward him and shuffling through it until he’s found the magic he’s looking for. with a grin, he pulls out the tin of sore muscle salve and begins applying it, sounds of relief and satisfaction leaving his throat as he applies it.

with his hand still rubbing the ointment into his skin, he turns his head to grin at one of his roommates for the three days they’re at the camp, wiggling his brows. “hey chris, care for a massage?”

after all, sharing is caring.

[rkharuto]

watanabe haruto’s june ‘20 eval rapping to Q & A  with @yuzurk, @rkvok, @chrxsrk

deciding to do a song that had only just come out was a little challenging. 

it was not even a song he had been familiar with before agreeing to take the parts, but over the past month he was confident that he could rap his parts without even thinking about it very much. for the most part, he was simply pleased that he had managed to find himself a group in the first place and wasn’t struggling to slip into somewhere at the last second. it was not like he knew a lot of collaboration songs to begin with, and not really any he thought anyone else would actually like to do with him. so, haruto wasn’t complaining all too much and was happy to keep his head down and just get on with things. 

the whole thing was just a lot easier than the previous month had been. a lot less stressful as well which was something he was rather thankful for. and the people he was working with were nice enough as well so he didn’t have much to complain about. it was better than spending the whole month complaining and disagreeing with everything. so, when evaluation day finally rolled around at the end of the month, the teenager was feeling particularly chill about everything and not in the least bit worried. 

and the performance itself was actually surprisingly easy and he more or less breezed through it. while rapping was still not something he was 100% confident on, the amount of practice he’d been made to do on it was rather helping. and he supposed he had brought it on himself this time as there was nothing telling him that he had to take a rap part. he could have gone and done a singing part if he had wanted to, but in the end, he’d picked rapping. he didn’t really know why, but he supposed it was just extra practice and keeping the coaches trying tp push him into being a main rapper happy. 

when all was said and done, the boy was feeling quite happy with how he had done. he hadn’t done anything horribly wrong and he had thought their group had performed well as a unit. nothing to worry about in the slightest. it was a nice change of pace compared to how he had been feeling about everything a month ago. and sure, things were not perfect and he still had many issues at home, especially now his mother’s baby bump was starting to get more visible, but training was actually helping take his mind off things. 

and with this evaluation now behind him and feeling as though he had done a good job, all haruto could do was look towards the next one and hope that it was going go just as well as this had.